Behind the Wheel Training

A couple days ago... NN had her first behind the wheel training.  The first 2 of her minimum 6 hours before she can take the road test.  She came back all smiles and self-deprecating, which is fine and expected.  

Then today... when going to pick up SW from practice... I let her drive while riding on the driver side.  Gave her a few tips on braking, accelerating through turns, drifting... but goodness gracious... it was scary as heck!!!

I tried to act calm... knowing if I get frustrated or mad... she'll start getting frustrated and mad.  She's flustered.  She's not fully listening and comprehending.  I have to limit my words...cuz it'll overwhelm her.  She actually doesn't know all the driving laws and right of ways.  She definitely doesn't know etiquette or the unwritten rules.  In the end... she crashed out.  We all survived... on our very first trip around the block!!!

Woohoo!!! 

女大女世界

 During lunch... after a few days of dropping hints... NN finally came out and said she has a boyfriend now.  She's been teasing and teasing and now it's official.  And y'know... I'm actually ok with it. Did it fit all my criteria and qualifications...? Does it fit hers? Does it matter? 

Happy

Nn said she was very happy today. She was blissful if not in glee. Wonder what caused it? A resolution in friendship drama? A good grade? Or maybe her “boy friend not friend, but close friend” and her moved into the next phase? Geez…

Father Daughter Time in Japan

 1 of 2 posts dedicated specifically for my daughter after our Japan trip

In recent times… whenever we go on family vacation or tornaments, I no longer make the mistake of waking up and sit in the dark to wait for the fam. I get up… shower… and leave. Walk and go find a coffee bar to just chillax. To think. To plan. To journal. To read? There’s something magical or spiritual about that personal me time. Add on the hustle bustle of a family vacation and it’s almost a vacation on top of a vacation. The ala mode to the apple pie. The extra innings to a 1-1 tied baseball game.

But amazingly… during this trip… virtually every morning… NN would wake up early. And as she’s done with the restroom…and I go shower… she’s almost always ready to go. So every morning… for almost the entire trip.. we get to explore and walk the streets of Japan together.

The first day to Noem coffee… and it wasn’t even opened yet.

The second day to that mom and pop shop that offered a hardboiled egg and dry toast.

The third day to the Starbucks that was 20 minutes away…

Followed by the next day, Starbucks again, but Joyce wanting to join us.

Then in Tokyo… the two local pastierries….

And eventually… on the last day… to Tully’s.

We get back and the first couple of days I make coffee at home and unapologetically drank the entire French press by myself.   Then on Sunday… I went out to grab a donut for her and she texted, “hi” “wru” “Bahbee got coffee without me? 💔“

And like I told NN… one of the best moments of Japan. Getting coffee with my NNJ every morning. Exclusively just us. Those… very, very cherished moments in time.

Slipping Through My Fingers

Had a wonderful dream last night... we were in some home and Joyce tells me there's a spider in the bedroom.  I grab a slipper about to fulfill my husband and fatherly duty... when a 4 year old NN comes out and a 2 year old SW comes out and gives me a hug.  NN then repeats Momma and calls me 老公。 Then SW mimics NN and says the same thing... then gives off his signature SW chuckle.  I give the two of them a giant hug.   One of the best dreams I've had... in recent memory.

[Chorus]

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind?

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

40 Days of Prayer and Fasting

After a weeklong holiday full of tension and angst... we've decided to come together to pray and fast during our 40 Day Prayer Journey. 

Day 3... and we've settled to praying together after dinner at the dinner table. The kids don't resist... it's almost like those days when we prayed as a family during advent.

As for fasting...  SW is fasting Crash Royale.  NN is fasting Tik Tok, Youtube, IG, and her favorite game Rock Blast.  Joyce is fasting Royal Crush... a mobile game she's been playing for over 2 years.  And me....I'm fasting speeding.

Not even 6 hours into day one... NN started to regret overfasting.  And now on Day 3... they've re-neg'ed.  SW is now fasting social media but he can play Crash Royale.  NN still fasts Rock Blast... but she's changed her fasting to doom scrolling.  She can still watch long videos.  

Heh... let's see how long this lasts.  

