William Chan

 When the aunts from Macau and Vancouver visited... every where we took them... they'd want to look for "William Chan" aka "Water Closet" aka the bathroom.  When Nita and Brandon visited this week... everywhere we went... we looked to unload a few ounces and pay our water bills.  We are now... them. 

Bathroom Jabbers - Lost in the City

Bathroom Jabbers are BACK!! This time... I found myself in desperate need of taking a leak in the city of San Francisco.  My bad for downing an energy drink... without having a clear plan of an establishment in which I can relieve myself.

So I found myself in the streets of the Sunset District in San Francisco.  I parked... bought my pineapple buns... returned to the car and had a moment of decision.  Do I drive to find a public bathroom? Or do I roam the streets in hopes of finding a restaurant, Starbucks, teashop, to do my thang.  I opted for the latter.  

As I traversed the Irving Street... there was nothing available for me to drop-in.  Went about 5 blocks one way... then had to turn back.  There was a sports bar that was kinda rowdy... but didn't want to get dirty looks.  There was a restaurant that explicitly says, "No Public Restroom.  Don't Even Ask."  In finally made it back to where I started and found a chinese bakery.  The cashier was busy with a customer so I danced around the corner to where the bathroom is... only to see a sign "Out of Service."  Darn!!!  

Was out of options... I had to drive to a local church or a gas station... or maybe google "Restroom" and see what comes up.  Lo and behold... 2 blocks away was a park with a restroom.  Of course!! Public parks!!  So I ran tot he car... busted a U-wee... scadaddled through traffic.... almost ran over a little boy on his bike... and voila... here I was.  

This time... I made sure the entrance said "Men." 

This time... I made sure there were... uh... urinals.  

This time... I took my time and let it splash and flow.  Ahhhhhhhh..... relief never felt sweeter. 
 

An honest mistake

Was hurrying to a team potluck at the atrium... and really needed to go pee.  So I rushed to the bathroom on the 1st floor to relieve myself.  That bathroom has always been a bit strange.  There are two general openings with sinks on both sides of the wall when you walk into the 'outer' bathroom.  Only for you to pick two doors before going to the 'inner' bathrooms.  

I pushed through the door and was met with a bathroom... with no urinals!!  Maybe it's like those airport bathrooms where the urinals are on the other side of the wall... nope.  No worries... LM is weird like that.  I pop into the first available stall and start paying the water bills - ahhhhhh..... until all of a sudden... it occurred to me.  Wait.  Did I check the sign on the door?? 

What if..... this isn't the Men's Room!?!?!?!?

I look down at the door.... the stall doors go the bottom of the floor.  Thank gawd!!! People can't see my feet are facing the toilet.  Immediately I thought... I need to get out.  But I'm in the midst of watering the plants... I can't just stop.  Out of the corner of my ear.... I ear from the far side of the facility a light, silent tinkle. Sh*t!!! Someone is in here.  And the noise they're making is but a trickle... and here I am... pouring out from my loins.  Creating splish and splash and echoes.  I need to quiet down.

So I try to slow the flow, as they say, and I squeeze my urethra muscle... only to make things worse in forcing more out.  Now splish and splash has become a full spitter and spatter!! I normally try to aim for the "hole" and collect as much as I can in the bowl.  But the aftereffects are anything but... north, east, south, west.... the downpour is leaving a mark everywhere.  And I am the embodiment of every stereotype against men and our poor aim. 

I need to get out of here.  But need to flip to ninja mode.  No one can see me.  What if I get caught?!?!?!

• My pronouns are They/Them!!!
• Diversity and Inclusion.
• It's an honest mistake.
• the SJSU Volleyball Team that's been winning by forfeit.

A surge of thoughts rush through my mind as I think of an exit plan... to get off the stage... to dodge being labelled as a pervert.  

I'm listening... has the door opened? Has my colleague on the other side of the facility gotten out yet? Do I wait for her to leave? I hesitated... but she's not moving.  Probably on her phone or something... 

