"Ask any parent: One of the worst feelings as a mother/father is seeing your child unhappy. Their lack of joy may be due to different causes, but next to that feeling of seeing an unhappy child is the feeling of helplessness." Not today.
After a 17 hour day... I come home to tuck the kids in and they were sound asleep. Joyce whispers to me... that NN got kicked, not once by twice, by a 2nd grader today. NN told the teacher and that was that. Until this morning... NN told me again what happened. The obvious question is... "Did you tell a teacher?" And the obvious answer is, "Yes."
Apparently... this kid was unhappy with the way they were playing 4 Square. Typical playground argument... I guess. What's not typical.... physical harm. Never. Ever. Do you lay your hands on anyone else. That's almost intolerable in 99.99% of the cases.
NN said she quickly got into her defense pose. Silly girl... she's been to one krav maga class... and at home, I've shown a move or two in basic self-defense. She goes on about being able to catch the kids leg and flipping him over her head. But what got to me was, NN said she was really mad. I told them I will speak to the teacher about it... and if they won't do anything about it... I will.
Well... as chance would have it... as I pulled up to camp, NN and SW said, "That's the kid." Perfect... their parent was dropping off the kid. I got into the lobby... verified, "Is this him?" Both NN and SW nodded. I asked, "Are you so-and-so's father? My daughter tells me your son kicked her twice yesterday." I didn't even get to launch into anything and the father gets defensive right away, "I don't like your attitude right now." I quickly apologize... and asked him to go verify the facts.
A teacher sees this brewing altercation and steps in. Supposedly the other parent and I were to go into her office... but that father pulls his son outside to have a talk. I go into the office with NN... and the teacher does her best job of cleansing herself from all responsibility.
"I didn't know about it."
"I only heard about it."
"We were going to discuss it with the parent this morning."
"We told them to stop."
"Like any other first day... it's chaotic. By the third day... they're best friends."
All effin' bullsh*t. She was lying. I could've called her out on her lies. She didn't have any of this undercontrol. Had I shown up 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later and missed the other parent, she would NEVER have done anything.
Later that day... I question myself. Did I approach this wrong? Should I have gone to the administration first, because they, afterall, have the authority in this location. Should I have been more polite to the parent? Should I have let playground rules settle all differences?? I played out about a dozen of these scenarios... and though I do feel a little remorse... I don't think I regret doing what I did. The remorse, more than anything, is due to how {someone} reacted to my handling of this case; not so much the case itself.
I hate bullies. Hate them. Hated being bullied. Hate reading about bullying. Hate reading bullying tweets. Most of all... I hate myself for being that very bully.
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