It occurs to me...

  COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 176

It occurs to me... that when we tell our kids to "Do the dishes..." all they'll know is to rinse the dishes and put them in the dish washer.

Performance Review

 COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 175

Got my annual performance review today. Of all the things my boss told me... he said “you have a great sense of humor!” Finally... someone who recognizes my talent!!

Cathartic Cleansing

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 172

What started with deleting recent school emails on my phone email app... ended up with me deleting all my old emails in my G-mail account. Emails dating back to 2006!!  I may have deleted some emails inadvertently which I'll surely regret in the near future.  But for now... I went from ~6000 emails down to ~2000 emails.  

Ahhhhh....... 

願魚上釣

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 171

For two years... I've been wanting and hoping that I can take my kids fishing and they can catch an actual fish.  Time and time again...we've gone.  And every time...we've failed.  Until this Sunday.  When I reluctantly took a walk with the family to a local trail and we came across a dried up lake.  Dried up!! How???  It can't be a drought because the adjacent lakes were still full.  

Upon research... which didn't turn up much... it looks like county lakes go through siphoning and recycling to enhance the "retention period" so the water doesn't sit still if there were pollutants.  Another reason can be they're trying to retrofit parts of a nearby reservoir and in order to do so... they have to empty all the water.  Whatever the reason... we came upon a lake that was left with a pool of water that was filled fish.  Not just any fish... the very fish we wanted to fish for.  The fish we wondered if they even existed.  Fish that was easily 6-7 lbs in weight and the size of my torso.  

We saw a bunch of people braving the sticky mud and walking to this pool to grab fish....bass, trout, carp.  Some took them home.  There were a bunch of 20 year olds rescuing the fish. Putting them in fishing nets, or Home Depot buckets or even hand carrying them and bringing them to the nearby lakes.  

My little SW braved the elements, rolled up his pants and did his own fishing.  He finally caught his first fish.  Not with a rod, line and bait as I had planned.  But ultimately... he caught a live fish!!! 

*Side note: Posting his pic cuz he's masked up and completely covering his face. 

遙距居家令風雲

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 170

2021 嘅新春晚會又告一段落. 新人仕，新作風，新嘗試！ 得唔得、冇緊要。 最緊要放膽去做！I love being able to raise up new talent... and give others a chance to try.  Ohhhhhh..... but after this 3rd round of celebration... I think I'm feeling it a bit.  Wonder what it's like to just join, watch and enjoy?? Hmm.....

This time was a bit different.  Unlike the past 4-5 CNY's... I wasn't directly in-charge.  This freed me up to "do stuff."  That "stuff" was a reflection of Fellowship Life over Zoom.  I could've called it quits with a a simple virtual play - which took so much creative juice and thinking in it of itself.  Some would say that's probably more than enough.  But why stop there...when I can 終於稍為達成我其中一個夢想...  

• The dream - 用rap嘅形式作套歌劇。(as I penned back in July)
• The cast - I had a wide pool of talent... but not necessarily the right talent for what I wanted.  Y'know what they say, "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit."  But I love my bros and sis ohhhhh soooo much. 
• The script - This was actually the easy part... wrote it in one night.  
• The music - There are many different styles of rap and hip hop.  The one that Lin Manual Miranda used had a lot of freestylin' with no apparent beat or rhythm.  But as chaotic as "Alexander Hamilton" seemed to be... there was still a certain set of rules and theory it adhered to.  It's not obvious initially... but if you get it wrong... it's louder than a trumpet in an empty church.  
• The lyrics - words, words, words. This was literally a clean slate - changing an English song into a Chinese one.  Unlike the Two Lost Sons where I had some words to go by... I think this is as close as writing lyrics for a song just on composition alone.   

• The regret - As much as my dream came true with a hip-hop/rap song... I think that the song that didn't make the final cut was actually better.  It's a Canto-pop song, so the transition is a lot smoother.  It also told a better story.  As the stars aligned (or not, in this case), this song will forever be buried in the confines of "Never to See Light." Too bad... too too bad.  

So what's next???  I'll assume that I achieved my dream of a Hamilton Style musical, sorta, kinda.  What's next...is of course... what I originally wanted to do as written here: "My new dream... a self produced, self directed, original soundtrack musical...."  趙琛敏， 準備好未？Let's do it!!!

