Gollum-ing

Is that a term? If not... can I coin it?  The act of when... you good side is arguing with your evil side. 

Typical ESL Tuesday... but I was running late... so I actually joined the teachers for dinner.  Dinner which selfless brothers and sisters make (from scratch) and bring (through traffic).  I got there late and there was enough for maybe 1-2 people.  I gladly ate half a portion... in case someone was running later than me.

Then one of the student helpers (not a teacher), saw that I was done.  He picked up a tray and scooped up the rest of the noodles... maybe his 2nd plate... but this time, piling it 2-3x higher than my measly little plate.  Immediately, I felt a surge of emotion rush up, thinking, "Dude... you're not even a teacher!"  And I wanted to tell the person in charge... to remind the students they can come eat... but let teachers get first dibs.  

I didn't say anything... went back to minding my own business when a teacher walked in late.  He took a look at what was left in the tray... and scraped off about half the size of my small portion.  Leaving just a tiny bit.... when yet... another teacher walks in even later.  Takes a look and realizes there's a few pieces of veggies left.

The kind family who made and brought the food was watching and observing... and they reacted the way I did.  But spoke to me in Mandarin... saying, "Teachers haven't even eaten yet.  He got seconds and got so much!!"  

In a 180... I tried to calm them down and diffuse the situation saying, "He's a student helper.  We're one big family."  And "You're cooking is just too good to resist!"  We were speaking in Chinese... but the Hispanic Pastor can probably read the room and body language.  He stepped over to the dude... and said a few words in Spanish.  Everybody saw what happened.  

Here I am... in an out of body experience... lecturing that kind family or in this case, lecturing myself... or as I would call it, gollum-ing.