One of the most annoying parts of CNY... is the annual stuffing of the 利是。 All this work. I get it... it's a symbolism of a blessing. But seriously... move on with modern age. We've got Zelle and Venmo.
I complain a lot... in reality... I love handing them out, especially to my American co-workers. They love receiving these and they're always curious as what's inside. It's the whole stuffing part that annoys the heck out of me.
It was bound to happen.... the house is too small for the two of us. It's you or me!!
At around 6:30 this morning... I was heading to work when... as I started down the stairs, I noticed a shadow by NN's room. I took a step back... doublechecked my vision... then I turned on the hall way light and there it was. Staring straight at me. (cue "Good, Bad, and Ugly western music).
You!!! You who have plagued my house for months. You who dug into my Merci chocolate under my bed. You who chewed a hole in NN's backpack. You who ate into my pasta and cornbread. You... who probably though unconfirmed... scratched and gnawed on my foot that one fateful night when I thought it was a nightmare.
I ran downstairs to grab a broom. In my mind... I was going to sweep it to the left or right... and knock it unconscious. But woe is me... NN just happened to have left the door to her room open. And without fail... Mickey slipped his way in. I had a moment of consideration. Do I go in and startle NN...?? Or is this it???
My adrenaline was on full blast. I started sweating. It was time. This is it. Final Boss. I go into NN's room... wake her up... and kick her out. I had Mickey trapped.
NN got up... startled and scared as heck, as if something bad has happened. I calmed her down saying... "Everything's ok. I'm gonna catch the rat."
Inside NN's room... was a mess. And Mickey could've been hiding anywhere. One by one... I threw NN's stuffed animals onto her bed. Nothing.
Then I went into her closet. Methodically... I removed one thing at a time. Each time... prepping my broom to thrust or swing. Before I knew it, her closet was empty. Mickey wasn't there. I shut her closet door as tight as possible so it can't hide in there.
Her bookshelf is next. Again... slowly and silently... I started removing things. Books. Stuffed animals. Cups. (Gwarsh... my daughter is messy). Then... when I was about to give up... I see a ball with a string. Could that be it. Could Mickey be hiding in the corner????
Aptly... I pushed one corner of the bookshelf smack into the wall to limit its escape route. One shelf at a time... I continued emptying the contents... until.... I touched a stuffed gnome and "tak-tak-tak-tak-tak!!!" Mickey got startled and started scurrying away. He ran to the other side of the bookshelf... but it was blocked. Trapped!!! He had no where to go!!! The trick worked.
It tried to hide by not moving. Some animals believe that predators hunt with motion. And if it stayed motionless... I won't see it. Ohhhhh Mickey.... I'm not your typical predator. I see you. I see your body breathing. I see your whiskers whiskering. I see your heart beating... just as fast as mine.
This entire time... I was holding my broom like a spear. Ready to launch. Ready to jab. Ready to put Mickey out of his (and my) misery.
The bookshelf... as much as I tried... still had a bunch of crap. Mickey found himself "hiding" behind a bunch of binders. Perfect. The binders are sharp and hard. This is it buddy. You're done!! Using my broom... I started shoving the binders hard hoping to crush that beast. SHOVE!! SHOVE!! SHOVE!!!
Silence. Was that it....? Did that do the job. I stepped back... waiting to reap the rewards of my hunting expedition. And then... Mickey popped his face out staring at me. Laughing at me. MOCKING me!! "Ha!! You idiot!! You're pathetic!!!"
By now... I was dripping in sweat. It's been almost an hour since our first encounter. And the standstill was never more still. I kept my eye on my prey... while building a wall behind me. The last thing I needed was for Mickey to scurry away behind my back into another part of the room.
This standoff continued. I was helpless. I tried getting a garbage can and some empty boxes to trap it. But there was no way I can reach Mickey behind the shelf. There was simply no room. I then did what any husband would do in a moment of helplessness... I called in reinforcements. I called for my wife.
There was no way I can capture Mickey on my own. I asked Joyce to bring me my traps. I know I know. Inhumane. Unethical. But desperate times... calls for desperate measures. Mickey was now bouncing back and forth from shelf to shelf. Dishing and dashing. Thinking it stood a chance of survival. Any other day buddy... any other day.
