Graduation

Most important thing about graduation... isn't the promotion... the two tassels that SW earned... the youth group and leaders showing up with a mispelled sign... mom and dad showing up together at the same function.  The most important thing is... Blaire Blan introduced SW to her mom!!!! But not vice versa!!  Reason being... we weren't around!! Bruh!!!!! 

Get my money's worth

We got this TV about a year before NN was born.  It was a deal… one of the last TV’s Toshiba made.  When I bought it from Best Buy… I did my research to a point where I drove up… found the sales man… and said, “I want this.”  I still remember him saying, “Wow… you know what you want, don’t ya?”  17+ years later… we finally have to bid farewell to old faithful.  It started kibutzing about 6-7 years ago.  Then about 3 years ago… it went out on us once.  We went to Costco to get a replacement… and upon coming home… plugged it in one last time to check before tossing it.  And amazingly…it came back to life.  The kids were so disappointed!!!  This time, we weren’t as lucky.  With TV’s having an estimated lifespan of 5-7 years…. Our TV lasted 3 times that.  We got our money’s worth.

 As we went to Costco… it was thrilling being able to grab, not a shopping cart, but a little flatbed.  And as we wheeled the TV through the crowds… we can sense the eyes of envy staring at us.  It was just a simple 55” OLED.  I bet some of the eyes were mocking at us… laughing for not buying a bigger TV.  It’s ok… this is a temporary TV until we move into a better home with a living room fit for a nicer TV.  Like the Toshiba… I look forward to this being another 15-17 year temporary TV. 

Under my wing

 One of my direct reports recently made manager… and he’s enrolled in a Front Line Leader course.  One of the assignment he has is to solicit comments from his team and peers.  Then process and digest the comments and create some sort of action plan.  I remember doing something like this when I first made Sr. Manager… and it was so natural for me to build a presentation that walked my boss through everything.  Was I wrong in expecting him to do the same? Not only did he not do the same… he was completely unprepared.  Was opening files left and right… pulling up empty PDF’s… moving files from one screen to another.  10 minutes into his presentation… I did what I’ve never done before.  I stopped his presentation.  I flat out told him… this is out of character.  He’s unprepared and this is not professional.  He’s wasting my time and wasting his own time.  After pulling a rug out from him.. I threw him a life jacket and said, “Run it back and we can do this again.” 

 He must’ve felt like crap the rest of the day.  That night, a Friday night mind you, he even texted me and apologized.  I decided to ignore it for one night… and let him stew on it a bit more.  The next morning, I replied, “It was a good meeting!  We shared... we talked... we learned.  I think it revealed some things in both our styles / approaches.  We'll both get better.” 

 I hate having that power trip… but with this power, also comes responsibility.  I’ve been entrusted with this young man to shape and mentor.  And that’s what I will do.

Dance Showcase - Showtime

 Annual dance showcase… and once again… NN’s class dominated.  There’s good… and there’s not so good.  And then, there’s simply great.  NN has always stood out as a dancer.  Ever since she was dancing for Arrows in the Christmas Performances, her natural abilities outshone her peers.  Throughout the years at TKA… her class would somehow end up with the best numbers.  This year was no exception.  And even in an off year… where I think the dance teacher is out of ideas or low on creative juice or distracted.   NN… ever having a chip on her shoulder for being overlooked or typecasted as the smaller, cute Asian, was given some major prominent roles this time.  NN sometimes wonders… how far she would go had we put her in formal training.  Forget regrets… or life is yours to miss. 

Talking talking talking

 Day 2 of NN’s last tournament of the season (that she can attend).  She already missed day 1 cuz of her AP exam. I hinted we can avoid the 2 hour drive… but she insisted.  I had a bunch of podcasts and songs prepared.  And then… we started talking and talking and talking some more.  She threw out memes about Trump and the Trade Wars, but everything she said lacked critical thinking of research.  I started explaining to her some of the math and data behind what was happening.  She was flabbergasted at how the world is shaped… how unfair the world is.  The talk then moved to relationships… family history… I gave her my view of recycling.  My pet peeves.  My view of church and religion.  At times, she got upset at me for making a hot take and being argumentative.  I didn’t take the bait… I simply explained how I can easily argue the other way, and probably win the argument.  But the point wasn’t to win… but to understand all sides… and make an informed decision, instead of believing what social media tells you in an IG short.  After a frustrating day on the courts… we grabbed a quick bite… picked up a Dutch Bros… and started on a 2 hour drive home.  And once again… we talked, talked, talked.  Didn’t even need to play any of the podcasts. 

 As much as I complain about these club trips… I truly, madly, deeply cherish every single one of these moments… these moments in time.

Performance Review

NN had her AP mock exam… so SW and I went over to shoot some hoops before picking up NN.  Last time… he went a little too far and trash talked a little too much.  This time, it was a lot friendlier.  We both won 1 game… could’ve played a third, rubber match.  But decided it to call it… and head over to 7-eleven to grab a slurpee.  It’s been a little rough since the mall incident and I wasn’t sure what we can talk about.  I decided to do a little “performance review” with him… asking him about his greatest strengths and biggest areas for improvement.  He must’ve been sensing the same tension because he answered without the usual sarcasm.  I was floored.  Then I went one step further… I asked him to rate me.  What are my great strengths and my areas of improvement.

Strengths: I’m well connected.  I can get things done.  I also have drive.  I will get things done. 

Areas of Improvement: be more modest.  Some times, I’m wrong… and I refuse to admit it. 

I thanked him for his honesty.  I think… as father and son… we’ve moved onto a new level of closeness.

Lunch with the Sons

 After Jeff’s bday lunch… and NN’s volleyball season wrapping up… had the sudden realization it was Mark’s bday.  And maybe it’s time for a get together.  We met up at good ol St. John’s.  Short and Stubbs haven’t changed.  If anything… he lost whatever weight he gained the last time we hung out.  Mel noticeably got a bit more… tired.  Anderson is Anderson.   Long gone are repeating the same jokes… replaced with conversations centered around aging parents and growing kids.  How did 30 years pass by so fast?

Thunder-snore

 Came home in time for SW’s 14^th birthday… and longing to do anything to please the kids these days, I threw the idea of out of watching a sneak preview showing of Thunderbolts… an MCU movie that SW was supposedly interested in. The 8PM showing was already sold out… so we opted for the 9PM showing.  With a two hour run time… three days of traveling… a dark room… a full, hearty dinner… it was the perfect formula for a nice $18 nap.  $36 if you count Joyce’s nap.  The kids loved the movie though… and really… that’s all that matters. 

Happy Birthday SW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pecha Kucha

For our leadership offsite… a bunch of the L6’s had to deliver a Pecha Kucha of our campaigns… The literal translation in Japanese is “chit-chat” but in actuality, is a 6 minute 40 second presentation of 20 slides, 20 seconds each.  The point is to delivery it Ted Talk style to captivate the audience with a short attention span.  For 6 weeks… all of us struggled with it.  In reality, we procrastinated.  But as the date drew near… we started fessing up with our slides and our scripts.  Our dry runs were great.  It seemed like everyone was amped up and ready. 

Then the offsite came and it was showtime.  One at a time… the L6’s started presenting.  And one at a time.. they all fell flat.  I hate to criticize and nit-pick… but all of the Pecha Kucha’s were so boring.  All the L6’s stood behind the podium. They read from a script.  They were lecturing.  Really!??!?! This is the best we can offer?

Day 2 of the offsite rolled around and it was my turn.  In fact… the VP moved me up in the schedule cuz of a conflict.  No problem… I was the smartest person in the room..  at least for the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds on this particular topic.  And in normal me… I did a little warm up to break the ice.  Made a couple of jokes in my deadpan, semi-serious self.  Then I kicked off my speech with an opening question… the Hook.  Almost the entire room raised their hand.  I asked my first question.  Juli piped up and answered to which I said, “You’re ruining it, Juli!!”  (laughter).  And I was off.  The slides were somehow messed up.. .but I improvised.  Never did I hide behind the podium.  I started on the stage… then I walked off.  Started walking around the room to engage.  Stopping every now and then and parked.  One joke after another… it killed.  There were times I blanked… but I kept going.  No one knew.  No one was of the smarter.  Then it came to the end.  I was wrapping up… I circled the floor… got back on the stage.  That’s when I shamelessly plagiarized West Wing – the “Run into the Fire” speech. 

“We will do what is hard.  We will achieve what is great.  And we will not waste another minute looking for missing socks.” 

I didn’t even say “Thank you.”  Flashed my last slide and the room erupted into applauds – with even some folks giving me a standing ovation.  Did my team proud.  Did my boss proud. I can eat all the humble pie and modest cake… but without a doubt… in that moment in time… I was the King of the World.  

 

Of little patience

 NN had her Life Conference car wash fund raising and I dropped her in the morning… thinking I can get my car washed also.  I was the first car there… but they were still setting up on the basketball courts so I parked on the side and waited for the markers or traffic directors.  10 minutes before they opened for business…this lady drives onto the basketball court… going the opposite way I would’ve expected the car wash queue to go.  But the Youth Leaders didn’t correct her.  They started washing her car.  Pretty soon… a second car came.  And a third.  All facing… what I consider… the wrong direction.  Whatever…  they’ll regret it later.  Lemme get in line…. I was 4^th. 

 I brought my laptop with me and sat on the side to do work.  But after a long time of waiting… and seeing people who came after me already leaving… I got curious.  What was taking so long??? OMG…. What a friggin disaster.  No order.  No process.  No line.  Cars were now parked facing in two directions.  My car was not even touched.  There was one person spraying with water…. And about 10 youths who’ll jump onto soap the car.  Then those same 10 youth will walk over to dry the car.  Then they’ll vacuum the car.  So inefficient.  So impractical. 

