Grand Salami

Sunday evening... the rays raining down on us.  Bases loaded.  Bottom of the 6th, 2 outs.  The count is 2-0.  This happened.

Sad thing was... I lost track of the ball and didn't even know where it went.  New Vine won our first game of the season.  My son was there to witness it.  My girl was in the stands. One of the best moments of my life.  

Poignancy hits hard

Spent the day with mom to help her post cataract surgery.  Lots of driving... lots of caretaking... more than I expected.  She was literally blind as a bat this morning when I got there up till her dressings were removed. 

I actually gave myself plenty of time and expectation to spend the day there with the goal of organizing her kitchen which never seems to not smell like TCM or mildew when I walk in.  And as I was pointing out all the plaees that were messy or disorganized... and mom parried with the reason why things are the way things are... she finally sat down on the sofa.  Defeated.  Didn't want to argue anymore.  And started reflecting on how she wants to clean.  

Including... all the games and toys she had on her shelf.  And how all these years... she's been longing and waiting for us to visit her, so the kids can have something to do.  Or she can gift them with the toys and games.  But we never visited.  Or when we did... I was busy troubleshooting while the kids were on their devices.  And now that they're high school and college age... it's past that age ready to be trashed.  

She didn't say that out of shame... but just matter of fact.  And it's the matter of fact... that hits harder than targeted shame.

World Class Epic Fail

I don't ask for much... I really don't.  I just want the family to have a good time.  Create core memories.

This Sunday... after a couple of weeks of an icy, cold war, at home, I thought about taking everyone down to San Pedro Square for a nice lunch and then over to the MLK library for a Comic Book museum.  A nice Sunday afternoon, stress free, family time. 

Only for me to realize much later... that it's the World Cup Finals!!! Against my better judgement, I decided to go anyways.... and it turns out... traffic was horrible.  I dropped the family off first... but the place was over-capacity and not letting people in.  It was hot... they were hungry... lots of walking and crowds.  I got hangry and frusturated and snapped at them.  It made it for a very quiet lunch.

Then things got better after we refueled.... we walked to the library... got to the 5th floor for the exhibit only to see that it's closed on Sundays!! OMG.... all that walking and waiting.  

So soften the overall blow... we drove to HeyTea which was BOGO if you brought any ball to order.  The line was soooo long and slow... it took us 40 minutes to order.  Then it took another 45 minutes to get our order.  

俗語有雲：頭頭碰著黑。 That's how I felt today....

And to cap it off.... went 1 for 2 with like 3 errors playing Short today.  OMG.... when does this freefall stop!!!

Wasted opportunity

Picked up SW from open gym today and for some reason... I started sharing about my recent woes and depression.  I didn't exactly phrase it that way... but summarized it to the likes of "It's been a rough couple of weeks. You try to find a song on the radio, and nothing fits.  You doom scroll, and there's nothing to watch.  You want to do stuff, but you're just not motivated."

He responded by sharing... "That's when you gotta lock in, go for a run.  Or set up a playlist.  And let the playlist carry your run."  

At that time... I didn't realize how serious he got, cuz I got quiet.  I drawed him in.  He leaned in.  And when he did, I yelled, "龜波氣功！"  It startled him and he laughed thinking how funny it was.

Later tonight... I realized... SW was actually maturing up and opening up to share in my problems.  Dad has issues too.  And he was empathetic and willing to bear my burden.  And here I ruined it with a stupid joke.  Typical me... wasted opportunity. 

For the first time

Met NN’s boyfriend’s parents, officially, for the first time. Well.. .I’ve kinda known them for years from various SJCAC capacities. But it was the first time for Joyce.

Then at dinner… NPY (aka Nippy) chose to sit next to me. That was brave of him.. but valor pays off. A great first impression. Actually.. I’ve known about the Sihoe boys for years. Not of the rest of the boys… particularly during the all church retreat, they did the ropes course with their parents. And c’mon… with names like Caleb and Gideon, how do you not know them. In terms of church boys… I think we hit the jackpot. Maybe God bless… and continue to nourish this relationship.

