A digital covenant

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 8

Been struggling mightily the past week on Parenting in a Digital Era.  It's not NN's fault... it's not bad parenting... it's not her influential friends... it's none of the above.  It's all of the above.  It IS what it is. 

Came to a breaking point the other day when I was so pissed... I smashed a water bottle onto the floor out of frustration and anger.  It was not right.  This is not right.  The enemy's stronghold on my family was suffocating, debilitating, life-threatening.  Earlier today.. we decided that it will take our family bonded together to get pass this bump in the road. 

 

It’s beyond the thumbs

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 7

What happened to my carrots!?!??! Aye..... 

 

For Forever

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 6

Pandora greeted me this morning with “For Forever” followed by “For Forever.” Back to back. Same song. This hasn't happened in...  For forever. 

All we see is light for forever
'Cause the sun shines bright for forever
Like we'll be alright for forever this way
{{Two friends}} on a perfect day

愛、回家

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 4

Epilogue: Something went wrong with the recording and my voice didn't come through.. shucks.  A bunch of folks in our congregation missed out.  But unexpectedly... Dad has been watching and I haven't seen him this proud of me in years.  Using his phone to take a selfie with me and PT on his iPad. Glad I made him proud... if at least... those 20 minutes.   

When life gives you lemons...

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 3

SW had a Minecraft birthday party yesterday... and the sad thing is... one of the more advanced, older players built a campfire INSIDE his house and destroyed his creation.  SW was so appauled... he quit Minecraft, ditched his party, ran into his room and cried underneath his covers.  What's a father to do.. when your child is THAT CHILD.  The one that gets picked on... the underdog who sooner or later needs to grow up and stand up for himself.  I immediately got sucked in.. thinking of ways to reprimand that kid... of getting revenge.. of teaching that kid a lesson.

SW....being the glorious child that he is.. didn't seek vengeance. He was sad...he was hurt... but he took it in stride. Famously claiming, "I have a good temper." 

Today.. he announced that he built a secret passage way between 3 of his houses... so if it happens again..  he has an escape route.  

What a kid... dunno where he gets it.  He's so resilient.  Able to bounce back from adversity and find new ways to bounce back.  My son... when life gave him lemons... he was able to make lemonade.  His father, today, learned so much from his son. 

A new beginning

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 1

158 Days later, school finally reopens, for NN at least.  SW's school doesn't start for another week. 

I was a nervous wreck.  A new school.  New rhythm. New teachers.  New technology Major shifts and transitions. And I hate to admit it... a new way of parenting.  And then at night... we checked NN's online activity during school.  Google Hangout.  Scratch.  Safari.  Word Matt.  Things that she shouldn't be doing...but who can blame her.  She's easily distracted and the temptation is too hard to resist. 

SW on the other hand was free as can be.  Woke up and ate breakfast and started binging on X-Men.  Then around 9AM, he switched over to Minecraft.  After multiple Hangout sessions while Minecrafting, he walks into a birthday party he wasn't initially invited to - cuz today was "Minecraft Day."  By the time dinner rolled around... he logged in almost 8 hours of screentime.  Aye....

Ended up locking down her iPad and disabling non-school related apps.  She's going to be so pissed when she finds out tomorrow - the hard way.  And as for SW... what do we do with him??

Day 1 of a new page in the Leung History.  How do we combat this? What do we do or say? How do we parent? How do we teach? I have no clue.  Greater parents before us have tried and failed.  What can we possibly do that will top what they've tried or done?  Can only 見步行步, 睇餸食飯。 And really... 定睛仰望耶和華。

本性難移

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 157

We celebrated the kids' successful first day of Chinese school..... by letting them get a game on their iPads.  And SW couldn't hold it in anymore... he once again asked for Minecraft.  Something he's wanted all summer.  But we've refused to get for one reason or another.  It's addicting.  It's poor graphics.  It's a predator's dream come true.  And it costs money.  Yeah... you heard that right.  It costs money!!!  

And the past two days.... the kids couldn't be happier (including NN!!!)  They're building houses.  Hunting for food.  Going into creative mode.  And survival mode.  SW quickly told his friends he's on Minecraft and they jumped on a Google Hangout meeting for hours.  Poor NN.... none of her friends play. But she's enjoying it nonetheless.  So long Animal Crossing.... 

I finally ask... "How much did it cost?"

Joyce's response... "You don't wanna know..."

I don't wanna know.... aye...

Another year...

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 155

Another year... And this year... I got quadruple blessings. Joyce and the kids did a mini-treasure hunt for me. They hid stuffed animals with a blessing on each. 

 我 赤 身 出 於 母 胎 ， 也 必 赤 身 归 回 ； 赏 赐 的 是 耶 和 华 ， 收 取 的 也 是 耶 和 华 。 耶 和 华 的 名 是 应 当 称 颂 的 。 

And the Lord blessed me so much today... an amazing breakfast followed by my favorite lunch and dinner. And we got sushi and sashimi for the kids. Life is good... nay... life is great.  Capped off the night with a Zoom Session with the Guys followed by a Google Hangout with Nita, Geoff and Anderson.  

Tired... can't do this anymore.  Ain't young anymore. 

鬓影星星知否

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 154

Woke up in this morning and my left arm is sore... like I've been weight lifting or something, which I obviously haven't. Did I sleep on it? Was it from when we went to the beach and I overused it from hauling the wagon?  Then it finally occurred to me.  I'm strained it while playing Wii Boxing with SW Aye.... 

Stop and smell the roses

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 152

Orientation Day for NN at TKA yesterday. She got her student ID, met some new friends and retrieved her textbooks for the coming school year. And with that... it kicked off my efforts to clean the house in preparation for school restarting.  As I started picking up our mess... I started tearing... starting crying... and started bawling.  

5 months have gone by.... Zoom.  Google Classroom.  Distance Learning.  PE in the garage. Scanning and submitting homework.  Followed by a strict summer curriculum of Khan Academy.  Those nightly struggles of learning and practicing Chinese.  NN's 5th grade Reading Comprehension workbook.  The failed attempt at an Economics Lesson. And of course.. those trusty Costco Notebooks.  

You blink... and it's gone.  5 months of precious family time.  Cooking breakfast.  Before they swallowed their last mouthful... you start thinking about lunch.  And right after lunch is served, "Bah-B, what's for dinner?"

That pizza that big bro delivered.  Ordering delivery from Cheesecake Factory for Joyce's  bday. The Wing Stop that came on SW's bday.  Mother's Day spent eating cold, wet sandwiches outside Grace's house.  Followed by Dad coming in for Father's Day.  

Tuesday nights of carving up Amazon cardboard boxes for recycling.  Binge watching Slamdunk... followed by the Amazing Race.. then Perfect Strangers.. followed by Full House and then Fuller House. 

Calling PAL chicken for cancelling CNY. Making door hangers with the kids. Planning a Evangelistic Meeting for CS - which was cancelled before it even started. Countless Prayer Meetings and FOTA.  Youtubing our pre-recorded Sunday Service with dad posting on the boards every Sunday.  Followed up by dad joining us for Saturday morning Bible Study. 

Ping Pong.  HIIT.  Running a 10 minute mile.  Badminton.  Followed by touch football on our artificial front lawn. And back to badminton. 

Google Hangout playdates. Pokemon Go...that led right into Brawl Stars... that swung back to Pokemon Go... to finally getting a Switch and Animal Crossing and eventually... flipping Double Dragon (with a little bit of modern day technology's help). 

Beach Day... followed by another beach day... and another... until we finally hit the jackpot of 90 degree weather.  Only to walk into wildfires all across the Bay Area leaving a scent of soot and smoke in the air.  

I was bawling... cuz everything slipped by and we did not capture these moments.  10-15 years from now... everyone will have their version of what happened.  But just like the earthquake of '89... or 9/11.... or whatever monumental event of your generation... they will all slip away.  Like the sand from a beach through your fingers.  Where you can only wish and hope... your fingers did not have holes for the memories to leak.  

Why didn't I spend more time capturing memories....?? And then I scroll up... and realize... 152 days later... I did capture these moments in time. 

生活點滴

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 151

What matters most in a tweenage girl's life?? When you walk into her room and ask, "What's going on?" And she says in the most pressing serious tone, "I don't know to wear tomorrow!"  Orientation day.  Oh geeez.... 

And then there's the other child...

"Bah-B, is it true that Dawn Ultra Detergent can remove any stain?"

"And is Bounty really the quicker thicker picker upper??" 

"If there really are aliens...and they came and saw us... will they think WE'RE ugly?"

I'm watching Netflix and he crawls up next to me.  I'm chuckling at some off the cuff joke... and SW goes "Huh-huh-huh.... (short pause) Not funny."  

Sigh... these moments in time... wish I can capture them in a bottle. Instead, I have this. 

Stir up a hornet's nest...

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 150

Was in the back yard today... trying to stage four of my stools so I can spread my kitchen area rug on it for some spraying and cleaning.  All of a sudden... I see 3 or 4 flying insects dart out of nowhere and then *PINCH!!!!!*. I got stung by a wasp!!!!  

It hurt... a lot.  But the worst part is... the pain grew bigger and longer.  Burning.  Knifing.  With a whole lot of twisting!!!  I screamed.  I jumped.  I ran... afraid the rest of its friends would come after me.  The kids popped their heads out and I promptly shooed them indoors and closed the door.  The pain continued.  I examined the spot where I got stung... and a huge ball was there now.  Did my foot swell up so fast so bad?!?!?!  I looked for the stinger... remembering that wasps don't leave a stinger.  I shined my phone's light on there to get a better look and realized that ball... wasn't a swollen mass... but rather my ankle.  Ok... anatomically, it belonged there.  Heh...

