Vanished

Logged into my old hotmail account... the account I rarely use anymore cuz of SPAM.. and everything was GONE!! VANISHED!! EVERYTHING!! I had that the account since 1999 - almost 10 years. I've used that account for many things - one of which was exchanging emails with my wife during our younger years. It's like having 10 years of my life - erased. Gone. Disintegrated. Wiped Out. So be careful of what you store electronically. It too can we wiped out with a blink of an eye.

Mood: nostalgic

The Designated Hitter

Another one of those timeless debates - should we have the Designated Hitter in baseball? I personally love the idea of having a DH. You have good offense up and down the order. Every ninth at-bat isn't a sure out (almost). And the other night, Matt Cain got the win in Seattle, only because there was a DH.

There are those naysayers out there who say it's not pure baseball. We devalue the pitcher's hitting capability. And AL baseball is not as strategic as NL baseaball. To those people... I say, "Ah-ha!" And that's all I can say...

Mood: partially vindicated

Lose it, Pray, Find it...

Was working on my car this morning and as I was putting the pieces back together, when a tiny O-ring flew out of my hands! Had no idea where it landed. LOST IT. On the ground? In the car? Beneath the car? Between the seats? Stuck between the grooves of my tire?

I sweep the entire area(s), not once, not twice, not thrice, not quatrice (is there such a word?) and couldn't find it. So I PRAY... A definite lack of faith cuz I decide to just fab one out of a paper clip - Failed. 10 minutes later as I was clean up the rest of my stuff, lo and behold, there it was on the floor. FOUND IT.

Mood: Impressed

After 10 years...

You date someone... you fall in love with someone... you marry someone... you're about to be parents with someone... After all that time (> 10 years) do I find out that someone is a Trekkie!!!! WOW!!!!

Mood: giddy

Winning or Losing

Watched an episode of Star Trek TNG. Data (the infallible) lost in a game of Strategeum to a humanoid. And spent the whole episode figuring out what was wrong with his "program." Jean-Luc Picard scolded him saying, "You can make every perfect move and still lose. That's life."

Mood: content

If I were to have amensia...

Amensia, apparently, doesn't happen all too often. It's more in movies then anything else. But people tend to be drawn to this story plot cuz deep down, I think all of us can't resist the idea of losing our memory and starting over, starting with a clean slate...

What would I do if I had amensia?

I would think my personality wouldn't really change, right? But to get a little creative...

Maybe I'll be a thespian. Maybe I'm an actor striving to survive in the streets of Brooklyn. All my friends would be white or black - not Asian. I'll have an East Coast accent - that mingles well with my California-Chinese accent. My nose will be pierced... probably just one side. I'll wear boots, not shoes, with unmatching socks. I don't think I'll have long hair though, cuz that's something I did while I was conscious. Would probably be swung waaaaaaaay to the left on the political spectrum. I'll campaign for stem cells, abortion rights, leave Iraq and national health care. I'll probably hate sports cuz it's a waste of time and a waste of the mind. My fingers will be calloused cuz I can play 4 instruments well... and 4 other like a virtuoso. Coffee, beer and steak will be my diet - unless I'm out of a job cuz the acting gig isn't serving me well... but that too, is too close to concious reality. Every morning, I'll go swimming in the Hudson River because 1) it's healthy and 2) I really don't know where the Hudson River is. My ride will be a beat up 1984 Datsun that I know how to fix whenever it breaksdown. (See this is highly unrealistic). Then the moment I wake up from amensia... (to be continued...)

Hrm...who's to say that my current life isn't the amenisiac. And the aforementioned description is my real self?

Mood: contemplative

"I don't deserve this..."

Listened to a '60 Minutes' podcast about potential retirees who lost their 401k this past year. Some of them are old... they're overqualified... they're underqualified... they don't have the quick skills that a young grad has... and they have nowhere to go.
"I don't deserve this."

Some 50 year old former manager is working at a Starbucks taking orders from a snot-nose 20 year old. That same 50 year old works a weekend job at a mortuary greeting mourners and family members.
"I don't deserve this."

The Sharks are eliminated from round 1 of the playoffs in Game 6. Game 6 being a cursed game for us Bay Area fans. All these years I've poured out my heart for my teams and what do I get back? Nothing.
"I don't deserve this."

I need to get out...but I can't. I too, have no where to go. I'm stuck.
"I don't deserve this."

Mood: depressed

It ain't well...with my soul...

It's a little embarrassing when my life is wrapped around professional teams that have no loyalty to me. They don't know my existence. I pour out my life and my heart for them and they can either pick it up and raise it to the highest honors or rip it out and slice and dice it for dinner. Yet I fall, no I succumb to this nonsense every year.

~sigh... stupid sharks. ~sigh... stupid giants hitting. ~sigh... stupid moped. ~sigh... ~sigh...

Mood: hot (due to the weather mostly)

No no no...say it ain't so!!!

Losing 5 in a row!!! Walking in the winning run!! Throw a friggin' strike for cryin' out loud!!!! UGH!!!!!! Why do they have to do this to me every year!!?!?!?

Why do the Giants suck so much?
Why can't the Giants hit in the clutch?
Ticket and beer prices are higher than ever,
Win a World Series, I say "NEVER!"
Glimmer of hope, glimmer of light
It's not what I see, not at all, not quite;
My blood pressure climbing ever so high,
What if they don't win before I die?

Mood: frustrated

Holy Week and Borsch

• The Youth are full of energy - too much energy, sometimes. Was I ever like that?
• Saw a man wearing a rabbit suit walk into a Blockbuster.
• I ain't the only one who watches Stephen Chow movies dubbed in Vietnamese on Youtube
• Some have a knack for altar calls - some don't. Not a competition, just an observation.
• Had a Passover meal with unleavened bread, bitter "herbs" and lamb. Don't think we're doing that again.
• A Chinese person ordered Sweet-N-Sour Pork at a chinese restaurant.
• Talking things out can be self-healing... should talk more often
• Love playing but not very good at matchmaking
• Finding a church is easy. Finding a church to stay is not.
• I made borsch and it was borschin' good!

Mood: giddy

Economic Downturn...

The downturn, though it's dwelling everywhere, finally hit home this past week. Two members of my team are being targetted for "reassignment." This really bothers me. In any team, I've always been the one to leave. The first time I had to personally kick someone off my team was when I laid off my gardener. All these times I was in the driver seat and running the show. I hate the feeling of helplessness when things are beyond my control. Hate it hate it hate it...

Mood: irritated