廿載情

 

Come and see.

ES Men's Prayer Group sponsored a BBQ lunch for Saturday ESL.  They invited all the pastors (none showed up) as well as all the regular teachers.  His email subject was "Come and see." I'm going to sub for a couple of weeks in July, so I might as well go observe.  But the cool thing was... I subtly brought the family with me.  I didn't ask them... I told them... to come with me Saturday morning.  Not knowing what to expect... I wouldn't look them in the eye.  I was just hoping, praying, wishing, that they won't give me the stink eye, and actually give ESL a chance.  Give it a chance... and they'll experience for themselves the joy of paying back to society.

For the first 15 minutes... they didn't know where to go.  I didn't know where to go.  So they just sat in the back of class.

Then the teachers split the class and it was just us 4 in one class.  SW and NN were so bored... they walked out.  Then we broke up into groups and the Teacher Assistants had to help each of the groups with pronunciation.  I naturally took my 7 people under my wing.  And out of the corner of my eye... I see that Joyce and then NN... owned their own group.  They were doing it.  Investing in it.

Then it was break time.  Everyone went to get pastries... coffee... drinks.  And I saw NN, SW, and some of the students' kids playing volleyball!!!!  Barriers broken.

Back from break... we had more group exercises.  Led by NN and Joyce.  SW... hung around. 

I didn't know what to expect when I brought the fam.  But as we were driving home..  they couldn't stop talking about the positive experience in serving those in need.  So glad that they were able to "come and see."  Now... it's time to "Go and tell."  

Slider

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 147

The family was on the couch watching TV.... I come crashing down next to Joyce after another long day.  I kick off my slippers to let my toesies get some air.  And she aptly makes a sour face... takes the throw and covers my feet.

"I'm sorry. I have sweaty feet!!"
"I know...."

As Tom Cruise so famously said in Top Gun.... "Slider... *sniff*... you stink." 

有位就擺

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 118

Pet Peeve #239.... 見有位就擺.  (Hmm... not kidding.  Maybe I should make a list of my PP's).

The other day... we went biking as a family.  I pick up the garage door opener from the shelf - the same spot that it sits on.  It knows no other spot.  It's been sitting there since who knows when.  When we're done... I'm the last to come back into the house.  I walk over and try to return the garage door opener to it's rightful spot... when I see a pair of sunglasses there.  Dude!!! The sunglasses don't belong there.  Just because there's an open spot doesn't mean you can take it!

Our garage is a warzone.  We buy so much stuff in bulk.  I spend so much time organizing and putting things into their right shelves.  The pasta shelf.  The snack shelf.  The canned food shelf.  It takes time to clear up floor space so there's room to walk and park our car and bikes.  But every time some space opens up... it gets taken over and gets randomly occupied.  

Just because there is a free spot... doesn't mean you can just place the chicken stock there.  There's a chicken stock shelf!!!  Just because there is a free spot... doesn't mean you should place a box of 6 handsoap dispensers.  Put that in the bathroom, please. We buy 2 more bags of rice because our SIP inventory is running low.  Where does it end up... tripping me on my way out to do laundry.  I pick up the rice and attempt to put it the bottom shelf, where it belongs and what do I find in that shelf?? A giant pack of pasta... that I knew we bought...but didn't know where it went.  Of course the pasta is there,.. there was probably a gaping hole. 

Heh... maybe someone has a similar list of Pet Peeves... and #239 is "when people are obsessed with organization and order."

普天同慶聖誕夜

 COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 112

Another CS Event in the books.  I recommended we do this... PAL bit... but I pulled an immediate bait and switch and opted out of organizing it.  For one... I was really tired of hearing people make all the recommendations but take no action.  But the real reason... I've been running a lot of CS events the past few years and we really needed another set of gigs and gags and not a re-run of what's in my demented mind.

The team of four was amazing.  They really banned together and there was soooo much passion and love that night. So many new concepts and entertainment programs.  Of course... 大家姐 really took the helm and made it her own.  PC did an amazing job producing the event.  And the night truly was about pointing everyone to the true Christmas star of the show - Jesus. 

In the end... PC did bring me back into the team.  You can't replace experience with just creativity and energy alone. I was understandably grateful that the past 2 months, I didn't have to pull too many strings or cash in on any favors.  

