Shaws-HANK 2022 - Day 2

“These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.”

Day 2 of quarantining. When you're held in a confide space against your will... every time you look up, the walls seem to inch closer and move in tighter.  I'm "locked" in a master bedroom suite in the Silicon Valley... I'm going stir-crazy.  It's indescribable how much hope and excitement I felt when I rolled up my blinds and opened the window for some fresh air.  No, I wasn't outside, but outside came within. 

My body continued to struggle... like Jordan in the 1998 Flu Game. Calling into all these meetings.. no one will know how I'm physically struggling.  But after every call ended... my body collapsed.  

My meals were delivered to me like a prisoner.  Joyce would open the door... leave a dish by the dresser... take the used plates and walk out.  I will happily go grab the dish.  But those 4-5 steps from picking up the plate to sitting down at my desk... is the loneliest walk known to man.  Yes, it's a warm meal... but it might as well be Lean Cuisine without being nuked... if I'm to eat another meal by myself.  That feeling of loneliness... of isolation... is more suffocating than COVID itself. 

Then here I am... complaining some more.  When almost all the people I know who are COVID stricken lose their sense of taste/smell... I can still enjoy my cup of brown water in the morning.  But last night's lasagna was so salty... it was downright bitter.  I wanted to hurl.  Hyper-sensitive tastebuds? Ultra-sensitive stomach? Or I'm just physically trying to revolt and rebel against this situation???  

The night ended someone more pleasant... as the sun started setting and the cool eastern winds chilled the air... I was able to listen (not watch, mind you) the Warriors close out the WCF.  And then... at 9PM PDT sharp... I was able to stream Parts I and II of Obi-Wan Kenobi on Disney+.  After that... popped a couple of Nyquils... and Zzzzzz I went.  

It’s a matter of when…

Past two days... been feeling icky.  I attributed it to high pollen.  And yet... as I was driving to work this morning, it took every fiber of my being to not hurl in the car.  Something was not right.  But I just tested negative last night.  

Instead of heading to work... I veered a right and came home for a quick 15 minute test.  

1 minute. 

2 minute. 

I kept staring at the white window of hope.  The "Control" line was dark and steady.  Then... I swear, my eyes are playing tricks on me.  That's not a line. No way!! I tested negative yesterday.  This is food poisoning!!  That line is the standard groove that's there... you'll see it under special lighting.  3 minutes.  3.5 minutes.... it was like the morning sky revealing itself from behind the some cotton tail clouds. 

Disbelief.  This happens to other people.  The careless. The anti-maskers. Not me! 

My moments of denial were strengthened by the whims of a false negative. So I grabbed another rapid-test.  And this time... the dual lines of death revealed themselves quicker than I can say, "KELLY CLARKSON!!" 

This is it... I got it.  Won the lotto.  Now I get to quarantine and plan for my cruise with all the other super-humans.

"Shhh!"

Yesterday... at SW's belated birthday hangout... we watched Dr. Strange 2.  And in the midst of the movie... there were a few noteworthy parts that required... shall we say... OVERREACTING!!!! I was the only one in the theater to audibly react.... and when I did... NN "Shhhh'ed" me!  

After the movie... she continued to chastise me for publicly reacting.  What say you??? If you saw, what I saw, in the movie... isn't that part of the movie going experience?!???! 

Eat Dead Cat

For the X times in a month... I've been on the losing end of eating a dead cat... which translates to... taking the fall or scapegoat.

It's not my fault.  Other people are delaying me. Other people don't include me.  Other people make decisions and execute without me knowing.  Yet... I'm the one held responsible.

It's easy to say that you're the hero and you'll take the fall, cuz it makes for a good story.  But in the heat of it... it sucks to be the fall guy... again.. I'm taking the blame for someone else's mistakes.  This gets old. Fast. 

Inflation

Was so hangry… I pulled into a gas station for a Snickers and when the cashier rang me up... $2.49!!!

WHAT?!?!  I turned it down... and walked out. Geeeeeez

Beautifully and Professionally done

Received an email from Symantec today that I just renewed anti-virus software for another 4 years and I was being charged $350.  My first thought... what did mom click on?? Or what did I subscribe 4 years ago... that led to this automatic subscription?

The email invoice was soooo professionally done.  The return email was a Symantec email. 

