Glazed

It's been 3 months... and even today... someone came up to me, "Are you Hank?" "Your speech... your presentation... was so good.  So entertaining and captivating.  You had me on the edge of my seat.  I wish I can talk like you." 

Keep glazin'..... I'm eating it all up.  With a side of humble pie, of course. 

No suave

 SW and I walked into Happy Lemon... and he acted very 蛇𠺌.  And seconds... milli-seconds!!! after ordering... he snuck out of the shop leaving me standing alone.  Turns out... SHE was also there.  Aiiiii.... 仔啊!!! Like a duck swimming... you needa be calm and cool after water even if you're frantically kicking underwater.   Now you totally... 露咗隻低牌. No suave. 

William Chan

 When the aunts from Macau and Vancouver visited... every where we took them... they'd want to look for "William Chan" aka "Water Closet" aka the bathroom.  When Nita and Brandon visited this week... everywhere we went... we looked to unload a few ounces and pay our water bills.  We are now... them. 

Far too agonizing

At a company offsite dinner inside a little, private party room.  I sat right in the middle of a long table that fits about 40.  During drinks and hordeurves, it got soooo loud on both sides...   Everyone was laughing harder than they usually would.  And in doing so... speaking or yelling so they can be heard.  Which in turn... forced the other people to raise their volume even more.

I simply had to get up and walk out because it was far too agonizing.  

Stay positive

In reviewing our employee insight survey comments... why does my boss and then HR like to gather and summarize the "bad comments" and leave out the compliments?  When I asked HR... they said, "We wanted to summarize the good stuff."  To which I wanted to reply.. that is the literal, absolute definition of NOT the good stuff.  One week later... during staff... HR came back with the compliments.  

Then last night... when we had our Youth Parents Small Group about empathy... to which I still have a fundamental disagreement with the definition... all we can talk about is being empathetic about the negative feelings.  We never share about being empathetic... or try to understand... or walk in the shoes... of someone that's feeling joyful and ecstatic. 

People.  People.  People.  Let's try to stay positive. 

Empathy vs Sympathy

 At our Parents' Small Group - we had a whole discussion on "What is empathy?"

"To understand...."

"To wear one's shoes...."

"To identify...."

"To not judge..."

I piped up (cuz that's what I do...) and said, "Sympathy... is understanding what someone is going through because you've experienced a similar event.  Whereas Empathy... is identifying and validating what someone is going through... but you can't truly understand it."  And my example was Menstrual Pains. That lauched a whole discussion on kidney stones... and gender... and generation.

Modern society and contemporary psychologists have hopped on this hot take bandwagon and branded sympathy with a scarlett letter of being a hand-wave, robotic response.  Whereas empathy... is trying to understand, to walk that mile, to be at the level of.  At the end of the day... does it really matter? Not really. I'm just easily annoyed and like to be that gum under a desk.

Not a garbage can!!!

Pet Peeve #331 

When someone sits in my collapsable lawn/beach chair... leave trash in the webbing cupholder... and walk off!!!! 

School of Rock

NN got invited by her buddy to catch a gig at a local dive bar in Felton.  I volunteered to drive her and her friends.  Gwarsh they're talented!!  So young... so vibrant... so much fun.

After The Chilling... how I wish I can actually join a band and rock out!!

 

Mile Stone

A day after running a 9 minute mile.... and well on my way of achieving my goal of 8 minute... today I run a 9:30 mile.  Geez... did I screw up my timing/distance today or yesterday? 

The Franchise

Been polishing about a book a week... barring any unforeseen meetings or functions.  This was a a tough read for a number of reasons.  Pavlovic is probably the least favorite of all the beats.  Some of the players and event outdate me... so I don't have a first person passion for it.  But the toughest of tough was... of course... 2002.  5 run lead.  6 outs.  Why give him the ball???  Why Dusty?!?!?!?

No... 2010, 2012, 2014 will not make up for it.  It helps... but no.  

Pacing... and passing

SW actually wanted to go running with me today.  Started out fine... he wanted to push me.  Then he was pacing me.  Then.... he blew me away and left me in his dust.  Haha,..  

廿載情

 

Family Affair

Another one bites the dust... another checkmark or two off the bucket list. Worshipping not just with my wife... or my daughter... but both!!!  And to be on the worship team for Mission Conference.  That one is huge. Never in my wildest dream...  will see if things can keep up and I'll get to do Deeper Life also!! Haha..

Jurassic Park

Finished reading the classic, Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton.  It was an amazing page turner... if I wasn't so tired at night... I would've stayed up and finished it in one sitting.  The book goes much deeper into the science, the nuance, and the ethical dilemmas of technology. 

The character Ian Malcolm even says (along the lines of), "In the olden days, our forefathers would work 20 hours a week on their farms.  With the dawn of technology and the industrial revolution, we find ourselves working longer hours and be more stressed out to a point.  Are we moving forward or backwards?"

As the old saying goes... the book is better than the movie.  In this case... I dunno.  I have to hand it to Steven Spielberg.  His reimagining of Jurassic Park and the lasting images branded into our hearts really puts that old adage to a test.  From the casting... to that first encounter with the brontosaurus... down what to cut and add to the plot... it was downright impeccable.

Jurassic Park also has a special place in my heart.  Went to watch the movie during the last week of freshman year when I was still trying to find friends in high school.  AMC Kabuki... with lunch at Sizzler on Geary.  And it was a little sad or embarrassing that I had to almost beg to be allowed to go with that group.  Still vaguely remember those phone calls or sitting by the phone waiting for Susan to call.  Thankfully... it followed by a great beach day... followed by the summer that broke the dam.  And the rest is history.  On all the backs of the T-rex and those annoying velociraptors. 