It's time to go.  Time to run.  Time to GTFO of there!!!!  I look down... and it's a mess.  Droplets everywhere.  The toilet seat is us.  This isn't new... happens all the time at home... and I aptly clean after myself.  But no time now.  I can be anywhere... BUT HERE!!!!  

I flush.  

Bust through the door.

Give a courtesy rush of water over my hands.

Grab a paper towel.

And out of the corner of my eye.... and the far end of the room 6 sinks away... I see a basket of feminine hygiene products.  Where was that a few minutes ago?!?! I didn't see it!!! Why didn't they put it by the door so folks like me won't actually be like me.

Crashed through the big wooden door... and there it was... bright as day.  A sign that says "WOMEN." 

Hey... no one saw.  Maybe someone heard and suspected.  It was nothing... but an honest mistake. 

Super Mario Brother

In all my years of renting and home-ownership... I've dealt with numerous plumbing problems, but not the classic clogged toilet.  Until today.  I had the pleasure of using a tried and true plunger to force my way through a sh*tty situation.  Ha.... and it worked like a charm.  I told the kids... it's either a face wipe... or a pad.  Something got stuck.  And boy did it feel good when the water started flowing again... ahhhhhh... sweet relief.

A $5 solution

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 62

For the past, I don't know how many months, my toilet has been hissing.  A quick search on the internet showed that the culprit is a worn out washer in the fill valve - the stem where water shoots in.  But my fill valve happens to not be showcased in any of the articles or DIY videos and the manufacturing has nothing on that valve - it's discontinued (more on that later). So since I can't replace the valve... I went to replace the entire thing.  Saturday... I bit the bullet and decided and bought two new fill valves... since both toilets were hissing.

Only to find out that the nut holding the valve to the toilet is a specialized hexagon valve that's over an inch in diameter.  I have nothing that can remove it.  On top of that.. the nut is on the end closest to the wall.. and there's literally no space for me to sneak my body in, let along a tool, let alone have any leverage for torquing.  I texted everyone asking for a tool... and my neighbor lent me his full arsenal.  Great guy... but none of the tool worked.  I needed a rudimentary hexagonal socket... one which I once had when I replaced my kitchen sink faucet.  No idea where it is.

After hours of twisting and turning... I threw in the towel.  Went to Home Depot (for the 2nd time) to pick up a set of sockets. $20. BAM!!! Worked liked a charm.  The nut came right off with the right tool (which I think is the key to being a good plumber, btw).  I was so happy... replaced everything and was ready to declare victory.  5 minutes after changing the valve...... the hissing came back.  

Dang it.  Something else was happening.  By now... I've read so many articles and papers on toilets, I was a downright expert.  I turned the water inlet off...and the water level continued to drop.  Which was causing the hissing...because the fill valve is trying to compensate for the fall... aka... hysteresis... aka... motorboating.  The water drops, the valve opens, water comes out little by little... HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.....

I tried the food color test.  But nothing was falling into the bowl!!! So it can't be the flapper. Which meant one thing... as validated by dozens of articles... take the darn toilet apart and replace the flush valve.  I had two more options to test before diving that deep.  Remove the bidet... which coincidentally... was around the time when the hissing started.  Or replace the flapper - which can't be the cause cuz the colored water was not falling from the tank to the bowl.  Examining the flapper... it was still in decent condition.  

Sunday morning before service started, I even skipped TWA, and I inched back into that crevice to remove the bidet.  Was hoping it wasn't the root cause... cuz we all love the bidet.  But needed to check the check mark.  And indeed... it wasn't it.  Water level kept dropping.  Last gasp before going full out and replacing the flush valve.... head to Home Depot and get a flapper.  Why not.  It's a 2 minute change... and costed me $5.  Third trip to Home Depot.  

After I got home... had lunch... started prepping for bible study while watching the Niners kick @$$.  And gosh darnit.... the hissing stopped.  It was the flapper afterall.  All those articles I read... that's always the first thing they recommend.  But I skip it and opt for the harder solution.  Cuz really... it can't be that simple, right???