I started emailing and calling the number on the invoice to ask for a refund.  But the email bounced back... so I started calling.  But it was a "408" number and not a "877" or "800" number.  Hmm... Symantec is based in the South Bay.

So I called two times and it was "All circuits are busy now." I didn't think much of it.  But then... I called a third time and someone picked up!!  I was so surprised... I asked "Is this Symantec." The voice on the other end said "yes." I immediately went to put on my airpods... which I thought hung up the call.  

For the next two hours... I kept redialing that number to no avail.  I was under the impression that it was a real number... thinking that persistence will pay off.  After about 50 times of re-dialing... I started looking online for a customer service number.  Maybe I can get a hold of someone through the mainline and eventually get to Billing.

The website wasn't helpful.  I kept being led down dirt roads and chat bots.  Impossible to find help... get a hold of someone.  I finally found a chat window for Norton (not Symantec), that led to a 877 number.  I finally get connected, and in my conversation with the agent... he asked several questions that were so obvious that the email invoice was a Spam and Scam.  And I fell for it.

So sorry for the 408 number that I kept calling.  I'm hoping that person blocked me and wasn't getting 50 calls this afternoon. 

Socks

In a cultural, professional forum... a Senior VP from a Fortune 500 company commented on how he was once mentored to stop wearing white socks as all engineers do.  Dabble in designer socks or colored socks or off the cuff (hem?) socks.  Be different.  Break away from the norm.  That was a great awakening moment.

Prior to that..  I've always been an advocate of the wearing the same gold toe black socks from Costco.  If one has a hole in it... you put widowed sock in the sock drawer, cuz eventually, there will be another widower and you can marry the two together.  I've also blogged here and here on the woes of folding laundry.  If you have the same socks... you can mix.. but it'll always be a match!!

Fast forward to 2022.... we did two full loads of laundry... and as I'm folding the piles and piles of uncoordinated, systemically broken clothes... I end up with a mountain of socks.  Not just any mountain... but virtually every sock is different, where you're fishing and matching.  To a point where I was sweating and breathing heavily when I got done.  

Why make life so complicated??  Why can't it just simple, humdrum, Costco Gold-toed??? Why???

SURPRISE!!!

Got the most exciting and most scary of news today from a dear, DEAR, sister... that they are now expecting a third child. Their oldest will now be 9 years older than the coming child.  

Both of them are going to be 40+.... they must've given away all their baby things... and to have to start over.  What are they thinking?? What is going through their minds??  The sleepless nights... the crying... the diapers... the diaper training... the nursing... the EVERYTHING.  And by EVERYTHING... every single chance to correct the mistakes from the previous offsprings.

How I feel for them... how I'm jealous of them... What I wouldn't give to relive those years. 

May God bless you in every [waking] moment of the coming days. 

Wordle 319

 Wordle 319 1/6*

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eSports

Someone from TKA got a college scholarship for eSports.  That's right... playing video games.  SW is so jazzed now. 

Mid-Life Crisis-ing

The past few weeks have been rough... emotional and spiritual challenges.  The past few days... I realize that it's full blown mid-life crisis. 

Several things have recently occurred... 

First and foremost... my dear Sweet 小華 turned 11.  He's well past the halfway point of flying the nest.  NN is one year away from high school.  It's all happening too fast. 

Had a Zoom mentoring session with a SJSU freshman.  When I blatantly and honestly described my typical day... my answer was, "5 hours of recurring/standing meetings... 2-3 hours of emergency meetings... 2-3 hours of working." His response was... and I summarize... "Man... that's such a boring job!" 

More promotions. More job changes. More of my former peers excelling. More of my former direct reports being my equals.  What am I doing with my professional career??

I'm so behind the times.  There's so many things happening at work.. so many new technologies... so many new applications that are sunrising and sunsetting... and I'm completely oblivious to them.  I use to be that guy that was on top of all these fads.  Now... I try to hire ppl who can advise me on these fads. 

Then there's the lethargy and inertia.  I use to have so much energy... I can't sit still.  I'm always doing something.  Learning something. I can be using my "downtime" to work on ministry... or investing... or starting a second career.  But instead... I find myself watching Youtube videos.

Lastly... I'm doing an inventory check and trying to picture what the next 20 years will be like.  That... more than anything... is the sole reason for mid-life crisis-ing (MLC-ing).