"I don't deserve this..."

Listened to a '60 Minutes' podcast about potential retirees who lost their 401k this past year. Some of them are old... they're overqualified... they're underqualified... they don't have the quick skills that a young grad has... and they have nowhere to go.
"I don't deserve this."

Some 50 year old former manager is working at a Starbucks taking orders from a snot-nose 20 year old. That same 50 year old works a weekend job at a mortuary greeting mourners and family members.
"I don't deserve this."

The Sharks are eliminated from round 1 of the playoffs in Game 6. Game 6 being a cursed game for us Bay Area fans. All these years I've poured out my heart for my teams and what do I get back? Nothing.
"I don't deserve this."

I need to get out...but I can't. I too, have no where to go. I'm stuck.
"I don't deserve this."

Mood: depressed

It ain't well...with my soul...

It's a little embarrassing when my life is wrapped around professional teams that have no loyalty to me. They don't know my existence. I pour out my life and my heart for them and they can either pick it up and raise it to the highest honors or rip it out and slice and dice it for dinner. Yet I fall, no I succumb to this nonsense every year.

~sigh... stupid sharks. ~sigh... stupid giants hitting. ~sigh... stupid moped. ~sigh... ~sigh...

Mood: hot (due to the weather mostly)

No no no...say it ain't so!!!

Losing 5 in a row!!! Walking in the winning run!! Throw a friggin' strike for cryin' out loud!!!! UGH!!!!!! Why do they have to do this to me every year!!?!?!?

Why do the Giants suck so much?
Why can't the Giants hit in the clutch?
Ticket and beer prices are higher than ever,
Win a World Series, I say "NEVER!"
Glimmer of hope, glimmer of light
It's not what I see, not at all, not quite;
My blood pressure climbing ever so high,
What if they don't win before I die?

Mood: frustrated

Holy Week and Borsch

• The Youth are full of energy - too much energy, sometimes. Was I ever like that?
• Saw a man wearing a rabbit suit walk into a Blockbuster.
• I ain't the only one who watches Stephen Chow movies dubbed in Vietnamese on Youtube
• Some have a knack for altar calls - some don't. Not a competition, just an observation.
• Had a Passover meal with unleavened bread, bitter "herbs" and lamb. Don't think we're doing that again.
• A Chinese person ordered Sweet-N-Sour Pork at a chinese restaurant.
• Talking things out can be self-healing... should talk more often
• Love playing but not very good at matchmaking
• Finding a church is easy. Finding a church to stay is not.
• I made borsch and it was borschin' good!

Mood: giddy

Economic Downturn...

The downturn, though it's dwelling everywhere, finally hit home this past week. Two members of my team are being targetted for "reassignment." This really bothers me. In any team, I've always been the one to leave. The first time I had to personally kick someone off my team was when I laid off my gardener. All these times I was in the driver seat and running the show. I hate the feeling of helplessness when things are beyond my control. Hate it hate it hate it...

Mood: irritated

Giants - Opening Day

We won. 10-6.
Didn't make it out this year - shucks. =(

Mood: glad

Goodbye and Good luck...

Went to Dale's farewell lunch today.

Dale was my 2nd manager at LM. He rescued me out of AI&T into design. He took me under his wings and showed me the ropes. Under his guidance, I've grown to become a better engineer, a better teamplayer and most importantly a better person.

We didn't see eye to eye on everything. There were nights when I got home and dreaded having such a boss. I'm sure he had evenings where he could not fathom how disrespect I can get. But through all the differences and arguments, Dale did a spectacular job stretching and challenging me.

He was a great manager. He was a great mentor. He was a trustworthy friend and a brother in Christ. I've met his family and he was at my wedding. We can talk about all kinds of things and we'd share with each other our trials, tribulations and triumphs.

Dale always protected me from the wraths of upper management. But was never shy in showing accolades for how I performed. I wouldn't say that was a completely selfless act - if I shine, he shines.

I still remember the day I told him I was leaving. His words were, "You raise 'em, you teach 'em and they grow up and fly away." Indeed, he was also a fatherly figure to me.

I'm not amazingly sad that he's moving away as I was when G, M and A moved back to Hong Kong. But indeed, I got a bit choked up as I made my speech and praise. Good luck Dale. Congratulations and have fun shoveling snow.

Mood: nostalgic

NCAA Brackets - Part II of perhaps one more to come?

It's over. I've lost my office NCAA Brackets. UCLA was my downfall. Some guy who watches zero college hoops will probably run away with it. And it's all because he picked the top seeds - kinda like how Joyce won last year. Until next year...

Nonetheless, March Madness got a little wilder with the recent surge of Michigan State support from people who don't even know what sport they're supporting!! I haven't been able to promote Giants or Niners to any of these people. But they're hopping on the Spartan bandwagon (or chariot) faster than lobster tails disappear at a Chinese buffet. If the Giants/Niners can start winning, things will be different!!

Mood: Stuffed

Spring Break

A little envious of our students for having Spring Break. A week of nothing to do but relax. Some of them are taking road trips to LA or Vegas. Some of them are just hanging around. One even just wants to go to the library and read. Sounds so relaxing...

Mood: tired

NCAA Brackets - Part I of many to come...

Not doing so well in my office brackets... ugghhh.... Currently in last place and I picked UCLA to be in the Final Four. Oops!

Tried to start an office pool to build some team spirit - but none of the ladies joined. One of them specifically emailed me saying, "Just wondering, is there a ladies-friendly competition to enter?" So I replied back... "I'll start a pool on Joyce's due date." And she replied, "HAHAHAHA... that's more like it."

Such it is...

Dream God's dream...

Everything went full circle today...

In the morning during intercession, the flow went to Jesus calling everyone to follow him - both the righteous and the unrighteous, most notably Levi/Matthew. (We're all unrighteous - c'mon....)

During the CS Sermon, Elder KC reminded us we're all called to be priests and our daily lives are our altars.

In the evening, over dinner, a brother mentioned how he use to "Dream God's dream." And it was a motto for him and his buds many years ago. But sadly, that motto has fallen to the wayside and remains nothing but a fond memory.

Shampa Rice once said, "I cook, I clean, I cook, I clean... and when I'm doing the dishes, I'm dream dreams that God is putting in me."

How are you dreaming God's dream today?