I don't listen...?

One of the toughest part in being a parent of a club athlete... the drive home.

NN didn't have an exceptionally good day.  She didn't have a bad day.  But on a scale of 1-10... it's on the lower end of the scale with her stock trending down.  Not sure what it is with her play.  2 years since Tropical Touch... and she still doesn't hit as well as 14 year old Kelly or Devon.  Excuses... excuses... excuses.... but no breakthrough.  I've tried.  Numerous coaches have tried.  And we still can't figure it out. 

I already knew it wasn't a good time to bring up any "suggestions" or "critiques."  It was... play the "I agree" card.  But when she started talking about her elevation and how she isn't getting her height... I carefully (and regretfully) agreed.  I started by saying she wasn't exploding cuz the sets weren't there.  Then I said... from my vantage point... it was just her hands over the net.  Either she's just jumping with her ankles/calves.... or she's not using her quads.... or she's not getting the timing. 

But that spiraled into a "all I have is my elevation... without that... I have nothing."  And it continued to go downhill from there.  She says I'm not listening.  I told her I was agreeing with her.  Then she said she doesn't want me to go to another game again.  (I paused.). "Really??"  "Not if we end up fighting like this."  I said, "Fine."  Door slammed prominently in my face.  And even though I know she doesn't mean it... deep down... there's probably some truth to it.   It's almost like... "You don't support me?? I don't want you in my life!"

This is so stupid.  I agree with her.  And I get in trouble.  I try to be supportive.  And I get called out for raining on her parade and not understanding her.  It must've been my travel... where I'm still recovering from lack of sleep.  Or from waking up early and being at a tournament all day.  I was tired.  My guard was down.  I wasn't filtered.  And I chose not to back down.  "No... I'm not taking the fall for this.  You asked for my thoughts and I gave you my observation.  If it's not the truth... fine."  

I didn't want us to go to bed angry.... or at least... didn't want the sun go down in anger.  So I did the adult/fatherly thing, walked into her room, and apologized for what happened.  She wasn't ready to talk and I don't blame her.  These things take time... and it's not like they're all 100% going to be done by sun going down.  We shall see.... 

Sigh... to be a father. 

Quick trip to NOLA

Took another quick trip down to NOLA... this time... I made a point to actually look up "best gumbo" online and a couple of places pointed me to the Gumbo Shop in the French Quarter.  Ended up getting the Cajun Combo... seafood gumbo... rice and beans, jambalaya, and shrimp etouffle, a corn side dish, and a praline sundae.  It was.... meh.  Not gonna come back and not going to recommend it if people were to ask.  It wasn't bad... it just... wasn't great. 

 

Then the next morning... woke up and had breakfast with Jason and Trey at Ruby Slippers.  Kinda like an upscale Denny's that can be found everywhere.  Had a "special" with fried chicken and pulled pork bennies.  Definitely worth going back to given the opportunity to do another breakfast in NOLA! 

 

Cross Country

This Semester... SW flipped a new page in the Leung family history.  He competed in his first Cross Country Race... in San Francisco Golden Gate Park no less.  Never been to a XC meet before... quite eye opening.  And boy are the runners fast!! And athletic!!  And fast!!  Best part of the race... and I think only King's Academy did it.... is what makes us stand out amongst the rest (perhaps). 

Superman 2025

Pop Idols come and go.  Celebrity crushes or maybe even real-life crushes.  Favorite foods... favorite restaurants.  Favorite color.  Favorite book of the bible. They change over time due to maturity... or different tastes... different walks and experiences.  No one will mock or ridicule you for that... that's just part of life.   But there are some constants... some things that just don't change... like your favorite super hero.  

I was actually surprised... but I'd blogged about this thrice.  In 2006 when Brandon Routh starred in Super Man Returns.   Then in 2013... when I blogged about Man of Steel.  I briefly mentioned Super Man in a post about Spider Man. If anything... I'm consistent. 

The latest Super Man from James Gunn... was fun.  We even took mom with us since it's such a simple storyline, it doesn't take much to translate.  A little comic-booky for me... but that's what Super Man is, right??  The plot was a little outlandish... again... it's a comic book.  And the way they elevate Lex (or Joker) drives me nuts.  I'm not a dog person... so Krypto wasn't much of a hit.  And in my memory... this is the first sarcastic Super Man I've seen hit the silver screen.  I guess I can get use to the humor.

The main plot line... other than the obvious... is the fact that Super Man is an alien and a god... but he's very much human.  Gunn exposes that fact to a point where it's a weakness and yet... that is his greatest strength.  The use or overuse of kryptonite was a tad annoying.  I know you need to find a heel for Achilles... but an alien that can morph to kryptonite (or the sun) it's a little lazy.  But how else would you make it interesting.... even if there was a clone... and Lex's supercomputer can out-maneuver and out-fight the Man of Steel himself.  If this was Chronicle Man... I'd rate it with a man sitting up watching.

Smile to my face

While in a car... I couldn't help but take a quick snapshot of this older couple going for an evening stroll.

What's their story? How did they end up in Sunnyvale? Are they immigrants from a far off country? Escaping persecution or natural disasters? Or perhaps they're both well-off academics with 3-4 degrees each and have succeeded in pursuit of the American dream.  Have you considered them being siblings... and having to walk over to mom and dad's house for a Friday night game of Scrabble? 

They're in no rush... not like they can walk any faster.

They own the street... not like anyone will push them down.

They're living life.. one step at a time, one moment at a time.  That... moment in time. 