Quickly googled what I oughta do... wash with soap and water then ice it.  Good enough.  Easy enough.  Warm water? Cold water? Doesn't say.... then I remembered when SW had his nut allergic reaction...that a warm bath exasperated his hives.  Sigh... the pain finally subsided.  The venom had drained into my skin and was now in my blood.  

After I iced it for a few minutes... I grabbed my can of organic, environmentally safe wasp spray out to pay my respects.  They were gone.  Without a trace.  Then out of curiosity... I turned one of the stools over and there it was... on the bottom of the stool was a wasp nest the size of a ping pong ball, crawling with 4-5 of those wasps.  Dang it.... who would've known.  After I exterminated two of their more visible nests....there lies a third one, out of sight.  How many more are there??????  

Wasps.... I hate wasps.  Grrrrr.......  The only silver lining out of all this.  It was me who got stung and not Joyce or the kids.  

What is that...?

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 148

Here's the latest dump... I ain't sh!tin you.... I know it's a load of crap... and I won't poo-poo on the fact the #2 issue in my household today is...........  when I found not 1 but 2 brown pieces of soft serve on my porch.  WTH!?!?!? 

For better or worse

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 147

Approximately 15 years ago... I made a vow in front of God and man that I will stand with my wife.. for better or worse. And today... I broke that vow.  

It's been over a month since Joyce and NN had a blow up... but it happened today.  And once it happened... I made a choice, a wrong choice.  After their initial fight, which I dutifully stood non-partisan, I strongly suggested that the parent reach out to the child in hopes of peace.  Well... that didn't happen.  What happened was a bigger blow-up than the initial squabble.  I was so pissed.  So pissed that I threw the ...... and smashed it to the sink.  The echoes of my action is still ringing in my ears right now.

The results... a sobbing, weeping tweenage daughter.  And worst yet.... a wife who sits watching Netflix, deflated, defeated, in shambles.  Today... I chose something else other than my wife.  I chose my daughter.  Not with my words but with my actions...of which.... I will regret for the rest of my days.

There I saw... the love of my life... my mate... my best friend... hopeless... full of shame... too hurt to even cry.  And me... the man who once vowed to stand beside her in all circumstances... betraying her.  Breaking my vows.  In good times and in bad... I chose the easy way out.

I'm shamed.  I'm humiliated.  I'm..... a sinful man.  And I.... today... broke my vows to God and man.  I'm sorry Hunny.  I apologized... but it was too late. 

為罪為義為審判

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 147

Since who knows how long... I made NN run a mile with me today. And today... unlike previous days, she didn't rebel. Why? Cuz she was being punished. Yesterday... she pinched her little brother and she was not getting away with it. I didn't punish her right away... but this was coming. She knew it. And I knew it.

During our run... I was thinking of our "pep-talk." What can I say that may register to why I was sourcing this punishment. Then it came to me... I told her two stories.

Back in 6th or 7th grade... dad took Big Bro and I to watch a movie.  For whatever reason... Big Bro punched me on the shoulder before the movie started.  Dad ended up separating us.  After the movie... Big Bro went home by himself.  I went grocery shopping with dad.  And what did dad do? Nothing. All he did was ask, "佢打你痛唔痛呀？" I ended up tearing up.  What was I suppose to say... "Yes?" And sound like a wuss.  No... I was tearing up... cuz I was expecting dad to lay the smackdown on Big Bro for hitting me.  That never happened.  

Sometime in 6th or 7th grade... we were at home one summer... and there was a microwave dish on the floor.  For whatever reason... I pissed Big Bro off and he shoved the dish, sliding on the floor, and he smashed my big toe, cracking the nail and I was bleeding - big time.  That afternoon... dad came home.  What did dad do? Nothing.

Those two events... long forgotten in the confines of yester-year came floating back today.  When one child physically hurts another child... there needs to be consequences.  For sin. For righteousness. For even the facade of non-favoritism.  I got none of that.  Those memories... struck a chord.  It hurts till this day.  

Did dad really do nothing? I doubt it. He may have had a talk.  He may have done "something." But not to my knowledge.  It's what I choose to believe.

Not today.  Not me.  

I told Nui-nui... today it's pinching.  Who's to say tomorrow won't be punching.  There is almost absolute no reason for bodily harm.  And I will punish you... or SW... or anyone for doing so.  And I will be fair.  And I will make it known. I won't be the parent that does nothing.  

And after almost two months of layover... NN did a 10 minute mile.  

再破天方

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 144

Didn't think this day would come... but it happened.  All it took was a pandemic. And on this day (well, yesterday, really), Dad and I had our first bible study together.  