So after it was all said and done... what took me 4 trips total to the Home Depot... ended up being a $5 solution.  No wonder Mario ended up with Princess Peach.  For someone to charge up the wazoo for such simple solutions... of course he gets the girl.  As for me... I found my Princess Peach.   Joyce was supportive every step of the way.  And she made that 4th and final trip to Home Depot when I was busy with everything else.  

As for the obsolete... no one uses ever fill valve that I have... well I'll be darned.  It's the exact same one that AM has.  *shrug*

When stars misaligned

This may have happened 1 other time in my entire life.  I was peeing today... and all of a sudden, I needed to sneeze!  It was a blur after.  I don't know what I ended up doing.  I was in the middle of a phat piss... so you can't just stop, like a water faucet.  If it flows...it goes.  So I tried to sneeze as gentle as possible... to exert as little force as possible to not disrupt the lower body.  I think I stopped peeing momentarily to ready myself for the sudden gush of air out of my nose.  But when you sneeze, your abdomen naturally flexes and pushes things outward... and things start coming out of any and all orifices.  Now that I think about it.. I'm kinda glad that pee didn't come out of my nose.

Hmm... I wonder if other people have blogged about this.  Maybe there's a name to this phenomenon.  Sneeze + pee = "snpeeze."    Pee + sneeze = "pneeze."  I'll work on it...

A breath of fresh air...

There’s been a major change at work recently. I walk into the men’s room... and omg... it smells “fresh!!” Almost like walking into a Ladies Room. (Heh...) Turns out, we’ve installed a bunch of air fresheners in there - including each stall!!!!  Underneath each TP dispenser is a motion activated air freshener. I’m mildly amused... and highly appreciative.

Oh... and another year... Kinda puts things into perspective, aside from family, how many people sent me a message.  Can count them all on one hand.. 

“我赤身出於母胎， 也必赤身歸去。 

賞賜的是耶和華，收回的也是耶和華； 

耶和華的名是應當稱頌的。” 

~約伯記‬ ‭1:21‬ ‭CNV‬‬

To flush or not to flush...?

If you were to walk into a stall and see a bowl full of stuff... would you flush it? Or would you move onto the next available stall?

One time, I tried to be the Good Samaritan... and what ended up happening was, I caused an overflow to which the person in the adjacent stall had his shoes...baptized.  (I know... I know... Ewwwww).
Since then... I've always moved on and let the janitors take care of things.

Today... I encountered the same situation and asked Geoff and Anderson what they would do.  Anderson so aptly pointed out that there should be a drain in each stall... and all the drains should prevent any baptism from happening.  Wow!! I never noticed that!!

Now I have to go audit every stall in my building to take inventory of drains and grates!!

******************************
UPDATE SINCE ORIGINAL POST
*****************************
Did a sampling audit... nope. The stalls share one drain.  And the urinals share a drain also. 


Mood: inquisitive

Ergonomically Correct

All the other stalls were occupied in the Men's Room today... so I ended up using a handicapped friendly stall.  Ohhhhhhh I don't think I can go back!!

The handicapped toilet is much higher.  Which means I don't have to squat anymore... I'm sitting at MY comfort level.  And if I sit comfortably... everything else simply flows more comfortably.  I don't think I can ever go back!!

(Return of the Bathroom Jabbers)

Mood: Ahhhh... (sigh of comfort)

HE DID IT!! AND WE'RE DONE!!

It's official!! Siu Wah is diaper free!!

It clicked. It simply clicked.  I can't say we didn't force him... cuz there were times we had to give him some "tuff-love."  But the little guy is sleeping dry.... in his undies.  Phew.....

Still trying to train him to harness his spray.  He enjoys the sound of water splashing and the tinkling towards the end. But he's still not too decent with the aim.  Naturally, he liked to stick his butt out - which meant the final drops of pee will fall on his pants.  So I had to teach him to stick his pelvis out - to ensure every last drop falls in the bowl.

And thus begins the scariest few weeks of them all....the times when he's no longer in diapers... and we have to, first, TRUST him to tell us when he needs to go.  And second.... pray for a clean, usable bathroom when he does tell us.

Good job son!! I think you've just made my year....

Stand up for yourself!