港產片

Grew up watching 港產片.  From VHS tapes... to Chinese theaters... to Friday Night channel 26 movies... to VCD's... pirated VHS/VCD's...  online streaming services... library DVD's....and most recently.. United Personal Entertainment. 

With all the VOD at home... and now the kids are old enough we can hit the silver screen so often... there aren't any blockbusters or classics I want to waste my precious attention span on.  I catch myself watching sappy Disney sports movies and skipping to the good parts like the training montage.  So many options... so many choices... nothing that sparks my interests.

This time... though... the new United database was expanded to hold a lot more movies... including international ones.  Three that drew my interests were 我談的那場戀愛, 久別重逢, 焚城. 

Ended up watching the first one on my way to NOLA... and watching 久別重逢 on the way back.  The plots were simple... yet thought provoking.  The actors were ones I grew up watching, 吳君如 and 鄭伊健 respectively.  And the soundtrack and scores from the second movie was a blast from the 90's.  I got off the plane and quickly found the song on Youtube.  The fam will be hearing me sing this for the rest of the month (at least!!)

In a way... this is kinda like mom's version of 粵曲 for me... just as it is for my kids.  They'll never understand it or appreciate.  Nor will they have the nostalgia or comfort for it.  

Birthday Dinner

On my birthday this year... I chose to not "celebrate" it with my family, but rather... go out to SF to have dinner with mom and dad.  I think... between the two... the elders probably value my birthday more than the kids.  Not that it's demeaning or a zing... just a matter of fact.  Kids and Joyce have so much going on... another birthday "gets in the way."  But for my parents... just like me... my son's birthday is as monumental today as it was 40+ years ago.  

Went to a popular restaurant in Chinatown.  Whatever... I don't give the restaurant much thought anymore.  A meal is just a meal at this point.  Drive 2 hours out (ugh), find parking (ugh...), sit down... order... eat... go home.  It's all worth it.  Breaking bread.  Having meal as a family.  

Dad didn't eat the salt and pepper crab cuz it's deep fried.  Amazing.  He stays away from fried food and spicy food religiously... and yet he won't quit smoking for even a day.  Heh.... 

好心分手

好心一早放開我 重頭努力也坎坷

統統不要好過 來年歲月那麼多

為繼續而繼續 沒有好處還是我

若注定有一點苦楚 不如自己親手割破

My poor baby 😣 

Lunch with the Sons

Somehow... I've become the "organizer" for our quarterly lunches.  I say quarterly... mainly cuz our bdays happen to fall in April/May... August... Thanksgiving/Christmas... and I guess pick one more holiday.  This comes at the tail end of listening to that podcast about adult men trying to keep and maintain friends.  I miss my friends... my high school buds.  My college buds.  Perhaps even... my old church buds.  Why don't I have any friends???? 

Went to a Filipino restaurant where I really wanted to go with Mark or MyChris so they can show me the ropes.  They did not disappoint.

Painful realities - NN version

 The reality is... both my kids are not physically built for volleyball... the one competitive sport they love.

NN has always been an overachiever.  Not entirely gifted in anyone one thing, but just excelled due to natural talent.  Whether it was academics, arts, sports... she never had trouble with anything.  Joyce and I even had discussions of how we want her to trip over a hurdle or two... and be humbled in life.  That not everything is smooth sailing... and how sometimes, hardwork itself won't be enough.  How dare any parents wish that onto their children.

Slowly, her natural talents stalled while her friends moved onto the next level through training and hardwork... and being unequivocally tall.  You can't train height.  You just are. 

After two years of stress and relief... NN opted to go the non-competitive route and not deal with the unknown.  She had an offer in hand and she stuck with it.  Her new coach kept glazing her at tryouts and she fell for it.  Even though deep down... she wanted to tryout for the more coveted clubs and possibly make it as a DS or Lib... she thought otherwise.  Not worth it.  Regrets? Probably.  

Then it came time for TKA tryouts... something she was suppose to make for sure, because last year, the coach saved a spot for her.  But it's a new coach this year.  All the old promises were forgotten and she had to start from scratch.  Throughout summer... she was suppose to work on her legs and core.  Did she?? Questionable.  She keeps saying she has elevation and ups.... for her height, yes.  But against naturally tall girls, she can barely keep up.  And whatever bad habits she's built over the years... they're sticking out like a sore thumb.  

First day of tryouts... those that are tall and put in the hard work got offers right away.  NN had the whole weekend to sulk about it and hopefully buckle down and get locked in.  Day two of tryouts roll around... we pick her up... hoping to see a big smile... all we got was her shaking her head.  "I did so bad today."  And the rest of the night... the whole family kept scrolling and updating our phones, waiting for the announcement.  It wasn't until 10PM... we finally got the email.  

The coach originally wanted 12 players... NN made it as player #14.  She eek'ed by the skin of her teeth.  Probably because she knew the assistant coach.  Probably because she actually does have talent (despite the height).  Probably because she's a Jr that will get to play next year as a a Sr.  And probably because... divine intervention?  

Who knows.  But she has no where to go but up.  She has to claw and scratch and do whatever it takes to earn playtime.  Serving.  Defense. Diving.  Digging.  Every moment you get... you have to show you deserve to be out there.  Make it hard for the coach to bench you.  And maybe.... this will be that hurdle you trip on... but eventually, leap over.  With the culmination of bringing all glory and honor to our Lord and Savior.... 

Painful realities - SW version

 The reality is... both my kids are not physically built for volleyball... the one competitive sport they love.

SW has always had a giant heart.  Sweet Siu Wah.  Always looking out for others.  Never talking back.  Loves reading Garfield, but his first comment will be, "I feel bad for Odie." Life was never easy for him... but he's a fighter.  And I tried to arm him with all the tools needed to fight.

