Too soon...? Or... as forecasted.

At some point in time, I knew things would collide between me and NN.  And boy has it ever.

On Saturday... we got the cast list for her Fall Musical and unexpectedly... she was NOT casted, not even for a minor role.  She is stuck as an ensemble.  With all the high hopes going in... with how she claimed the "destroyed the audition", with how she's never....ever... failed in anything in school... the world came crashing down.

The first night... when she did NOT get a call back... everything started crumbling.  More for me than her... or at least I wore it on my sleeve.  I quickly hugged her and said, "I'm sorry."  To which she completely side stepped me and rejected my sign of empathy.  "Stop assuming what I want or don't want."

Then when she did not get casted... and I walked in right when she read the email... she smiled.  I gave her another hug and said "I'm sorry." To which she snapped at me... in tears.... "I'm soooo SICK of you always assuming what I want."  She repeated that like three times.

I could've stayed silent and nodded.  But I knew she was hurt.  I knew she was disappointed.  I was seething.  And I reminded her, "You told me... you wanted a medium part.  You didn't want a lead because you said you have too much homework." She aptly denied ever saying that.

Since then... we haven't talked to each other.  Silent treatment going both ways. It got so icy cold in the house... Joyce finally pulled me aside, "You better start talking to her." And I said, "She needs to apologize first."  2nd night in a row of not talking.  

This morning... I walked out and said "Good morning."  To which she paused and said, "Good morning" in return.  That's it.  Nothing else. I don't need this.  I don't deserve to treated like this.  Back and forth, in my mind.  She needs to learn her place.  But I'm the adult, I shalln't act like a teenager.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.

Finally... when she got home after rehearsals... I went into her room and gently asked, "When are you going to start talking to me?" She coldly responded, "I don't know." 

That's it.  I extended the olive branch and she ripped it, smashed it and burned it.  I'm done with this crap.  You take your teenage bratty self and go rinse it in the Pacific Ocean 7 times and you come back and talk to me.  I ain't dealing with this.

With what's in my genes.... with the way I grew up... with the way Joyce treats her dad... with the way I treat mom... this was inevitable.  I guess.  I knew for the longest time... this was going to happen one day.  She's not even an official teen yet.... is it too soon?