Depression Mounts Again

 This all too familiar feeling of suffocation.  I can’t shake it.  I can’t ignore it.  This is the third one the past month… and there’ll probably be more.  They deserve it.  I should be happy for them.  And yet.. I’m here wallowing in my own sorrows or even pity that I will never be that man.  Maybe I’m not.  Maybe I’m not all that I think I am.  I compare… and I can’t help but think, why not me?   Too familiar are these feelings.. when the kids didn’t make the sports teams’ cuts.  I know that gut punch suffocation… and there literally is nothing that can help me breathe.

Family Getaway

It’s always an adventure in it of itself… to go on a family getaway… and / or a family getaway with Grace and her kids.  To start things off… as we rolled off the driveway… I said a prayer that we don’t get into a fight.  To which NN smiles and admits… it’s usually me and her that get into a fight.  How sad.

 All summer… I’ve been apprehensive about this trip.  Going to a lake… where we’re not big into water sports… and in an Airbnb that I know absolutely nothing about.  The silver lining my friends told me… was I can get some quiet / down time to catch up on reading or to disconnect. 

 Living in an Airbnb presents its own challenges… the sharing of rooms, beds, bathrooms, kitchen space, living space, and fridge space.  I can’t say enough of how much we are different family units that can come together and share. But there are also lines that you never expect to lay that are crossed… such as bringing a pack of 24 eggs.. .and within 2 days, only 5 were left.  Or the tub of butter that was nearly gone after 3 days.  Or the 24 cans of soda and 24 cans of Chi… that was nearly completely wiped out.  Geez louise… how much do people eat? And then…there was the who mix up of making steak.  I didn’t want to make it.  Didn’t want ot bbq it… and then I was asked to do it… only to find out it wasn’t even marinated!!!  Omg…. The little things.  But those little things are quickly overshadowed by greater things… the core memories that are created.

 Dining and laughing with family is priceless.  Mah jong as a family is priceless.  SW… unexpectedly growing up to be the cool favorite cousin is unexpected.  And I’m totally utterly completely outmatched in Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros…. My two little nephews are not that little anymore.  They’re still sweet as can be… and have their moments.  Don’t know how much longer they’ll want to hang out with us.

Super Girl

Bravely ventured out to the city to check up on mom cuz of a local power outage. I take for granted how people can, or in many cases, can not communicate. But whatever… no harm no foul. Was able to make it out to the city with the entire family… found mom at the HPOE… got her what she needed, mostly, and headed to the old AMC1000. The remnants of this place and a ghost of what it use to be… long gone are those happy memories and good ol days. Here to stay… is a creepy theater where they don’t even have concierge to sell snacks… bu you havet to go back down to the 2nd floor of a 9 floor theater to pay. And then there’s the movie it self… omg… I want my 108 minutes back. What an abomination of story telling and movie making. I had such high hopes for this story after the end of Super Man. Where you don’t have to stick with the boring story of a mild-mannered reporter that’s there to defend goodness. You can spin this into a dark, self discovery, coming of age alien movie. Instead… it was a snoozer that completely wasted the set up and the actors. Even mom… with her lowered standards… gave a chronicle man sleeping or empty chair. So disappointed in this…. and all the summer movies. Worst of all… after watching so many trailers for Odyssey… I feel like skipping out on that venture and go straight towards spidey and then doomsday.

Sci-Fi just not my jam....?

Finished a book called Piranesi…. A sci-fi/fantasy book recommended by a colleague/co-worker. I powered through it and finished it… but not at any moment, would I say this is a good readable book. On reddit.. this book is one that is polarizing… either you love it or hate it. I’m in the latter camp. But this gives me hope… that if I can power through this, I can / might power through war and peace

The Bonds Treatment

In 2004... Barry Bonds drew a historic and unprecedented 120 intentional walks.  The opposing team was so afraid of his bat, they rather put him on base and let his teammates earn their pay and make them pay.  As fans... we would boo... cuz we paid to go watch Bonds hit.

Yesterday... I got my first taste of the Bonds Treatment aka Operation Cluck.  My first AB... I nearly cranked a HR to right field.  Second AB... the outfielders started stepping back... and I hit a standup triple, probably could've made it home had the 3B coach not held me up.  I come up for my third AB... and the outfielders are now so far out I can bloop a single and turn it into a triple.   That's how much fear I've struck in them.  

