This one hurts. It hurts differently than 2013. And it hurts a little less than 2002. Maybe cuz.. I was prepared for it this time.
At approximately 3:30... I drove off. Took my little Miata and just started driving. Had no destination, had no goal. Just driving. I didn't want to turn on the radio for music... for fear of any local DJ's giving any highlights. So I relied on old faithful... the cassette tape deck. And ironically... the only tape I had was 學友's "不老的傳說." Couldn't help but smile (snarl) when 怎麼捨得你 came on. Followed shortly by 冷靜.
Drove up 85... up 101... across 92.... and came back down 880. I was careful to not look at my phone. What if Anderson and Gonzo texted me?? For a moment there, I saw a barrage of texts. I ignored it. But I couldn't really. Every now and again... I'll peer over and there'll be more texts popping up. Who was it?!?!? What were they texting about?!?!?
About 5PM, I finally pulled over to see which text group it was coming from. Blah... "Eden Fellowship." What could they possibly be saying right now?? Then I saw something that I shouldn't have seen, "It's only halftime." What does that mean?!??! Does that mean we're in the lead???? And we shouldn't underestimate the enemy??? Does that mean they're ahead??? And we have 2 quarters left to come back?!??!? My mind went flying!!!!!
I couldn't handle this. I went grocery shopping. Went to an Asian market to escape any mentions of sports. Took extra long strolling up and down the aisle. The only person wearing red... was someone with an old-skool Nintendo shirt. I dragged out my time there and it was close to 6. So I walked across the lot to 85 deg for some bread...when I passed by a Hot Pot restaurant. They had a TV. The TV was showing the game. The game was showing the score. 13-10 Niners. 3rd Quarter.
SH*T!!!! We weren't losing!!! It's a close game!!! Low scoring game!!! Then I started timing myself. How much longer do I have to stay out??
I started driving home. Then I realized... I needa go to Costco. Since 2010, driving to Costco has been our good luck charm. I drove to Costco halfway through Game 6 of the 2010 NLCS. I drove there in Game 5 of the NLDS against the Reds when Posey hit the Grand Slam. So I made a detour to Costco. Then I needed a place to sit for an hour. Where to???? Philz Coffee. Perfect.
I drove back home... found Philz. Was hoping to sit there and read for an hour. But when I pulled up, the place was packed!!! For sure there'll be people watching the game on their phone. I can't go there. So I pulled out and found an empty bank. I pulled into the lot and saw another text fly by. "That's the game. I'm calling it!" What!?!? What just happened?!??!
I couldn't wait anymore... turned on my phone and saw, 20-10 Niners, with 11 minutes left in the 4th!! OMG.... is this happening!?!?!? But I can't get ahead of myself. I can't go home yet.
I drove home... parked and just sat there. It was around 6:25. I laid my car seat down and rested, saying I won't check my phone until 6:30. Closed my eyes... and after what seemed like forever.... I check my phone. 6:27. TWO MINUTES?!?!? TWO FREAKIN MINUTES?!?!?!?
This is nuts... I'm going nuts. Too intense. I tossed. I turned. I put SW's jacket over my head. Checked my phone again... 6:28. That's it.... needa check. 20-17 Niners. We had the ball. There was 6 minutes left. A few days ago... I told Carole the final score was gonna be '20-17." Am I going to come down as prophetic???? Is this going to happen??!?!
I can't sit here. I can't wait 6 minute worth of football.... or 30 minutes worth of real time. So I went for a walk.... in 45 deg weather. I had my Niner jacket. My Niner beanie. My Niner scarf. Wearing my TO jersey. I was strolling up and down the streets of my neighborhood. Popped in my headphones and started walking. I was shivering... from nerves or from the cold? I needed to walk strategically. Can't walk by a household with a viewing party. Then out of no where, I hear a ROAR. Was that a good roar or bad roar?!?!?? What happened?!?!?
I told myself... I'll go into the house with 5 minutes lead and if we're leading. I'll go in the house by 6:45PM. I told myself... 2 more songs. Just 2 more songs. Got through the first song... then the 2nd song started... and I found myself starting to pace... then jog... then run. I needed to keep moving. I couldn't stay still. Why was the 2nd song so long??!?! GEEZ!!!!!
Finally... the song was over. Time to check.... and then... the world fell silent. My heart stopped beating. My lungs stopped moving. For a brief second there... I was numb, without thought, without feeling, without consciousness. That brief second past.... and I was blasted by a 100 poisonous darts. Poking my eyes, my arms, my legs, my stomach. I couldn't breath. I felt dizzy. I needed to lean on something solid. 24-20 Chiefs. 2 minutes to go.
In my mind... "We don't have the Offense. We don't have the Quarterback. We don't have what it takes." Yet... in the far reaches of forgetful realms... there was the image of Montana to Taylor in XXIII. So I collected myself... prevented hyperventilation. I ripped off my beanie and scarf cuz I was soaked with sweat. I needed a radio. I need to hear this LIV.
Got to the car.... turned it on just in time to hear Jimmy G to Kendrick Bourne. Threw it high!! But he hauled it in. Jimmy is nervous. He's throwing it high... AGAIN!!! Then 1st down (batted). 2nd down (tipped, nearly intercepted). 3rd down..... he overthrows Emmanuel "Effin" Sanders who was wide open. The one guy we traded for in mid-season to bolster our receiving core. The one guy that was the missing piece of this offense. It was the perfect bookend to a perfect story. And alas.... the perfect story fell to Andy Reid. 4th down.... sacked/incomplete pass. Game Over.
The last words I heard from Greg Papa were, "This ain't over yet...there's a minute left on the clock."
Turned the ignition off. I was a man walking without a soul. Went to the trunk, grabbed the groceries and made the final 10 steps into the garage. Walked in the house... dropped my bag and the groceries... and head to my room. "Did we win?!?!" Nn asked.... I ignored her and kept walking. The longest... loneliest walk since.......
"We'll win next year Daddy." I didn't look back. I didn't have the heart to tell her.... "No, NN, there is no next year. It's this year and that's it. You don't know how hard it is to get here. How many strokes of luck we needed. Lightning in bottles. Other players getting hurt. The ball bouncing this way or that. No, NN. 7 years ago.... if you said "next year", that too would have never happened."
25 years since XXIX. Scratch that. Make that 26. I don't have many years left in me. I can't do this anymore. I hate sports. I hate Jimmy G. I hate the Niners. I'm going to give up my season tickets. The heck with this. I want my life back. I want my dignity back. I want my Sunday afternoons back. I want my money back. I want.... a freaking Lombardi Trophy damnit!!!!!!!!!!!
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