First points

Half time... we were up 20-5.  The starting 5 is that good.

Then Coach Stanley put in the 2nd 5....and the other team starting catching up.

And in the end... NN sinks her first points of the season.  Two jump shots.  She missed her two layups.  And how... outside of the starting 5, she's the only one to have notched any points.  NN was on cloud nine.  She can't stop talking about her 3 pointer that only counted for 2.  She can't stop murmuring about how she should have 8 points instead of 4.  And yet... she still isn't anywhere close to being a starter.  

So happy for her.... she's now on the opposite end of what SW (or I) had to go through. 

VICTORY!!!!

Boys Soccer lost to Sacred Heart 0-5.  Sacred Heart lost to Menlo 0-4.  And today... the Girls basketball team went up against Menlo.  I was certain we'd lose.  Menlo, as I remembered it, are big and tall.  Their PE class is their basketball team.  They practice during PE.  They practice during practice.  

But after the first 3 minutes.... we were up 7-0.  This could be it.  

NN was not on the starting 5.  She didn't come in until the 2nd round of subs.  And it was apparent.  The skill differentiation between the starters and bench warmers were soooooo apparent.  And as gifted and athletic as NN is... she really did not belong on that court with those girls.

She doesn't have an athletes' body... she has a dancer's body.  She tries to play smothering defense...but a bigger, speedier handler can blow right by her.  She doesn't have the confidence to dribble.  It's always go to the right... dribble twice... pick it up... and pass.   Her basketball IQ is high off the court... but in the midst of everything... she still throws up rainbow passes.  

So much she can work on and improve if she wants to sniff the starting 5.  With her stature... her skills... the time and work she puts in... I don't think she'll get there.  

And as the clock winded (wound) down... TKA Jr. High Girls Team A notched their first win of the season.

NN has zero points.  1 rebound. 1 blocked shot.  And the world has been lifted.  Hopefully...she can now play her best game with the first VICTORY under her belt. 

De ja vu

It happened again... another loss.  0-5.

Mercy rule was in tact after the first half.  Sacred Heart backed off.  And I changed the line up.  We needed speed in the back.  I rotated our best players from Forwards to Defense, to try and triage the mess.  Whether it was my dazzling play calling... or it was the fact the other team couldn't shoot in the penalty area.... they only scored one more goal in the 2nd half.

Then oh-my-lanta.... de ja vu....

Same kid. Same parent.  Took forever to come pick up their kid.  What is wrong with these parents?!?! Does the world evolve around them??? They smile.  They apologize.  But do they even realize... that their own selfishness wreaks havoc on a bunch of other boys that needed to go home.

How I wanted to rip into him.... but I held it in.  Is this week ever gonna get better?

So close... it's surreal

Around noon... one of my managers pinged me saying one of my employees hasn't reported into work and we can't reach him.  How do we do a wellness check.  It was the same employee that got trapped during the storm and had to evacuate to a hotel.  I told him to call the hotel and check up on him.  Simple enough.

10 minutes later... he pings me. "Emergency.  Need to talk."

He calls me on my cell and says, "Uh.... Jim passed away." 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  So I called the County Sheriff's Coroner's office and sure enough... "We have Jim." 

So surreal.  Last week... we had lunch with him.  We were laughing.  Joking.  Talking about life.  And now... there's no life to talk about. 

What made it worse was... when I told HR and asked for guidance.. I got slapped in the face, not once but twice, for not notifying them right away.  Sorry - I did what I thought was right in notifying their next of kin.  Redo this 100 times and I'll do the same thing 100 times over. HR never once thought about what I was going through.  I just lost a colleague.  I lost a friend. 

The rest of the day was surreal.  I needed to process this and I couldn't.  Had one meeting that allowed me to take my mind off of things for an hour.  Then headed to practice and I was able to distract myself for a bit.  But when I got home... my mind was completely consumed.

Kids knew I was off.  I was not normal.  I was still in shock.  Was stunned. 

Then mom... of all people... picked the absolute wrong night and wrong time to call for simple tech support and whine.  I couldn't take it.  The straw broke my back... and I snapped. Any other night... any other night...

