Inadequate

A swarming wave of inadequacy suffocating me right now.  

At work on Friday.. I'm realizing how much of my job I have no clue on what to do.  Every aisle I traverse.. every corner I turn... there's this new world that I am completely alien to.  Gwarsh I hate that feeling.

Then on Saturday... I take NN to her Beach Day trip with the volleyball girls.  And for whatever reason.. she doesn't fit in.  She's not with the "popular girls."  She's not with the 6th grade girls.  And then within her own friend group... she didn't fit in either.  But whatever... we survived it.  

We get home from the beach and I take her to rec basketball that's run by the JV coach.  She sees a bunch of friends there and she's happy again.  When I pick her up... first thing she said to me was, "I got demoted again."  Turns out this time, the JV coach put her with the less talented bunch.  You can't cheat the eye test... she really does not compare with the talented group.  Maybe... you can say she's the bad, good-player.  Or you can say she's the good bad-player.  Either way...she didn't fit in.

On the car ride home.. she started complaining about her friends only talking to her when no one else is around.  

Geez..... she had a crappy week.  She had a crappy day.  And now... there's nothing I can say or do to lift my daughter up.  I felt like such an inadequate dad.