Ahhhh sh*t.......

I don't normally swear... but sometimes... that's all the words that comes out.... "Ahhhhhh sh*t....."

Last night at nursery, while we were helping out, a 10 month old boy had a little accident while playing around.  He fell and started bleeding from the mouth.  That was right when mom walked in...and anecdotally... she bursted into tears.  Tears of sadness...tears of fear... tears of pain.

What parent wouldn't cry when seeing their precious child bleeding?!?!?!?

It took almost an hour... but we finally calmed the situation down.  And we thought everything was fine.  Until today... we received an email that the parents took the baby to ER and found out that the tissue between the lips and gum is permanently torn.  And now the parents are afraid there'll be speech impediments or other side effects.

That's right.... "Ahhhhhh sh*t......"

To top it off.... the parents are soon-to-be-believers.  What will this situation do to their view of our church??  Man....what have we done?

Joyce puts it perfect.  "Logically, we know it's an accident.  But the feeling of guilt is suffocating."  And right now... I'm still suffocating.

What you see vs. What you get

A dear friend of ours came up to me and made mentioned that Nn has really changed recently... in becoming more open and gregarious...

This isn't the first time someone's brought that up to us... but we (Joyce and I) simply don't get a chance to observe it.  Rumor has it, whenever we're NOT around, Nn is actually a warm, confident, extrovert!!  But when we're around... she clams up and hides in her shell.

Confirming my theory... this dear friend offered up that perhaps the child is in fear of disappointing her parents.  That Joyce and I (really me...) have set too high of expectations for her, insofar as she has this inherent fear of disappointing us; or failing in front of us.  Rather than heed that embarrassment or ridicule by her sarcastic father... she rather hid inside her cave and play it safe. 

Oh boy.... what have I done?

SW probably won't have this problem... he's just two, but he's already off in his own world.  He can care less about what we think or what we say.  He just goes about his own business with the goal of pleasing one person, himself. HA!!

Wake Up Call

Of all the days... it happened on my birthday.

Monday night, Nui-nui says, "Bah-bee...can you come home earlier?"
Tuesday... I told her I'll be home early so we can go to dinner.  I run late...
Then on WednesdayI... I tried to leave work early to spend time with the fam... nope.
I was suppose pick up dinner... and I get home super duper late.  Not only am I late...the fam is starving.

That night, Joyce tells me:

Nui-nui drew a picture the other day.  She drew me...drew Siu Wah...drew herself. I asked her, where's Bah-bee.  And she says, "Bah-bee is not home.  He's at a meeting." 

Bah-bee is not home.

This is a wake up call.  I need to change jobs. Career is worthless compared to family.  There are those who can swing and balance both.... I can't.

Is Monster.com even still up and running?

陀飛輪

過去十八歲　沒戴錶　不過有時間
夠我　沒有後顧　野性貪玩
霎眼廿七歲　時日無多　方不敢偷懶
宏願縱未了奮鬥總不太晚

然後突然今秋　望望身邊應該有已盡有
我的美酒跑車相機金錶　也講究
直到世間個個也妒忌　仍不怎麼富有
用我尚有換我沒有　其實已用盡所擁有

＊曾付出　幾多心跳
來換取　一堆堆的發票
人值得　命中減少幾秒　多買一隻錶
秒速捉得緊了　而皮膚竟偷偷鬆了
為何用到盡了　至知那樣緊要＊

勞力是無止境　活著多好　不需要靠物證
也不以高薪高職高級品搏尊敬
就算搏到　伯爵那地位和蕭邦的雋永
賣了任性　日拚夜拚　忘掉了為甚麼高興
 

Repeat＊
 

記住那關於光陰的教訓
回頭走天已暗
你獻出了十寸時和分
可有換到十寸金

還剩低　幾多心跳
人面跟水晶錶面對照
連自己　亦都分析不了　得到多與少
也許真的瘋了　那個倒影多麼可笑
靈魂若變賣了　上鏈也沒心跳

銀或金都不緊要　誰造機芯一樣了
計劃了照做了得到了　時間卻太少
還剩低幾多心跳　還在數趕不及了
昂貴是這刻我覺悟了
在時計裡看破一生　渺渺

Best things in life are....FREE?

Don't we all love things that are FREE? As much as we enjoy the WHAT... I think we constantly disregard the WHY.  Sometimes, it's truly the WHY that makes the "free", the best thing in life.

Take Tam's Cafe in Cupertino.  Joyce and I frequent that place for breakfast once or twice a month for the past several years.  One time... we went for lunch instead of breakfast... and the waiter brings us each a cup of milk tea.  My initial respond, "We didn't order any wor..."  thinking the waiter got it wrong.  He simply smiled and walked away.  WOW.... what a guy.