This comes on the tail end of SW crying at church... 

I'm a mess right now.  I can't take this.  Can't bear this.  

Jesus... can you take my burdens?

Cloud nine to reality

CNY2023.... what a day.

Today started out with a bang... heading to church early to prep for CNY Hospitality.  Eden Fellowship hasn't had a chance to serve like this in 3+ years.  And we came out strong... came out in numbers... including our newest members. 

Then we headed out to SF for New Year's Dinner.  Mom graciously offered to have dinner together with dad.  Dad couldn't have cared less.  The restaurant was short on staff. But we figured it out. Knew exactly what to say... what to order.. down to getting the doggie bags / boxes and cashing in the check.  I saw other tables look at us / stare at us with envy... how we got in / got out.

And of course... the Niners eeking out another close playoff game against the hated Cowboys.  The entire restaurant was watching.  I was the only one that really cared. Bang Bang Niner Gang!!

But the reality really struck tonight... as I was putting NN to bed... NN asked, "Did mommy tell you what happened at youth today?"

Pastor Sam, during Sunday Youth Breakfast, asked if anyone's ever felt lonely.  And SW started tearing up... and he admitted to the Youth Pastor and the other Youths... he felt lonely at church.  To a point where he started crying,.. and had to excuse himself.  My SW... my jovial, goofy SW.  Admitting out in the open... open kimono... how he felt.  To a point... where he left the Youth Hall.. and Sam went out after him.  To a point.. where NN started crying because SW blamed her for not wanting to go to PBC and start a new church life.  And then... NN started crying.  For all the right reasons.  I call it Spiritual Discernment.  Something about PBC does not feel right.  For her... for me.  But SW and Joyce are ready to make the move.  I'm 50/50... lukewarm at best... and yet... it's NN who's saying this isn't the right move.  

My heart is broken for SW.  It's equally as broken for NN being so torn.  And here I am... sucking up every last tweet... free article... and replay of the Niner game... wondering what is next for our family.

Jesus... can you open up a way? (For the Niners to win a Superbowl... and for our next step as a family?)

Streak

The streak continues... Coach Henry remains winless.

Final score was 0-5. It could've been 0-4... but the opposing team scored twice after the mercy rule was called. And who knows what else could've happened had that team kept playing the way they played.

In my defense.. I substituted our talent away from key positions and automatically.. we got scored on.  

The worst part is... I don't know what to do.  I don't know what we need to work on to correct our course.  My goal (pun intended) now... is to score one.  I don't want to be shutout for the season.  Do we have a chance?? Based on our schedule... that can very well happen.   

Spark of Light

For some reason... just can't get away from this subject.  I first picked up "Spark of Light" when I grabbed whatever book I can find the day before we left for Tahoe.  Ended up bringing it up and back on the 9 hour round trip.  Never even looked at it until Christmas Day.  Hmm... didn't even realize the irony.  The day we celebrate the BIRTH of Christ...is when I crack open a book on abortion.

Like all of Jodi Picoult's books, she jumps right in and hooks you.  This time, it was a different hook.  So many characters.  So many arcs.  And by the time you get to the second chapter... you soon come to realize, this is a backwards book.  Like Memento... or that famous Seinfeld episode.  This bothered me soooo much... cuz I neglected to remember enough of the previous chapter... and I sorta kinda made me want to re-read it.  But I held out.

"Spark of Light." As Picoult describes it... is the moment a sperm fertilizes an egg.  And the chemical reaction will generate zinc... and also generate... a Spark of Light.  Is that where life begins...at conception? Or does life begin... at the exit of the womb? Or does life begin... whenever State government determines it begins? The author dove deep into the philosophical, religious, legal, and emotional angles.  Heck... she even took us between a woman's legs and inside her uterus, going through an abortion play-by-play, down to every last instrument inside the body, and every last tissue and liquid, coming out of the body. Never have I ever... but now I have.

The book was, strangely enough, centered around 2 dads and their daughters' relationship.  And oddly enough... not once, did I cry.  Me.  The guy who cries over diaper commercials!!  I did not cry... until I got to the Epilogue, when it wasn't even about the story anymore.  Picoult describes the real life doctor she interviewed and fashioned for the book.  And she said, "He chose this work because of his faith - not in spite of it."  At that moment... the waterworks came bursting.

Stranded

The atmospheric river or pineapple express has been wreaking havoc on California for a month now... torrential downpours unlike anything I remember for all the time I've lived here.  Yes - we get pounded, but not relentlessly, like this.  

And as trees, powerlines, and mountainsides came running down... also came down were bridges, especially up in the Santa Cruz mountains, in which one of my co-workers lived.

I tried reaching him the first week of the year... to no answer.  I vaguely remember he said he'll be on vacation, so I didn't give it much thought.  Then week 2 came by and still no response.  Out of the blue, my associate manager says the guy is trapped.  The access roads to his neighborhood got wiped out.  He's without power and running water.  But he has food and water, thankfully.

I didn't know what to do.  Call 9-1-1?? What's 9-1-1 gonna do??? Send in a helicopter to evacuate??  So I started cold-calling my company's emergency / security hotlines to ask for help.... no one knew what to do.  Physically, he was safe.  But for how long?? 

It was impossible for me to reach the guy... who turned on his phone just a few minutes a day... to conserve power on his phone.  So only way I got word from him was through that associate manager.  And he told me... the ravine from where the bridge use to be is at least 50 feet wide.  I told him... we can drive up to the ditch... and heave bottles of water, propane, battery, Domino's Pizza over to him.  

That was going to be our Thursday adventure. Drive up to the ravine.  I was thinking... we should bring ropes.  Maybe we can make a transport line.  Or I can maybe borrow a drone and fly some water (and beer) over to him.  Later in the afternoon... a co-worker that lives in Santa Cruz says someone made a zipline to ship supplies over.  Relief.

Then late last night... we find out that one of my employee's neighbor used a chainsaw and made a bridge or something... and the entire neighborhood got out. He was now in a safehaven of a Quality Inn.  

My L4 manager and I headed up to meet with him today and had lunch.  I thought about bringing a care package but wasn't sure what to get.  We drove through an hour of rain and mountainous regions... through fallen trees and power lines.  We saw CalTrans and PG&E fixing this and that along the way.  Suffice to say... it was not a drive I would take on any other Friday.

We got to this amazing Italian restaurant, situated in the middle of no-where, and as we found it, it use to be a brothel.  The decor is amazing.  The service is exceptional.  And the clam chowder... well worth the drive.  When my colleague walked in... he was smiling from ear to ear.  He was so glad to see a couple of familiar faces.  His eyes started welling up.  "You didn't need to do this.  But I'm so happy to see you right now." 

History repeating itself

A year and one day ago... this happened.  Course... the ensuing events snowballed into an inferno of a mess. A year and one day later... "Daddy... I got into Team A."  

Redemption. Validation. Vindication.  NN wanted it so bad.  She played with a chip on her shoulder.  She ran harder and faster than she ever ran... to a point, where she broke her shoe. 

Now she has a new chip on her shoulder.  She's riding pine. She'll have to work her way to the starting lineup.  Keep fighting Nui.... with every last sweat and every last beat of your heart... but in all things, give Glory and Honor to Jesus. 

I'm an American!!!

"Y'know... I know nothing about soccer.  What you'll get is an adult with a loud voice. You sure that's what you want?"

"An encouraging warm body is all we are looking for. :)"

I am so lost.... don't even ask me to explain offside.  I'm an American!!! I don't know anything about soccer.  But guess what.... Coach Henry is back. 

中華之傲

What a moment for Asians.  A moment for women.  A moment for 60 year olds.  Carry this to the Oscars.  You've got, at least, 2 billion people behind you... 

Records are made to be broken

The kids woke up and fought to play Minesweeper.  Then they found out... overnight.. I clocked in at 11 seconds!! HAHA!!  I think at my best, on Windows, with a working mouse, I was at 9 seconds for the Easy level.

Within an hour... NN clocked 8 seconds.  I ain't beating that record. Nope.  Not even gonna try. 

The Classic

Busted out a classic video game for the kids today... and they're addicted. Nope. Not Super Mario Brothers. Not ATARI. Not Tetris on the black and white Gameboy. Those are all good in their own sense. But today... I downloaded and introduced the kids to... Minesweeper!!

After some explaining... SW's first "Easy" game took 294 seconds. Then he played by himself and he finished in 170 seconds. Then I played... and finished in 30 seconds. I thought that record was gonna stand for a few weeks (or a few days). It took SW all of 3 tries and he chopped it down to 23 seconds. NN couldn't stand it anymore...she had to come and learn. And she was addicted. Not so much to the game, but to the fact she had to beat SW's time.

It got to the point where we flossed, brushed our teeth, and were about to go to bed when NN finally came up the stairs to proudly announce, "21 seconds." Immediately... SW woke up, raced downstairs, and disappeared for the next 10 minutes. We finally heard footsteps, coming up the stairs when he said, "家姐，we tied. I also got 21."

Phew.... glad he got 21. If he got anything else... NN would've rushed downstairs and they would never sleep. Little did they know... that after they're tucked away and snoring and dreaming... that I would come down... demolish their times... and hold the record of 11 seconds for "Easy" mode. Can't wait till we get to Intermediate and Expert!!

Don't ever forget that feeling!!

SW and I went to shoot some hoops today.  For whatever reason... he had an off day and I beat him in all of our games.  He was feeling pretty lousy.  But then... what I've been wanting to do... was drive him back onto campus.  I parked right next to the bench where he and I sat when he found out he didn't make Team A.

I pointed to the bench... "Remember that day... the third day of tryouts... and Coach Jacob said you were on Team B?"  

He quickly responded, with tears welling up, "Yeah." 

I didn't expect that response... but I guess to him... the wound is still deep and healing.  I then asked, "So you remember how you felt.  Do you remember how you felt when you won MVP?"

Much to my surprise, he said, "Not really."  I guess, in life, the 5 oz of pain far outweights 5 lbs of gains.  

I launch into a speech, "Don't ever forget that feeling. No matter how low life can get... you pick up yourself up.  Use your God-given talent.  Put in hardwork.  Extra effort.  Your coach will see it.  Your teammate, who voted you MVP, will recognize it.  You will become a better player.  A better person.  There will be more disappointments in life.  And in those moments, you will need to rise up.  Look that fear and disappointment in the eye and show them who's boss."  

We then went to McDonalds and got a cold drink and some crispy, hot fries. 

GFCI

Freezer in our garage started leaking water.  Turns out the wall socket wasn't working. My immediate thought was to replace it.  Not too bad... $7-10 from Home Depot.  What bugs me is... the front panel as a GFCI sticker on it, but there's no GFCI button.  Grrr....

I wasn't sure which breaker the socket was on... so I turned off all the breakers in the house.  Using the flashlight from my iPhone... I carefully removed the wires.  Then I turned on all the breakers to buzz out the wires only to find... zero volts!! So it's not the socket itself.  I give up. Nothing I can do at this point.

Had to call the landlord to get an electrician.  I sent him pictures and told him what I did.  He quickly responded... "Press the button on the GFCI circuit in the garage."  Then it dawns on me... duh... a socket can be on a GFCI circuit in series!!!!  There's zero volts because another circuit in series has tripped.  I finally locate that socket (it's 10 feet away), press the button and "presto", let there be light.  

And I call myself a EE.  Pssssh! 

Frozen Jaw

Woke up this morning to a frozen jaw... or locked jaw. For some inapparent reason, my left jaw bone was stuck beyond opening 1-2". A million thoughts went through my mind.. including falling back asleep and catch another 10 minutes of shut eye. Do I see a doctor? Do I see a dentist?

In a situation like this... Did what most red-blooded Americans would do and googled the symptoms and there's a term for this!! Temporomandibular joint dysfunction or TMJ/TMD.   Causes include stress, grinding, a bacterial infection, and maybe excessive chewing...  The cure?? Heat pad for 30 minutes... or just some simple massage.  So that's what I did.  Laid in bed and rubbed my jaw for about 5 minutes and like a jammed door... or opening a jar of spaghetti sauce... it slowly and surely, budged and eventually... noramlity. 