I purposely trained him to be a setter cuz that's a coveted spot regardless of height  And yet... it's still not good enough with setters these days being 5'8 - 5'9.  So he goes and tries out for lib... a position he's never played.   Last weekend... each of his friends and former teammates slowly got offers during the pre-tryouts.  Yes... they're good, but not great.  And one at a time... the numbers increased while SW just sat and wait.  

This weekend as the official tryouts... wasn't even worth going.  The whole weekend... driving from one gym to the next trying to maximize opportunities to shine.  "Coaches aren't even looking.  Whenever they're on my court, I'm in line."  The one club that all his friends want to play for... nothing.  The worst part is... the 3rd string setter from his old team made it.  3rd string!!!! SW is the setter-1.... and he got relegated to the 15-2's team.  Horrible.  Then on Sunday night... he and Kyle tried out for one last time.  SW told me he got an offer 15 minutes into the tryouts - which is great!! Someone recognized his talents.  But he turned it down... cuz the other players were bad.

Later that night... Kyle also turned down the offer thinking maybe his friend will come back to his original club with him.  Only to find out... Kyle is joining the rest of his friends at that new club.  I didn't know about this until the next morning when Joyce texted me and said, "SW was super sad last night."  I was completely drained.  Couldn't pay attention in the meeting.  Just sank in my seat and stared into space.

Why.... why do my kids have to go through this punishment??? Aren't they too young for such disappointment? Can't they form teams and play with their friends?? Why can't I have a bigger influence and sway... make my voice be heard in the volleyball community?? I hate this.  I hate the fact the kids have to go through this.  Yes... this will make them stronger.  Yes... eventually they'll have to face this.  And yes... they'll probably have a chip on their shoulder now which they can use in life in other ways. 

The silver lining is... SW did make it back to his old team and he'll probably have good playing time.  While most of his friends went to the new club... I'm confident SW can make new friends.  And there was also another TKA friend who recently discovered love for vball... .that has zero offers.  Those parents are going through what we went through 2 years ago.  And I get to advise them on next steps.  So hopefully... there'll be a happy ending for everyone.  But right now... that knife in my heart simply won't go away

They don't fit!!!!

Tried on a pair of jeans that's always been tight... and it was loose!!! I guess there's no real way to check other than wearing your own clothes... the clothes that don't fit... suddenly do... or they don't cuz they're too loose!! WOOHOO!! SUCCESS!!!

Diet and Cleansing

 Been on a fast and now moved onto a low carb/no carb atkins diet.  Approaching my 2nd week and the only time I've had any carbs (aside from fruit) is the few bites of rice and some lumpia at lunch the other day.  Tonight... decided to make some chickpea pasta with italian sausage.  

The first bite... you don't really think about it.  It just feels... crunchier.  Or more al dente.  Then after the 4th or 5th bite... something is definitely wrong.  This ain't pasta.  

Sigh... the things we do to ourselves to lose weight.  I guess if you eat it every day.. you won't realize it.  But we did.  And it's not really good. 

Beverage Tax

Apparently, in California (or the Bay Area), there's now a Beverage Tax... a tax on sweet and bubbly drinks.  Like the tobaccao and alcohol tax, this is trying to drive people away from drinking it but knowing it's an inelastic economy, people will keep drinking and the government will make some money on the side.

 

hey dad

 Went back to Monterey Church today... and the speaker started her closing prayer with, "Hey Dad..."  Never heard that before.  Hrm... it sounds blasphemous, and yet... that's probably how people felt when Jesus first uttered the words, "Our Father..."

Empty Nesters

 Both kids were off to LIFE conference... so we took advantage of being Empty Nesters and skiddaddled down to Monterey/Carmel for the weekend.

The weekend actually started on July 4th... where we first went shopping at the now debunking and soon to be run down Great Mall.  Geez...what happened to this place???  Seeing it was fruitless... we actually trekked up to Livermore Outlet and made a killing!! Wow that place has gone big and wide.  

Saturday we turned south and hit up Carmel... walked through the shops.. .stopped by the beach and got food poisoning from a local restaurant.  We first thought we weren't use to the freshness of the seafood... turns out... it was spoiled.  Cuz I was sick the entire day the next day too.

Sunday morning... woke up early and grabbed a hotel bike and along the coastline for a nice ride.  It was a beautiful ride and awesome scenery.  And the weather was perfect... a little nippy but warmed up as my body started to warm up.  We found the same church we went to a couple of years ago when we had an Empty Nest escapade... and spent the rest of the day walking through Cannery Row. 

The ride home was a bit trafficky... but since we weren't in much of a hurry... it was just more time in the car listening to podcasts and what not.  I can see myself doing more of these getwaways... 

801

I think the last time I went to a pricy steakhouse... I had such a bad experience I've steered clear of them.  Opted to test the waters again while in Denver.  Was gonna hit up old faithful, Shanahan's... but decided to try 801 Chophouse instead. 

Hmm.... maybe 3.5 out of 5 stars

The pancetta wrapped scallops had this weird tangy sauce that collided with the flavoring.  The pancetta overpowered the freshness of the scallops, which in my opinion, may have been undercooked.  

Brussel sprouts.  I remember hating the from back in the Kai Ming Headstart days.  I like them... don't love them now.  With the little pickled onions, it was a great balancer to the dining experience.

Temperature was perfect.  Seasoning was a bit off. Shoulda gone with the NY had I known it was going to be this soft and tender.  My bad.

Will I come back... probably not. 
 

