Saturday, April 12, 2025

The Chasm

 That chasm between me and SW is growing wide and fast… and it’s a tsunami that I simply can’t stop nor do I wish to weather. 

 After practice… NN wanted to go shopping at Valley Fair.  So we went for lunch and immediately after lunch, she pulls Joyce to go Mommy/Daughter shopping while I was left with SW.  I immediately got worried…. And pulled Joyce aside.  “What do I do with him??” I don’t like shopping… nor do I know how to shop for a teenage boy.  She said, “You guys can go home if you want.  Come pick us up later.”  I exhaled…. and took the opportunity to bond with my son.

 I had some high hopes… went from one store to another.  Tried pointing out interesting clothes for him to try.  Tried drawing remarks from him or things to discuss to which I was volleyed sarcasm or silence.  He seemed disinterested in every thing I wanted him to try.  Either I have no sense for fashion (possibly).  Or he has zero interest in shopping (maybe).  Or he simply doesn’t know how to pick clothes or accept clothes his dad picks for him.  And doesn’t know that he can go try-them-on and check himself out in the mirror.  Ugh… after about 4-5 stores, I got sick of the routine.  So I clammed up.  I told him to lead… and I’ll follow.  It got really icy.  He knew I was happy… but he didn’t want to rock the boat any further.  So he reluctantly walked around the mall a few more times.  We didn’t talk.  We didn’t joke.  It ended with him waving the white flag…. “I’m done.”  I mirrored his surrender and decided to find a place to simply sit and wait for the ladies.  

 We found these soft cushy chairs in the middle of the mall and sat down.  Both of us busted out our devices and tried to kill time.  I texted Joyce, “911 – don’t know how to shop with him.”  She aptly replied… “Bring him to me, I can take him.”  I was so despondent.  I’m the “fun” parent.  But I couldn’t find a way to connect with my son.  There use to be an Apple store and Microsoft store that can help us kill time.  But that was when he was younger… without his personal device.  There’s a Bowlero there…but we’re sick of arcades at this point.  So we just sat.  Sat.  Sat.  Sat.  Finally enough time passed where lunch wore away… and I said, “Let’s get some pretzels.” 

 Anything to break the monotony of sitting…. We walked to map and looked for Wetzel Pretzel.  Found it.  And I told him to lead.  We walked in circles for a good 10 minutes.  After the third time around the same section… I finally piped in.  “Do you even know where we’re going?!”  And that’s when the fun began.  We found another map…. And this map… for whatever reason… showed a different location for Wetzel.  I pulled out my phone and found a third location for Wetzel.  Ok… confirmed it still exists.  But where is it???

 SW proposed he’ll race me to it… and off he dashed.  No idea where he think he was going.  But I knew exactly where I was headed…. The same ol place it’s been the past 10-15 years.  I purposely walked slowly… to give him a chance to beat me.  After taking the long, scenic route… I arrived there.  But SW was no where to be found!!  5 more minutes passed and he finally called.  Apparently… he ran around the 2nd floor twice and still couldn’t find it.  Ok… the laughter came back. The fun was back. 

 I guess deep down… he wants exactly what I want.  To have fun again.  But he also didn’t know how.  Poor guy… full fledge teenager.  Wanting to be Fonzie cool… but deep down… he’s still Richie Cunningham… looking for a thrill on that blueberry hill.  Sigh…

No comments: