Had a rare panic attack last night that led to insomnia. Was very tired... but couldn't fall asleep between 11PM - 5AM yesterday. The reason... I was thinking of putting a Family Trust together. More specifically... thinking of the future guardians / caretakes of Nui-nui and Siu-wah in case something happens to me and Joyce.
What a horrible and tragic subject to even think about. But you must think about it! This is even worse than thinking about "pulling the cord" in the case one of us become vegetables and are left on a life preserver (I think).
Who will be on "The List?"
The grandparents? Naturally... but then again... they're getting old. Can they physically or financially do it?
Tito Paulo and Grace EE? Of course... yet... they have two kids of their own.
Bak bak. Why not... except... he's in China. And he's never been a parent.
Who's next? Will these guardians continue to bring them to church? To raise them according to God's will? Will they be raised Republican?
People at church? B&S in our fellowship? Impossible... they have to raise their own family. Empty nesters? Former HG parents? Close college friends?
In the midst of all these questions... all these uncertainties... I can only think of one image. One un-erasable image. And that's the image of Nui-nui carrying a backpack... holding the hand of little Siu-Wah... both with blank looks on their faces. Siu Wah has no idea what's going on except he knows Ga-Jeh will take care of him. Nui-nui also has no idea of what's going... except she knows he has to take care of her little brother.
I'm getting emotional just writing this... just thinking about it.
And I prayed, in the name of Jesus Christ, to cast away all these feelings of sadness of depression.
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