Humble Bumble

 Two months after my highest high of crushing the Pecha Kucha... I was asked to present it to the Executive Leadership Team by my VP.  He meant well... to get me out in front of senior leaders.  And he was trying to showcase some of this organization's contributions.  But as the day drew near... the number of attendees started to dwindle.  From 15-20... down to 10... down to 4... down to 2.  Really, it was 1, because my VP heard it already. 

And I so royally bombed. 

Not my fault.  

It was the worst of worse situation... to a point where the one person audience harnessed all his politeness.. listened... got up... and left.  My VP felt so bad he texted me and apologized.  

I had a feeling this was gonna happen and it really is no hair off my back.  But still... doesn't feel good to be humbled this way.  

That phone call...

Was wrapping up a meeting and HR called.  They never call... they IM you first.  Something was up.

After an afternoon of swirl with some assumptions and expectations... Got another call.  This time during dinner and on my personal cell.  This time instead of HR, was my VP.  

"I've got some bad news to deliver."  

(No.  No no no!! Don't say it.)

"XXXXX has past away."

(NO!!!! This can't be real!!!!). 

In my mind... I thought that person may have had a stroke... maybe a mild heart attack.  Something that happens when you're around your late 40's / early 50's... and it just happens.  But you get better after a health scare and things get back to normal.

I was shocked.  

Just last week.. we were in meetings together.  We broke bread.  We even went out to dinner to talk about vacation... kids... life outside of work.  Ironically... this person even mentioned that their heart rate has been going up and needed to check it out.

I was shocked.  I didn't know how to act.  Gave my family a hug.  Cherish who I have.  I knelt down... said a prayer for the family.  Who knows what they're going through.

Then I texted my colleagues and friends, telling them if they want to talk, I'm here to listen.

Then I went for a walk.  I needed to "do something."  And about 0.25 mile into my walk... I looked up at the blue sky.  And uncontrollably uttered the words, "Thanks, XXXXX."  

Will wait till more details to come while continuing to process.

Back to NOLA

 After about 3 months... I finally make it back to New Orleans.  The flight was.... odd.

Sat in front of a family with a young toddler and a newborn.  I was kinda glad that it was me.  I wouldn't have minded any noise or crying.  Let me bear that cross.

Ironically... another dad sat next to me.  I know he was a dad cuz I saw his wall paper on his phone.  As we started to roll to take off... the todder behind the middle seat started kicking the chair.  Uncontrollably.  I thought, "The parents will do something, right?" But they didn't.  Didn't hear a peep.  And the kicking continued.  Not sure what I would've done... even as patient as I am... I don't know if I can stand constant kicking of the chair.  And the dude finally said, in an annoyed yet polite way, "Can you please stop the kicking? Thank you."  

Not bad.  Forceful, but had the decency to say "please" and "thank you."  I know parents can't control everything... but that was definitely something they could've controlled.  

Then as we landed.... the lady and the toddler got up and crowded in the aisle way.  They were rarin' to get out of the plane.  Slowly... the people in front of us got up row by row... left then right.  And the mom and the toddler showed NO SIGNS of yielding.  The same dad whispered, somewhat loudly, to me, "So much for airplane etiquette."  I didn't know what to say.  Again... this was something the parents could control.  But it's a 2 year old that's been cramped up for 4.5 hours.  She wanted to stretch her legs.  I simply shrugged and said, "It's alright. Whatever."  

Then it got to the folks in front of us... the mom and toddler didn't even yield to them.  They sped and ran.  I slowly waited till they were done.  Then I wailed till the folks on the other side of the aisle got up and left.  Then I got up.... I looked at the dad who had the newborn in his hands.  His wife and daughter ditched them.  I told him, "Go ahead."  So he can catch up with this family.  And he so nobly said, "No.. it's ok.  You go."  And I replied... "No.. you go."  And he said, "Nah.. it's ok."  I didn't want to fight him and further delay our deboarding.  I guess the loud whisper worked.  But to what end????