Then came the treatment.  Low.  Low.  Didn't even make the plate.  Outside corner - my only pitch to hit. Way outside.  The pitcher didn't even give me a chance.  Wave those rubber chicken folks!!!! 

Behind the Wheel Training

A couple days ago... NN had her first behind the wheel training.  The first 2 of her minimum 6 hours before she can take the road test.  She came back all smiles and self-deprecating, which is fine and expected.  

Then today... when going to pick up SW from practice... I let her drive while riding on the driver side.  Gave her a few tips on braking, accelerating through turns, drifting... but goodness gracious... it was scary as heck!!!

I tried to act calm... knowing if I get frustrated or mad... she'll start getting frustrated and mad.  She's flustered.  She's not fully listening and comprehending.  I have to limit my words...cuz it'll overwhelm her.  She actually doesn't know all the driving laws and right of ways.  She definitely doesn't know etiquette or the unwritten rules.  In the end... she crashed out.  We all survived... on our very first trip around the block!!!

Woohoo!!! 

"Awwww...."

Bottom half of the 7th and we were down and likely to lose. Ppl started to leave and go home - some of the kids had school the next day.  

Pitch tosses a slider... going away from the batter with a spin. I squeeze by butt cheeks, tighten my lats, charge and SWING like the world depended on it, only to foul tip that sucker.  And I hear a collective "Awwwww....." 

I look over at the stands and dugout and see that NO ONE has left.  The entire crowd was still there standing by the fence.  I couldn't help but laugh... like I disappointed my fans!!  

It was now 0-2.... one more strike or foul and I'm out.  Next pitch was another sweeping slider... and I crushed a single with a defensive swing.  Got on base... nothing major.  Kept the inning going.  As the Nike commercial goes... Folks dig the long ball!  But not today... 

Freshman of the Year

Like Wardell Stephen Curry and his MVP award... SW was voted Freshman of the Year unanimously by all the coaches.  That's like Rookie of the Year honors. And truth be told... I would think he'd make 1st or 2nd team regardless of grade... based on statistics alone.  But there's gotta be a little sharing of the pie going on... you can't have one kid win it all. 

SW's climbed so high and gone so far.... he's pushing bounds he didn't even he know was capable of pushing.  How much prouder can a father be???

女大女世界

 During lunch... after a few days of dropping hints... NN finally came out and said she has a boyfriend now.  She's been teasing and teasing and now it's official.  And y'know... I'm actually ok with it. Did it fit all my criteria and qualifications...? Does it fit hers? Does it matter? 

Happy

Nn said she was very happy today. She was blissful if not in glee. Wonder what caused it? A resolution in friendship drama? A good grade? Or maybe her “boy friend not friend, but close friend” and her moved into the next phase? Geez…

Have a catch?

SW and I had some sorta moment today. He had some time to kill between Second harvest and meeting up with classmates for their project. I suggested getting some fielding practice in and he wasn’t against it – to my surprise. Then he said he wanted to replace his shoes… of course he does. He doesn’t wanna ruin his shoes. So I said… forget it. Deep down I wanted to play, but deeper deeper down, I didn’t want a re-do of the Onitsuka tiger incident where I pushed too hard and creased his shows. This time, they were asics. As I was turning home… he actually insisted. And said it’s ok to get dirty. I triple checked… to make sure he was ok. Perhaps… deep down in HIS core… he wanted to show me how far he’s come since two years ago with his softball / baseball skills.

510

Senior Night or the last game of the year.  I texted SW during the day and told him he was 14 assists from hitting 500 and suggested he asked the coach to let him reach that pinnacle.  

It's senior night... of course the seniors get to start.  Not only start... the coach kept them in the entire first set.  Throughout the set, I kept looking at the coaches.. the bench.. and there was no movement. We got crushed. 

Then comes set 2....  and in comes SW.  Starting with his first serve... all the way to his set winning ace.  It was beautiful and glorious.  One assist after another... one point after the next... one step at a time... climbing closer to that milestone... 498... 499... and then a middle-tempo to Rocco.  500.  The tables were turned... it was our turn to crush our opponents.  Two sets.  Two stories.  Two endings. 

