Ever since that fateful day on my birthday... I find myself crying over the weirdest things.
Is it old-age? Is it mid-life crisis? Read some where that crying is an psychological state of mind that brings emotional relief. In the most absurd and roundabout way... maybe I'm trying to find some "joy" in my life...and the only way of finding that joy is by crying. As weird as it sounds... it almost makes sense.
So am I crying cuz I'm sad....? Or am I crying cuz I'm happy?
Monday, September 30, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Change is hard...
Been about 3 weeks since that decisive day that I need to change jobs... change career... change my lifestyle. It's tough! Especially for someone as driven as me.
It's hard to get into work a little later than before. And to leave work a little earlier than before. (I still get my 40+ hours in, don't worry). But the days in the past where I toil and toil... gotta start weaning away. It ain't easy!! I'm still blessed/cursed with the responsibility that I have to do my best at anything I do. I guess I get that from dad....
Life at home has gotten a lot better - exponentially. Can't remember the last time Joyce and I got into a fight. The other day... Nn spilled her breakfast and she didn't hesitate to tell me. That means she's not scared of disappointing me... which means I haven't ripped a new one into her for the smallest things. SW is still scared of me. He very much prefers mah-MEE. In due time, I guess.
But I have to admit... this is a struggle. I'm giving up high achievements to be at home more. I'm giving up the satisfaction of knowing I work harder than anyone else. I'm giving up control of my job... and to realize that the company/program CAN survive without me.
This is all hard to do... hard to accept. Hard to accept the fact that... I can be insignificant. Maybe it's an ego thing. Maybe it's a reality check. I don't know. In the end... I think it'll be worth it.
It's hard to get into work a little later than before. And to leave work a little earlier than before. (I still get my 40+ hours in, don't worry). But the days in the past where I toil and toil... gotta start weaning away. It ain't easy!! I'm still blessed/cursed with the responsibility that I have to do my best at anything I do. I guess I get that from dad....
Life at home has gotten a lot better - exponentially. Can't remember the last time Joyce and I got into a fight. The other day... Nn spilled her breakfast and she didn't hesitate to tell me. That means she's not scared of disappointing me... which means I haven't ripped a new one into her for the smallest things. SW is still scared of me. He very much prefers mah-MEE. In due time, I guess.
But I have to admit... this is a struggle. I'm giving up high achievements to be at home more. I'm giving up the satisfaction of knowing I work harder than anyone else. I'm giving up control of my job... and to realize that the company/program CAN survive without me.
This is all hard to do... hard to accept. Hard to accept the fact that... I can be insignificant. Maybe it's an ego thing. Maybe it's a reality check. I don't know. In the end... I think it'll be worth it.
Sunday, September 08, 2013
Best day of your life...worst day of your life
In the movie City Slickers, there's a famous scene where the three leading characters each go through the "Best Day..." in their lives.
Daniel Stearn starts with his best day being his wedding day. How he's grown up... no longer a screw up... and his dad, gave him a *wink*. Then for his worst day...he says every day since has been a tie.
Then it was Billy Crystal's turn. His best day was his first Yankees game. And then his worst day..... ohhhhhh mannnnnn....
Turned out to be a great day. But the whole day leading up to the point was the worst. Joyce and I just experienced it this past week.
It might not be the worst day of our lives. We've had worst... I can fathom. But man... this certainly comes darn close.
As for the best day.... I'd really have to think about that.
Daniel Stearn starts with his best day being his wedding day. How he's grown up... no longer a screw up... and his dad, gave him a *wink*. Then for his worst day...he says every day since has been a tie.
Then it was Billy Crystal's turn. His best day was his first Yankees game. And then his worst day..... ohhhhhh mannnnnn....
Turned out to be a great day. But the whole day leading up to the point was the worst. Joyce and I just experienced it this past week.
It might not be the worst day of our lives. We've had worst... I can fathom. But man... this certainly comes darn close.
As for the best day.... I'd really have to think about that.
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