Anyhoo... finally got to the car. Texted my colleague I won't join them for dinner and I made a stop at Pesces.  Ahhhh... home sweet home.  

Got the gumbo... which was extremely salty.  Will probably avoid it next time. 

The fried oysters and ground shrimp spicy pasta on the other hand... to die for!!!! 

And that's why I keep coming back.

Tough pill to swallow

 Day 2 of the Norcal Tournament…. And the boys were clearly hitting their stride.  They went back to their original rotation, with SW as setting and Rishab as middle.  We didn’t have any problems with the 1^st set of the 1^st match…. Playing a team that we’ve always played and never lost to.  We were up comfortably and needed one more point to win…. When SW decided to showboat (or play up) and served a topper to the top of the net.  Much to the dismay of all the parents, “Why!?!??!?!”  Luckily… that one little mishap didn’t turn into bad happenings.  We ended up beating Aspire Ninja handily… which goes to show how much the team has improved.

But in the finals of the Bronze bracket… after winning the 1^st set without breaking a set… everyone started fooling around.  The Coach played with the lineup to let other players play.  And after it went back and forth… back and forth… it started looking like this might not go our way.  One of the bystander parents even said, “Looks like this might go to 3.”  For some reason, we just couldn’t pull away.  Until… we finally did.  We were up by 3… and had all the momentum.  Then… one of the players decided to showboat, like SW did, and serve a topper.  His serve not only didn’t make it over the net… it actually hit one of our own players.  No worries.  We were still up by 2.  And then… things started unraveling.  One point after another… we kept messing up.  Simple, stupid mistakes.  The momentum… suddenly swung.  Even after a couple of couldn’t stop the avalanche.  23-25.  Lost the 2^nd set. 

No worries… we were clearly the better team.  We just need to hunker down and play like we played in the first set.  We got this.  For the 3^rd set… set went with our “3^rd set rotation – where we go 5:1.”  And within a blink of an eye… we were down 0-8.  Horrible passes.  Miscommunication between SW and the middle.  Ill-advised plays.  Everyone was just going the wrong way.  We eventually tied it at 11-11 and thinking… our experience can take us over the hill.  Not this time.  Not with the showboating.  Not with the series of bad and missed-calls from the refs.  The deck was stacked against us… the final score was 11-15.  One of the worst losses of this team’s history.  Almost as bad as being up 10-0 against MVVC and throwing it.  This was worst.  This was against a clearly worse team.  It was painful… it sucked…. And the boys had to wear it.  May it be a lesson learned in life… foot on the neck.  Strike first.  Strike hard. No mercy. 

End of an Era

 After 3 years of teaching ESL… I wrapped up… what is seemingly the last class I will ever teach.  At least the last class I’ll teach as a full time ESL teacher at SJCAC.  The traffic gets worse and worse.  And now that the kids aren’t serving in Tutoring… it makes it hard for me to go solo.  Add on the fact that Joyce has given me an unwritten quota of what I can do with my “spare” time… the time has come to invest in New Vine and no longer SJ. 

 I’ve always felt I had a knack for teaching.  With so many examples and role models in my life… I’ve tried to take the best from all the best… and then roll it together and make it my own.  I’ve had my own struggles.  I’ve tried things that made out like a lead balloon and fallen completely flat and failed.  But for every fail… I probably had over 10-20 wins.  Like how the Tuesday attendance were noticeably hire than the Thursday class.  Or how students flat out tell me they come because of me.  Or when one of the students I demoted tried to beg to stay… because in her broken English and my broken Spanish… she knew the difference in my teaching style. There will always be a special place in my heart for helping new immigrants.  How many angels have helped my family in the past… I long to be able to pay it forward and help someone else.  And perhaps… in some weird way… they too will end up helping someone else. 

