Then it got real....

Signed up to buy 40 corn for ESL lunch today.  Have to admit.. I signed up after seeing that Safeway is selling them for $1 for 8 ears (limit 8 per customer).  All week long, I had it planned out where we'll pick up the kids from KAC and then go to our local Safeway, split up our orders, and roll out with 40 ears.

Come Friday..  I had some time to kill after lunch, so I rolled into a nearby Safeway.  I ended up paying twice.  Entered my "Safeway Club Member" card twice.  And walked out with 16 years.

I arrived at church and put corn into the fridge.  People looked at me with astonishment.. not cuz I found a deal.  Everyone knew about the deal apparently.  But because I actually found corn!!

"It's sold out everywhere!" they say... cuz it's such a good deal.  One sister said, she'll go to her local Safeway to see if there are any left and she'll claim 8 for me.  

I drove to MY local Safeway.... beaming with confidence.... when I walked up to an empty stall with some residuals of husks.  Oh no.... It's sold out!!! I have 24 more ears left.  And it's sold out!!! 

Then it got real....  

 I sped out the parking lot of one Safeway... and before, when the kids were complaining and tired and complaining and tired.... and COMPLAINING.... they were wide awake.  While speeding 90 mph down El Camino Real... they kept pestering me.  "Why didn't you get all 40 at the first Safeway?!?"  My answer was, "Cuz I wanted you to have THIS adventure, duh!!!" 

Parked.  Made a mad dash to the produce section and I see a lady there. She was carefully and meticulously choosing what's left of about a dozen ears.  I snatched two bags... and grabbed the first 8 I saw.  And the lady said, "I love how your dad shops."  I turned to her and said, "Lady... they're $0.13 each.  Who cares?"  

But I'm still 16 short.  16!!!!! 

The next Safeway is across town... didn't want to make that drive for a fruitless harvest (fruitless or cornless - ha!! I kill myself sometimes).  So I relented.  Let's go to Lucky's instead.  They probably have some sale going on.  And if they don't have it... we can go to our local Nob Hill Foods.  They're selling corn at $0.17 a piece, but it's good enough.

Pulled up to Lucky's. The kids were all in now!! They want this as much as I do.  From one end of the store... I can see that this was the Holy Grail? Why... cuz next to the corn station... was a cart... with three boxes!  The store manager didn't even both putting it onto the rack.  He kept it in the boxes to let his customers have at it.  The kicker is... it's $0.09 per ear.  Even cheaper than Safeway!!! 

We take our victory stride to the self checkout counter.  Four bags - 4 ears per bag.  I enter the first two bags... typed in "White Corn" and boom.... the price??? $4.00.  What?!?!?!? $4.00?!?!?!?  No no no.... it should be $0.72!!!!!   I patiently wait for the checkout lady to help another family.  She comes over and explains, "Sir... you need to enter the digital coupon." "I don't have a digital coupon."  "You can sign up now."

Ok... fine. So I proceeded to get online to create an account. But while standing there... my order was expiring.  It kept beeping asking if I wanted to continue.  I ignored it.  SW was still holding the two other bags of corn.  And I was busily, frantically, trying to create a Lucky's Account.  DONE!!!  But wait... that's Lucky's Groceries.  This is Lucky's Supermarket!! UGH!!! Wrong store... wrong website!!!

Ok... do it again.  I'm setting it up.  First name. Last name. Email. Phone. Password.  And now I'm prompted for "ONE FINAL STEP... Select a Store??!?"  Fine fine fine... select a store.  Ok... where do I click finish? I selected the store.  I guess I'm done.  Ok... where's my digital coupon?!?!  I try to log into... "INVALID USERNAME."  WHAT?!?!?! I just created it. 

Ok... fine.  I'll do it again.  I'll be more careful this time.  First name. Last name. Email. Phone. Password.  And again... "ONE FINAL STEP... Select a Store."  I pick my store.  "SET".  The app even says, "El Camino Store."  Done, right??? I don't see anything else to click.  Ok... where are my coupons?!?!? Once again... I try logging and "INVALID USERNAME."  Ugh...  WTH is going on?!?!

By now... the beeping from the checkout machine is so annoying I had to cancel the order.  The self-checkout line starts building up... and out of the corner of my eye, I'm just waiting for someone (like me!!) to say, "GET OUT IF YOU'RE NOT READY!!!"  The cashier voided our order... so now it's silence again.  And the kids were getting upset, "Just pay the $4, daddy."  It's not a lot of money.  They're right... it's not.  But it's not about money, is it.  It's about principals. 

Again... I try logging in and creating an account.  And again... it doesn't work.  What is happening?!?!? Why is the universe against me!! I know!! It must be the phone.  I quickly pull out my work phone and start creating an account... NN grabs my phone from me.  And before I was done filling out First Name, Last Name, Email... she showed me, "Account created."  BOOM.  DONE.  HA!!! 

Turns out... I had to scroll waaaaaaaaaay to the bottom after selecting a store to click " Finish Application."  She figured it out.  So..... finally!!!!!  Digital Coupon!! Found it!!! Clipped!!!  And.... uh.... do I download it?  Is it a QR Code??? I was sooooo lost.  Now what??? Do I scan it with my phone and bluetooth will take care of it. WHAT?!?!?!?!

Once again... the machine was beeping.... asking if I wanted to continue with checkout.  I clicked, "YES" and then.... between clicking "YES" and looking at the coupon again... I see I had to enter "Rewards Member Phone." Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....... there it is.  Just like Safeway.  I apty entered my phone and boom... $4.00 became.... $0.72!!!!  The kids erupted in cheer!!! VICTORY!!!! HAHAHAHA.... We did it!!!!!

The checkout lady and everyone around us were looking at us weird.  I didn't care!!!

Ok... let's finish the final purchase.  SW puts the corn on the checkout stand.  Professionally enters "WHITE CORN" and selects the picture on the touch screen.  I punch out my phone number or Rewards Member Phone.  About to see $4.00 drop down to $0.72 when............ "REWARD ALREADY CLAIMED" flashed onto the screen!!! OMG!!! Are you serious!?!??!  When they said limit one per customer... they truly truly limited it to ONE PER CUSTOMER!!!! I wanted to fall down on my knees and cry.

Obviously... this story has a happy ending.  Every thing worked out at the end.  And all that... for 40 ears of corn.