There comes a time in life... when you have to stand up for yourself.  That time came this Saturday for Siu-Wah.... and boy was it stressful.

Saturday morning.. .we decided he must stand up and pee.  No more sitting down!! Pull down the pants... aim... shoot!!  How hard can it be?!  I begged... I scolded... I bribed.  Nothing.  He just couldn't do it.  At the very end... I was on the verge of yelling before he squeezed a few drops. 

Ohhhhh.... the ends don't justify the means.  And I felt like crap.

Later that day... we were at the Great Mall doing some Christmas shopping.  SW screams "Pee-pee!" Quickly grabbed the little guy and ran to the men's room.  And surprise surprise... all four stalls were occupied.  And all four of the men took FOREVER!!!!!  What the heck were they doing in there!?!?  There was an old man standing in line in front of me holding a toddler.  Did he offer me the stall that opened up!?  Nope.  He went right in there and did this thang....

There were urinals opening up. 

SW needed to go!

I had to decide.  Do I give up my space in line and try SW in the urinals?!  What if he doesn't go in the urinals??? Then I'll have to get back in line for the stalls!!

Tic-toc-tic-toc..... time was ticking.  And SW needed to pee.  What to do?! What to do?!

FINALLY!!! A stall opens up.... I quickly run in.  The teenage boy walks out but doesn't flush. Jerk!  So I flush... only to see the dang toilet flood.

I make a quick u-turn... trying to get back in line.  And I see the stall next door open up... PERFECT!!!  Oh.... but the guy behind me didn't care.  He snuck right in.  Didn't give me the time of day.

I was stuck... no where to go but back into a flooding toilet.  Or.... give the urinal a try.

And boy did that training come in handy.  At least... he's done it all, but ONCE.

Took him to the urinal... he was too short!! What do I do? How do I hold him?? How do I coax him to pee? Do I yell at him in public? Does he even understand what's going on?

I pull down his pants and undies....  lift him up and dangle his legs.  Poor guy has no idea what's going on.  In my most loving voice... I ask, "Siu-Wah... pee pee la."  He's lost.  He's confused.  He's intrigued by the entire ordeal.  What's this thing we're standing in front of???

My back in killing me.  I start to sweat.  My arms are tired.  And the little munchkin can only say, "No pee-pee."  He hates it.  He needs to sit in his red potty at home.  He needs the comfort of gravity on his bum-bum.  Not dangling legs... not bah-bee's hands squeezing his armpits.

A million thoughts cross my mind.  Do I have any diapers with us? Do we have a change of clothes? Goodness... we're at the mall... we can just buy another set of clothes!!  Who cares if he wets himself.

So I pull up his pants.... I can't do this.  I can't do this to my son.  Simply can't force someone to pee if they don't want to.  I turn around and start walking out when my spirit of competitiveness kicks in.  I WON'T GIVE UP!!! NO!!!

Turn around and face the urinal again.  Go through the whole ordeal again.  Undo his pants and undies.  Lift him up.  Dangle his legs.  Beg.  Coax.  Bribe..... sweat POURING down my neck.  Still dry as the Sahara.

The heck with it....  not worth it.  When all of a sudden..... SW starts giggling.  He giggles.  He's smiling.  He's looking down... he's pointing, pointing at the stream arcing to the bottom of the porcelain bowl.

OH MY GOODNESS!!! HE'S DOING IT!!!

Couldn't have timed that morning training session any better.... huh???  

Return of the Bathroom Jabbers - Fish out of the water

Months of hard work in potty training.. Nui-nui is finally starting to tell us when she needs to go pee pee.  And with Joyce being unable to bend down to help... Nui-nui defaults to having to use....oh yes.... the men's room.  (Ewwwwww....)

First of all.... yes.  Men's room are digusting. Even men will tend to avoid using the men's room if possible.  I'll save that for another post. 

Nui-nui is 22 months.  She's young and naive, but she's not stupid.  Immediately after seeing the men's stall... it cuts off one's desire to empty out.  So poor dad has to go through the entire ritual of sanitizing the entire toilet. 