 These past three years have been humbling, challenging, and rewarding.  I was able to serve together with N and SW… for a short time.  A lot of times, those 45 minute drives ended up being naps for them.  I can’t express the joy I have when I share a different bible verse each week… and see the students’ face light up when they feel the encouragement of God’s words.  I’ve been graced by the presence and efforts of many of the pillars of SJCAC.  Seeing how many of them have served in ESL for years if not decades… and they continue to bring it, week after week, year after year.  I am saddened to see some of our students come and go… some disappear because of jobs. But more recently, they disappear for other reasons. 

 I end ESL with the same bible verse that was come as an anthem for my time in this ministry… where I set my alarm to go off at 10:02PM every day… to pray the words of Luke 10:2.  “The harvest is plenty, but workers are few.”  How I long that there’ll be a surge and abundance of young adult teachers that will give up a weeknight to be part of this ministry… to be part of God’s vision. 

Crash and Burn

 Oh geez… easily one of the worst worship experience ever.  I blame myself for not practicing on my edrums at home.  I blame myself for not knowing 6/8.  I blame myself for trying to do too much.  I blame the lack of chemistry this team has with each other.  It was so bad… I couldn’t bring myself to listen to it again.  Let’s hope this is rock bottom.

Glamping

 One of the perks of going to King’s is getting done with school earlier than most.  Last year, we went camping at Tahoe with the Tat’s and Yu’s.  I still have the bug from being outdoors, but knowing the family aren’t quite the outdoorsy type… decided to try glamping.  I typed in Grok, “Best Bay Area glamping” and was recommended to go to Wildhaven Sonoma.  A short 2 hour drive… with a fully furnished cabin with AC, heater, power, queen sized mattressed bed… community shower with hot water, propane grills, and individual camp fires.  There was also a private access to the Russian River – which we didn’t take advantage of. 

 My original plan was actually going white water rafting… but Joyce was against it… so we went kayaking down the Russian River instead.  It was a beautiful and wonderful idea.  To be in nature.  To see wild life.  To observe God’s creation.  It was wonderful…. For the first 30 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!  But the entire trek was 9 friggin miles!!!  I had no idea what 9 miles means.  Driving… it’s about 10-15 minutes.  Running… it takes about 1.5-2 hours.  But paddling… on a river… that doesn’t flow… under the hot sun.  Absolutely horrible!!! An hour into the trip… everyone was clearly tired and frustrated.  But there was no cutting the trip short.  You simply had to… finish what you’ve started.  And it being a long raft… it was hard to maneuver.  To a point where we zig zagged our way through.  When it was all said and done… we probably did collectively 13-14 miles of paddling and not 9. 

 The worst part of this trip…. I was never one to be afraid of feeding the bugs.  I know I get bitten, but my skin usually doesn’t react.  Whereas Joyce and Rachel get bumps and swells… SW and I are almost impenetrable.  So I sat outside the entire day and entire night.  I didn’t put on any bug spray.  I became… a smorgas board for the mosquitoes.  I literally could see them and feel them on my skin.  And now… I’m itching all over.  My legs.  My arm.  My face.  It’s so bad…. I get why some people don’t like the outdoors.  If this happened to me everytime I went camping… I wouldn’t want to go either.  But yet… I’m me.  Knowing what I know now… and what I can do to prevent it… I’ll only want to go back but be more prepared.  Maybe next time… we really can fulfill my dream of a whitewater rafting trip… with our without AC, power, or mosquitoes. 

Get my money's worth

We got this TV about a year before NN was born.  It was a deal… one of the last TV’s Toshiba made.  When I bought it from Best Buy… I did my research to a point where I drove up… found the sales man… and said, “I want this.”  I still remember him saying, “Wow… you know what you want, don’t ya?”  17+ years later… we finally have to bid farewell to old faithful.  It started kibutzing about 6-7 years ago.  Then about 3 years ago… it went out on us once.  We went to Costco to get a replacement… and upon coming home… plugged it in one last time to check before tossing it.  And amazingly…it came back to life.  The kids were so disappointed!!!  This time, we weren’t as lucky.  With TV’s having an estimated lifespan of 5-7 years…. Our TV lasted 3 times that.  We got our money’s worth.

