Surreal

 I went into work today and went to take a piss... and found another man doing his business 2 urinals away.  Wow... 16 months later... I'm sharing a bathroom again.  Surreal. 

What's most important to you

 For her Bday... we bought NN a mini-printer the size of an iphone that prints photos.  It's kinda sorta like an inkjet crossed with a polaroid camera.  Today... I sat on her table and found these 4 pics.

1. a family pic of going rafting
2. a picture of her and SW posing
3. a picture of her and the cousins catching a fish
4. a group photo of her 5th grade friends

A lot can be said of what these photos meant to my NN

我嫁得好

 The other day... I was paid the ultimate compliment.  Not to me directly... but Joyce actually said to Dad, "我嫁得好." To which dad couldn't contain himself... and immediately turned to be to echo the sentiments.  He spilled some truths... he said, "It's very visible to see who does what."  But for dad to hear Joyce say that... I think he was the one that was extremely 安慰.  For me.... I get to wake up and stare at the love of my life. And to hear that person call me, "老公", that is my ultimate compliment. 

我今日…

 …好開心.

父親節快樂

 An unforgettable Father's Day weekend.  Hanging out with dad and PAL, C-mo, and Yammie.  Hanging out with 契媽, 契爺.  Spending an entire day together (ironic how that is special).  And to top it off... able to go worship with dad.  Never in my dreams... but dreams do come true.  My ultimate Father's Day gift. 

As the pandemic subsides...and life returns back to normal.. who knows where life will lead.  But by God's grace... may all our lives change for the better... for good. 

佩碧姨

There are certain people in our lives that are so intertwined with your family tree... that it's impossible to untie this Gordian Knot or 情義結.  

A month ago... mom found a way to meet up with 佩碧姨 and 德霖叔.  Dad got jealous so we had another rendezvous with them. The stories were fascinating. How they escaped from China as political refugees. How they struggled in HK... became friends from simply eating dinner together a few times.  How 德霖叔 was so poor... they didn't have any money to attend Big Bro's 滿月酒.  

Then when we arrived in San Francisco... how mom singlehandedly rescued their child from systemic child abuse.  How they bought us our first Christmas presents... drove us everywhere on weekends... bought us Castle Grayskull from Toys R Us.  There is no one in this world we or they...are more indebted to.  At my college graduation... I didn't invite any one, except for 佩碧姨.  When Alfred got married... we sat in the head family's 2nd table.  When 佩碧姨's friend wanted to visit Cal Poly... I dropped EVERYTHING to give them a self-guided tour of campus.  When dad was going through financial hardships... they didn't even ask and came out with an envelope of cash. 

In this day and age... when hardships are no more than "stress at work" or "traffic was horrible. Friendships like this don't happen anymore.  The ties with this family is intricate... extravagant... and legendary.  

Turned out to be a trip for me

Between Grace's graduation... NN's bday... Father's day... end of COVID lockdown... we had a number of reasons to celebrate.... and we did so with a Tahoe Trip.  Last time I was at Tahoe was in July of 2004 - when I had my first encounter with the Holy Spirit at Zephyr's point. 16 years later... we were but 10 miles from that sacred camp ground at South Tahoe.

It didn't start out well though.  During the drive up.. .I specifically mapped "Avoid Tolls" on Google Maps, but somehow, it brought me to the Vallejo bridge which costed me $6!  Grrrrr.... I hope they don't send me an invoice that's $25 + $6.  Where if I sign up for Fast Track, they'll waive the $25.  Then when we got to Sac... nobody wanted Dim Sum.  And we walked aimlessly around for 10 minutes.... only to end up getting Dim Sum.  You just watch... 4 days of no Chinese food and you'll be thanking me.  Then when we got up to Tahoe... it was in the upper 80's.... and the AirBnb doesn't have A/C..... ughh..... which resulted in a lot of sleepless nights... resulting in cranky days.  Aside from that...everything else was simply perfect.

We got to do ziplining. We got to do river rafting (albeit a Class 1).  SW and Joyce both fell off the raft and I dove in the river for the heckuvit.  We went to the beach and rented a kayak...because SW wanted one, not me.  And then one by one... all the kids taxi'ed on.  We ended up going to the Trout farm and all the kids caught their first fish!!!  They market it as a sure thing... but it's anything plus.  I was so worried we'll be there for hours...or worse... NN and SW will go away disappointed again.  

Food was gastronomical.  We brought up hot pot the first night and the leftovers lasted us the next few meals.  Grace was shrewd enough to plan a 2 hour "getaway time" for the three of us and we ended up at a German Pub - amazing beer.  We had more than enough junk food to go around but we ate healthy.  The one thing we didn't do was hike the beautiful nature of Tahoe...which was fine.  With the heat... and with elderly and young... the hike would've been a bunch of complaining anyways. 

I spent a lot of time planning this so the kids can get an experience of a lifetime. What started as a trip for the kids and family... actually turned out to be a trip for me.

California Reopens

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After 157 + 274 = 431 days.... California officially reopens. 

Is the pandemic over? No.  Not in my books.  Just look around the other parts of the world.  Who knows where we'll be come flu season. 

Is life back to normal? Whatever normal means this very moment. 

But what this does mean is... after 431 days of using the label "CV19" and starting my blog entries with "COVID19 - School Closure...", it now officially comes to an end.  

Another chapter must begin.... 

Just move it, already!!

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Pet Peeve #97 - if something is in your way... move it OUT OF YOUR WAY.  It'll serve you better.  And serve you well.

Case in point... a chair is jutted out in the dining room.  You walk by twice... but have to dance around it.  Why don't you just scoot the chair back in?  

Case in point... you're doing dim sum on a lazy susan. For some weird reason... the dim sum lady puts in out of reach of anyone.  You see that anyone who wants that dim sum have to stand up and reach for it... why not just scoot the bamboo basket closer for yourself and anyone else to follow??

Case in point... same lazy susan... the soy sauce/chili sauce/salt and pepper rack is block people from snatching their aforementioned dim sum.  Why can't you just push it closer to the center, out of everyone's way??

Why can't people simply be more considerate??  Make life easier for yourself...and each other. 

被關心

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At 9:30PM...got a call from PAL and C-mo. They wanted to talk.

I guess they sensed something was wrong... and I would give them a gold-star... if anything... for trying.  No... I'm not holding a grudge or hiding any ill-wills against anyone.  Credit them for noticing and taking immediate action.  It truly is a blessing that someone would notice and reach out right away.  This is beyond any leadership course on Empathy or Emotional Intelligence.  But it's just a matter of caring... and I can say... I sit on a different tier and class than most other people.  

It turned out to be a venting session for all parties... but in the end.. I have to recognize and acknowledge that my pastor... the ones who are charged with caring for their sheep... reached out to care for me.  I will not take that for granted...and I know that this isn't something that everyone else gets.  To be open... to be "naked" enough to have a dialogue about things... that's what true leadership is.  

I can only imagine how many private conversations Jesus had with his 12.  I have zero hesitation that God put me in this church-family to bless me and show me what a community ought to be.  And if I need to take this type of caring to my next destination than that will easily be my next step. 

#SMH

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I knew it was gonna happen... 2 hours set aside on a Saturday... and it ended up being something that could've been accomplished over email. Why did PAL have to call a meeting? I'm still wondering. As expected... he spent half the time having everyone do a bit of sharing. Which is fine... but 50% of the meeting time was already gone. Artificial relationship building is exactly what that is... artificial. Can't fault the guy for trying... but as I forewarned him... with a full agenda... you won't have time to discuss anything. And as it turned out... it ended up being him statusing us on the latest, rather than planning, strategizing and preparing for the next phase. So inefficient.... so wasted. If this was work... I would pull him aside and give him a good talking-to.... this isn't how you run a team.