After a few minutes of begging.... she finally pees.  As she slides off the toilet seat onto the floor, I suddenly realize that it's an automatic flush toilet.  She instinctively starts walking away, but poor me, I'm still crouching by the toilet and as the water flushes... SPLASH!.... right onto my face. 

I'll leave this part short.... cuz it really is too hard to verbalize.  I've done my part in changing Nui-nui's diapers with her lying down.  But to this day, I still have no clue how a girl wipes.  I grab a big wad of TP and go through the motions.  She doesn't know any better...right?

Then there's the inevitable putting back ON the diaper.  Nui-nui is barely two feet tall, which means I have to crouch down.  After crouching down for a few minutes to coax her to pee.... and now having to struggle to put the diaper back on.... my legs get tired.  And as gravity takes over.... my knee slowly collapses and I go from a crouch, to one knee down. And within seconds.... my knee feels moist.  Goodness......  I forget it's the men's room.

Ahhh....fatherhood.  It's not just the fish that's out of the water....

Bathroom Jabbers in the Air

沒有Egg nog latte 的日子. 第134日. 晴

There comes a time in when chefs no longer want to cook... artists no longer want to paint... pastors no longer want to preach... and bloggers no longer want to blog. It's been a few weeks since I've had the urge to publish anything into cyberspace for all 3 of you to read. (I'm talking about my die-hard fans. Yeah.. I know who you guys are. Thank you for your support.) I have a few drafts... but haven't had the desire to put the cherry on top of it... until today. Ahh.... to pave my way of returning to the blogging world... fittingly enough.... Bathroom Jabbers.

Inspired to blog from the article where a man sues JetBlue for making him sit on the toilet for more than 3 hours during a flight from New York to San Diego!!

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2008-05-12-sue-jet-blue_N.htm

The question comes... why don't airplanes have seatbelts for toilet? During a 90 minute flight, on average, the toilet is probably occupied for a good 45 minutes, right? If it's a cross-Atlantic flight of 14 hours, then a good 7 hours you have someone sitting (or standing, mind you) in the bathroom. Now how hard would it be to install seatbelts? Maybe airlines are afraid that once they have seatbelts, people will actually enjoy sitting in there instead of their Economy class seats -- be it there's more leg room in the bathrooms.

Here's a picture of the lavatory on Air Force One on display in Seattle's Flight Museum. Specially designed for Jackie-O... so you know it's gotta be good. This is for the First Lady... if anyone deserved a nice toilet or had the power to ask for a nice toilet, it would be Jackie-O. Look at it... how is it different from ours today? Remember, this was during the 60's. And look at us now... we have made zero progress in terms of lavatory comfort.

And how about that sucking mechansim in the toilet? Are you not afraid that if you stand too close to it... the hole can literally suck you INTO the TOILET?!? I've easily flown in over 500 flights (probably peanuts compared to many other people). But of the times I've been on a flight, I've never heard of it clogging. Maybe I'm just lucky... or maybe that's why airlines serve high-fiber snacks. Gotta keep the packages nice and steady. But if any science teacher wanted to educate their students on the Black Hole or a vaccum or an entity with so much gravitational power light can't escape... point them to an airplane toilet. But don't point too close.. otherwise you'll get sucked in...

I'm tired... maybe next time, I can elaborate on the sink and how the water in the sink NEVER goes down the hole but the toilet sucks in everything in its path. Or how you want to wash your hands and you only get drips of "questionable" water coming out the faucet. Until then... you are now free to move around your toilets.

Bathroom Jabbers

沒有 Egg nog latte 的日子. 第53日. 　雨

For whatever reason, I didn't gel my hair today. And as I was washing my hands, I look into the mirror and saw.....on the top of my head.... there it was..... standing there looking at me.... glaring straight into my eyes..... taunting me... mocking me.... laughing at me... a gray hair.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From Power Point to Bathroom Jabbers...

Why does management insist on adding animation on Power Point Presentations? One or two pop-ups serve a nice purpose... making the next Pixar Full Length Feature is questionable at best. But who am I to second guess....right?