Father Follies

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 169

Starting a new series called Father Follies... mistakes I make as a father that... by God's grace... isn't overly damaging, but when we look back...will bring barrels of laughter and relieve. 

Decided to take both kids biking... but didn't want to redo the Los Gatos Bike Trail.  Found the Quicksilver Bike Trail which looked promising.  Outdoorsy... 10 mile loop.  The only problem is there's an initial grade that's considered "intermediate."  

When we got there... and I saw the trail... it was full of rocks and pebbles.  I started to have some doubt this will be too challenging.  But I willed myself forward.  The grade was as steep as those San Francisco hills I've had to climb.  I could barely get up there on 1st gear... let alone two kids with 100 lb bikes.  So we decided to push our bikes to the apex.... and once we get to the flat part... we can enjoy the ride and scenery.  Hill after hill... bend after bend... I keep telling them we're almost at the top.  

As we're going up... we see these mountain bikers zip down and smile at us.  After about 0.5 mile... what felt like 5 miles... I busted out my phone to re-read the website's description.  Only to see that the initial steep climb.... is 3 miles!!!!  That's when I waved the white flag and called it quits.  Not today...  ain't worth it.  

Since we made the climb... why not ride our way back down?? On slippery, pebble-ridden paths, with dips and holes.   We gave it a try... but I heard too many slipping tires.  They don't know the first thing about left hand / right hand braking.  And I certainly can't carry two injured kids and 3 bikes back down the hill.  Yeah... no.  We ended up trudging back down the hill to the van.  

The day ended well.  We stopped by another park on the way home and rode a quiet, flat, well paved path for about 5 miles.  But no one will remember that path.  We will always talk about how Bah-B almost got them kill... because he couldn't read the internet correctly.  

A tough conversation

 COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 167

Had a 2 hour long conversation with big bro tonight... all in all... he went around a dozen circles to tell me to tell my kids to get off the device and spend time as a family.  He didn't lay it into me... and he softened the blow as much as possible... but ultimately, that's what it comes down to.  

He has this delusional fantasy that our families will get together like American sitcoms and everyone will enjoy each other's company when spending quality time together.  But alas... those just mere moments stuffed inside a 24 minute episode.  Our families are just not built that way.  The age barrier.  The language barrier.  The culture barrier.  The fact that we only get together 2-3 times a year - there is simply no bond to build on.  To his credit... he's still trying to hang-on to his wishful thinking.  If he gives up... like me... then there really is zero chance.  

Last night... I saw Jeremy Affeldt post on his IG a picture of his son engaged in a deep battle of Risk with his grandfather.  One on one.... and during that battle... maybe, just maybe, Grandpa Affeldt was imparting life lessons to his grandson? Or Grandson was schooling Grandpa on the latest trends and pop culture? Or maybe they were debating how the Niners need to go all-in with the salary cap being where it's at? 

Am I jaded? Did I throw in the towel already? Has reality or pessimism settled in where I think it's not a battle worth fighting... it's not a hill worth taking.  And what if I lay down the law and force it 2-3 times a year??  What if that further makes it more distasteful for the kids... where the best part of the day... is when it ends.  Relationships can't be forced. You can't prime Christmas gifts or pass out red envelopes and expect "to be a tight knit family."  Families are not formed during special events and get-togethers.  It's from those lazy Sunday afternoons when there's nothing to do.... we're hanging out in the living room... not saying a word... and simply living.  Cuz if you're not living.... then you're dying.  Hmmm... that blog post took a dark turn.

怎去猜想惡夢會變真 - Part 2

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 166

Been spending so much time on the CNY video that I'm even dreaming about it!  Horrible... absolutely horrible.  And yet.... I love every second of it.  

大年初四

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 165

Dad came in to 開年 today and it turned out to be a very special day. Got to spend time as a family together. And even got to hang out with just dad and big bro over a cup of coffee. Dunno when was the last time it was just the three of us... if ever.

40 Days of Prayer

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 162

40日禱告旅程, 說長不長， 說短不短. 光陰似箭, 似水流年, 飄流而去.  開始時, 團長沒太大的信心可以達成，連牧師都覺得呢件事、若然做到是非常之commendable.

