Online dating -- revisited

One of those days - so I'll spend some time answering those online dating questions. I have a feeling these answers won't land me into the "interesting prospect" category. C'est la vie....


1. What do you love most about the place you're living in? Have you ever lived anywhere else?

Most of my life, I've lived in California. And I've always been no farther than an hour from the coast. Is it by choice or by happenstance? I don't know. But two words can sum up what I love most about living here - Options and Selection. What options do I have here? Well... There's the great outdoors (to which I like but I don't spend a lot of time in). There's multi-culturalism (yet all my friends are Chinese with one or two Flips). There's also the arts (in which I go to museums if they're free and attend theater once a year). It's a place flourshing with different industries and job opportunities (but I'm still in the same profession and don't have the guts to move out). It's also a place of shopping convenience where I can drive just 15 minutes to get to anywhere I want to go (but it takes 45 minutes to actually get there cuz of traffic). But the bottomline is - the option is out there! Whether or not I take advantage of it... well... that's why I love most about living here.



2. Tell me about your closest friend. How long have you known him/her; and what do you like best about him/her?

I can probably pull something together for Anderson. Or scribble some notes for Gonzo. And there's always the Best Man speech at the Short-n-Stubby's wedding. But easily, hands down - my closest friend is my wife! My best friend! My soul mate! My other half. Which totally defeats the purpose of online dating if I'm married. So I'll skip this question.

3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I am able to speak in the tongues of men and of angels. I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and I have mountain-moving faith. I can give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames. I can do all that. Yet - I'm impatient. I am unkind. I am quite boastful and proud. I'm downright rude, always self-seeking. Anger is my middle name. I have a great memory - mostly from how you've crossed me. I shy away from the truth but embrace the dark side. I lack self-confidence, I'm in despair, I'm full of doubt and I easily deter from the goal. But all those fault seem miniscule compared to what I want to change. Let's just say I wish I can give out unconditional love like our Abba Father loves us.

Mood: Loved

爸爸的信

Got an email from my dad today...

瀚兒﹕

你好
溢曦的誕生是大喜事。我知道﹐你們是有自己的計劃去培養她成長﹐祝願你們的計劃能夠成功﹐也祝愿小孫女能茁壯成長。也許﹐你們會問我對她的期望﹐只有兩點﹕1﹐牢記自己是中國人﹔2﹐不要從政當官。我希望她將來能夠做到。

爸爸

Hrm... I don't think I'll have problems with #1. But #2...

Mood: determined

Blurfing = Surfing + Blog

I just made up a word: Blurfing = Blog + Surfing. verb. It's a time when one surf's on the internet for other people's blogs. (copyright 2009)

Just got done blurfing through some old friends' blogs. It's amazing how interesting people's lives can be. Or how dis-interesting my life is.

One friend's blog stands out though. I spent a good 20 minutes going through his past few months. This friend is supposedly a close friend, but in reading the blog, do I realize I know nothing about him. It was a bit eery and very much more sad. When did we cross that point of no return? Do I even try to reach out to him again? Or has that come and gone, let's move on?

Mood: sad

Online dating

A buddy of mine has been using one of those online dating services. By all means I support this endeavor. Though it sounds silly or even desperate to some, I know of many cases where couples truly "find' each other through the power of the internet.

So my buddy and my buddy's courtee if you may, have been exchanging questions and answers. Kinda like small talk at a bar... but a lot deeper questions that require soul-searching and at the same time, reveals your soul. Three questions as of late:

1. What do you love most about the place you're living in? Have you ever lived anywhere else?
2. Tell me about your closest friend. How long have you known him/her; and what do you like best about him/her?
3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Why these three questions? And how would I answer them? We'll save that for another post.

Mood: curious

Birth of my Child - Running Diary

There's no way I could've summarized the birth of my child in a paragraph or two. Since I had a laptop with me (and a lot of spare time), here's my first ever Running Diary of the events that transcribed leading up to the birth of my child...

June 16, 2009

8:15PM - Joyce started having contractions about 24 hours ago. We're considering heading over to the Lee's for the Joseph College / YA Meeting. We even drove up to their front door. But their driveway and adjacent spaces were full. Joyce wasn't up for walking. so we went to Tops Cafe for dinner instead.

10:35PM - We call the on-call doctor. She suggests we go to the hospital. Frankly, we thought it was still too early.