Celebration of Life.... then a celebration of my life

Flew out to Denver for Juli's celebration of life.  And it was indeed a celebration... a little bit of tears, but they were, shall I say, happy tears.  Tears of grieving because we miss her.  Tears of sadness because we can't process the "why."  Tears of realization of how big an impact one can make on another's life.  The service wasn't particularly long or drawn out... and I actually expected more to attend, notably missing were friends and family of the kids. (Interesting side note.  But nothing of substance.). 

Thank you Juli, for the footprint you have left in my life.

Then that night... I had a celebration of my own life. One of my direct reports invited me to go white water rafting.  I hesitated a little... but said yes.  Almost regretting it... because water and I just don't mix.  As the day drew near... I got to thinking... if there's no life jacket.  I'm out.  If there's anything fishy.  I'm out.  If I'm at all uncomfortable... I'm out. 

Driving up to the starting point... we were side by side with the river.  And it wasn't no Level 3 Cache River.  This was easily a Class 4-5!! The river... was white!!!  Then as we drove... I got to hear that my DC's brother (the guide), qualified for the Olympic trials.  And when we got to our launching point, I saw a bunch of kids come off their 6-person rafts... and a bunch of middle aged professionals board their rafts.  So the river was "safe."  The gear was all there... including a full on wet suit.  So I shut down that voice inside my head and went with it.

Boy was I glad I did!!! Had so much fun.  Made a fool of myself.  I told the guys, "I've got 20 years on you!" but they didn't mind.  Almost fell out the raft a couple of times... but my DC grabbed me just in time.  And the scenery was epicly beautiful.  I can see why people would want to do this every day for the rest of their lives.

Definitely worth celebrating.

Hog island

Been a while since I hung out with mom... so decided to take her out to lunch.  I tried to find a nicer place, a different experience.  It's not always about the food... right? Picked Hog Island at the Ferry Building.  I figure there's enough to sample where SOMETHING's gonna hit. 

It was a short wait...and we ended up sitting at one of the bar tables.  It was private and quiet.  The food was delish for a tourist trap. 

 Only bad thing was the $108 beef jerky I had to eat...cuz the stupid parking app didn't work!! By the time I paid for parking.. it was already too late.  I think there's AI in those parking meters that alert metermaids when to come ticket you.  Pretty soon... you won't even need meter maids.  If you're parked and not paid... you'll get ticketed. 

Humble Bumble

 Two months after my highest high of crushing the Pecha Kucha... I was asked to present it to the Executive Leadership Team by my VP.  He meant well... to get me out in front of senior leaders.  And he was trying to showcase some of this organization's contributions.  But as the day drew near... the number of attendees started to dwindle.  From 15-20... down to 10... down to 4... down to 2.  Really, it was 1, because my VP heard it already. 

And I so royally bombed. 

Not my fault.  

It was the worst of worse situation... to a point where the one person audience harnessed all his politeness.. listened... got up... and left.  My VP felt so bad he texted me and apologized.  

I had a feeling this was gonna happen and it really is no hair off my back.  But still... doesn't feel good to be humbled this way.  

That phone call...

Was wrapping up a meeting and HR called.  They never call... they IM you first.  Something was up.

After an afternoon of swirl with some assumptions and expectations... Got another call.  This time during dinner and on my personal cell.  This time instead of HR, was my VP.  

"I've got some bad news to deliver."  

(No.  No no no!! Don't say it.)

"XXXXX has past away."

(NO!!!! This can't be real!!!!). 

In my mind... I thought that person may have had a stroke... maybe a mild heart attack.  Something that happens when you're around your late 40's / early 50's... and it just happens.  But you get better after a health scare and things get back to normal.

I was shocked.  

Just last week.. we were in meetings together.  We broke bread.  We even went out to dinner to talk about vacation... kids... life outside of work.  Ironically... this person even mentioned that their heart rate has been going up and needed to check it out.

I was shocked.  I didn't know how to act.  Gave my family a hug.  Cherish who I have.  I knelt down... said a prayer for the family.  Who knows what they're going through.

Then I texted my colleagues and friends, telling them if they want to talk, I'm here to listen.

Then I went for a walk.  I needed to "do something."  And about 0.25 mile into my walk... I looked up at the blue sky.  And uncontrollably uttered the words, "Thanks, XXXXX."  

Will wait till more details to come while continuing to process.

More Nola

 Went to Nathan's... very salty. I think I'll pass next time. 

Back to NOLA

 After about 3 months... I finally make it back to New Orleans.  The flight was.... odd.

Sat in front of a family with a young toddler and a newborn.  I was kinda glad that it was me.  I wouldn't have minded any noise or crying.  Let me bear that cross.

Ironically... another dad sat next to me.  I know he was a dad cuz I saw his wall paper on his phone.  As we started to roll to take off... the todder behind the middle seat started kicking the chair.  Uncontrollably.  I thought, "The parents will do something, right?" But they didn't.  Didn't hear a peep.  And the kicking continued.  Not sure what I would've done... even as patient as I am... I don't know if I can stand constant kicking of the chair.  And the dude finally said, in an annoyed yet polite way, "Can you please stop the kicking? Thank you."  

Not bad.  Forceful, but had the decency to say "please" and "thank you."  I know parents can't control everything... but that was definitely something they could've controlled.  

Then as we landed.... the lady and the toddler got up and crowded in the aisle way.  They were rarin' to get out of the plane.  Slowly... the people in front of us got up row by row... left then right.  And the mom and the toddler showed NO SIGNS of yielding.  The same dad whispered, somewhat loudly, to me, "So much for airplane etiquette."  I didn't know what to say.  Again... this was something the parents could control.  But it's a 2 year old that's been cramped up for 4.5 hours.  She wanted to stretch her legs.  I simply shrugged and said, "It's alright. Whatever."  

