The back wave of the Yangtze

With a blink of an eye, it's already been 5 years since I started BSF. When I started, my first impression was, "Geez... everyone here is either retired, have grandkids, or retired with grandkids." I was easily one of the youngest in the entire class. Five years later, all these young college kids are creeping up and I'm the old hogie.

Mood: seasoned

Stay Away!!

Never call me on a Monday morning after the Niners lose. I will bite your head off and spit out your skull to be used as a car ornament!

Well, you can call me... just don't tick me off. Just don't lie to me. Just don't blame your incompetence on "lapse in communication."

I apologized to the guy... but who will apoloize to me for the Niners going from 3-0 to 2-1?

Mood: unstable

That was never suppose to happen...

I feel exhausted, numb. I can't breathe. I'm weak in all my limbs. I can feel my heart slowing down and down and down. All of a sudden, my bones weigh heavier than I can bear. All of a sudden the world is a deep dark hole. No one deserves to feel this pain. No one. Man was not created to bear this burden.

That ball was never suppose to have left his hands.
That ball was never supposed to have been caught.
That toe was never suppose to have touched the ground.
That victory was never suppose to go to them.
That 40 year old man was never suppose to do it to us...again and again and again.

Mood: despair

"I thirst"

"I thirst." Famous words whispered as my Savior was about to breathe his last on the cross. Just a couple of years ago... my Savior also said to a Samaritan woman, "whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again."

Jesus bore our sins, the world's sins, past, present and future. To a point where He was separated and forsaken by God the Father. "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" To a point where even his own living water has run dry. That's how far He went to save us.

Salvation is free - but not cheap. How much more do you love Jesus for what He's done for you? Have you accepted Jesus as your Savior yet? If not - then let this be the day...

Mood: blessed

First drops of rain...

Summer is officially gone and the sky is mourning by shedding teardrops of rain. There's nothing sweeter than the scent of the first rain of the fall. I love God's creation. I really do.

Mood: in love

The streak is over

After more than 8 years of avoiding the COPS, I finally got pulled over yesterday. Not for speeding, not for running a red, not for rolling past a stop-sign, not for changing lanes without signaling. All those things I may (or may not) have committed in my brief history on the road could not taint my record. I was pulled over for not having a front license plate. Luckily, it's an INFRACTION and not a MISDEMEANOR. The difference? Other than the latter being impossible to spell, is about $50-100. Just needa get this fixed, have some law enforcer sign a form and send it into the courthouse.

After yesterday morning's fateful encounter, I can't help by want to take pictures of all the cars that pass by without a front license plate, the sleek 330, the powerful Vettes, the agile S2000, and send all those pics to that same officer. Making him hand out tickets to everyone.

Hey man... when I go down, I'm taking someone with me. How righteous is that?

Mood: vengeful

The corner grocery store

Moving into suburbia, you lose the perk of having a local grocer in exchange for supermarket chains that require at least 5 minutes of driving. Luckily, I still have one of those mom-n-pop stores around the corner. It's a Persian grocery store so imagine an "Anglo", if you may, walking into Ranch 99. They're initally overwhelmed by all the foreign brands and the aquarium at the back. But after some exploration, the "Anglo" discovers all these treasures. Similarly, I'm finding out all these different types of food, beverages and spices that are sooooooooo exotic, I don't even dare to try them.

Nonetheless, anytime I've needed some ginger for my fish, or had a sudden craving for some white fuzzy peach I can always walk down my street and find that treasure lying at the end of the rainbow; my little corner grocery store.

Mood: blessed

"It's only a dollar..."

So there's a local sandwich place (which shall remain unnamed). I enjoy going here because they seem to be clean, they make semi-good wiches and it's relatively cheap when I go with my wife. We share a large sandwich with chips and a drink for under $10.

Thie other day I go by myself and order a regular. And for some reason, they charge me the price of a large. I didn't realize this until after I got back to the office. So afterwork, I went to get my dollar back. When I was pleading my case, one of the dudes whispered loud enough for me to hear, "It's only a dollar..."

I soooooooo wanted to scream at him, "YOU WANNA PAY THAT DOLLAR FOR ME?!?!"

I mean... c'mon!! If you guys are scamming people, a dollar here and a dollar there, the pot starts adding up! And it's not a matter of money - it's a matter of principles.

Mood: miffed

1 in 20

Two weeks ago, I woke up with a sharp pain on my left wrist. On the infamous hospital pain scale of 1 to 10, it's a good 7. But only when I make a fist and rotate it towards the pinky side of my fist. My first thought - carpel tunnel. Years of typing didn't do anything - but recently, I've been working some crazy hours on a laptop. Second thought - it could be the Bowflex. I may have used it wrong and hurt myself while working out.

Two weeks and the pain didn't go down. So I went to see the doctor today and he says I have tendonitis. A little of it is work related. But the culprit.....? Lifting my daughter wrong!!! GEEEEZ!!!

I go get fitted for a splint. The Sports Medicine guy says 19 out of 20 are women come in for the same reason. Only 1 in 20 will men come in for this reason. Once again, I'm in the minority.

Mood: painful

The Year that Never Happened

2002 was one of the worst years of my life. Joyce graduated and struggled hard to get a job. Then when she finally found a job, I got my pink slip. Shortly after I started my new job after 6 months of unemployment, she gets laid off. Those memories are remedied by the fact we're both employed. God was providing.

But there was one event, one wound, one nightmare that has not even begun to heal. I've pushed that memory aside to the point where I claim 2002 never happened. No matter how hard I try, no matter how deep I go into denial, no matter how far I've repressed it... the events still lurch in the shadows.

This weekend, the events were particularly resurrected with the enshrinement of Jeff Kent to the Giants Wall of Fame. All the journalists haaaaaaaad to make Kent recount the events in 2002 cuz they know he'll talk. And they know it'll generate an audience and ratings. And of course, there are guys like me who are masochistic enuf to suck it in no matter how hard we try to turn away.

I so depressed... to a point where my eyes are literally tearing up as I recount the events of that fateful October night. When will the wounds mend? God...will you provide?

Mood: depressed

The Book of Job

The Book of Job is one of my favorite and also one of my least favorite. It's my favorite because that was one of the memorable stories from Sunday School (taught my Mrs. Lau). It has a simple beginning and a simple ending.

But it's one of my least favorite cuz chapters 3-41 has my head spinning. All three friends sound correct. The little boy sounds correct. Job sounds correct. Yet - they're all wrong!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's that time of the year again...

Mood: confizzled