Another insomnia attack

It's 1130. Bedtime.

I'm fighting a cold. Rest time.

But I can't sleep. Too much on my mind.

Caught word that a parent of a childhood friend was found stabbed, beaten and murdered in her own house.  She was home alone.  Kids gone.  Husband out of town. Surreal.

Just read an article about a mom abusing her 5 year old. Gluing her to a wall... Then beating her and kicking her cuz she urinated on herself.  I'll never even come close to that type of abuse... but the thoughts and memories of me yelling at, punishing and scolding nn and bb suffocates me.  I couldn't help but walk over to them and kiss them while they're sleeping.... and apologizing. 

Tonight's bedtime story... nn picked it... was about a kid who stole.  And his mom didn't punish him...rather she encouraged him.  When the kid grew up to be a man... he was caught for stealing and was about to he hung.  His final wish to see his mom for one last time.  When she came, he started whispering.  The mom couldn't hear so she leaned closer...and the thief, now a grown man, bit her mom's ear real hard, saying, "This is your punishment for making me into who I am today." 

I haven't even typed a word of mom's situation.  And her it is... she's back in 3 days.  Now what?  3 days...and for the next how many years to come?

It's 1148.  Past my bedtime.
I'm still fighting that same cold.  Can't rest.
I can't sleep.  But I'm tired.  Sh*t.