沒料到我所失的 竟已是我的所有

As I was packing up my stuff... readying to move to a new position in a different building.. I started to feel this rush of sadness. 6 years, I gave my blood and sweat for this program. And now... all I had was 8 empty boxes and an office full of memories.  No fanfare. No goodbye party.  No frame or shadowbox. 

I actually declined several attempts to throw me a party.  I'm not that type.  But to think... two of my previous peers not only had a party... they had the VP show up... they got a nice shadow box.  Did I really wear away my welcome that much where I didn't even deserve a handshake from the VP?

After packing up the last box... and only having one person stop by, look at me me, shake his head (it was his way of saying "Good luck!")... I closed the door to my office with my Giants umbrella, and left the office I called home for the past 6 years.

Suddenly had this huge empathetic moment of where 關羽 was exiled from 曹操's camp... after all the battles and wars he won.  The only thing he had while riding his 赤兔馬 and gripping his 青龍偃月刀 was his honor.  He still held his head high.

And with that... I hold my head high as I start a new chapter in my career as a Senior Manager.  Never thought I'd climb this far up in a big company like mine.  But as he continues to lead... I will continue to follow.  

It's still nice to hear....

I'm not big on compliments.  More often than not... when people say nice things about me, I think it's out of courtesy.  Or I feel that it's part of my duty to act a certain way. 


This weekend... my MIL sent me a text after the Mother's Day dinner that made me puff up my chest just a little bit.  "Thanks for holding the mother's day party.  I'm so happy and impressed that you are a great father and husband.  Thanks for everything." 


I really could care less about what they think of how I treat their daughter or their grandkids... cuz again, I stand on solid ground on who I am.  But still... it's still nice to hear.


However... despite what MIL said, it simply doesn't rank up there with what my FIL said to me the day I asked him for his blessing before proposing to Joyce.  "我都好放心將曉瑜交比你."
So simple... so direct... yet so authoritative.   

塞翁失馬焉知非福

After a phone screen... after 3 on-sites.... I finally got this email today:

Hi Henry,

Thanks so much for your interest in XXXXXX and this position alike. I did receive feedback from the team. Overall, the team is looking for additional relevancy for this specific role. 

I will continue to keep you in mind for future roles as well. Thanks again for your interest in XXXXXX and this role alike.

I was so bummed when I got the email.  I had such high hopes.  Not that I was going to take the job, necessarily.  But after going through so many rounds, and feeling like I killed it every round, this came as a shocker.  It's humbling... it's shell-shocking... it's a reality check.

Makes me think... if I can't even get this opportunity, when will there be a better opportunity?? Do I believe in His providence???  Or does He really want me to stay put at where I am?? 

Something smells funny...

Rarely do we use the oven, but when we decided to turn it on last night, we smelled something funny.  So stupidly... I stick my nose up by the oven door and open it up to take a closer look.  Praise God for His protection.  Within 2 seconds of opening the door, I see a fireball puff out from the oven.  I quickly close my eyes and snap back!! 

But I can feel my hair on fire.  And my eye lashes are cinched. 

Had it been 1 second.  Or had it been a bigger fire-puff.... I'd be in the hospital with 2nd degree burns! 

WTH.... this is a newly remodeled home!! ARGH!!!! 

I will not compromise... except when....

Here I am... the parochial choir boy that says I won't ever compromise and will choose Jesus every day. 

The other day at Legoland... SW wanted to go on this ride.  But the minimum requirement is he has to be 6 years old.  Well... he's about 2 weeks away from being 6.  And as we were in line... the worker actually asked each of the kids how old they were.  Seeing how they were doing that... I told SW to say, "i'm 6."  Even though he's officially still 5 years old.

I taught my son to lie.  Wow....

Yup... we're THAT family...

Ever go through life and encounter that one special family? The one that's just different? Special? Weird??  Well... we're THAT family.

This past week... SW's Kindergarten class said they wanted to have an Easter Egg Hunt.  After a couple days of debating... Joyce and I decided to excuse SW from that activity.  We emailed his teacher.  And we sat down with SW to have "the talk" with him.  His face... was priceless.  He wasn't one to hide his feelings - he was obviously upset and disappointed.  But in the end... he picked Jesus.  (AMEN!!)

His teacher pulled us aside to have talks with us... and it's absolutely NOTHING against her.  We love her.  Adore her.  But there are things we just shouldn't make compromise against.  I even asked her, "Do you know the actual history behind Easter celebration?" She said the right thing... that a lot of modern day Easter originates from paganism.  I hope she does her own research and make her own decision.

The other day.... Joyce was staying after school to let the kids play.  One of the parent came over and said, "Oh...we don't do Easter Bunny.  It's just egg hunting for fun."  The conversation didn't last very long.

On the day of the Easter Egg Hunt at school... I was concerned that SW will be very sad.  Turns out... that he was asked to go to the school admin's office.  And it turns out... NN's teacher heard about it and sent her to the office to be with SW.  The 2nd graders were going to hide the eggs for the kindergarteners to go find.