還記得第一晚,我自己望住個screen, 心𥚃充滿不安、恐怕未來40日會是自己度過。這計劃, 這事工, 這禱告事項就此失敗. 點知神正在使用這粒小小的芥菜種子、讓我學習新的一課。

回望過去這40日

• 先一兩個禮拜,平均有四至五個家庭一起聚. 到後期只有兩三個人參加. 常言道, 這不是 sprint, 而是 marathon.
• 只有一晚有兩個family, 但祈禱之後有的團契聊天、反而更有anointing.
• 只有一晚是我倆公婆, 因為home group 遲了完, 大家都累、沒有人參加。
• 有一晚, 因公司的事務繁瑣、心裏好亂, 靈裏不定, 但透過禱告, 再次順服給聖靈、 可以平靜了。
• 有一晚, 同小華玩到樂極忘形, 幸好老婆及時提醒。
• 有一晚, 我實在太忙，透不過氣, 想偷懶缺席. 當晚是祈禱會,「多我一個唔多, 少我一個唔少」. 到最後、都咬實牙根、捱 了下去.
• 有一晚為醫院牧師禱告，這一班人是我忽略了、從來沒有為這一班人禱告，這算是禱告的突破.
• 第37日, 以為剩下三日的時間, 團長竟然挑戰我們未來七日都要為某一個國家禱告, 40日竟變成44日. 其實多四日又算得上什麼?

想起聖經裏面, 摩西上山索取十誡, 他會否在第37日開始諗「還有四日就可以落山?」 又或者耶穌在曠野禁食禱告, 會不會諗, 剩下四日就可以搵班friend吃喝玩樂? 這兩位聖經的大英雄其實是到41日、受到極大的試探，我們務要小心.  

豁達來看，這40日大部份, 都是交功課, 逼住自己去, 不是忍不住要祈禱，而當洗濕了個頭, 無得返轉頭. 身為搞手, 有責任晚晚出現.  这40日, 我生命有沒有改變? 可能這個答案要好多年後先可以答到. 我不敢話可以改變任何生命, 可以改變任何靈命，但透過今次, 不知不覺間將團契拉近了. 某些什少主動出聲或出席禱告會都有參與.  老婆非常之討厭 corporate prayer都有來。我相信身為基督徒、在適當的時候禱告的熱枕會浮現。

今日大年初一星期五，星期五晚我都有 Family Movie Night. 但過去這六個禮拜, 一到8:30, 我要拋低小孩、到网上聚會，實是一個掙扎, 一個挑戰. 今晚當我在諗我們可以睇什麼戲的時候, 我突然間諗.... "哎呀8:30!又要祈禱!" 之後愕然驚醒, 聚會已經完結, 忽然有一陣釋放的感覺。 

我點解可以堅持40日, 不間斷地每晚8:30祈禱? 源於幾年前, 我同某個弟兄嘗試過20日, 從不間斷晚晚聚會.  連他要到亞洲公幹出差, 都仍然保持約會. 如果這個並非40日的禱告旅程, 而是40週, 40個月, 40年..... 我們家庭生活, 個人生活, 靈命會去到什麼地步呢? 某程度上, 可以堅持40日禱告, 是直得驕傲，但有一點兒驕傲, 就進入犯罪. 

祈禱不應是個特別事項,或特別嘅約會, 應該每個基督徒應有的責任、應有的本分、應有的享受.

變型金剛、眼睛不能望

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 161

SW had "Character Day" for Spirit Week at school.... and I went big and made him an Optimus Prime costume.  It was nothing more than cardboard boxes, glue, tape and some paint.... but boy did we have fun!!! (I had fun...HA!!). 

The project was pretty cool....  I was able to involve them with some of the engineering and math.  I showed them how to measure and cut.  Showed them how to use a compass.  Even showed them how to make an engineering unit to test out some designs.  

Cardboard work.... 

Painting.... 

The progression....

Boy, was I pissed when SW told me he didn't win "Best Costume!!"  I take solace in that the teacher said he already won on Monday for "Color Day." In the spirit of "EVERYBODY WINS", he wasn't gonna sweep the awards that week.  Shucks....

What kills me is.... SW semi-mocks me for saying "I spent 15 minutes and won Color Day. We spent 7 days and lost Character Day!"

What irks me a little is Joyce saying.... "He's gonna wear the costume and showcase for 30 seconds... is this really worth it?"

What makes this all worth it.... I got to have so much fun doing this with my kids. 😚.  Even though it costed me 7 days.... and $7 for the spray paint.