My little girl is growing up...

 After a bout of senseless, meaningless, valueless infighting... NN and I sat down and discussed our differences.  She was quite mature... to a point where she asked for some time and space, wrote out her thoughts and read it to me in a calm manner.  At the end... I told her my thoughts and in summary... I see so much of me in her.  To a point, I don't want her to turn into me.  I don't want her to win every argument but lose the fight.  I don't want her to always be right.  I don't want her to ostracize those around her, even if it's by the rules.  My biggest fear for my little girl.... is she'll become like me. 

十三么？！

Never have I ever... but Nui nui 竟然食十三么！？

 

Why so serious??

An off the cuff comment about SW running for StuCo... and how he would flourish because he's very nonchalant actually became prophetic.  Later in the evening, we played Scattegories.  First of all... I crushed the entire family.  I may not be the fastest.  I may not have the best reaction time.  I suck at Clue, Catan, and other board games.  But when it comes to non-sensical creativity, I'm still king.  SW.... who has really come into his own... is actually moving up the ranks into 3rd if not 2nd.  In a family of 4.... if you come in 3rd or 4th... face it... you're coming in last.

At the end... it was boys vs girls... and while the boys were goofing around and having fun, the girls got pissed off at us for not being serious and worst off... winning.  We weren't cheating or anything... it's just how the chips fell.  Sigh... it's just a game? Why so serious?? (Says the dad who crashes out every time the Niners play)

Family Affair

Another one bites the dust... another checkmark or two off the bucket list. Worshipping not just with my wife... or my daughter... but both!!!  And to be on the worship team for Mission Conference.  That one is huge. Never in my wildest dream...  will see if things can keep up and I'll get to do Deeper Life also!! Haha..

I don't listen...?

One of the toughest part in being a parent of a club athlete... the drive home.

NN didn't have an exceptionally good day.  She didn't have a bad day.  But on a scale of 1-10... it's on the lower end of the scale with her stock trending down.  Not sure what it is with her play.  2 years since Tropical Touch... and she still doesn't hit as well as 14 year old Kelly or Devon.  Excuses... excuses... excuses.... but no breakthrough.  I've tried.  Numerous coaches have tried.  And we still can't figure it out. 

I already knew it wasn't a good time to bring up any "suggestions" or "critiques."  It was... play the "I agree" card.  But when she started talking about her elevation and how she isn't getting her height... I carefully (and regretfully) agreed.  I started by saying she wasn't exploding cuz the sets weren't there.  Then I said... from my vantage point... it was just her hands over the net.  Either she's just jumping with her ankles/calves.... or she's not using her quads.... or she's not getting the timing. 

But that spiraled into a "all I have is my elevation... without that... I have nothing."  And it continued to go downhill from there.  She says I'm not listening.  I told her I was agreeing with her.  Then she said she doesn't want me to go to another game again.  (I paused.). "Really??"  "Not if we end up fighting like this."  I said, "Fine."  Door slammed prominently in my face.  And even though I know she doesn't mean it... deep down... there's probably some truth to it.   It's almost like... "You don't support me?? I don't want you in my life!"

This is so stupid.  I agree with her.  And I get in trouble.  I try to be supportive.  And I get called out for raining on her parade and not understanding her.  It must've been my travel... where I'm still recovering from lack of sleep.  Or from waking up early and being at a tournament all day.  I was tired.  My guard was down.  I wasn't filtered.  And I chose not to back down.  "No... I'm not taking the fall for this.  You asked for my thoughts and I gave you my observation.  If it's not the truth... fine."  

I didn't want us to go to bed angry.... or at least... didn't want the sun go down in anger.  So I did the adult/fatherly thing, walked into her room, and apologized for what happened.  She wasn't ready to talk and I don't blame her.  These things take time... and it's not like they're all 100% going to be done by sun going down.  We shall see.... 

Sigh... to be a father. 

Painful realities - NN version

 The reality is... both my kids are not physically built for volleyball... the one competitive sport they love.