Sure... 80% of the time was spent on introductions, blowing water and playing ice-breaking games.  But we sat down... we read a few bible passages together.  And we prayed.  

Phew..... 3 more sessions to go!

Happy Birthday, Mui

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 143

Celebrated Grace's birthday tonight. We even drove up to Town and got a quart of cocktail for her.  I admire Grace, a lot.  She's the closest thing I have to a younger sister.  Something or someone I've always wanted.  I applaud her as she raises 2 kids as a single parent.  And I kowtow to her as she embarks on her MBA at this junction of her life/career.  And though she will never.... ever... in any right situation, ever call me 阿哥.... nor has she ever called me 姐夫... I take solace in the fact that I can call her 妹 and she'll respond in an instant.  As if she's accepted that fact already.  

How blessed I am... truly... that I have an {{AM}}. 

Schedule Day

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 142

Remember the day you got your hands on your schedule? What's the first thing you'd? You compare it to your best friends.  Class schedule is either a door to salvation... where you'll be stuck for the next 4 months with your friends (or soon to be friends) or it's a death sentence... where you'll be stuck for the next 4 months all by yourself (or get picked on forevermore). 

NN's schedule was released yesterday... and that's exactly what she did.  She jumped on to Google Meet and started comparing X's and O's with her friends.  Some things never change.... Praying that NN will have a wonderful year this coming school year. 

Enough is enough

 COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 141

I was sitting on my swing in the backyard... contemplating what I'll do.  Then she came out and apologized.  And I made a decision... I got up.  Didn't look at her.  And went back in the house.  As I walked back into the kitchen....all I can hear was her crying.  She crossed the line this time - waaaaaay past the line. But was that warranted??  

What am I doing??

唔係對話, 係會話

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 140

Summer is almost over... and with that... Chinese School will be starting soon. So I kicked things into high gear and started having NN and SW re-read their lessons from last year.  It's amazing how much they remember despite doing it just once a week.  Credit goes to the teachers for their patience and teaching style... and of course... Momma, who spent hours working with them week in and week out.  

It dawned on me (once again) that recognizing words and reading characters (via pin yin, mind you) is very elementary yet hardly applicable.  Without having the luxury of watching Mandarin VOD (it's banned in our household), I'm turning to SIL for some tutelage.  

Today we kicked off a Zoom Conversation Session - hopefully, the first of many.  If you're going to practice your vocab and converse with someone, might as well be a pure Beijingnese, right??  The world is fair though... we're all created differently and some people can, while others simply can't teach.  Not to fault her or anything... teaching is engrained, but is also developed.  

Cue in big bro...who just happened to be doing laundry at our house.  He patiently sat by SW the entire session.  Cheering him.  Encouraging him.  Making light of the situation.  Making SW feel at ease.  But 10 minutes into the session... I can see tears forming in his eyes.  He was struggling.  He knew... he was failing.  SIL could've easily remedied it like any seasoned teacher - but that's as foreign to her as the language SW was trying to learn.  

NN on the other hand... was her usual valedictory self.  Spoke with confidence. Rattled words off like she knows what's going on.  And dared to ask for help when she needed it.  She's there to learn.  She knows the tricks of the trade. To get good... you need to get help.  

And out of the blue... dad saw the Zoom link and he also joined in.  Heh.... he helped and hurt, at the same time.  

But on top of it all... we had family time.  20 years from now... we'll look back at these sessions and laugh about it.  Not knowing where this will go or how long we can sustain, if anything, this is helping us build a bond as a family that we've never had a chance to do, even though we live a mere 5 miles away.  

Risk

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 139

Started playing Risk with NN and SW on our personal devices.  It's nice revisiting a game from our past... a game we started playing at Boys Club... and eventually buying our own to play at home.  We never truly understood the rules, so this time, we're playing it for real.

The game is simple... and it's a lot of luck.  I guess there are some skills involved.  And if I search online, they probably have tips on the best countries and continents to conquer.... or how to best defend certain areas.  

Played a game yesterday where NN and SW ganged up on me.  Typical.  Take out your common enemy first and worry about the rest later.  But halfway through elimination (which is slow and painful), I received a text from NN that I missed.  She wanted to secretly team up with me and take over Europe.  Actually.. she was allying with me to get rid of SW.  Heh... conniving.  As luck would have it... or opportunity intersecting with preparation... SW (the non-competitive one) wiped out his enemies on his way to global domination.  

Had a rematch this morning and it was my turn to rule the world.  But I showed mercy to my flesh and bone and instead of attacking... I kept on setting up defenses in my two favorite countries.  NN ended up coming from behind and crushed everyone.  She was so happy the rest of the day - she couldn't stop talking about it.  I'm still smiling as a type these words.  

Next time....? NO MERCY!!!!!!!!!