Then it got to the folks in front of us... the mom and toddler didn't even yield to them.  They sped and ran.  I slowly waited till they were done.  Then I wailed till the folks on the other side of the aisle got up and left.  Then I got up.... I looked at the dad who had the newborn in his hands.  His wife and daughter ditched them.  I told him, "Go ahead."  So he can catch up with this family.  And he so nobly said, "No.. it's ok.  You go."  And I replied... "No.. you go."  And he said, "Nah.. it's ok."  I didn't want to fight him and further delay our deboarding.  I guess the loud whisper worked.  But to what end????

Anyhoo... finally got to the car. Texted my colleague I won't join them for dinner and I made a stop at Pesces.  Ahhhh... home sweet home.  

Got the gumbo... which was extremely salty.  Will probably avoid it next time. 

The fried oysters and ground shrimp spicy pasta on the other hand... to die for!!!! 

And that's why I keep coming back.

Tough pill to swallow

 Day 2 of the Norcal Tournament…. And the boys were clearly hitting their stride.  They went back to their original rotation, with SW as setting and Rishab as middle.  We didn’t have any problems with the 1^st set of the 1^st match…. Playing a team that we’ve always played and never lost to.  We were up comfortably and needed one more point to win…. When SW decided to showboat (or play up) and served a topper to the top of the net.  Much to the dismay of all the parents, “Why!?!??!?!”  Luckily… that one little mishap didn’t turn into bad happenings.  We ended up beating Aspire Ninja handily… which goes to show how much the team has improved.

But in the finals of the Bronze bracket… after winning the 1^st set without breaking a set… everyone started fooling around.  The Coach played with the lineup to let other players play.  And after it went back and forth… back and forth… it started looking like this might not go our way.  One of the bystander parents even said, “Looks like this might go to 3.”  For some reason, we just couldn’t pull away.  Until… we finally did.  We were up by 3… and had all the momentum.  Then… one of the players decided to showboat, like SW did, and serve a topper.  His serve not only didn’t make it over the net… it actually hit one of our own players.  No worries.  We were still up by 2.  And then… things started unraveling.  One point after another… we kept messing up.  Simple, stupid mistakes.  The momentum… suddenly swung.  Even after a couple of couldn’t stop the avalanche.  23-25.  Lost the 2^nd set. 

No worries… we were clearly the better team.  We just need to hunker down and play like we played in the first set.  We got this.  For the 3^rd set… set went with our “3^rd set rotation – where we go 5:1.”  And within a blink of an eye… we were down 0-8.  Horrible passes.  Miscommunication between SW and the middle.  Ill-advised plays.  Everyone was just going the wrong way.  We eventually tied it at 11-11 and thinking… our experience can take us over the hill.  Not this time.  Not with the showboating.  Not with the series of bad and missed-calls from the refs.  The deck was stacked against us… the final score was 11-15.  One of the worst losses of this team’s history.  Almost as bad as being up 10-0 against MVVC and throwing it.  This was worst.  This was against a clearly worse team.  It was painful… it sucked…. And the boys had to wear it.  May it be a lesson learned in life… foot on the neck.  Strike first.  Strike hard. No mercy. 

End of an Era

 After 3 years of teaching ESL… I wrapped up… what is seemingly the last class I will ever teach.  At least the last class I’ll teach as a full time ESL teacher at SJCAC.  The traffic gets worse and worse.  And now that the kids aren’t serving in Tutoring… it makes it hard for me to go solo.  Add on the fact that Joyce has given me an unwritten quota of what I can do with my “spare” time… the time has come to invest in New Vine and no longer SJ. 

 I’ve always felt I had a knack for teaching.  With so many examples and role models in my life… I’ve tried to take the best from all the best… and then roll it together and make it my own.  I’ve had my own struggles.  I’ve tried things that made out like a lead balloon and fallen completely flat and failed.  But for every fail… I probably had over 10-20 wins.  Like how the Tuesday attendance were noticeably hire than the Thursday class.  Or how students flat out tell me they come because of me.  Or when one of the students I demoted tried to beg to stay… because in her broken English and my broken Spanish… she knew the difference in my teaching style. There will always be a special place in my heart for helping new immigrants.  How many angels have helped my family in the past… I long to be able to pay it forward and help someone else.  And perhaps… in some weird way… they too will end up helping someone else. 

 These past three years have been humbling, challenging, and rewarding.  I was able to serve together with N and SW… for a short time.  A lot of times, those 45 minute drives ended up being naps for them.  I can’t express the joy I have when I share a different bible verse each week… and see the students’ face light up when they feel the encouragement of God’s words.  I’ve been graced by the presence and efforts of many of the pillars of SJCAC.  Seeing how many of them have served in ESL for years if not decades… and they continue to bring it, week after week, year after year.  I am saddened to see some of our students come and go… some disappear because of jobs. But more recently, they disappear for other reasons. 

 I end ESL with the same bible verse that was come as an anthem for my time in this ministry… where I set my alarm to go off at 10:02PM every day… to pray the words of Luke 10:2.  “The harvest is plenty, but workers are few.”  How I long that there’ll be a surge and abundance of young adult teachers that will give up a weeknight to be part of this ministry… to be part of God’s vision. 

Crash and Burn

 Oh geez… easily one of the worst worship experience ever.  I blame myself for not practicing on my edrums at home.  I blame myself for not knowing 6/8.  I blame myself for trying to do too much.  I blame the lack of chemistry this team has with each other.  It was so bad… I couldn’t bring myself to listen to it again.  Let’s hope this is rock bottom.

Libbing

SW's team scrimmaged UVA today and he opted to play lib.  It was.... new.