My boss is putting my name in for a Special Recognition Award. I'm not much for awards unless it's a team award or unless I was seriously an individual contributor of something. I really detest it when it's a collaborative effort and I'm left on the podium or trophy stand. Even worse, I had to write my own Award Caption... how lame. Needless to say, I went a little sarcastic on it... and also needless to say... the humor will probably NOT make the final cut.

Onto the subject of Bathroom Jabbers... had a very weird dream last night. Dreaming about bathrooms are already weird all in itself. But last night, was yet another time that I dreamnt I walked into the ladies room!! The details of the dream will be left undocumented for the sake of a PG rating.

Goodness gracious....Barry is 2 away from tying, 3 away from breaking it!!! And I have tickets for Monday night!!

back to Bathroom Jabbers...

So for the past two months... I've been making treks down the long hallway to the OTHER men's room to do my deed. I simply can not stand the non-flushable toilets. Alright... last week, I caved, got lazy and went to the one right next to my desk. Lo and behold...9 out of 10 were clogged again!! ARGH!!!

But here's the best part!! Earlier this week...while making a trek down the hallway (yeah...to do my deed)... I noticed the Ladies' Room was blocked off! A sign hung outside saying "Sewage Pipe Broken." Whoa!!... In my wildest imagination...I would never fathom that this happens to the ladies room!! GO LADIES!!!

Since we're on the topic of cross-gender bathroom jabber... Earlier this evening at the Macraroni Grill, I went to the bathroom and in there was a little girl (about 3-4 yrs old) with her dad. Her dad was washing his hands while she was ambling around. Now the question is...do I go? Or do I wait till she leaves? What would you do?

The Bathroom Jabbers continue...

Remember that Men's Room with 4 urinals, 6 sinks and 10 stalls that don't flush?? Remember that Hand Dryer that my friend thought was an air freshener?? Remember how it only had 1 paper towel dispenser that never, ever ran out of paper towels??

Well... today... it officially ran out of paper towels!!

OUTRAGEOUS!!!!

Remember that newly designed bathroom with 9 stalls and only 3 urinals?? Remember those toilets in that bathroom that flushes only if you sit and stand?? Remember??

Well...today I went in there and 8 out of the 9 toilets are ALL CLOGGED!!! The one and only toilet that wasn't clogged had this weird white murky water floating in it....

THIS IS INSANE!! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUSLY INSANE!!!!

Drive by...

Good golly gobbstoppers... Just finished the E&M take-home midterm, which is worth a measly 20% of the final grade and I feel like I just survived finals week. And right when I turn in one take-home midterm...I get, yet another take-home midterm. Yeah me!

So I absolutely despise cutting class. Even if I'm not paying for it... experience has shown me that every time I miss a lecture, the professor ALWAYS, 100% guarantee, without a shadow of a doubt, give an example problem that will appear on the final. Well... I've been dodging this training session at work which occurs once a month on Wednesdays. But today, the director comes talk to me (He never, ever talks to me) and says "Hank, you gotta take this CPE training more seriously. The company is paying you to take a class and you get a 5% raise from it." So what's a man to do?? Geez.... you have principles...and you have a 5% raise. Who wins???

Kudos to the janitors!! The mystical bathroom with one, and only one, paper towel dispenser has YET to run out of paper towels on my watch. I don't know how they do it? How they keep that thing filled? They must be on hourly or bi-hourly patrol or something. I'm impressed.

I'm also impressed that last Friday, someone moved the garbage can next to the door. I laughed, thinking that Facilities will move it back. Only to see the "DO NOT RELOCATE GARBAGE CAN" sign moved WITH the can!!! Please tell me that someone read my blog and reported it up the chain of command.

New Bathroom Jabbers

The bathroom by my office finally opened. An entire building was demolished and re-constructed before this bathroom was halfway done! If not for a vice-president moving into the area mandating this bathroom to be finished...I'll still be trekking a mile a day for my moments of relief.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS
My first impression upon entering this new fortress of solitude is...."Did I walk into the Ladies' Room!?!" (No offense to the other gender that shares this planet we call, earth.) But geez louise!! I walk in there and I see 4 urinals and 9 stalls. How many stalls do men need?!?!? Why can't they maximize real estate, and stick in a few extra urinals?

