Been about 3 weeks since that decisive day that I need to change jobs... change career... change my lifestyle. It's tough! Especially for someone as driven as me.
It's hard to get into work a little later than before. And to leave work a little earlier than before. (I still get my 40+ hours in, don't worry). But the days in the past where I toil and toil... gotta start weaning away. It ain't easy!! I'm still blessed/cursed with the responsibility that I have to do my best at anything I do. I guess I get that from dad....
Life at home has gotten a lot better - exponentially. Can't remember the last time Joyce and I got into a fight. The other day... Nn spilled her breakfast and she didn't hesitate to tell me. That means she's not scared of disappointing me... which means I haven't ripped a new one into her for the smallest things. SW is still scared of me. He very much prefers mah-MEE. In due time, I guess.
But I have to admit... this is a struggle. I'm giving up high achievements to be at home more. I'm giving up the satisfaction of knowing I work harder than anyone else. I'm giving up control of my job... and to realize that the company/program CAN survive without me.
This is all hard to do... hard to accept. Hard to accept the fact that... I can be insignificant. Maybe it's an ego thing. Maybe it's a reality check. I don't know. In the end... I think it'll be worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment