A shell of her former self...

Yesterday at the park... I was pretending to buy coffee and ice-cream from Nui-nui's imaginary store.  A new experience for me... but Nui-nui played along.  I gave her my orders... she took it, ran to the other side of the play structure, came back and I gave her some money.  We did that for two or three times. 

All of a sudden, I felt a sudden push on my back.  I thought it was some bully who wanted to push Nui-nui around.  Turns out, there was a line!! Lining up to "buy" stuff from Nui-nui!!  One by one... they took turns ordering food and milk and ice cream. 

I'd expect Nui-nui to simply stare at her 'customer' or turn and run away.  To my surprise, she took their orders one by one.  And as shy as my daughter is... she even mustered the words, "What do you want??" 

Wow... my daughter making friends at the playground!! That's how it's suppose to be. Some unassuming, no-hidden-agenda friendship making. 

If there's a will...there's a way...

Was talking to my buddy the other day about his dad leaving him something in their will.  What started out as a light, joking conversation turned into something serious and melancholic. 

First off... Joyce and I don't ever have to worry about fighting for inheritance, we think.  Our folks simply aren't rich enough to leave us anything.  Maybe if it was big.... like a family house... or land.... or some family heirloom.

But for families that have some riches to divvy up... I can see how this can be a touchy subject.  A house may seem like a piece of property or assest to one sibling, but it could mean years and years of memories to another sibling.  Can you really leave the house to both siblings 50/50? 

How about the fact that one sibling takes care of the aging parent day in and day out.  While the other sibling is out of the state or out of the country.  Does one sibling earn the right to have more inheritance than the other?

How about the traditional eldest in the family? Is there some stature or taboo that hovers self-proclaimed post-modernistic families?

My buddy even goes so far to say that he wouldn't care about what's left behind.  All he'd really care about is the fact the parents/grandparents are gone.  I countered by saying... that might be true for the first few weeks or even months. But as time goes by... that feeling will probably (not guaranteed) wear off.  And the focus will be on more materialistic things that are still here.  He admits that could be the case.  I don't think we walked away agreeing or disagreeing... it's just a touchy subject.

And another one leaves...

Found out today... yet another couple has left our church.  Why...?  What are we doing wrong? What is driving people away? And most importantly... why do I feel that same tug to go explore?

It's so encouraging to hear stories from other fellowships.  The things they do to expand God's kingdom.  The methods they employ to bring care for their members. The faithfulness in service that's demonstrated through their works.

If it truly is a cancer that's eating away at us... we better find it soon.  Cuz it's real.  And if we keep ignoring it... or if we keep playing along... pretty soon, the cancer could multiply and even mutate.

8-1

Niners are 8-1!?!??!?!?!  Not since 1997 had we gone 8-1!!!!!
Significance is such a foreign feeling.

Wins are still ugly and I still feel skeptical.... but the Niners just keep proving me (and the rest of the world) wrong!

SPOILER ALERT!!!

When was the word "SPOILER ALERT" invented? Probably soon after the invention of the internet... cuz I didn't start hearing that term till around the 90's. 

One of the biggest SPOILER ALERT that didn't necessarily happen to me, but still ticks me off, is hearing my buddy's experience with watching Sixth Sense starring Bruce Willis. (SPOILER ALERT!!) Halfway through the movie, according to him, his friend (or former friend) whispers "Oh Gosh! He's dead!" 
I guess he didn't really spoil it.... but in fact he did.  Same thing with any international sporting event (ie Olympics).  Same thing with primetime TV that's shown first in the East Coast.

But there's one ending that's definitely not spoiled.  As we were sharing in HG tonight... we are currently in a war.  The war that began since Genesis 3 when Adam bit into the Forbidden Fruit.  The war that's gone through centuries and centuries.  The war that continues today in the form of abortion, genocide, child prostitution, greed and more greed.  But the SPOILER ALERT is.... God will triumph. 

Isn't that an ending worth knowing?  We win!!  Well.... that depends on who you side with, I guess. 

And the truth hurts...

Took Nui-nui to see her pediatrician the other day... and after an hour's worth of diagnosis, we came to "any more questions for me?"  Joyce and I discussed the major tantrums that Nui-nui's been throwing and if she has any suggestions.  We inadvertently confess that the way we've been snapping Nui-nui out of those tantrums is to yell and scream.  And in the most non-attacking, yet most authoritative way, the doctor says, "I suggest you stop doing that." 

It's not like we don't know... and it's not like we want to...

But after that little pep talk / admonishment.... I suddenly have this new found strength to work with Nui-nui through her tantrums.  Hopefully this keeps up...

Looking back in Anger

Looking Back In Anger is a TVB Hong Kong Soap Opera that I loved watching when I was a kid... and I guess I still do now.  It was one of the first drama's I remember, where it starts out with the main character spends 90% of the drama flashing back on his life... with the remaining 10% being the climax and conclusion of the show.  Nowadays, it's been done so many times, it's considered old hat.  But after a tumultouous October... which feels like a lifetime... I have that urge to spin that coin, and when the coin lands, be zapped back into my cold icy home in San Jose typing away on my much neglected blog.

