It's been years since I've stepped foot in a Catholic Church. The last service I went to was Cathleya's baptism... and I think Nn may have just been born if not still in the womb. The last full-up mass I remember going to was probably Chris and Mel's wedding (lo and behold...Cathleya's parents!)
A few weeks ago... Mark invited us to Gabriel's baptism. I got there a bit early (actually...it was right on time per the invite) and the previous mass just ended. As I stood in the baking sun waiting for the parishoners to depart so we can enter.... out streamed a marching band of neatly dressed, uniformed altar servers. Being unbiased with agenda... they were all girls. Each and everyone.
A girl held the cross. A bunch of girls followed with torches and candles. Then a girl walked behind them holding a book. Where were the boys?!?
Knights of the Altar....as we referred to ourselves. It was once a glory...and prestige...an honor to dawn the cassock and surplice. For me, personally, I truly thought serving a priest was serving Jesus. I genuinely felt that I was much closer to Jesus and the tabernacle....the bread and wine...than the common folks who sat in the pews.
It's been around 18 years since the melo-dramatic departure of big bro and I from SSPP. And throughout the years... I sometimes think back and realize... I was just a pawn in the whole chessmatch. I was too young and naive to really have stance. And without the passion or tendency... I didn't really fight one way or another. It was just...the thing to do, to oppose authority. But was it really worthed...was it really the correct thing to do? I think deep down... the answer is No...and Heck No. I think I was mislead... misguided with my agenda misaligned. It's not about us... it's not about this little fraternity. It's about serving God, giving Him all the glory, and at the same time...being submissive to our ordained leaders.
A lot has happened in 18 years. The whole Catholic Priest sex scandal.... my own maturing and conversion to Evangelical Christianity (still can't bring myself to say I'm a protestant...HA!)... realization that tweenage girls actually are better suited for mass and serving... and the fact that nobody cares.....
If only time travel were real..... if only.....
No comments:
Post a Comment