At the end of the night... SW ended up with 510.  Other seniors started rotating in again... and we started to lose again.  Literally like the stock market... SW comes in, stock rises.  SW goes out, stock crashes.  During the party... one of the parents came up to us, "It's such a pleasure watching Joshua play.  It's such a notable difference when he's in there."  Another parent comes up and says, "Rumor has it, Joshua isn't coming back."

And now... the wait begins.  What sport will he play next year? Will he come back? Head over to track? The team is waiting for him to lead... but will he pick up the opportunity? 

When the world stopped and watched...

Signed up for church rec-softball again after a two year hiatus.  We had our first intersquad practice today with another team.  I did my typical fielding at Short and 3rd.  Had some good plays and power throws.  Then it was time to step in the batter's box.

I've been experimenting with a new batting stance after talking to a dad who's son is really into baseball and he said all the kids are hitting the Japanese style - ala Ichiro, Shohei, etc... 

So I step up to the plate... and blast one.  Then another one.  I then blasted a line drive... so hard... the short stop tried to catch it and it popped loose.  He ended up having to walk off the field cuz his glove hand was in so much pain.  It got to a point where everyone, on and off the field, stopped to watch me hit.  After about a dozen balls... including ones where I purposely hit so the infielders can get some practice in... I hunkered down and said, "Last one... and I'm done."  

The pitcher lofts me an underhand spin.  It stays in the air longer than normal and floats near my shoulder... and I crushed one so far into dead center over everyone's head. The audience couldn't help but let out a collective "Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."  

Then I nonchalantly walk off.  Just another day in the office for me.  HA!! 

Will you accept my rose?

Every special event... birthday, anniversary, dating anniversary, mother's day... I'll get Joyce a bouquet of roses.  It's nothing too special... but it's a gesture.  Well this year... Siu Wah makes the ultimate move by: 

a) forgetting it's mama's birthday in the morning (thereby setting himself up to...)

b) going to 7-eleven after school and picking up a small little vase with a rose

And guess which one Joyce cherishes more?!?! Hrmphh!!! 

Father Son Time in Japan

 1 of 2 posts dedicated specifically for my son after our Japan trip

Japan happened, partially, because of SW's insistence on traveling internationally.  I'm sure this was inevitable, but he was the catalyst that led to the reaction and action. 

This trip is of course, highlighted by our Bey-hunting trip which I'll try to summarize  But there's so much more to that.  SW... of the four of us... is obviously the youngest and likeliest immature.  And yet, in so many ways, is the most mature of all travelers.  He's easy going.  He knows what he likes.  He goes with the flow.  He's a fan of the "spreadsheet" and will support the person stressing.  There's still more to grow in terms of packing, unpacking, travel etiquette, common sense... but all in all... he's a great travel partner.  His friends, future SO, family... will enjoy traveling with him.  

Now onto Japan...  

Before we went, he'd already set his heart on buying a few things.  1) clothes 2) shoes 3) pokemon cards and finally... 4) Beyblades.  Not just any Beyblades... but the generation he grew up with which is about 10 years ago... old skool Beyblade Burst.

Originally, we didn't think anything of it other than we'll hit Akihabara, the "otaku" side of town with all the anime, manga, electronics, toys.  And this is home of the Beyblades... they're bound to have it.  This is the day after walking to Ueno park... walking to Tokyo Dome... followed by curry that was too spicy and finally... Akihabara.  

We first went to this one store that ChatGPT recommended... saying it MUST be there.  We got there... and there was just one little display of old parts.  No harm, no foul.  We know this is a collectors item so it could be a miss.  Then we found another store... this time... it turned out to be pretty far.  And as we were walking the stores, Joyce and NN were simply tailgating us.  They had no aim.  No goal.  If anything... it was a little annoying.  After a while, I noticed that NN had a little limp.  So I told them... maybe they can go somewhere else.  Or better yet... they can start going back to the AirBnb.  I told them it was so NN can rest... but in actuality... they were slowing us down.  We needed to get going!!  

We separated and then we started going all over the place.  Google Maps is helpful... until it's not.  I'm not the best with using it and my phone was malfunctioning here and there.  We got to the 2nd store... only too realize it's a hole in the wall hobby store with virtually nothing of interest.  SW was so disappointed and down in the dumps.  Since it was a tiny little story... and the shop owner was maybe an early 20 year old... I busted my phone and fired up google translate to type, "Where can I find Beyblades?"  He shook his head.... almost saying, "There are none."  But he gave us a glimmer of hope. He took out his phone and typed in a store's name.  I took a picture of it and we were gone.  As we were running out, he shouted, "maybe.  i don't know!!"  

