Cloud nine to reality

CNY2023.... what a day.

Today started out with a bang... heading to church early to prep for CNY Hospitality.  Eden Fellowship hasn't had a chance to serve like this in 3+ years.  And we came out strong... came out in numbers... including our newest members. 

Then we headed out to SF for New Year's Dinner.  Mom graciously offered to have dinner together with dad.  Dad couldn't have cared less.  The restaurant was short on staff. But we figured it out. Knew exactly what to say... what to order.. down to getting the doggie bags / boxes and cashing in the check.  I saw other tables look at us / stare at us with envy... how we got in / got out.

And of course... the Niners eeking out another close playoff game against the hated Cowboys.  The entire restaurant was watching.  I was the only one that really cared. Bang Bang Niner Gang!!

But the reality really struck tonight... as I was putting NN to bed... NN asked, "Did mommy tell you what happened at youth today?"

Pastor Sam, during Sunday Youth Breakfast, asked if anyone's ever felt lonely.  And SW started tearing up... and he admitted to the Youth Pastor and the other Youths... he felt lonely at church.  To a point where he started crying,.. and had to excuse himself.  My SW... my jovial, goofy SW.  Admitting out in the open... open kimono... how he felt.  To a point... where he left the Youth Hall.. and Sam went out after him.  To a point.. where NN started crying because SW blamed her for not wanting to go to PBC and start a new church life.  And then... NN started crying.  For all the right reasons.  I call it Spiritual Discernment.  Something about PBC does not feel right.  For her... for me.  But SW and Joyce are ready to make the move.  I'm 50/50... lukewarm at best... and yet... it's NN who's saying this isn't the right move.  

My heart is broken for SW.  It's equally as broken for NN being so torn.  And here I am... sucking up every last tweet... free article... and replay of the Niner game... wondering what is next for our family.

Jesus... can you open up a way? (For the Niners to win a Superbowl... and for our next step as a family?)