wHO AM i?

歌 林 多 前 書 12:3
所 以 我 告 诉 你 们 ， 被 神 的 灵 感 动 的 ， 没 有 说 耶 稣 是 可 咒 诅 的 。 若 不 是 被 圣 灵 感 动 的 ， 也 没 有 能 说 耶 稣 是 主 的 。

Have you ever been relunctant to ask for something? Relunctance stemming from either fear of rejection or fear of affirmation. Back in my early teens, I'd be scared to ask a girl out. She might say no and how embarrassing would that be? Now that I'm in my mid-20's, I'm afraid to ask for more work. My boss might actually give me more and more. (Hehe..)

Our Father told us, "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find."

I've asked, and I've received. I get confizzled...and I seek. Amazingly enough, He lets me find!

Friday night's Bible study was far too perfect in terms the right people being at the right place at the right time. Praise God for arranging my brothers to be by my side at my weakest hour! Praise God for his words having an epiphany within me! Praise God for letting me Ask and Seek.

Who am I? - Casting Crowns
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see our sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of youve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours.
I am yours.

D'OH!!!!

Just found out that b/c my invitations are square shaped, they need $0.49 stamps instead of $0.37 stamps. Now what?!

AND WHY AM IN SO CONFIZZLED?!?!?!?!?

Spent...and confused

Just finished my Linear Algebra final. Goodness, that thing was a monster of a test. A 2 hour final that took me 3 hours. And I still wasn't done! I really don't know what he's trying to pull by giving us computationally insane problems to work on. Anyhoo...another class bites the dust. I get, at least, a 4 days rest before my next class starts. Maybe we can finally work on the house now that I have some free time.

Wedding invitations went out this week. Got some responses already - but the big story is, we're short on invitations!! The folks invited more people than we anticipated. Ended up having to use an evite for some of my friends HAHAHAHAHA... shame on us for not having better foresight of this happening. Ah well...who needs a real invitation nowadays. They end up in the trashcan anyways. And people get their maps via the internet. Hopefully, people will understand that I'm not shortchanging them. I'm frugal, but not cheap. Okay..I'm cheap, but not OVERLY cheap.

As I was passing out the invites, one of my friend says, "WOW! This is the first time I've received a red-bomb." My response, "COOL!! This is the first time I'm passing out red-bombs!" Hrm....

Was at Borders studying last night when I took a break and started thumbing through the book, The Holy Spirit, by Billy Graham. I don't know how to coin everything, but I'm definitely not feeling at ease right now. I perused through a bunch of other books and my mind started churning some more. There's this heavy burden resting on my shoulders right now - and I'm not sure why it's there. Heck..I'm not even sure what it is!! I just know I need to do something - but what?? Maybe the problem is, I'm looking for answers in books and through people. When the answer can only be found through prayer. Geez.... why now??

A seed was planted...

Had a most wonderful discussion with one of my best friends about religion - and my beliefs, my values. The conversation lasted for 3+ hours. I found myself speaking with a confidence I never had before. Questions like "How do you know God exists?" or "Why weren't the dinosaurs in the Bible" or "What's your take on evolution?" I don't want to become one of those radicals who come up to you out of nowhere and say I'm damned to go to hell if I don't repent. There's gotta be a better way to share, and not turn people off. I love using the same stories that Yao Chung would use whenever I had questions for him. Course, I can only retell it with half of his energy and vibrance. Can't wait to see them....sigh....

So busy this week, it's not even funny. I'll probably miss Prayer Meeting and Sunday Service. Can't even use my painting skills to help paint the church walls. Come to think of it...that's probably a good thing. My walls aren't looking all that great right now. =)

Two weddings to go to this weekend. Which is cool...I get two doses of Shark Fin soup and I get to see how other people do their weddings. Get to learn what to and what not to do. Hrm.... what's left on the darn checklist?

Where's the stench coming from??

For the longest time, we noticed a stench inside the house. But couldn't sniff it out!! The other day, Joycie finally noticed a leak in our Main Bathroom. There was a leak from the base of the toilet. The leak isn't big...so it's not noticeable. Water seaps out whenever we flush - yeah...contaminated water. Ewwwww......

Jumped online and found (luckily) an easy fix to the problem. We went to Home Depot and bought a $3 wax doughnut. This doughnut sits between the ceramic and the pipe coming from the ground. We think the contractor who laid out the lunolium didn't do a good job. Other than getting a little wet and having to lift a 200lb toilet, the process went pretty well. We got the job done in about an hour. For me, that's a near miracle!!

Saved couple hundred bucks from hiring a plumber. Phew....

God paves my path...

For a time, I felt I was stuck in a rut and I wanted a way out. But Papa is paving the path for me. I just got promoted into a higher position (no raise tho). But it's not about the money. Albeit, I'm not qualified for this position but sometimes, it's just being at the right place at the right time. It's about people believing in you and giving you that one chance. You take that chance and you sink or swim.

Thank you Father! Thank for the answers! Thank you for the Hsu's, Louie's and So's. Thank you for SJCAC!