 As we went to Costco… it was thrilling being able to grab, not a shopping cart, but a little flatbed.  And as we wheeled the TV through the crowds… we can sense the eyes of envy staring at us.  It was just a simple 55” OLED.  I bet some of the eyes were mocking at us… laughing for not buying a bigger TV.  It’s ok… this is a temporary TV until we move into a better home with a living room fit for a nicer TV.  Like the Toshiba… I look forward to this being another 15-17 year temporary TV. 

Under my wing

 One of my direct reports recently made manager… and he’s enrolled in a Front Line Leader course.  One of the assignment he has is to solicit comments from his team and peers.  Then process and digest the comments and create some sort of action plan.  I remember doing something like this when I first made Sr. Manager… and it was so natural for me to build a presentation that walked my boss through everything.  Was I wrong in expecting him to do the same? Not only did he not do the same… he was completely unprepared.  Was opening files left and right… pulling up empty PDF’s… moving files from one screen to another.  10 minutes into his presentation… I did what I’ve never done before.  I stopped his presentation.  I flat out told him… this is out of character.  He’s unprepared and this is not professional.  He’s wasting my time and wasting his own time.  After pulling a rug out from him.. I threw him a life jacket and said, “Run it back and we can do this again.” 

 He must’ve felt like crap the rest of the day.  That night, a Friday night mind you, he even texted me and apologized.  I decided to ignore it for one night… and let him stew on it a bit more.  The next morning, I replied, “It was a good meeting!  We shared... we talked... we learned.  I think it revealed some things in both our styles / approaches.  We'll both get better.” 

 I hate having that power trip… but with this power, also comes responsibility.  I’ve been entrusted with this young man to shape and mentor.  And that’s what I will do.

Dance Showcase - Showtime

 Annual dance showcase… and once again… NN’s class dominated.  There’s good… and there’s not so good.  And then, there’s simply great.  NN has always stood out as a dancer.  Ever since she was dancing for Arrows in the Christmas Performances, her natural abilities outshone her peers.  Throughout the years at TKA… her class would somehow end up with the best numbers.  This year was no exception.  And even in an off year… where I think the dance teacher is out of ideas or low on creative juice or distracted.   NN… ever having a chip on her shoulder for being overlooked or typecasted as the smaller, cute Asian, was given some major prominent roles this time.  NN sometimes wonders… how far she would go had we put her in formal training.  Forget regrets… or life is yours to miss. 

Talking talking talking

 Day 2 of NN’s last tournament of the season (that she can attend).  She already missed day 1 cuz of her AP exam. I hinted we can avoid the 2 hour drive… but she insisted.  I had a bunch of podcasts and songs prepared.  And then… we started talking and talking and talking some more.  She threw out memes about Trump and the Trade Wars, but everything she said lacked critical thinking of research.  I started explaining to her some of the math and data behind what was happening.  She was flabbergasted at how the world is shaped… how unfair the world is.  The talk then moved to relationships… family history… I gave her my view of recycling.  My pet peeves.  My view of church and religion.  At times, she got upset at me for making a hot take and being argumentative.  I didn’t take the bait… I simply explained how I can easily argue the other way, and probably win the argument.  But the point wasn’t to win… but to understand all sides… and make an informed decision, instead of believing what social media tells you in an IG short.  After a frustrating day on the courts… we grabbed a quick bite… picked up a Dutch Bros… and started on a 2 hour drive home.  And once again… we talked, talked, talked.  Didn’t even need to play any of the podcasts. 

 As much as I complain about these club trips… I truly, madly, deeply cherish every single one of these moments… these moments in time.