During these times... I think about Halloween.  I think about Chinese New Year.  I think about visiting the gravesite of our ancestors.  And as much as I struggle... I think of Sandy's testimony and the prayer she taught her daughters.

"I will not compromise.  I will stand in the gap.  And I will choose Jesus, every day of my life."

So powerful.... yet so hard to do.

Lost in New York

Monday afternoon.... I get a call from Mom.  She says she's lost in New York. 

For whatever reason... she was riding a train and got kicked off cuz she didn't have enough fair.  And in the worst case scenario, she only had 10% of battery life left on her phone.  There's no Wi-Fi.  She's waited at that train station for 2 hours without any cars stopping.  And she barely speaks English!! 

In all honesty... she's a grown woman, who's lived in the US for 30+ years.  She'll figure something out.  So I wasn't entirely worried... .but I was still worried.

Finally got a hold of big bro... and told him the situation.  His first reaction was...tell mom to stay put.  He'll go look for her.  Of course... mom did not stay put.  Of course... her phone died and I couldn't reach her.  And of course.... big bro ended up driving aimlessly for hours looking for a short, Asian lady in the state of New York. 

What do you do? Call the police? Panic? Pray?


The kicker here is... once she got to Flushing... she tried calling from a pay phone to let us know the latest status.  Some kind stranger saw her... and wanted to lend her their phone.  But mom was too paranoid and didn't want to give out my phone number, so she ended up not calling me or big bro.  Which left us in the dark for another hour or two. 

Ultimately... she made it back home.  Turns out she boarded a train that went the opposite direction of the ticket she bought.  Turns out she was walking distance to the subway which could've ultimately led her home.  Turns out she walked over an hour (mom pace) to get to Flushing Chinatown to find her way home.

But man...if someone is lost in New York.  How do you go about locating that person??? 

Who's Your Daddy?!?

Tonight's Prayer Meeting was simple... "Lord, teach me how to pray."  No agenda.  No prayer points.  Simply enjoy the presence of our Abba Father.

We started with the Lord's Prayer... "我 們 在 天 上 的 父."  And while meditating, I saw an image of myself playing.  And my dad sitting on the couch behind me, reading his newspaper.  God is revealing to me that He is always there.... He could be doing other things, cuz He's a busy person. But while I'm doing my own thing and He's doing his... He's still watching over me.

We then spent almost an hour worshiping Him... interceding for one another... and towards the end... we asked for the Holy Spirit. 

We read, " 你 們 雖 然 不 好 ， 尚 且 知 道 拿 好 東 西 給 兒 女 ， 何 況 你 們 在 天 上 的 父 ， 豈 不 更 把 好 東 西 給 求 他 的 人 麼 ？" 
The same image popped in my head.  Only this time... my dad asked me to sit on his lap.  So I put down my toys, sat on his lap while he's reading the newspaper.  And then I asked my dad for the favorite part of the newspaper..... the Sports Section.  And my dad gave it to me, knowing that I was going to ask for it.   

Went into Prayer Meeting tonight full of angst and stress.  Walked out of Prayer Meeting filled with peace and joy. 

Perfectly good jeans... or not

Today... Joyce told me to get rid of my jeans.  She's had it.  She can't stand it anymore.

I've had these jeans for years... it's hard to find a pair of jeans that fit you, that don't shrink or get loose wash after wash... and is decent enough for work, church or casual wear.  Well... it turns out.... the jeans in general are in good condition, but the zipper is causing me problems. 

Apparently, the past few months, the zipper has gotten to a point where it creases together and creates a bump -- making it look like... uhm.... I'm having a normal, male physiological reaction.  Hmm....  not to say it hasn't happened in a public place for whatever reason... but according to Joyce... it's happening too often, to a point where someone (don't know who's even looking) will misunderstand the situation. 

Perfectly good jeans... now I have to donate them cuz it creates a bump where it shouldn't.  Great.... now I have to go shopping.  Ugh....

The Secret Garden

When I was in fifth grade.. my teacher Sr. Celine made us buy and read a lot of books.  I hated reading. Just didn't have the attention span or discipline to sit and read.  One of my least favorite... or most hated books... The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.  300+ pages of boredom.  When it come time to write a book report... I read my friends' book reports and used that to write my own.  

Flash forward 20+ years... Nn is in 2nd grade and she plows through that book.  She makes me sit down and read her the final two chapters so we can "enjoy" the book together.  As a full grown adult with a college degree.... I still find the book hard to read.  The diction extremely advanced.  And the story is stronger than Nyquil.  

How is Nn doing this at such a young age?!?

We're the minority - Part 2

OMG.... volunteered at SW's class today.

Was teaching the boys some new terms like "trustworthy" and "thrifty" and "loyal."  When I got to the word "brave", I asked them "Who is brave?!?"

"Donald Trump!?!"  (WTH!?!)

"How's he brave?" I asked.

"If there's a war, he will lead our country!"  (#smh... that's what are kids are growing up learning?!?)

I sooooo wanted to set them straight.  But alas... it wasn't my classroom.  And in reality, another parent was there.  I didn't want him to tattle on me. =)