He has the instincts but not the skills.  He knows where to go but not what to do.  He knows the basics but doesn't have the experience.  It simply doesn't fit.

His teammate that took over setting.  Same way.

The team did not do well, overall.

Parents are asking... "Why isn't SW setting?"   

Day of Reckoning

Today I came clean.

Glamping

 One of the perks of going to King’s is getting done with school earlier than most.  Last year, we went camping at Tahoe with the Tat’s and Yu’s.  I still have the bug from being outdoors, but knowing the family aren’t quite the outdoorsy type… decided to try glamping.  I typed in Grok, “Best Bay Area glamping” and was recommended to go to Wildhaven Sonoma.  A short 2 hour drive… with a fully furnished cabin with AC, heater, power, queen sized mattressed bed… community shower with hot water, propane grills, and individual camp fires.  There was also a private access to the Russian River – which we didn’t take advantage of. 

 My original plan was actually going white water rafting… but Joyce was against it… so we went kayaking down the Russian River instead.  It was a beautiful and wonderful idea.  To be in nature.  To see wild life.  To observe God’s creation.  It was wonderful…. For the first 30 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!  But the entire trek was 9 friggin miles!!!  I had no idea what 9 miles means.  Driving… it’s about 10-15 minutes.  Running… it takes about 1.5-2 hours.  But paddling… on a river… that doesn’t flow… under the hot sun.  Absolutely horrible!!! An hour into the trip… everyone was clearly tired and frustrated.  But there was no cutting the trip short.  You simply had to… finish what you’ve started.  And it being a long raft… it was hard to maneuver.  To a point where we zig zagged our way through.  When it was all said and done… we probably did collectively 13-14 miles of paddling and not 9. 

 The worst part of this trip…. I was never one to be afraid of feeding the bugs.  I know I get bitten, but my skin usually doesn’t react.  Whereas Joyce and Rachel get bumps and swells… SW and I are almost impenetrable.  So I sat outside the entire day and entire night.  I didn’t put on any bug spray.  I became… a smorgas board for the mosquitoes.  I literally could see them and feel them on my skin.  And now… I’m itching all over.  My legs.  My arm.  My face.  It’s so bad…. I get why some people don’t like the outdoors.  If this happened to me everytime I went camping… I wouldn’t want to go either.  But yet… I’m me.  Knowing what I know now… and what I can do to prevent it… I’ll only want to go back but be more prepared.  Maybe next time… we really can fulfill my dream of a whitewater rafting trip… with our without AC, power, or mosquitoes. 

Graduation

Most important thing about graduation... isn't the promotion... the two tassels that SW earned... the youth group and leaders showing up with a mispelled sign... mom and dad showing up together at the same function.  The most important thing is... Blaire Blan introduced SW to her mom!!!! But not vice versa!!  Reason being... we weren't around!! Bruh!!!!! 

Get my money's worth

We got this TV about a year before NN was born.  It was a deal… one of the last TV’s Toshiba made.  When I bought it from Best Buy… I did my research to a point where I drove up… found the sales man… and said, “I want this.”  I still remember him saying, “Wow… you know what you want, don’t ya?”  17+ years later… we finally have to bid farewell to old faithful.  It started kibutzing about 6-7 years ago.  Then about 3 years ago… it went out on us once.  We went to Costco to get a replacement… and upon coming home… plugged it in one last time to check before tossing it.  And amazingly…it came back to life.  The kids were so disappointed!!!  This time, we weren’t as lucky.  With TV’s having an estimated lifespan of 5-7 years…. Our TV lasted 3 times that.  We got our money’s worth.

 As we went to Costco… it was thrilling being able to grab, not a shopping cart, but a little flatbed.  And as we wheeled the TV through the crowds… we can sense the eyes of envy staring at us.  It was just a simple 55” OLED.  I bet some of the eyes were mocking at us… laughing for not buying a bigger TV.  It’s ok… this is a temporary TV until we move into a better home with a living room fit for a nicer TV.  Like the Toshiba… I look forward to this being another 15-17 year temporary TV. 

Under my wing

 One of my direct reports recently made manager… and he’s enrolled in a Front Line Leader course.  One of the assignment he has is to solicit comments from his team and peers.  Then process and digest the comments and create some sort of action plan.  I remember doing something like this when I first made Sr. Manager… and it was so natural for me to build a presentation that walked my boss through everything.  Was I wrong in expecting him to do the same? Not only did he not do the same… he was completely unprepared.  Was opening files left and right… pulling up empty PDF’s… moving files from one screen to another.  10 minutes into his presentation… I did what I’ve never done before.  I stopped his presentation.  I flat out told him… this is out of character.  He’s unprepared and this is not professional.  He’s wasting my time and wasting his own time.  After pulling a rug out from him.. I threw him a life jacket and said, “Run it back and we can do this again.” 

 He must’ve felt like crap the rest of the day.  That night, a Friday night mind you, he even texted me and apologized.  I decided to ignore it for one night… and let him stew on it a bit more.  The next morning, I replied, “It was a good meeting!  We shared... we talked... we learned.  I think it revealed some things in both our styles / approaches.  We'll both get better.” 

 I hate having that power trip… but with this power, also comes responsibility.  I’ve been entrusted with this young man to shape and mentor.  And that’s what I will do.

Dance Showcase - Showtime

 Annual dance showcase… and once again… NN’s class dominated.  There’s good… and there’s not so good.  And then, there’s simply great.  NN has always stood out as a dancer.  Ever since she was dancing for Arrows in the Christmas Performances, her natural abilities outshone her peers.  Throughout the years at TKA… her class would somehow end up with the best numbers.  This year was no exception.  And even in an off year… where I think the dance teacher is out of ideas or low on creative juice or distracted.   NN… ever having a chip on her shoulder for being overlooked or typecasted as the smaller, cute Asian, was given some major prominent roles this time.  NN sometimes wonders… how far she would go had we put her in formal training.  Forget regrets… or life is yours to miss. 