But... what can I do.. but shake my head... and move on. Ah yes... the art of moving on. Sounds familiar.

The Art of... Moving On

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On the night my beautiful and wonderful sister-(in-law) graduated with her MBA... we find out that her ex is now engaged. "I'm happy for him, really."  And in a way... I find that to be the truth.  It's time to move on and not dwell in the past.  The past got us here... it has every meaning and every fold of memories.  But let the past be the past... and let's focus on now... and look towards the future.

I couldn't help but ask... "Did you measure yourself up to her?"  cuz I truly think the world of my sister-(in-law). Her response was classic.... "No, cuz I don't really care."  Then her next response just anted up on her priceless answer.  "I did say... 'I'm their mom. No one else.' "  

So maybe... it's just time to move on. 

The Art of Not Caring

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I ask myself... why am I so high-strung? demanding? strict? Why do I care??

I see some of my friends... I see Grace... their kids are.... wild. And they don't say anything. They let kids be kids. Everyone is happy. Then there's me. There's SW... who once again.. violated the sacred sanctity of the dinner table. He was in the middle of a battle on his Switch so he brought it to the dinner table. It was one more match... can't I just let the guy finish his game? Have his fun? I tried to keep it in... and for the most part... I succeeded. But I didn't... I got pissed anyways.. but I didn't yell at him. I simply clammed up and shut up due to the pent up anger. C'mon dude!!! Pause the game for just 15 minutes. Can you do just that?? Play after dinner. Why do I do this to myself?? Why do I even care??

Why?

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Why?! Why do bad things happen to good people?? As I type... Tears are streaming down my cheek. It’s not fair!! Of all people... 

To imagine how the conversation with the parents will be like. To imagine... how the conversation with the kids will be like.

And oddly... I immediately think of Job. And that God allows this to happen... to the strongest, most outstanding of his children. 

I stand with you, sis. We will get thru this. We will.

點解

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點解、今日TWA、最後生係我？！

For the sake of change...

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Back in the late 90s... when Tiger roared to a Masters win by 12 strokes, he shocked the golf world by changing his swing.  Then after a year of suffering... he went on a tear again... including the Tiger Slam - 4 majors in a calendar year (not a PGA season).  Right after that... he changed his swing again.  Many attribute that two years stint as wrecking his chance of Nicklaus' 18 or Snead's 82.  But regardless... his dominance can only be mirrored by the likes of Ali in the 60's... Russell in the 70's... Hogan in the 80's and Jordan in the 90's.  

Many years ago... I too made a change when I switched to using the mouse with my left hand.  And yesterday... after over 30+ years of basketball... I decided to change my shot.  It's not that I was bad... but I wanted to get better.  And with the recent dawn of Klay.. and Steph and Dame... and the long game... I needed to get away from the Jordan / Kobe step back, jack and launch.  Rather... needed to create that smooth uppercut one fell swoop motion that creates a rainbow tear drop swoosh everytime I'm on target.

Ohhhh it was bad.  Air ball after air ball.  But the times it did go in... the swoosh was as pleasant as a baby's sneeze.   This is just hoops... it's a game.  But in life and in relationships... there also needs to be a change. 

T's & C's

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Since when did installing software come with that screen of terms and conditions that you have to click "Acknowledge?" Probably when people started complaining and suing saying, "I didn't know your software was gonna do XYZ!"  Or "You didn't specifically say ABC was going to happen."  

Well, what about friendships and companionships? Do we need T's & C's? Isn't there just some fundamental understanding that when you share something, say something, it shouldn’t be reshared? "Well... you didn't say I couldn't share."  Or "I didn't think that was a secret...."  

My fault for not stipulating these things.  Or maybe... the whole, "Don't tell anyone about this but..." is just an empty promise anyways   People click the "Acknowledge" button and don’t read the terms and conditions anyways...