Young Adult Summit

July 4th weekend 2005, along with 100+ other brothers and sisters drove up to South Lake Tahoe and enclosed ourselves in a get-away resort called Zephyr's Cove. Arrived on Friday evening around 5PM, checked in and had dinner. After dinner was worship and message delivered by Pastor Joe and Cora Philips. Friday night, we didn't want to go to bed so early so we stayed up and played the game Settlers. Had a chance to meet and bond with a few of the English Congregation friends. Went to bed at 3:30AM. It'll be hard NOT to buy that game now. =)

Saturday morning, woke up around 630AM to enjoy the presence of God and absorb the beauty of his creation in the form of Lake Tahoe. We even had a few hours of free time to go lounge at the beach and hike around the resort after our workshops. The final message of Saturday night was on the man they called Simon the Cyrene, which happens to be one of my favorite stories in the bible. That message, along with prayers from Pastor Ted allowed me to receive the Holy Spirit in the most unsubtle ways. So powerful and mysterious!

I have to be honest...I didn't think I was going to get anything out of this retreat. Originally, the theme didn't interest me at all. Huda thunk? My eyes are forever opened and widened. My mind is forever expanded. My spirit is forever ignited. Now let's take the gift and fan it into flame!!!

Serengeti Trek - WOW!!

VBS 2005 - Serengeti Trek. I had the luxury of taking part in one of the holiest and exciting event of my life. Really need to thank G and C for recommending me. If not, I probably wouldn't have volunteered this year. All those kids have so much energy and love for God it's crazily contagious - and encouraging. Did I ever live a life that allowed me to be as energetic? Today simply reinforced how much I love kids, how much I love serving kids, and most importantly, how I'm a kid trapped inside an adult's body.

Insane in the membrane...

Michael Jacksion acquitted on all charges?! If it smells like a duck, acts like a duck, looks like a duck - chances are it's a dog-gone DUCK!!! Must've slipped a couple of benjamins here and there to buy out certain individuals.

Went to Macy's on Sunday to start our registry. We stood in front of the flatware section for 30 minutes trying to figure out why there were over a dozen different kinds of spoons/forks/knives. The prices were so outrageous that our friends can't possibly afford those things. Wasn't till Macy's was closing did we wander upon the cheap section. Heh....not cheap, but economical. The pots and pans section also looked really nice. But realistically, I don't think we'll use a 20-piece set. We'll use a sauce pan for Doll Noodles, one for spam and eggs, one for porkchops (maybe) and the big one for pasta. Realistically, 4-piece set is enough. Ah...then there were cutlery sets. A million different arrangements of knives...for an insane amount of money. Goodness.

Funny factoid of the week, I guess. Henckels Knives
claim to "never needing sharpening." But what do they sell with their knife set? A knife sharpener.

Another quarter bites the dust...

The end of yet another quarter at Santa Clara. This totals up to 2 years or 6 quarters worth of graduate studies. But realisitically, thi is the end of my second quarter going towards my degree. Once again, I'm on the edge of my seat begging for a B- or above just to get reimbursed. This shouldn't be the way I approach a Master's degree. I should be striving to learn as much as possible and become an industry specialist in one form or another. Instead, I'm just "getting-by" like they say. Sigh....One week of freedom then it's back to books again for summer school. Hopefully we can finish beautying up the house by then.

Grass in the backyard is dead - all dead. But I think I finally figured out how to turn on the sprinklers.

Is San Diego coming up in the near future? Sea World, San Diego Zoo, Wild Life Animal Park, Petco Park....Donavan's Steakhouse.....they all add up to $$$$

Whaddup?

Just got back from my morning dump. I've been avoiding taking dumps at home, especially if I know the package to be delivered is going to be mountainess. Don't want to deal with the plumbing - don't want to swim in my own sh-tuff. I'm still kind of skeptical about my home plumbing. The water comes out slow, the hot water takes a few seconds to "get-there." The flush isn't the all-powerful WHOOSH!!! There's gotta be some simple solution - simple meaning not replacing galvanized with copper.

Finally figured out how to turn on the sprinkler system for the backyard. For the past two weeks, the backyard has been sitting out there dry. Luckily the weather's been still semi-wet in the evenings. But I can see my grass out in the backyard is dehydrating. Hopefully I can save the grass out there - hopefully.

Went up to Napa on Saturday with Uncle and Aunt from New York. Spent a lot of time talking to these two characters who are, supposedly, very close to me whom I've seen for nothing more than 5 minutes back in 1992 at a train station in Canton. We discussed a lot of things - from the meaning of life, to politics, to education, to child raising?! CHILD-RAISING!? Then we had an hour or so worth of MahJong playing - which was probably the best part of the trip. Dad hit the nail on the head when he wanted a picture of that moment - that moment in time probably meant more to him than the entire trip combined. Cuz that's how they spent their raging 20's. Nights, weekends, holidays = Mahjong. Have a beer here and there, run down to the local noodleshop for a cheap snack, then back upstairs for more Mahjong. Mahvelous.

It's impressive how my dad and Uncle are so close. I guess family to them is more important than family to us. From my perspective, family equates to mom, dad and bro. That's how I was raised. We didn't have relatives, grandparents, cousins, second cousins. But I bet back in their days, their best friends WERE their family members.

After church yesterday, headed over to school to meet up with my friend. I intended to let him photocopy my classnotes - I was there to do him a favor. First thing he says to me is, "You have to promise not to show this to anyone. Here's a copy of last year's final." It turns out they a have a friend who auditted the class last year and someone snuck the final out with him. My friend and his little clique wants to keep this under wraps cuz they're average a B...and they need the final to pull them up to an A. Makes me feel good to hear this guy say, "They didn't want you to have it, but I told them that you helped me last quarter." Thinking back, I didn't really help him last quarter except shared with him my answers from the practice midterm. I guess to some people, that's very rare. Charity only comes on a two-way street.

Gotta be nice to everyone around you. No telling when the favor will be returned.