The one thing I can't get over though is... they had 4 people pull this together when I've been doing most everything on my own.  And when I say four... the most important person I miss in all my events... came into light when C-lai Chan was right by PC's side the entire time.  Not only did she construct two of the biggest videos of the evening and pieced together heavenly worship from all walks of life... but how she was literally by his side in all the meetings, all the rehearsals and throughout the evening.

How I long for Joyce to serve by my side.... 

A bit of normalcy

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 59

Went shopping at Target with Joyce... not cuz we needed to buy anything... just because I felt like going shopping with my beloved. Walked around the high-tech section to see what the latest fads are.  Boy are we obsolete! Then headed over to Starbucks and picked up a PSL.  

And now... I have a nice clean set of intestines.  Works every time. Haha.... back to a bit of normalcy. 

Γεια σας από την Ελλάδα

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 23

Γεια σας από την Ελλάδα!! (Hello from Greece!!)

After a 13 hour flight to Paris, and another 5 hour hop, we finally landed uneventfully in El. Venizelos International here in Athens.  We broke the clouds from the heavens of Olympus to be greeted by the majestic Acropolis just as lady Liberty does back home. Exiting the plane, I expected to pull up to Fraternity and Sorority row, with alphabets that make up my college math book, but sadly, everything is in English.  Without even caring for our luggage or getting a SIM card, we dashed toward the airport cafe and enjoyed a cup of overpriced, watered down Greek Coffee. Hmmm... nothing like washing down the crunchiness of the grounds with the nectar of the gods. 

Customs and Security was simple. They probably think we’re Japanese tourists and knew we were good for spending money on frivolous things (like overpriced coffee).  And yes... there was an airport Starbucks, very American looking. Greeks are fascinating. You have the one or two stereotypical types in mind, but this is a fascinating race with some of the greatest mixture of hair color, skin tone, eye hue, and facial structure. Common to anything and everything superficial, they all had the same smile and sparkle.

We got our luggage and started hunting down our resort shuttle. This is the worst part of any trip.. getting to your final destination when dozens of folks are screaming at you and waving pamphlets of tour busses, limos and horse drawn chariots driven by men in togas (no kidding). For some odd reason, we started following a few other American couples. In a strange and far away land... you naturally band together in hopes of survival.

How we finally met Adonis, I don’t know, but I haven’t felt so safe to be in Toyota Sienna since the time our car broke down on Hwy 5 and Zemmi rescued us from starvation and sun exhaustion. 2 of the other couples found a neighboring Sienna and were off to see who gets to the hotel check in line first. 

The sun was still shying behind the morning clouds... but you can tell the city was waking up with so many buses and cars starting to pile into the highway - full of kids and backpacks nonetheless. Adias and Under Armor the apparent style of choice. Maybe Nikes left town once Phil Knight famously moved his factory east ward to save a few pennies.

You can tell we’re approaching the luxurious, vacation spots in town as the gradual climb gave way to palm trees, Alfa Romeos and Maseratis.  I think I saw a Mercedes E Class.. and out jumped what looked like a gardener and his crew. Geez....

We lost the race to our fellow Americans and had to wait to check in. Katina hands our luggage to the bell service and immediately usher us to the lounge.  Line?! What line!!! If this resort were a temple... we were now going to pay our respects to Dionysus. We didn’t even have brunch yet and she’s pouring us a glass of fine local Greek wine. Along with some pita bread and hummus... we had our first official meal in Olympus. 

Katina is everything you would expect from a Greek goddess. Hair tied back, olive skin, a strong determined jaw bone, balanced out by the gentle curves of a decathlete. Oddly... she spoke with an English accent. New Zealand is where she grew up, having immigrated there as a kid and coming “home” after college to immerse in the culture.  She’s barely 25.... the world is her oyster... her goal is to build up her resume so she can join the Disney Cruise and really go see the world. (Silly kid...)

I was doing well paying respects to Dionysus as I’m on my third glass, when Alexandros strolls by with our package and itinerary. For some reason, he reminds me of a blond Jimmy G... With much regret, we bid αντιο σας to Katina and we’re whipped into hallways after hallways of statues and fresco painting.  Screw the Athenian Museum, there was more here than we can possibly take in with 3 months, let alone 3 days.

