Remodel - Day 207

The final stretch... it's so close we can almost taste it.  And it's at this most crucial point where things start falling apart.

For 6 months... Joyce and I got into 1, maybe 2 arguments over the remodel.  I've heard stories where people get divorces over remodeling.  And now today... I ripped into her like I'm cursing at my worst enemy.  I screamed into the phone so loud... I couldn't even believe my own ears.

Whoever was right... whoever was wrong... in the end, I was wrong.  I should have never yelled.  Should have never raised my voice.  And in all ways, even if she was 100% wrong, take her side. 

Ughhhh...... the enemy is seeing how we're growing in Christ.  And the enemy is not happy.  I know he will continue to ambush us and make false accusations.  Must stand firm.

In technical sense... things are falling apart.  The electrician... who we spent so much time instructing and care-taking when he wired the house, is finally putting on the lights.  And of course... they're wrong.  With the walls being up now... short of removing all the walls and starting over... there's nothing we can do.  Uggggghhhhhhhhh......................................

Livid!!!!!

One of the scariest texts I've ever received came from Joyce earlier today:


J: People telling sw he looks like a girl, now he chops off his own hair.
J: People need to mind their own business
Me: Who?
J: Don't know who.  He says someone says he looks like a girl
Me: He cut his own hair?
J: Yes


To some... this may seem funny or cute.  But to me... this is a horrifying of what may happen.  I was scared.  I was angry.  I was livid!!!


Horrified and scared because my little baby fell victim to peer pressure.  People (and I have a good feeling who) keep telling him he needs to cut his hair.  People that he trusts and loves.  And the more he hears it... the more he loses his self-confidence and self-esteem.  He's 4!!!!!  If people can manipulate him like this now... what can possibly happen to him when he's a teenager? or in college?  Absolutely horrifying.


I was anger and livid.  I let it out on Joyce.  I told her... "This is a wake up call!!! Just cuz you think he looks cute... and you like it... you have to understand you put him in this situation!!  You (and here's where I caught myself and said, "We") can't dress him up or shape him into something we want... but serve him up for ridicule.  He's not old enough to know how to deal with this!!!" 


This time, he cut his hair.  I can't imagine what else kids these days will do to themselves......

I am Cain

Cain - the eldest son of Adam and Eve.  The older brother of Abel and Seth.  The one who committed the first murder in the written history of man.  The motive - jealousy? The background... God did not find favor in his offering.  I am Cain.


Monday night... I am full of jubilance.  I just came from a wonderful Servant Leadership Training course taught by Derrick.  He reminded us that we are all priests and need to bring prayer back to our homes.  I was so encouraged I even went to Sunday Intercession, first time in over 5 years.  Monday morning, I got up a half hour early and did TWA. Monday night... I was determined to have Family Altar time.  And here's where it fell apart.


Instead of true worship with guitar or piano.  I lazily found two songs on Youtube. Instead of finding words / phrases of Praise / Thanksgiving / Declaration.... I had the kids listen to me read from the bible. Instead of giving them a chance to pay full attention...they were restless and wanted to play.


Halfway through our Family Altar time... Joyce scolded Nn for chewing her hair. 
Halfway through our praise and worship time... I take a toy away from Siu Wah... and he starts pouting.


What was suppose to be a wonderful time spent with the Lord... turned out to be a total failure.


You get what you put into it.  Garbage in, garbage out.  We did not put any effort or heart into our worship.  And what came out... was exactly what we put in there. 


So sorry and disappointed in myself....

Remodel - Day 196

Gawd when is this gonna be over??

I'm so sick of negotiating with the GC. Joyce keeps putting me in these tough positions... And I get all worked up.  I feel so anal retentive and petty... and I'm the very person that I personally detest. 

Ughhh..... I know.  I know that whatever I have to endure for 5 minutes every now and then is nothing compared to what Joyce has been through the past 7 months.  But still.... haggling is just not my thang.

I'm sure the GC does this all the time. And if we don't negotiate... he'll just run all over us.

Counting down the days.. 

Or maybe..... I'm actually really good at this.  And I should just get use to it and maybe make a career out of it.  (pause to think)  Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah.......

Looking back at 2015

I'm almost 11 months into 2016.... time to write my "Looking back at..." post. 

Since it's been so long since I drafting this post, I'm just gonna whip through it and call it DONE.  Top 8 events in ascending order.... why 8??? I have no idea.


8.  Wine Cork Way - After 10 years of living on Theresa Lane, we finally remodeled.  Through the weeks and weeks of frustration in looking for temporary housing, we were about to move EVERYTHING into storage and rent a hotel. When on a fateful Saturday, we find the perfect condo. Truly divine intervention.  And unlike the 20 other places we looked for, this place wants a short term lease!  No 9 month lease...or 12 month lease with a penalty clause.  Originally, the landlady had someone else lined up.  But for whatever reason, the first choice fell through and we were next on her list.  When applying for the place, I even went as far as sending a family portrait to her... to show her how cute my kids are.  Not only does it have central AC (for one of the hottest summer ever!!!), it had a private washer and dryer, a 2 car garage... AND we had a swimming pool.  This cozy little 2 bed 2 bath condo sorta became our vacation home.  It was also the place that Nn learned to ride a bike. And the best thing.... it was only 0.5 mile away from home.

7. Nui-nui - PTC/graduation - Parent Teach Conference, I cry. Graduation - valedictorian. 

6. Star Wars - Episode 7.  Waiting in line for 4 hours.  Why? Cuz I love Star Wars.

5. Wanting to Quit - I hate my boss' boss.  The devastation is too much to bear.  Took my authority away.  Then gives it back to me.  Then takes it away.  I can't stand it. 

4. Warriors Champions - another one bites the dust.  One more Bay Area team wins a championship.  And it was beautiful.


3. Big bro gets married / becomes a father - Finally. 

2. Remodel - after two redraws....we finally start.  Part of the worst nightmares we've had to go through.  Never had we collectively hated someone so much.  But alas... it's done.

1. Christmas Day Incident - Nn's finger.  Carved up my baby's finger.  Got her into the emergency room.  And almost a year has past and I still get shivers every time I think about it.

Remodel - Day 187

Been almost 3 months since I've talked about remodeling.  The job is finally coming to it's last weeks.  But the past couple of months have been horrible, absolutely horrible. The silver lining in this whole ordeal is... it's coming to an end.  

We're so tired with the GC.  His lies... his undermining... his nickel and diming (when it's to his advantage)... the lack of quality and pride in their work... the lack of following directions.  It's insane. There's no love lost.  We absolutely hate each other and there's no hiding it.  

Joyce is absolutely sick of this relationship and all I want to do is make life miserable for the GC.   But I also know that if there's anyone you can't piss off, it's the guy who has your baby in their hands.  Who knows what they can do.  So every time we deal with them... we pray for God's grace to come upon us.  

Maybe it's us... maybe Joyce and I are just too anal retentive.  And we actually have a semi-decent memory of what is said/written.  And we can't stand anyone who backs off on any word they say -- and we love calling them out on it.  But I have a feeling this GC has never dealed with customers like us. 

Anyhoo... counting down the days. 

 I guess things are looking half-decent.

 

The kitchen is coming together.

As a reminder, this job was suppose to be done in October.  Then Christmas.  Now it's looking like Chinese New Year.