NN has always been an overachiever.  Not entirely gifted in anyone one thing, but just excelled due to natural talent.  Whether it was academics, arts, sports... she never had trouble with anything.  Joyce and I even had discussions of how we want her to trip over a hurdle or two... and be humbled in life.  That not everything is smooth sailing... and how sometimes, hardwork itself won't be enough.  How dare any parents wish that onto their children.

Slowly, her natural talents stalled while her friends moved onto the next level through training and hardwork... and being unequivocally tall.  You can't train height.  You just are. 

After two years of stress and relief... NN opted to go the non-competitive route and not deal with the unknown.  She had an offer in hand and she stuck with it.  Her new coach kept glazing her at tryouts and she fell for it.  Even though deep down... she wanted to tryout for the more coveted clubs and possibly make it as a DS or Lib... she thought otherwise.  Not worth it.  Regrets? Probably.  

Then it came time for TKA tryouts... something she was suppose to make for sure, because last year, the coach saved a spot for her.  But it's a new coach this year.  All the old promises were forgotten and she had to start from scratch.  Throughout summer... she was suppose to work on her legs and core.  Did she?? Questionable.  She keeps saying she has elevation and ups.... for her height, yes.  But against naturally tall girls, she can barely keep up.  And whatever bad habits she's built over the years... they're sticking out like a sore thumb.  

First day of tryouts... those that are tall and put in the hard work got offers right away.  NN had the whole weekend to sulk about it and hopefully buckle down and get locked in.  Day two of tryouts roll around... we pick her up... hoping to see a big smile... all we got was her shaking her head.  "I did so bad today."  And the rest of the night... the whole family kept scrolling and updating our phones, waiting for the announcement.  It wasn't until 10PM... we finally got the email.  

The coach originally wanted 12 players... NN made it as player #14.  She eek'ed by the skin of her teeth.  Probably because she knew the assistant coach.  Probably because she actually does have talent (despite the height).  Probably because she's a Jr that will get to play next year as a a Sr.  And probably because... divine intervention?  

Who knows.  But she has no where to go but up.  She has to claw and scratch and do whatever it takes to earn playtime.  Serving.  Defense. Diving.  Digging.  Every moment you get... you have to show you deserve to be out there.  Make it hard for the coach to bench you.  And maybe.... this will be that hurdle you trip on... but eventually, leap over.  With the culmination of bringing all glory and honor to our Lord and Savior.... 

Day of Reckoning

Today I came clean.

Dance Showcase - Showtime

 Annual dance showcase… and once again… NN’s class dominated.  There’s good… and there’s not so good.  And then, there’s simply great.  NN has always stood out as a dancer.  Ever since she was dancing for Arrows in the Christmas Performances, her natural abilities outshone her peers.  Throughout the years at TKA… her class would somehow end up with the best numbers.  This year was no exception.  And even in an off year… where I think the dance teacher is out of ideas or low on creative juice or distracted.   NN… ever having a chip on her shoulder for being overlooked or typecasted as the smaller, cute Asian, was given some major prominent roles this time.  NN sometimes wonders… how far she would go had we put her in formal training.  Forget regrets… or life is yours to miss. 

Talking talking talking

 Day 2 of NN’s last tournament of the season (that she can attend).  She already missed day 1 cuz of her AP exam. I hinted we can avoid the 2 hour drive… but she insisted.  I had a bunch of podcasts and songs prepared.  And then… we started talking and talking and talking some more.  She threw out memes about Trump and the Trade Wars, but everything she said lacked critical thinking of research.  I started explaining to her some of the math and data behind what was happening.  She was flabbergasted at how the world is shaped… how unfair the world is.  The talk then moved to relationships… family history… I gave her my view of recycling.  My pet peeves.  My view of church and religion.  At times, she got upset at me for making a hot take and being argumentative.  I didn’t take the bait… I simply explained how I can easily argue the other way, and probably win the argument.  But the point wasn’t to win… but to understand all sides… and make an informed decision, instead of believing what social media tells you in an IG short.  After a frustrating day on the courts… we grabbed a quick bite… picked up a Dutch Bros… and started on a 2 hour drive home.  And once again… we talked, talked, talked.  Didn’t even need to play any of the podcasts. 

 As much as I complain about these club trips… I truly, madly, deeply cherish every single one of these moments… these moments in time.