11:00PM - Arrived at Labor and Delivery and checked in. We're very confident they'll send us home since contractions are still pretty far apart (7-10 min). Doesn't everyone get sent home at least once? It's amazingly quiet here. I thought June will be high-season.

11:30PM - Just got confirmation we're staying the night! Turns out Joyce is dilated at 3-4 cm already!! I still have no clue what that means - but it sounds like she's making progress.

June 17, 2009

12:30AM - Officially admitted to Good Samaritan. I've always wondered is Good Sam a Christian Hospital? Or are they publically declaring - "We are not Christians or Jews, we are Samaritans who don't follow your religion but we'll take care of you anyways!"

2:30AM - Our RN, Nurse #1, says we have about 3 hours of waiting until the next milestone. She pulls out my comfy bed (something short of a Futon) for me and wants us to get some rest.

2:35AM - I hear what I think are sirens - this is a hospital afterall. But the siren sound doesn't go away! Goodness - it's a woman screaming!! Her voice is coming through the air vents. There's a woman - giving birth without an epidural!! Her screams are loud, crisp and painful!! Every 2 minutes!! And they last a full minute!! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" We ask for ear plugs. It doesn't help. Why don't they sound proof these walls?!?!?!

3:00AM - Can't stand it anymore. I rather go home for a shower since Joyce isn't near ready yet and that lady isn't near done screaming.

5:30AM - Nurse #1 says Joyce is around 6-7cm. Joyce hasn't slept a wink in over 24 hours due to the contractions. She asks for some medication but those only numb her for an hour. I wonder if I can take some medication too so I can get some shut-eye. Doubt it.

7:00AM - Changing of the shifts - new nurse - Nurse #2 comes in. Changing nurses is like getting a new teacher when you're in elementary school. Going from one grade to another, you've spent all year with your favorite teacher! No other teacher in the world can be as great as your previous teacher. Only you find out that your previous teacher... really wasn't that great.

7:26AM - Joyce had enough. She needs some sleep and rest so the anesthesiologist comes into adminster the epidural. He looks eerily like my old lead back at work. Nah... couldn't be. Anyhoo, I seriously thought Joyce could've done this without an epidural. She's such a trooper!

7:53AM - Nurse #2 checking on Joyce again - dilated to 6+. I've once had my eyes dilated. Is this the same thing?

7:55AM - Water broke - finally. That's good - cuz we didn't want it to mess up our bed or inside our car.

8:15AM - Our OB Dr. Z stops by to say "Hi" on her way to work. How nice! Says we'll have this baby by lunchtime!!

8:30AM - I make a quick run to Starbucks and go home to send a prayer request email and get our phone chargers. If the baby's coming at noon, we better have our phones ready to text like mad!!

9:00AM - Come back to see Joyce sleeping. Phew... didn't miss any excitement. Always the fear of "going to do something" and missing the birth of your child. Not this time... not yet.

9:30AM - Selai Chan calls to wish us well.

11:30AM - I'm hungry. Run downstairs to the cafeteria and quickly decide to skip out to Carl's Jr. instead. Come back with a Wester Bacon Cheeseburger and Crisscut Fries. Didn't need to get a soda cuz Good Sam has a pantry full of goodies. (Yay Good Sam!)

12:30PM - Since this morning, Pitocin dosage went from 2 milliUnits / min to 5 to 7 to 9 to 8 to 7. We're trying to increase the frequency of the contractions. We've now hit the 36 hour mark. The contractions are too sporadic. When will this end?

12:45PM - Just got done reading the story from Geoff. Great short story about a father and his newborn daughter. I'm getting sleepy from waiting. Gonna take a 5 minute power nap.

1:10PM - Nurse #2 comes in and checks on Joyce again. She's at 9.5. In another half hour, we'll start pushing. WOW... this is really happening!

2:45PM - Officially started pushing. We didn't attend any of the Labor / Breathing Class so we get a 15 second crash course on how to do this. "Three quick breaths, deep inhale and PUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (count to 10), exhale, deep inhale, PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSH (count to 10), exhale, deep inhale, PUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSH (count to 10), exhale. Repeat."

3:00PM - Shift change again. Nurse #2 leaves and here comes Nurse #3. Too bad, cuz I really liked Nurse #2. And she wanted to see us through this delivery. (Still pushing, btw)

3:35PM - HOLY TOLEDO I see the top of head!! GEEZ!!!! Y'know... this isn't as bad as most people make it. I'm not going to faint! This is easy peesy - japanesey!