Frozen jaw??

"The cold never bothered me any ways..."  

Intolerance

In school... we are taught to be tolerant.  Tolerant of people's antics, shenanigans, differences.  It's a sign of acceptance.

In church, ironically, we are taught to no longer tolerate.  That we've been wronged all our childhood lives and we should stand firm in our beliefs.

What if... intolerance isn't for a human being.

What I thought was a one time occurrence during COVID, came back during the holidays.  And then yesterday... I was knocked out the entire day after one bowl of milk and cereal. It's not coincidence.  I am one who can no longer tolerate... lactose. 

Looking back at 2022

2022.  An even year.  The year of the Tiger.  A midterm election year - which means it's 2 years after/before the presidential election and Olympics.  Which also means it's the World Cup.  The world mourned as Neymar lost to scrappy Croatia and the whole world cheered (except for Brazil), as Messi was finally coronated as the Great of All Time (more on that later).  Along the way... we also mourned for giants and titans such as Queen Elizabeth, Sidney Portier, Jiang Zemin, Angela Lansbury, Pope Benedict... and to bookend these two sentences, Pele - THE Great of All Time. The year started with the world coming out from a pandemic only to slapped in the face by Omicron like Monday slaps Garfield or Will Smith at the Oscars. We witnessed the invasion of Ukraine nearly kickstarting World War III, just as we were inundated by headline after headline of mass shootings, eclipsed by the "never would I imagine" overturning of Roe v Wade, followed by the inevitable implosion of cryptocurrency, to a preview of the 2024 election with down to the wire... many days after... election-fraud drama.  The world predicted a record breaking number of COVID babies due to SIP... and two of our closest family friends helped bolster that metric. It's almost cliche to say... but it should be said...  Looking forward to a better and brighter year.  Before we do... let's have a look back at 2022....

I think I need to launch a separate mini section for NN and SW.  They're both in middle school now.  Young Adult's.  Beings of their own.  If I included them in my Top 10.... it'll be more like a Top 5 cuz they occupy so much real estate.  Kinda like when Beauty of the Beast got a Best Picture nomination only for the Academy to spin off a Best Animated Picture category.  "And the winner is..."

NN:

1. Being selected to Basketball Team A only to be demoted to Team B and end up winning the PHD.  Not to mention scoring that one basket against Team A during a scrimmage. 
2. Being selected Team Captain of the Volleyball Team B and earning PHD again.
3. Auditioning for and winning the lead role in Music Man Jr... only to be stricken by a voice cancelling cold the week before going live.
4. Hawaii
5. All Church Retreat

SW:

1. Making into King's and transitioning middle school
2. Winning MIP and MVP for flag football and basketball
3. Hawaii
4. Driving a golf cart
5. All Church Retreat

Without further ado.... here is my top 10 of 2022. 