Take my cross country flight this past week.  On my way to Baltimore, I was upgraded to first class.  My flight attendant took very good care of me... and I made certain to return a smile.  The next day... I was on my way home... and upon boarding, I saw him again!  This time I didn't get an upgrade to first class.  But after we got our drinks back in economy, my flight attendant comes strolling down the aisle... I didn't take notice until he stops at my row... and pushes a glass of white wine towards me.  The exact thing I ordered while I was sitting in first class the day before.  He smiles... and walks away.

Oh boy did that wine make the flight go smoother...

DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!

I love hosting... I love planning... I love taking folks around town. But man!!! Can they drive me nuts!!!!

I had everything planned out. 
Breakfast... Mystery Spot... Lunch.... Coffee... Great Mall... Dinner. 
And I knew things will get messed up, so I had backup plans B and C.  Boy were my plans mediocre.
The 10AM breakfast became a 11:45 lunch! What's worse.... we sat their at Saigon waiting for them for 45 minutes, hogging a big table, while the line stretched around the block.  When they finally came, I naturally get shoved into the corner.  The guys sitting by the aisle didn't order any food!!  What's the point of lunch?!?  I got so fed up... I ordered a plate of chow fun.  Then it took over 30 minutes to get my plate of chow-fun.... and it came after I cancelled it.  Ok...whatever!!  Next.

We cancel the Mystery Spot and head to the Great Mall.  Sure, I expected this.  But the caravan got lost, we ended up splitting up.  One of the driver missed an exit and I had to drive and rescue him.   

Whatever... it happens.

At the mall... all they wanted to do was walk in circles.  No stores.  No shopping.  Even when they walk by a toy store, they won't stop and let poor little Howard to play.  Is that their point of vacation??? Walk aimlessly around in circles??

Finally... time to leave and head off for a cup of coffee.  We caravan again...everything is fine and dandy when I get a call from Joyce who was suppose to pick up nn.  "I got lost...can you go pick up nn???" 

Ok....fine.  I ditch the family at Philz without even ordering for them.  Whatever...it happens. 

Finally got to the coffee shop.  And once again,  I make the biggest mistake ever.  I ask everyone, "Are you hungry?"  "No...." 

WTH... .we barely had any lunch.  We walked and drove around all day.  And no one is hungry?!?!?Or are they just being overly courteous...to a point of pissing me off!!!!

I said...forget it.  I'm making the executive call here.

I tell Joyce, let's go somewhere local.  She says no.... let's go somewhere far.  I nearly blow my gasket, "I don't want folks to get lost again... and I have to end up driving and rescuing people!!!!"

She capitulates.  And once again... the native San Jose doesn't even know how to get to Lawrence and El Camino from Cupertino.  What has the iPhone done to us??????????

We caravan again.... and luckily, no one got lost this time.  I called ahead of time to reserve a table, thankfully.

But once again.... I end up sitting at the very far corner of the table where I can't access the waiters and waitresses.  I can't pay.  I can't serve food for everyone.  I was... helpless.  Useless.  Futile.  And who sits on the outside that the waitress tries to converse with? The same guys who didn't order any food at dim sum.

I didn't even bother asking people what they wanted to eat.  I just ordered.  Then.....

Drove me nuts.... watching the rest of them fumble around with things.  Especially those who wanted to take a million pictures with their iPhones....then iPads.... then take a video.  Then have to show everyone on the table what they just took.  All the while disregarding the waitresses and busboys trying to get their job done.

At the end of the night.... everyone just wanted to sit there and sit there and sit there.  C'mon guys.  Let's get done with our food and leave!!!  The restaurant has a train of people waiting to sit down.  No.... I'm full, but i'm gonna keep poking at my food. 

Then I nearly got into a fight with my aunt with taking home leftovers.  Half a bowl of rice here.... half a bowl of rice there.... two halves make a whole bowl!!!  Well... by that time, I was out of patience.  I flat out said, "no... if i bring it home, it's going straight to the garbage can."  Must've pissed her off too..... cuz I know they hate wasting food.  But is it a waste...or is it bad for your own stomach trying to stuff so much food down?!!?!

Finally... everyone slowly gets up.  But they stand up not to leave.... but to stand and talk and admire the leftover plates.  C'mon.............. leave people!!!!!!

Now it's time to go home.  No one understands half the sh*t I'm sayin about direction.

Just stick a finger in my eye already.... it'll feel much better than this.

孤單背我罪

在主日崇拜...某首歌曲的歌詞深深打動了我, 導致我熱淚盈汪。我們總是在談論與神同行，即使在最黑暗的時間，神不離不棄與你同在。但耶穌被釘十字架的時候，當他擔當了我們所有的罪，過去，現在和將來，並因罪父神不能與他同在。他真正獨自一人，孤單孤單上路，孤單孤單背我罪 。 

耶穌愛我, 甚至與父神完全分開。Does that bring you to tears?