We arrive in our rooms... or shall I say... my little townhouse. We were greeted by a big banner that says “Happy 15 Year Anniversary.” Heh... Katina got my message. Gotta remember to tip her later.  Then I noticed instant Greek coffee that has an odd semblance of Folgers. And next to it, a six pack of Mythos. I felt the need to pay my respects to the Greek god of beer. Maybe later.  Turns out Alexandros will be our personnel guide / host during our stay here.  He’ll get us to where we need to go... and if need be... come along with us to make sure we find the best deals... if anything, bring some business to his Uncle Yiannis.  Joyce is a little tipsy at this point, with a 20 hr flight and several glasses of wine. We decide it’s time to unpack, unwind, and lie down for a bit before heading out to the Acropolis and Temple of Zeus.  Not before, of course, we head down to the Athens street market where we can get some gyros and kebabs. Ha!!!

My mouth is watering just thinking about it. So I’ll stop here... will pick up later after our tour and we make it back in time for our Athenian Volcanic Ash Mud Bath and Massage. Ohhhh yeahhhh....

(Sigh... if only COVID never happened)

For better or worse

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 147

Approximately 15 years ago... I made a vow in front of God and man that I will stand with my wife.. for better or worse. And today... I broke that vow.  

It's been over a month since Joyce and NN had a blow up... but it happened today.  And once it happened... I made a choice, a wrong choice.  After their initial fight, which I dutifully stood non-partisan, I strongly suggested that the parent reach out to the child in hopes of peace.  Well... that didn't happen.  What happened was a bigger blow-up than the initial squabble.  I was so pissed.  So pissed that I threw the ...... and smashed it to the sink.  The echoes of my action is still ringing in my ears right now.

The results... a sobbing, weeping tweenage daughter.  And worst yet.... a wife who sits watching Netflix, deflated, defeated, in shambles.  Today... I chose something else other than my wife.  I chose my daughter.  Not with my words but with my actions...of which.... I will regret for the rest of my days.

There I saw... the love of my life... my mate... my best friend... hopeless... full of shame... too hurt to even cry.  And me... the man who once vowed to stand beside her in all circumstances... betraying her.  Breaking my vows.  In good times and in bad... I chose the easy way out.

I'm shamed.  I'm humiliated.  I'm..... a sinful man.  And I.... today... broke my vows to God and man.  I'm sorry Hunny.  I apologized... but it was too late. 

"Hello!" "Hello!"

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 110    

Enduring hardships together.  Sharing a credit card or bank account.  Obviously being parents. But something that's overlooked when talking about a strong relationship is to be able to share a heavy dose of laughter.  Such was the case today... when I was once again VSA-ing for something to watch.  And on Hulu... I found one of my childhood faves - Perfect Strangers.

I started with the infamous episode where Larry has temporary amnesia and he has to meet Jennifer's mom for the first time.  And the scene where Anderson and I would repeat over and over again.  Strangely enough, Joyce never watched it while growing up in America.  And today... she finally got a dose of what got me through life for a good 4-5 years (6-7 years if you include syndication).  I was actually surprised that she was laughing so hard.... to a point where she's singing the theme song and now repeating those very sacred lines.  We ended up binging on the first season - with 7 more seasons to go.  Even the kids are into this mindless, family oriented comedy.  

"Hello!"

"Hello!"

"My name is Cousin Larry Appleton!"

"Hello! My name is Cousin Larry Appleton."

"How are you?"

"Fine." 

Once in a blue moon

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 89

Yesterday... Joyce led our little Bible Study session. After 15+years at SJCAC... this is notably the 2nd time she's led a study.  She pushed back.  She came up with excuses.  She found every reason to not do it.  But for whatever reason... she pulled it off.  Not only did she pull it off... she had command of the entire study.  She managed time ohhh soooo well.  And lookie here... she was prepared and ready.  Her dedication to the Word is so real, so intense, you can feel it.  You can see it.  You can hear it.  

Unlike those other so-called leaders who half-@$$es it... gets by... and pats himself on the back.  You can see right through those people.. and you just shake your head.   And like all studies... at the end of the day... it's really between you and Jesus.  So in love... so so in love. 😍

The unspeakable truth...

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 62

Front line workers get the love - much deserved.

Essential workers get the respect - much deserved.

Teachers and educators approval rate are soaring - much deserved.

Moms/wives are keeping the family together through working/home-making/home-schooling - VERY much deserved.

But not once.... not ONCE... have I heard anyone compliment on the husbands pitching in. 

"SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY BROS FOR ALSO HOLDING THIS TOGETHER!!!"

Meh... no one really cares.  Heh... 