STALLING
There are a few times in a week when all the stalls are full. Monday morning...after a football Sunday. You walk into the mens room and all the stalls are occupied. You can hear the crinkle of Sports section in virtually every stall... people are catching up on their football stats. Occasionally, you'll hear the crinkle of the business section...but that's because that person was already done with the Sports section.

EXTRA-LONG LUNCH HOUR
The other time the stalls are full is when the cafeteria is serving "Mexican" Food. Never fails... you can almost guarantee that around 1-1:30PM on Mexican food day... the company water bill goes waaaaaaaay high due to high amount of flushing.

So why all the stalls and lack of urinals??? I have no clue.

SAVE THE TREES
Another thing I noticed right away... there is only 1 paper towel dispenser. We're talking about the good ol' mechanical, manual paper towel dispenser. The kind you crank a lever on the right side...and out peeks a spec of brown recycled paper that almost, kinda soaks water.

In a bathroom with 9 stalls and 4 urinals with 6 sinks...we have 1 paper towel dispenser. Help me out here...did the company spend all the money on toilets...and had to cut cost on something else?? Did someone assume that men don't bother washing hands...so they won't bother drying their hands?

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
Why do men need a full size mirror in our bathroom?? This isn't just any full size mirror...this is a complete wall!!!!! More signs that this bathroom was PROBABLY...most LIKELY...designed for the opposite sex. How about taking the mirror out and putting some more paper towel dispensers there?

IN-NO-VATION
For some unfathomable reason, other than the 1 single paper towel dispenser, we have 1 automatic hand dryer!!! Why on earth do we have 1 of each?? Other than some Rest Area restrooms in the middle of Hwy 5, who in their right minds still use hand dryers???

GOOD SMELLY THING
True story...I was in there with a friend, discussing all the short comings of the bathroom. (No, we were not discussing it while in the stalls.) I introduced him to the hand dryer. Introduce, meaning for an entire week, he thought that thing was an air freshener!

VERTICALLY CHALLENGED
When the average height of Americans are 5'10"... how on earth can anyone come up with the idea of installing the dispenser / hand dryer below waist level? Talk about being ergonomically correct, eh?

LOOK MA...NO HANDS!!
I do credit the company for moving into the 21st century. Sort've. All the toilets are now automatic flushers. The urinals flush themselves 3 seconds after you walk away. The toilets flush the moment you get up. That's right...the exact moment!!! So if you're not quick...the toilet might suck you in.

I don't know about you... but if I go #2, I have the habit of flushing the toilet first to get rid of any floaters that are undetectable by the naked eye. I want to be sure I'm starting with a clean bowl of water in case any splashing happens. (Yeah...splashing. Don't ask.) But with these new "automatic" flushers...I have no way of making the darn thing flush!! I wave my hand in front of a black dot...which I think is a sensor. I press my hand up against it, count to 5 and remove my hand. No avail. I can't force the toilet to flush. Only thing I'm left to do... sit down and bounce right back up.

CONFUSING CODES
By some California Code...we're required to have double doors and an entry way. Okay...I'm fine with it. But I have a Personal Code of drying my hands with a paper towel...and then using the paper towel to grab the door handle to open the door. But ohhhhhhhhhhhh.... the cost-cutting genius was working hard that day. Inside our bathroom, we have ONE and ONLY ONE trash can. I can do the "paper-towel-grab-handle" trick on the first door. But what about the 2nd door?

CALLED FOR TRAVELLING
Back to the "Paper-towel-grab-handle" trick for the 1st door for a moment. I guess I'm not the only one that practices this trick... and it's particulary annoying when the garbage can is about a mile away from the door. You try your best to aim and shoot...but it almost always lands on the floor. Can't bring the door to the can...bring the can to the door, right?!? NO!!!

The other day, a sign was posted by the garbage can saying:

DO NOT RELOCATE GARBAGE CAN. THANKS.