3:50PM - Nurse #3 says she's going to call Dr. Z. Huh?!? Does that mean.... we're almost there?????? I'm breaking out a huge sweat just coaching Joyce to breathe. Can't even imagine what she's going through.

4:05PM - Dr. Z finally shows up. Sure sign that this wasn't going to be a C-section finally secured itself. Dang...the doc is so calm and cool. Another day in the office for her. Life changing experience for us.

4:30PM - Dr. Z: "Okay, your husband's been a great coach so far. This time, I want you to listen to me. When I say push, you're going to push longer than before. We're going to get her out this time. " And with that... out came the rest of the head.... one more push and out came out the rest of the body. She's.... gray! And then within seconds, she turns pink! Looks just like me. It's amazing! Everything from here on out was a blur... thank goodness for cameras.

4:35PM - It's decided. "Rachel" Final Four Choices: Rachel, Victoria, Abigail, Kaitlyn. Yeah... "Rachel" it is.

6:00PM - Our first visitor, Rachel's 大伯父. Comes marching in with a pair of pink mylar balloons. How sweet. Would've preferred a box of 燒鴨飯 to be honest.

7:15PM - The Louie's show up with the traditional ginger fried rice. HA! Rachel's spiritual grandparents and spiritual uncle!!

8:15PM - Get transferred from Labor & Delivery to Mom & Children. Right before we take off, Rachel decides she's hungry and mom has to feed her while being wheeled off. Talk about timing.

9:15PM - Rachel gets her first bath / diaper change. WOW... what kind of poop is that?!? It's black and tar-like!! Sorta like what I make after a night out at a Giants game with hot dogs, beer and garlic fries. Hmmmm.....

10:05PM - Finally some rest on the same POS chair. All in a day's work. Now the fun really begins...

End of Running Diary

Where'd the day go?

Started at 10AM this morning listening to Rev. Poon's sermon on "Issue of Control" as part of the Re-Parenting series. Interruptions left and right and twelve hours later, I finally get to sit down to listen to the last part of one sermon. Where did the day go?

Mood: Dazed

Day / Night Confusion

Rachel has what some people call - Day / Night Confusion. She's very sleepy in the daytime but wide awake at night!! Which puts my life in a roller coaster.

So an interesting thought came up... if we were to fly back to Hong Kong tonight, will the jetlag automatically flip her Day / Night Confusion around??? Thought provoking indeed....

Mood: sleepy

Up at 3:45AM

Blogging at 3:45AM - something I haven't done since I was working on my Masters a few years ago. Feasting on some 糯米飯 that Selai Chan made for me. So wonderful...

Rachel hasn't been able to sleep between the hours of 1-4AM. Her nights and days are still backwards. Sigh...what to do? What to do?

Mood: Moody

Committing Adultery

The other day, I was doing some yard work and I removed my wedding ring. After about two hours of back spraining, allergy triggering, thorns bristling work, I quickly showered and headed out to dinner. During dinner, I realized I forgot to put my wedding ring back on. I felt naked. I felt incomplete. I felt like I was committing adultery. Felt like I was cheating on my wife - even though she was there with me. I felt... naughty.

Mood: removed

棧勞氣

多個月前, 見到小孩在公眾場所大抄大鬧, 對長者教訓的不理會, 或他們不得不快的小霸王, 小公主態度, 會令我十分討厭. 但最近, 討厭的對象由小孩轉移到家長身上. '寵壞', '冇家教', '慈母多敗兒' 或 '養不教，父之過' 的負面說話不其然地浮現出來. 相信每一對父母未正式做父母時都曾經有過同樣經歷. 但現實就是當他們為人父母, 從前的討厭, 批評, 指責都自然地拋諸腦後. 我又會點教女呢?

唉... 有人話: "生仔易, 養仔難. 養仔易, 教仔難." 難怪咁多人生左兩個就夠晒數.

心情: 勞氣

Wheeee! What a coincidence?!

Carly. Carly Carly Carly...
The famous name, for the famous person that headlined the entire Silicon Valley when she took over HP as CEO - and subsequently led to the layoffs of thousands and thousands of employees when she merged with Compaq. I thought she was gone, disappeared, history. But coincidentally, the same day she reappears in the newspaper for running for public office (US Senate vs. Barbara Boxer), we get news that our current program will be moved to the East Coast. I have less than a year to look for a new job, otherwise, need to consider transferring out East. And I thought my job was secured. What to do...what to do?

Mood: contemplative