Talking talking talking

 Day 2 of NN’s last tournament of the season (that she can attend).  She already missed day 1 cuz of her AP exam. I hinted we can avoid the 2 hour drive… but she insisted.  I had a bunch of podcasts and songs prepared.  And then… we started talking and talking and talking some more.  She threw out memes about Trump and the Trade Wars, but everything she said lacked critical thinking of research.  I started explaining to her some of the math and data behind what was happening.  She was flabbergasted at how the world is shaped… how unfair the world is.  The talk then moved to relationships… family history… I gave her my view of recycling.  My pet peeves.  My view of church and religion.  At times, she got upset at me for making a hot take and being argumentative.  I didn’t take the bait… I simply explained how I can easily argue the other way, and probably win the argument.  But the point wasn’t to win… but to understand all sides… and make an informed decision, instead of believing what social media tells you in an IG short.  After a frustrating day on the courts… we grabbed a quick bite… picked up a Dutch Bros… and started on a 2 hour drive home.  And once again… we talked, talked, talked.  Didn’t even need to play any of the podcasts. 

 As much as I complain about these club trips… I truly, madly, deeply cherish every single one of these moments… these moments in time.

Performance Review

NN had her AP mock exam… so SW and I went over to shoot some hoops before picking up NN.  Last time… he went a little too far and trash talked a little too much.  This time, it was a lot friendlier.  We both won 1 game… could’ve played a third, rubber match.  But decided it to call it… and head over to 7-eleven to grab a slurpee.  It’s been a little rough since the mall incident and I wasn’t sure what we can talk about.  I decided to do a little “performance review” with him… asking him about his greatest strengths and biggest areas for improvement.  He must’ve been sensing the same tension because he answered without the usual sarcasm.  I was floored.  Then I went one step further… I asked him to rate me.  What are my great strengths and my areas of improvement.

Strengths: I’m well connected.  I can get things done.  I also have drive.  I will get things done. 

Areas of Improvement: be more modest.  Some times, I’m wrong… and I refuse to admit it. 

I thanked him for his honesty.  I think… as father and son… we’ve moved onto a new level of closeness.

Lunch with the Sons

 After Jeff’s bday lunch… and NN’s volleyball season wrapping up… had the sudden realization it was Mark’s bday.  And maybe it’s time for a get together.  We met up at good ol St. John’s.  Short and Stubbs haven’t changed.  If anything… he lost whatever weight he gained the last time we hung out.  Mel noticeably got a bit more… tired.  Anderson is Anderson.   Long gone are repeating the same jokes… replaced with conversations centered around aging parents and growing kids.  How did 30 years pass by so fast?

Thunder-snore

 Came home in time for SW’s 14^th birthday… and longing to do anything to please the kids these days, I threw the idea of out of watching a sneak preview showing of Thunderbolts… an MCU movie that SW was supposedly interested in. The 8PM showing was already sold out… so we opted for the 9PM showing.  With a two hour run time… three days of traveling… a dark room… a full, hearty dinner… it was the perfect formula for a nice $18 nap.  $36 if you count Joyce’s nap.  The kids loved the movie though… and really… that’s all that matters. 

Happy Birthday SW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pecha Kucha

For our leadership offsite… a bunch of the L6’s had to deliver a Pecha Kucha of our campaigns… The literal translation in Japanese is “chit-chat” but in actuality, is a 6 minute 40 second presentation of 20 slides, 20 seconds each.  The point is to delivery it Ted Talk style to captivate the audience with a short attention span.  For 6 weeks… all of us struggled with it.  In reality, we procrastinated.  But as the date drew near… we started fessing up with our slides and our scripts.  Our dry runs were great.  It seemed like everyone was amped up and ready. 

Then the offsite came and it was showtime.  One at a time… the L6’s started presenting.  And one at a time.. they all fell flat.  I hate to criticize and nit-pick… but all of the Pecha Kucha’s were so boring.  All the L6’s stood behind the podium. They read from a script.  They were lecturing.  Really!??!?! This is the best we can offer?

Day 2 of the offsite rolled around and it was my turn.  In fact… the VP moved me up in the schedule cuz of a conflict.  No problem… I was the smartest person in the room..  at least for the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds on this particular topic.  And in normal me… I did a little warm up to break the ice.  Made a couple of jokes in my deadpan, semi-serious self.  Then I kicked off my speech with an opening question… the Hook.  Almost the entire room raised their hand.  I asked my first question.  Juli piped up and answered to which I said, “You’re ruining it, Juli!!”  (laughter).  And I was off.  The slides were somehow messed up.. .but I improvised.  Never did I hide behind the podium.  I started on the stage… then I walked off.  Started walking around the room to engage.  Stopping every now and then and parked.  One joke after another… it killed.  There were times I blanked… but I kept going.  No one knew.  No one was of the smarter.  Then it came to the end.  I was wrapping up… I circled the floor… got back on the stage.  That’s when I shamelessly plagiarized West Wing – the “Run into the Fire” speech. 

“We will do what is hard.  We will achieve what is great.  And we will not waste another minute looking for missing socks.” 

I didn’t even say “Thank you.”  Flashed my last slide and the room erupted into applauds – with even some folks giving me a standing ovation.  Did my team proud.  Did my boss proud. I can eat all the humble pie and modest cake… but without a doubt… in that moment in time… I was the King of the World.