But that was all we need... a glimmer of hope.  And off we went.  But off.... I really mean off.  Cuz we were off the rails here.  Google maps was on the fritz.  We walked aruond in circles after circles.  I'll admit... i got a little cocky and thought I had a good sense of direction, but I didn't.  And there were times when I thought I can cut through the train station, but it was a dead-end.  We went round and round and round... and finally... we get to this electronics store and try to find the toys section.  Time was not on our side... since they were about to close.  I wasted no time... didn't bother walking around and looking.  Simply busted out the phone and typed in google translate, "Where can I find Beyblade."  The employee aptly pointed us.. and then walked us... to a corner of the store.  Ahhhhh.... finally.  Only... to find out they're the latest generation of Beyblade X.  Siu Wah wanted Beyblade Burst!!!  

At that moment... he felt so crushed.  "It wasn't meant to be."  And with that... we walk home with our tails between our legs.  We get some consolation and find a place for some waygu skewers.  What made it worse... was his brand new Onitsuka Tigers had creases in them.  These are walking shoes for show... not actual walking shoes.  I felt so sad.... I wanted to cry.  What a horrible way to end an otherwise beautiful day.... it was a very quiet train ride back to the Airbnb. 

The next morning... the entire family slept in and I had a chance to go get coffee by myself.  I was still feeling the disappointment from the previous night so I started searching for Beyblades in Tokyo... and I come across these youtube videos of folks from all over the world coming to Japan looking for beyblades... otherwise known as "Beyhunting."  OMG.... it's a thing!!!  I was now a Bey-hunter!!!  All of a sudden... this goes from a little boy's hobby... to a flat out adventure.

I watch videos after videos.  Taking note of where we can go.  We've been to some of these places already.  Then there were two places.  One was about an hour away.  The other... was also an hour away, but on our way to Disney.  After some planning and strategizing... Joyce and I decide to split up.

She and NN will go to Brandi Melville for some shopping.  And SW, whom I now introduced to the term Beyhunting, and I will go do exactly that.  This wasn't without adventure either.  My initial train ride and time was interrupted by the fact I closed Google Maps down to save on data and power.... only get back on Google Maps... but it gave me different directions (unbeknowngst to me).  The 45 minute tirp ended up becoming 1.5 hours.  But no matter.... I was sure we'll find it.  This was a giant toy store in the middle of nowhere.  Tokyo being a destination would have all the inventory sucked up.  Not this place!!!  We finally find it.... just as NN and Joyce sent pics of their victories.  We get into store and it's like a salvation army.  Floor after floor of manga, toys, sports equipment, electronics... everything you can think of... except Beyblade Burst.  Another failure.  Another round of disappointment.  What made it worse... was the hope I gave SW of finding it here, after he came to accept the fact this wasn't happening.  

As a consolation prize... I figure we can get some lunch.  This really was way out in the boonies and there weren't a lot of choices.  Since we haven't had conveyor belt sushi yet, I find a place that's about a 10 minute walk from the train station.  First of all... it took us forever to even get back to the train station cuz the bus lines are so confusing.  I think we ended up walking an additional 30 minutes for no reason... other than I can't read Japanese well.  But those 30 minutes served us well.  We come across these amazing city parks full of cherry blossoms.  Unlike Ueno Park yesterday with all those thousands of people... there was literally the two of us.  And during the 30 minute walk... I got to share my experience with finding 漫畫 at 白田商場。 The initial exuberance we got when we first discovered it in 1992... and the feeling of rediscovering El Dorado the 2nd time we went in 1997.   I kept feeding him hope... when there wasn't much hope to be fed.  

In place of hope though... we had to feed our tummy and went to a local conveyor belt sushi place that was simply heavenly.  Not even the blue fin, but just the medium fatty tuna, melts in your mouth like butter.  And they have an option of regular or less rice to not fill up your belly.  But the part that really brought it home was horse sashimi.  Ewwww.... one would say.  SW was like, "Why not??" He's so adventurous.  Certainly makes for a great travel 

partner.  