Of little patience

 NN had her Life Conference car wash fund raising and I dropped her in the morning… thinking I can get my car washed also.  I was the first car there… but they were still setting up on the basketball courts so I parked on the side and waited for the markers or traffic directors.  10 minutes before they opened for business…this lady drives onto the basketball court… going the opposite way I would’ve expected the car wash queue to go.  But the Youth Leaders didn’t correct her.  They started washing her car.  Pretty soon… a second car came.  And a third.  All facing… what I consider… the wrong direction.  Whatever…  they’ll regret it later.  Lemme get in line…. I was 4^th. 

 I brought my laptop with me and sat on the side to do work.  But after a long time of waiting… and seeing people who came after me already leaving… I got curious.  What was taking so long??? OMG…. What a friggin disaster.  No order.  No process.  No line.  Cars were now parked facing in two directions.  My car was not even touched.  There was one person spraying with water…. And about 10 youths who’ll jump onto soap the car.  Then those same 10 youth will walk over to dry the car.  Then they’ll vacuum the car.  So inefficient.  So impractical. 

 NN saw me… and told me that I should go to lunch and come back.  I looked at her in bewilderment.  No!! I got here 4^th… I should leave 4^th.  Her excuse was… some cars that came late have to leave.  Ok… we’re a Christian organization.  I get it that some people have a schedule to maintain… but still, how about maintain the integrity of order.  I made an audible gasp… and started talking loudly to people that were also waiting… saying how long I’ve waited.  I loudly say… “I don’t need to get it washed… I’ll just donate and leave.”  Making sure the other Youth Leaders heard me.  And making sure everyone knew I was annoyed.

 I was now standing there staring the Youth leader down.  Poor guy.  He was overwhelmed.  He was spraying cars down.  Moving cars out of the way.  Giving directions to his crew.  He bit off more than he can chew.  And with the 3^rd and 4^th car still sitting there… he walks over and starts spraying down a later coming mini-van.  The owner of the van was next to me…  and I lose it.   I call out to the other Youth Leader and say, “Can my car be next?”  Preposterous!!!

 After the wash… which I will say, was done fairly well… they still needed to vacuum.  NN said, “It’ll be another 45 minutes.” And she probably wasn’t wrong… so I told the Youth Leader… “I don’t need a vacuum.  Here’s my donation.  Thanks!!”  And I drove off and leave.  As I was leaving… I hear NN talk to that Youth leader within earshot… “My dad needs to have more patience.”   I was gonna get out of the car and make a scene…. But decided to swallow it and just let it be. 

 Patience my @$$.  This was utter buffoonery. 

 

Safe and Sound

 Got a text from NN... "Tornado and flood warnings."

Then another text... "We're stuck!"

Followed by... "We got Dutch Bros."

I sorta kinda made light of the situation.  When I caught up with the news... little did I know how dangerous the situation actually was.  Flash flooding all over southern Texas with the heart of the storm being about 40 minutes away from where they stayed.

Her description, upon returning, was much more doom and gloom than, "We got Dutch Bros."  which at the time... made us think everything was fine and dandy.  Fish-tailing. Hydro-planing. Going 10 mph.  Sheet of white on the windshield. Seeking cover at a Canes. Finally.. taking sanctuary at a Costco. 

When you send your kids out to the real world... let alone the Mission field... you gotta be prepared be for anything and trust in the Lord for everything. 

God bless our brothers and sisters that were at Mynamar this past week. 

重出江湖

 After a 10 month hiatus… I’m back drumming on a worship team. But to make it so much more special… serving alongside me as a vocalist is my Nui Nui Ju.

There were some kinks… NGL… we had 40 minutes of practice and I was so raw… especially the third 6/8 song where during practice, I was completely lost. But thankfully… it all came together in time for a wonderful, spiritful worship session. 

Thank you Jesus!!!

Worst Nightmare

What is your worst nightmare????

I'll give you one.... how about watching your child injure themselves on the court/field... and then lay motionless for minutes which equates to eternity.  Thankfully (PRAISE GOD!!) she walked off on her own power. 

女大女世界

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