 NN saw me… and told me that I should go to lunch and come back.  I looked at her in bewilderment.  No!! I got here 4^th… I should leave 4^th.  Her excuse was… some cars that came late have to leave.  Ok… we’re a Christian organization.  I get it that some people have a schedule to maintain… but still, how about maintain the integrity of order.  I made an audible gasp… and started talking loudly to people that were also waiting… saying how long I’ve waited.  I loudly say… “I don’t need to get it washed… I’ll just donate and leave.”  Making sure the other Youth Leaders heard me.  And making sure everyone knew I was annoyed.

 I was now standing there staring the Youth leader down.  Poor guy.  He was overwhelmed.  He was spraying cars down.  Moving cars out of the way.  Giving directions to his crew.  He bit off more than he can chew.  And with the 3^rd and 4^th car still sitting there… he walks over and starts spraying down a later coming mini-van.  The owner of the van was next to me…  and I lose it.   I call out to the other Youth Leader and say, “Can my car be next?”  Preposterous!!!

 After the wash… which I will say, was done fairly well… they still needed to vacuum.  NN said, “It’ll be another 45 minutes.” And she probably wasn’t wrong… so I told the Youth Leader… “I don’t need a vacuum.  Here’s my donation.  Thanks!!”  And I drove off and leave.  As I was leaving… I hear NN talk to that Youth leader within earshot… “My dad needs to have more patience.”   I was gonna get out of the car and make a scene…. But decided to swallow it and just let it be. 

 Patience my @$$.  This was utter buffoonery. 

 

The Chasm

 That chasm between me and SW is growing wide and fast… and it’s a tsunami that I simply can’t stop nor do I wish to weather. 

 After practice… NN wanted to go shopping at Valley Fair.  So we went for lunch and immediately after lunch, she pulls Joyce to go Mommy/Daughter shopping while I was left with SW.  I immediately got worried…. And pulled Joyce aside.  “What do I do with him??” I don’t like shopping… nor do I know how to shop for a teenage boy.  She said, “You guys can go home if you want.  Come pick us up later.”  I exhaled…. and took the opportunity to bond with my son.

 I had some high hopes… went from one store to another.  Tried pointing out interesting clothes for him to try.  Tried drawing remarks from him or things to discuss to which I was volleyed sarcasm or silence.  He seemed disinterested in every thing I wanted him to try.  Either I have no sense for fashion (possibly).  Or he has zero interest in shopping (maybe).  Or he simply doesn’t know how to pick clothes or accept clothes his dad picks for him.  And doesn’t know that he can go try-them-on and check himself out in the mirror.  Ugh… after about 4-5 stores, I got sick of the routine.  So I clammed up.  I told him to lead… and I’ll follow.  It got really icy.  He knew I was happy… but he didn’t want to rock the boat any further.  So he reluctantly walked around the mall a few more times.  We didn’t talk.  We didn’t joke.  It ended with him waving the white flag…. “I’m done.”  I mirrored his surrender and decided to find a place to simply sit and wait for the ladies.  

 We found these soft cushy chairs in the middle of the mall and sat down.  Both of us busted out our devices and tried to kill time.  I texted Joyce, “911 – don’t know how to shop with him.”  She aptly replied… “Bring him to me, I can take him.”  I was so despondent.  I’m the “fun” parent.  But I couldn’t find a way to connect with my son.  There use to be an Apple store and Microsoft store that can help us kill time.  But that was when he was younger… without his personal device.  There’s a Bowlero there…but we’re sick of arcades at this point.  So we just sat.  Sat.  Sat.  Sat.  Finally enough time passed where lunch wore away… and I said, “Let’s get some pretzels.” 

 Anything to break the monotony of sitting…. We walked to map and looked for Wetzel Pretzel.  Found it.  And I told him to lead.  We walked in circles for a good 10 minutes.  After the third time around the same section… I finally piped in.  “Do you even know where we’re going?!”  And that’s when the fun began.  We found another map…. And this map… for whatever reason… showed a different location for Wetzel.  I pulled out my phone and found a third location for Wetzel.  Ok… confirmed it still exists.  But where is it???

 SW proposed he’ll race me to it… and off he dashed.  No idea where he think he was going.  But I knew exactly where I was headed…. The same ol place it’s been the past 10-15 years.  I purposely walked slowly… to give him a chance to beat me.  After taking the long, scenic route… I arrived there.  But SW was no where to be found!!  5 more minutes passed and he finally called.  Apparently… he ran around the 2^nd floor twice and still couldn’t find it.  Ok… the laughter came back. The fun was back. 

 I guess deep down… he wants exactly what I want.  To have fun again.  But he also didn’t know how.  Poor guy… full fledge teenager.  Wanting to be Fonzie cool… but deep down… he’s still Richie Cunningham… looking for a thrill on that blueberry hill.  Sigh…