After filling our bellies... we rejoin the girls at Ginza for the Uniqlo flagship store - the infamous 12 stories of shopping.   Any and all disappointment, was washed away.  SW went to town!!! Down-town!!!  He bought soooooo many clothes.  But proud of him for saying, "Yeh yeh and mah mah gave me all the 利是錢 I can finally spend it."  That... he did.  

On the side... I never gave up Beyhunting.  I found two Ginza stores that might have Beyblades.  While SW as shopping and NN was soooo done with shopping, we snuck out to look for them.  Once again... big foot eluded us.  We ended the night at the Shibuya crossing.  Oh you bet I did... while on the train ride to Shibuya... I was looking up possible places for Beyblades.  So after taking the compulsory "run to the middle and jump" photo at the Crossing...  SW and I venture off once again on our own while the girls headed home.  

It took us forever to find this one because it's not only hidden from plain sight.  The external of the building is the name of the toystore, but google map says it's on the 5th floor.  Took us forever to find the elevators... but those lead to the 8th floor movie theater.  We had 30 minutes left before the store closed and we weren't even sure if this was the place.  I busted out my handy dandy google translate app to check the directory and there it was... bright as day... the name of that hobby store.  But how to get there??? I was so desperate I was looking for stairs to run up.  Time and time again... the elevators had people pack in and pack out... but all going to the theater... and as we turned away to look for another entrance, there it was, a sandwich board that read "Take left elevator to the 5th floor for XYZ store."   We waited and waited... but nothing came!!!  And time was ticking.  So I thought about taking the elevator to the 8th floor and riding back down.  We got to the top.... got to the theater and made a U-turn to get back in.  Only to realize, it was a 1 way trip to the lobby.  There was just one elevator that stops at the 5th floor.  We got back down to the lobby and patiently waited... with like 15 minutes left... the elevator finally came.  We found it!!!  This hidden, underground, behind the wall, nobody knows, but elevator was packed hobby toy store.  They must have it!!!  Failed.  Once again.  They only had Beyblade X.  SW was finally able to let go... sorta.  Because there were two Shibuya stores and one was closed.   And then, there was that one final store on our way to Disney.  The train ride home wasn't as bad... as SW had a great day at Uniqlo.  

Next day... Joyce and I find another excuse to go back to Shibuya before heading to Disney - to find that OTHER store that was closed the night before.  Both kids wanted Omirice... and of course, I favored my searches towards that direction.  Plus it was sorta/kinda on our way to Disney.  Needless to say... the tomb was empty.  The Beyblade gods were against us.  This was not meant to be.  Let the beyhunting happen on eBay (eBey??) or some future Japan trip he takes.  Over lunch... NN laid the smackdown.  She kept saying, we'll find it.  If we prayed. Part of me thinks she was kidding... but part of me started praying silently.

The storm came.  It wasn't any rain, it was a borderline typhooon.  So wet.  So windy.  In the midst of the storm, we were caught in the eye of the hurricane.  This last and final store was out in the middle of nowhere.  We got off the train stop and had to walk another mile in the rain,  while dragging our luggage.  (Why we didn't rent a locker, I'll never remember). When the clouds covered the sky and humanity was at the brink of extinction... we walk into the final store.  The last chance.  The end of the road.  

Pass the manga.  pass the anime.  pass the models. Then pass the girls stuff.  The dolls.  The cutsie toys.  Now it was the kids toys.  My heart sank.  There's no more.  It's all baby toys from here.  

Until... I saw some hot wheels.  Toy cars.  There might be more... maybe??  And then.... as the sun rose on the 41st day after the storm... and the rainbrow crept up over the horizon... We saw it.  4-5 glass cases of beyblades.  Not only that... little baggies of the used beyblade bursts that people trade it.  

Nivana.  This was heaven.  This was.... Sw's version of 白田。 皇天不負有心人！ 踏破鐵鞋無覓處!  Don't know how many stores... how many steps... how many disappointments... to culminate in this moment.  Perfectly captured in this one picture.  And after that I gave him a big, fat embrace!!  We did it!!

And throughout all this... Sw was always smiling.  My boy.  My son. Super Sweet Siu Wah....forever engraved in my memories of Father Son Time in Japan.