没料到我所失的, 竟已 是我的所有.

Halloween 2011

Last year Halloween... Anderson and the Gal Pal came over to watch Game 4 of the World Series (the Bumgardner game) and we ended up hiding half a dozen times from trick or treaters.

This year... church did a cool thing and planned a Family Prayer and Worship Night.  The setting was simple... just pizza, veggies and bottled water.  And the entire night was based mostly on educating, declaring and reclaiming what is ours. 

We didn't stay for the entire thing... cuz Nn was showing signs of lethargy.  Upon getting home... we're 10 feet from our driveway, we see hordes and hordes of TOTers still roaming the streets.  Darn!!  So we ended up crusing and circling for another 20 minutes to avoid them.

Next year.... I'm just gonna flat out open my house and hand out dental floss.  No more of this sneaking and hiding around!

I ain't a Lego maniac...

"Zack! Zack! He's a Lego-maniac!" --a famous commericial from back in the earl 90's.

I've never been a big fan of Lego's.  I'm impressed by some of the things that can be done with Lego's... (empire state building... darth vader.. etc...).  But I've always felt the end results of Lego's took a lot of imagination after the fact to resemble the real thing.  Plus, I was never good at building things or following instructions.  Goes to show why I dread buying any "Assembly Required" furniture from IKEA.

The biggest Lego purchase I made as a kid (and adult) for that matter... came when I was around 9-10.  With my birthday money, I went to Emporium and bought a Knight's Castle.  I distinctly remember having to choose between "King's Castle" and "The Black Knight's Castle."  The King's Castle was bigger... more grandiose... was more righteous (it was white...duh!) but it was more expensive.  The "Black Knight's Castle" was black... was smaller...and was cheaper.  With mom holding us accountable for a tight budget, I didn't have the negotiations skills to squeeze out the extra $10 from her. 

That night... ended up watching big bro assemble the whole thing by himself.  I just watched.  I don't remember if he convinced me that was a good idea so that he can have all the fun.  Or was it the manager in me directing the contractor to do my work.  Nonetheless.... we built that darn thing.  It was amazing!! Horses...knights... swords.... a swinging drawbridge.  But the next day... we disassembled the castle which instantly became humpty dumpty -- we could never put it back together again.

Flash forward 20 some odd years and yesterday, Nn wanted to buy a Lego set.  I was skeptical because the box said "Ages 7+."  Joyce was saying our daughter is playing toys beyond her age.  I think every parent thinks that about their kids.  My gut feeling was to get her some Duplo (Lego's for kids), with cute animals and characters.  When we ask Nn to choose, of course she chooses the more expensive Lego set.  I examine the box... and MAN!!!!... Lego sets sure got complicated.  And there are pieces the size of boogers (literally, not figuratively) that can get lost a the slightest breeze of a sneeze. 

And last night... guess what happened? Joyce and I assembled the Lego set and in the midst of it all... Nn was losing pieces left and right.  Kids will be kids... I kind of expected that to happen.  But the coup de grace is... after putting the set together, there are things I can't even begin to imagine what it is.  With what looks to me like a cross-over between and ostrich and a jetski.... Joyce thinks it's actually a dog.  WTH!?!?!?

"Hank! Hank! He's ain't a Lego-maniac!" --circa 2011

Pick your battles... Win, and I still lose

It's 320AM in California.  I'm wide awake. 

For the past hour, I was battling with nn.  Around 2AM this morning, she started crying and screaming.  It woke up the entire house and furthermore, she was spiraling into an uncontrollable cyclone of emotions.  The more I tried to calm her down... the louder and wilder she got.  Kicking... crying.... screaming.  Albeit.... she's 2.  But then again.... she's 2. 

"This has gone on long enough." I thought to myself.  So of all the nights... this was the night I wanted to break her.  Lay down my final expectations.  If you don't want to sleep.... you want to cry and scream and holler at the wee hours of the morning... if you can't control your emotions... then so be it.

For the next 50 minutes, I made her stand.  Stand.  No timeout.  No sit in a corner.  Plain old STAND.

She tried crawling back into bed... I told her "No, not until you stop crying."    She got louder.... I didn't back down.  She had to stand.  She went to her usual kick and scream on the floor.  I pulled her back up and said if you don't sleep, you stand!  She screamed for mom.  I said mom needs to sleep... just like everyone else including the sun. Nn pulled out every trick in her tiny 2 year old book.  And I stood pat.... she had to stand.

50 minutes.  That's almost an hour.  We wasted an hour just letting her emotions drain away.  Boy!! She's full of energy.  After 50 minutes.... she was still going beserk without any signs of tiring. 

Where did we go wrong as parents? Why did it have to come to this? She's 2.  Did we set our expectations too high? Am I too strict? Or should I believe that this is a phase...she'll grow out of it.

Whether she crawls into bed or not.... whether she fully comprehended the magnitude of her disobedience... whether or not I did the right thing by forcing her to NOT sleep... in the end, I still lose. 

唉!

天啊!  美心二十元熱食券過左期! 我隻燒鴨啊!! 冇左喇!!