1. Affordable Housing - on some random summer day, Siu Han calls and asks me to help her find housing cuz she's afraid of being evicted.  Huda known that that would've launched me into months of research, learning, scaling, and finally... overcoming the situation by placing her into Affordable Housing.  I've documented this too many times in the actual blog... but to see first hand how helpless non-English speakers are in this land of opportunity... is propelling me into my next phase of ministry. 
2. Warriors Championship Parade - Not one, not two, not three... but four chips in the last 7 years.  If you don't call that a dynasty... then what??? To cap off a season of improbables... the impossible happened.  NN accompanied me to the Warriors Championship Parade with dad.  In the end... it was a horrible day.  But a day... that eeked into the top 10. 
3. He's gone - I preach to the kids.. we will never get a pet outside of a fish.  Picking up poop.  Walking them in the early mornings or late at night in the rain. Socials and schools. Begging for dog sitters during vacations. Doggie hotels which lead to depression. Dental, salon, and vet bills. All that.... just to cover up the fear of inevitable separation. Never have I thought that I'll be so attached to one that wasn't even my own.  Is there such thing as doggie heaven? Based on Christian dogma... they didn't "believe and confess."  Then again... based on Christian drama... they will be judged by their hearts.  I choose to believe... we shall meet again. 
4. Coach Henry - what started as an innocent email asking for parental help turned into a legacy in the Leung household. Initially... I signed up to shag balls and find an excuse to hang out with my tweenage daughter.  Huda thunk that it'll evolve to being an intricate part of NN's 7th grade year... and led to being invited to coach the Boy's team with an [un]forgettable season for SW's 6th grade season.  Yes... I am 0-12.  Winless.  The biggest loser.  But to be able to spend such quality time with my children.... I'm the biggest winner. 
5. First Victories - NN started her athletic career 0-12.  Never would I have thought that I would be on hand to deliver NN's first organized team sport victory.  After leaving the courts for 10+ years, my first venture back equated to a Dubya.  1-12.  Can't wait for #2 to roll around.
6. Hanging up the badge - 5 years as CS MA, it was time.  To wrap up a lame duck year... there was CNY, CS Picnic, WOG End of Year Carnival, translating at Mission Conference, All Church Retreat - planning, budgeting, performing w/ NN on stage, MC-ing, Rally of Church.  And what did NN say? "I don't think you can stop being MA.  You love doing things too much.  You're going to be listless." She's not wrong.  
7. Fantasy Baseball Champ - Most everything is detailed in the blog post... but the side comment I heard from the kids when we hung out at Jeff's house was, "Daddy... you were so tense during those final weeks.  Always on your phone."  I poured my life into those final weeks.  Can't wait to do it again. 
8. Remodeling - I barely blogged about this topic...  What started in January of 2022 of commissioning a foundation contractor to lift our house... turned into 3 months of design... followed by 3 more months of obtaining a permit.  Only for me to get an AC and concrete guy to start the demo and I find out I have to wait another 3-4 months (at best) for he actual approval.  I got so antsy... my contractor stopped returning my calls and grew snarky with me.  I got so impatient... I nearly marched up a City Council meeting and blasted the city during open mic time.  Cool heads prevailed and I ended up emailing my City Council rep (no response). Hurdle after hurdle... and 12 months after the process started, the foundation was fixed.  The concrete was poured.  The AC reinstalled.  And the handy man patched up the walls and fixed my doors.  12 months of paying mortgage for an empty house while renting a townhouse in Sunnyvale.  Don't ask me how we did it.  Now let's get this sucker rented so I get some money flowing back in!!!
9. Hawaii  - 8 day vacation in paradise with a group of 15...  and the one thing that sticks out as my top moment...was nearly drowning, while being unable to help my kids.  That feeling of inadequacy and utter helplessness will haunt me forever. 
10. COVID - After 2 years of dodging bullets... I became a metric.  I get what I deserve.  Of all the people in my family.. I'm the least observant of masking and sanitizing hands. If not for my love for my wife... and SW's respritory sensitivity... I could careless about any of these guidelines and suggestions.  I'm not an anti-vaxer or anti-masker... I'm just lazy.  Somewhere along the line... I must've let my guard down and BOOM!!! Shawshank for 11 days. But at the end of the day... it wasn't the physical sickness I feared.  But the emotional loneliness I dreaded. Locked up in a room.  Eating by myself (or Facetime, during dinner).  Sneaking a walk when no one was home.  Couldn't touch my wife. Couldn't hug my kids.  Thankfully... I had a couple of close friends to text to keep me sane (Heart U Nita and MC!!!) Oddly. it was also the NBA playoffs and finals, so evenings were entertaining.  If there was ever anything that would make me keep my mask on... it's that emotional separation.  Never.  Ever. Again.  I love my family too much.

Top 10's are just a list I make when I browse through my blog.  I know there are more events that would make this list.  God continues to do amazing things in my life every day... like, keeping me safe from that careless driver on 680 the other day.  Those "moments" will never make this list because it's something that didn't happen.  Those special, countless, moments of anointing.... can only be summed up in one word, or one number, rather..... 2023.  

Thank you, Jesus!! I love you!!