Happy Mother's Day

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 55

Drove out to the city to see Mom today and deliver her some premade, unfinished tacos, some staples and a container of 花膠湯.  Actually noticed she was genuinely moved when she saw the taco meat, taco shells and fixings.  Within minutes of driving away... she texted us saying downed 3 already.  A few minutes later... she gobbled down a fourth one after adding some pickled ginger.  

In return... she gave us some canned foods and an eerie looking plant which has successfully made its way to our front porch.   

Also visited dad and give him some soup.  He didn't need any of the staples...which is almost expected.  Dad also got us stuff... since he heard big bro was coming up.  He gave us some buns and BBQ pork.... only to find out later that big bro got BBQ pork and a roast duck.  Hmm.... favoritism?? Nah.... 

We pre-ordered and had some dim sum delivered to MIL.  When we stopped by during lunch to have a social distancing lunch... they said they polished off all the dim sum and were full.  We ended up hanging out with Gracie under a shaded area outside and chatted over a glass of vino.  

Got home... and I was tired.  Haven't driven so long in a while... my body wasn't use to it.  

At night... we had a little "indoor picnic."  The kids thoroughly enjoyed sitting on the floor and eating off of paper plates and plastic forks.  

When this was all said and done... the one person we forgot to "celebrate" was NN and SW's mom.  Oops!!  Oh well... every day is Mother's Day, right??? 

Braving the storm

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 41

Joyce says we haven't been documenting our SIP with pictures. 10-15 years from now... or even 10-15 weeks from now... we're going to forget what we went through. 

Not since the Saturday before SIP was officially in place have we gone shopping.  This time... we braved the storm and headed to Target with one goal in mind - finding a giant Squish-Mallow for SW's upcoming birthday.  Not only did we find it... we also found a bunch of snacks, junk food, TOILET PAPER!!!! Oh... and a case of beer.  Heh...  

Ended up not getting the TP... it was $1 / roll.  But how do you really value TP?? Thickness of roll? Overall length? Roughness? Softness?  Regardless... the main point is... if I am to brave Armageddon with anyone... I have that person right by my side. 

年年有今日？

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 39

又一年、又大一歲。原本今年結婚十五週年，可以去Cruise. 結果、生日竟然以食外賣為焦點。兩個寶貝都好識做、今日特別乖。囡囡整咗個蛋糕比媽媽、又有卡又有禮物，有得同外家Zoom, 之後仲同班靚媽Zoom.

其實大家都好忙，要佢哋抽一個鐘頭時間出嚟認真唔話得。誠心多謝咁多位好姊妹令到我老婆笑得咁開心。 

走錯成功路 - Week 1

With everything that happened... that came together... that fell apart.  The one thing that stands out among all (for me)... Joyce did translation.  Imagine that.  I can't.  God is good.  God is amazing.  I'm soooo in love.

欲窮千里目

Was offered a job today at work... internal transfer.  Back to design, production, delivery.  I'm enjoying what I do now... but how I long to go back to delivering hardware.  So many things crossed my mind... the pros and cons... the wins and losses... the victories and defeats... the past, the present, the future.... what I WANT vs what I NEED....  Was restless the entire day.  Just couldn't concentrate on any one task.

Got home...and shared with Joyce my latest angst.  Her immediate physical reaction already gave me the answer.  But nothing prepared me for her verbal response.

"You keep wanting to go back to hardware.  Well... I don't.  When you were doing hardware. You were not good to us." 

We both started tearing up.  Really?? Was I really that bad of a husband? That bad of a father?  Nothing mattered at that moment.  No job. No promotion. No future. No retirement.  What mattered... was my wife, stood in front me, hurt once again.

"人若賺得全世界，卻喪了自己、賠上自己，有什麼益處呢" ~路加福音 9:25

Mood: 悔

破•天•荒

Broke new ground... paved new paths... conquered new mountains tonight.

I don't even remember the last time Joyce went... let alone having her play the piano while I led... Prayer Meeting.  So different to have that extra 5 - 10 minutes of going through the rundown and practicing.  Will have to go back to the pre-Nn days when we led worship once with Joseph fellowship.  Or that one Christmas Sunday when I led worship (no guitar) and she was the pianist.

The thought of being able to serve on a worship team together. Wow... that's almost unfathomable.  I love my wife ohhhh soooo much.  Is this the building block of something new?? Only God knows....

Mood: romantic

The OTHER age old question...