I laid the trap in its escape routes. The trap had bait... good ol' Honey Nut Cheerios. If you run... you're gonna get stuck. If you snack, you're doomed. This is it. Final chapter. Armageddon. And within minutes... Mickey got hungry. Ahhhhh... but you're just a beast afterall with a pea sized brain. Mickey fell for the trap. He moved and started nibbling on the Cheerios... on the glue sticky pad!! HAHAHAHHAHA.... you're done for!!!! Say goodbye... you're mine now!!!!
And then... as fast as it got on the trap. It jumped right off. WTH!!??!?? The glue doesn't work!!! It hasn't worked. The top layer must've oxidized. Not only do I not have my prize... it's now a re-energized prize... with more the reason for Bugs to laugh at Elmer Fudd. Further reinforcements were needed. I screamed for Joyce to bring me my snap traps.... and also my work phone. I started cancelling all my morning meetings. This has gone on for 90 minutes... who knows how much longer it'll last.
Mickey was now surrounded... it was against a corner. No where to go. No where to hide. I had traps laid out at every exit point. And all this... cuz I wanna sweep it into a box and dump it outside. With my full court press.... Mickey Maholmes still managed to bounce away!! Skipping. Scurrying. Bouncing. This time... past my cover 2 defense onto the other side of the room behind the safe confides of our router!!! The warm router that gave off a white noise buzz became it's latest santcuary. And as luck would have it... NN's desk legs was every bit of a protection. Making it impossible for me to approach. There was no direct, simple route to tackle Mickey.
Went out to have birthday dinner with dad. Again... he loves celebrating the Lunar birthday, not Gregorian. It was special... took him to a semi-upscale place by the Embarcadero and he was absolutely giddy... too a point where he ordered red wine to go with dinner. He hardly ever drinks.
As I was driving him home... he started saying random things like... our village superstitious of having to throw a big 5-0 birthday party so that our children will be certain to get married.
Or how he explicitly told me to tell the kids... when they earn money in the future... to first buy mom something. Mom first. Mom always.
Tears started to well up. I suddenly realized... that these moments... can be few and far between. He's 77 this year. Who knows how many more of these dinner we're going to have. Who knows how much longer we can have these types of conversations.
As we parted... he said, "個仔同我食飯， 今晚開心到睡不著。“
The little glue traps... as unethical as it seems... weren't enough. I needed to step up my game.
This time... I went back to home depot and got the big glue traps. I got the good ol fashioned snap traps... the one you see on Tom and Jerry. Whatever pest control was trying to do... ain't working.
So I tried setting up the traps myself.
Of course... with zero experience with those snap traps... I inadvertently snapped my own finger!!! Despite all the warning labels.
The youtube video said use a raisin... and cover it in peanut butter as bait. I didn't have raisin... but I have marshmellows. Let's see how this goes....This is it... this is WAR!!!!
Lunar New Year is around the corner... but since summer of last year... our household has been stuck in a do-loop of commemorating the year of the friggin rat.
It all started in late August... when one day... I discovered my Cup of Noodles were chewed into. Half the box was gone. Started cleaning up the garage and discovered more and more rodent droppings and other food items devoured into... including an entire box of Costco Microwaved popcorn. We called pest control in early September and they set some traps and rat poison out. On 9/14... we discovered the body and thought that was it.....
Don't have the exact timeline anymore... but it must've been sometime in October. One night when NN went to volleyball practice... we discovered Liquid IV came out from a hole in her bag. She thought it was a tear... I saw it and right away knew... the rat is back.
Soon after... I started Merci chocolate wrappers in the kitchen room floor. How?! What?!
And then one fateful night... I heard it under our bed. Scratches. Noises. It woke me up in the middle of the night. I had a feeling it was rodents... so I made a bunch of noise and turned on my flash light to scare the guy away. I was too sleepy to do anything.
And then I occurred to me... several weeks ago while asleep... I felt something scratch the bottom of my feet. I let out a scream... thinking it was a nightmare. Oh my goodness... the rat was chewing on my foot!!!!
It was supposed to be a jam session... turned out more like an audition!!! Mean Dean is on his game and here I am.. the guy with no music training whatsoever. HA!! But alas... I passed and I'm back!!
What is your worst nightmare????
I'll give you one.... how about watching your child injure themselves on the court/field... and then lay motionless for minutes which equates to eternity. Thankfully (PRAISE GOD!!) she walked off on her own power.
