What am I doing?

Wednesday Prayer Meetings at church... it happens a few times each month.  And tonight... I got two very endearing reactions from the kids.

NN: "Daddy, you're always so busy."
SW: "Does that mean we can't have a Beyblade tournament."

While driving to Prayer Meeting, I really struggled.  Asking God... what am I doing? Is this really worthed??

I got my answer at Prayer Meeting itself.  A holy, sanctified night of prayer and worship.  In the end... God revealed to me that the 2 hours spent with Him and brothers and sisters, will truly make me a better person and a better dad.  It's worth it. It really is. As much as it hurts to do so...

1 Peter 1:15

"But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do."

And Nn has an assignment today to write a paragraph on how our culture is NOT holy in accordance to God's will.  She struggled, struggled hard.  Not because it was hard to come up with sins that is incongruent with the bible, but because the topics she came up with will make her friends or her friends' parents feel bad. 

Truly.. a lesson behind the lesson.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

Stayed after school today.  The boys were either playing tennis or football on the field.

The girls - the cute and sweet girls - were playing tag using the four square lines.  They were innocent, independent and having the time of their lives.  Then 1 boy started creeping over and joining them.  Then another.  And before long... all the boys came over.  They were rough, crude and loud.  Within a blink of an eye... all the girls ran away and left the boys to themselves. 

Sigh... so dominating and rude.  In a few years... the boys will learn.  They'll learn. 

But those girls... are simply sugar and spice and everything nice.

走錯成功路 - Week 1

With everything that happened... that came together... that fell apart.  The one thing that stands out among all (for me)... Joyce did translation.  Imagine that.  I can't.  God is good.  God is amazing.  I'm soooo in love.

大家姐

Once again... I'm butting heads with 大家姐 when planning church events.  We're cordial and profession and absolutely respectful -- all for the Kingdom of the God.  Then it came to an abrupt moment of realization.

Saturday afternoon I showed up at church and I see her there sitting alone at a foldout table in front a make-shift office (really a broom closet).  She's accepting tuition and running her Chinese school -- all by herself.  No help.  No team.  No 同路人.

I walk up and probably say the last thing anyone should've have said... and then she covers her face and starts to weep.

"Why am I so dumb?? Sitting her on a Saturday afternoon by myself?? Why???"

I didn't know what to do... but sit by my dear Sister-in-Christ and say, matter of factly... "because you are crazy... crazy of Jesus."

大家姐... RESPECT.

Pumpkin Spiced "Naughty"

一年一度嘅秋季離到, 就係Pumpkin Spiced Latte (PSL) 出現嘅時候。
今日出奇地去到星巴克飲咗一啖 PSL, 覺得南瓜味唔夠, 叫barista哥哥整個杯。等左成年都為咗呢幾個禮拜。點可以出錯呢？

入口, 非常之和美, 非常之滿足. 結局同上幾次一模一樣 - 屙到七彩。屙到"fee-lee-feh-leh." 若然可以, 屙到黃膽水都屙埋出嚟。條大腸有咁乾淨得咁乾淨，全靠一杯 PSL。可以開個口號

"若然便秘, 飲杯Lah-Tay!"

咁仲飲唔飲???  當然飲啦!!!  飲到抑鈪拿鐵出現為止!

Garlic Bread

I'm usually very careful... but today I failed.  I ended up buying Sourdough garlic bread instead of French bread garlic bread for dinner. D'oh!! 

Why is something sour anyways??? Geez....

我係死八公

I don't like staying after school and mingling with the moms.  But I guess there's a reason why I do.... man.  The stuff you hear!! The stuff you learn!!  Wonder what else I've been missing out on.  I needa turn my charm onto high gear if I want to stay on top of things. 

Paul's Life and Letter Final

I missed the final class.  I hadn't had time to study.  I wasn't ready.  But there simply was no more time.  I did it anyways... and boy was it hard.

I hate that feeling.  That feeling of knowing that you don't know it.  It's completely foreign.  Did I even learn this???

I hate that feeling.  Where you see a question and you know you've seen it.  But you choose to overlook it while studying, guessing it won't be asked.

I hate that feeling.  When people around you who showed up after, gets up and leaves.

I hate that feeling.  Where you put down the right answer.... change it...  come out from the test and learn that the first answer was actually right.

I hate that feeling.  I hate that feeling of shame... where I did not live up to my full potential.

I'm thinking to myself: 但求合格、不求高分.  But I still like crap, knowing I could've done better.

LEAD Summit 2019

LEAD Summit officially came to a close today.  Some of my major takeaways....

• Be present
• If you haven't failed... you haven't risked
• WHO AM I? WHAT DO I WANT?
• There are things that are unknown to me... that have hurt others
• What are your "YES" moments?
• And most importantly, "What a tragedy... when you spend all your life trying to climb that ladder of success, only to get to the top and realize the ladder has been leaned against the wrong wall."

Weeks and weeks of preparation.  This is definitely one of those events where I was not emotionally and spiritually vested.  I did it cuz I was asked.  And I certainly did not feel go all-in on this event.  It's hard... I was distracted... so much going on these days.

But personally... being able to Emcee this event... has brought newfound validation to my style.

• Auntie Kin came up to me and said, "Have you thought about a 2nd career in stand up?"
• One of the speakers made a point to come up to me and say, "I've been to many of these events.. but you have redefined the role of emcee-ing.  I have never seen someone connect with the audience like you."
• Cheryl said, "How are you so funny? Is it natural?"
• In our survey response, one person said, "The MC was amazing. Very smooth. Great job!"
• Sandy said, "The speakers were all in awe!  They're not use to San Jose humor!  They never get this in Redding." (what is San Jose humor??"
• Elder Daniel said, "Thank you for the weekend.  You were, like, the 8th speaker!"

I can eat all the humble pie in the world. But it feels so nice to be recognized.  Dunno how I do this... but I'm glad God put me in the position to do what I do.  

I made my daughter cry...

Been one of those weeks.  And today was one of those days.

It was my turn to pick up the kids cuz Joyce has afternoon meetings.  But around 2PM, I had a feeling the meeting was going to run long.. so I told Joyce we might have to send the kids to after care.  I should've, but didn't, send one extra text, "Can you let the school know?" 

When I got to school 30 minutes... the kids were angry and frustrated... for obvious reasons.  It turns out Joyce did not let the school know.. so the kids were just sitting at aftercare waiting.  They walk to the car and one of the parents came up to me and asked if NN was ok, she's crying.

I didn't know what happened... so I gently asked her. 

"You had me so scared and worried!!!" 

Ohhhhhhh.... NN.... Bah B is so sorry. =( 

I couldn't stop her from weeping and balling.  My little baby just lost it.... Shame on me, not for being late, cuz it happens.  Shame on me for not calling.  Sigh....