For you married folks.... or living with someone and you share a tube of toothpaste, should you squeeze from the bottom? or the middle?

Well.... the answer for YOU is....100%, without a shadow of a doubt, the BOTTOM.  Why?????

See.... my wife squeezes from the middle.  And unlike me, who squeeze from the bottom, I can keep moving on up from the bottom until I get to the top.  In other words, there will always be a bottom.  But for she who squeezes from the middle, once she flattens it... she's done.

Hence, I realize that it is my job... to make sure she has a fat and chubby "middle" to squeeze every time she brushes her teeth.  Which means.... I squeeze from the bottom to enable her to have the full enjoyment of squeezing from the middle. That is why....as a loving husband... I am the ultimate giver.  And she's the ultimate receiver. :)


Now the "other" question....? Toilet paper over the top, or under the bottom? I'll save that for another post.

A Man's First Love and Your Future In-law

One of my close friends conspired in me that he's been having some marital problems between his wife and his mom.  This is probably one of the most common areas of friction in any marriage.  And as I was doing the dishes... inspiration started coming to me... leading me to document the following.

A Man's First Love and Your Future In-law

From the moment we are born... we've been loved unconditionally by our mother.  The first person to hold us, the first person to feed us, the first person to coo us to sleep.  They were there when we fell off our bikes, when we got our first B+ in math (ouch!), when we needed someone to drive us here or there.  For the average man that gets married at 30, there are 20+ cognizant years of your life that have us put our mom as the number one woman in our lives.

Asians are raised under Confuscianism of "忠孝仁義." Throughout our childhood, we are taught to sing "世上只有媽媽好."  Americans, likewise, offer Mothers as the dominant parent of honor.  Mother's Day this...Mother's day that.  In the 90's, before cell phones were prominent, the #1 thing that happens on Father's Day is long-distance phone calls... children didn't even bother buying a card or sending flowers.  Catholics are taught to worship Mother Mary.  Christians, Jews and even Muslims have the 10 Commandments drilled into us throughout our childhood - "Honor Thy Parents."  It isn't until we are young adults, perhaps college years, that we start studying Ephesians and Colossians and learning about "submitting to your husband" or "love your wife as God loved the church."  And even then, it's still scratching the surface.


Men are emotional creatures, contrary to popular belief.  Ask any Giants fan about 1962 or 2002... and see if you see a grown man weep?  Or walk into bar that is showing Manchester United playing Chelsea.... and I'll show you men hugging like there's no tomorrow.  But interestingly... it takes men a while to fall in love.  And it takes us a while to fall out of love.  If we are committed to a person, place or thing... we go all in.  And it's hard to pull ourselves out.

Now, how can wives even begin to expect their husbands to "leave your parents and be one with your wife" after 2-3 years of courtship, 2-3 months of pre-marital counseling and a set of vows?  The answer is... WE CAN'T.  Not that we don't want to... but we don't know how. 

So does that mean wives need to just step aside and wait another 20+ years till their husbands come around? No no no.  This is where the grace of God comes in.  It is in His will that you two are together.  And it is through His love, that we can love one another.  Without even getting into the theological definitions of eros and agape... I can summarize it that God will work wonders.  And wives - you must never stop praying for your husband.  Pray that he will continue to be a God fearing man...and a God loving man.  A man that loves God... will learn to love his wife.

It's taken me 5 paragraphs to describe the first four words of the title.  It'll take me one to finish it up.  Instead of waiting for the wife (or spouse, I should say) to pray for the other spouse... parents, start praying for your children now.  Pray that their future spouse will be that God fearing and God loving man.  Why wait until your son or daughter walk down the aisle and commit themselves to your future son or daughter in law.  Now's the time.

We always want the next generation to have it better than us.  If your parents weren't able to pray for your marriage throughout your life... you can make a difference in your children's lives.  Remember... learn to love God more, learn to receive His love... and He will faithfully reward you with more love to love your husband or wife.

-H. Leung

Just listen...

Here's some advice...  and not just for married couples.

If your spouse comes home and complains about this or that... just listen... and end it with, "Wow... that sucks." Don't even think about giving solutions.  Don't "try" to be helpful.  More importantly... don't even say s/he's wrong.  No no no.  Simply listen and let your spouse vent. 

The End.

Course... 1 out of 10 times, you could be wrong.  Like, "Man... the laundry is just piling up! The house is a mess."  Times like that, don't say, "Wow...that sucks."  No no no.