Writing an essay...

Nui nui has her SSAT's on Saturday.  On top of math and verbal...there is an essay portion.  So I spent the night coaching NN on how to write an essay... how to generate a topic sentence.  How to create an outline.  And after an outline... you can, as {{someone}} puts it... you "paint with words."

There are so many ways of writing an essay.. generating a topic... citing examples.  And NN simply has not experienced life to write a full blown essay.

Jogs back memory of 6th grade...when I once wrote "Who I love most."  I wrote... the people I love most is God and Mary. It was from my heart.  It was a true answer. The teacher read my essay publicly....anonomously.  Afterwards... my classmates came up to me and asked if it was my essay.  I didn't think anything of it and answered, "Yes." I was immediately accused of being a suck-up.  I wasn't ready for that response.  Why would anyone question my true values???

I don't want to stop NN from expressing herself.  To show her true colors.  But is that limiting her in the real world?

Henry Leung 嘅本色

I arrived 10 minutes late to Prayer Meeting... and of course, they didn't start yet.  Upon arrival... PAL shoots off, "遲咗十分鐘。 唔似Henry Leung 嘅本色喎."

你看鳴！ 疾我！?

"Could we visit please?"

Received an email from the school principal asking Joyce and I to go in and see her.  Our dearest NN was in trouble and we were summoned.  I can't believe we are now "those parents." What to do? What to say? I have no clue.... God... please help.

過年

Me: 點呀？ 新年做咗咩？

Parent at school: 團年喺屋企打邊爐。

Me: 啞... 殺菌。

Parent at school: 初一我哋去咗 Danville 食西餐. 你呢？

Me: 我哋去咗 Gilroy 避年。 冇乜中國人啞嘛. 

Parent at school: 醒目.

草木皆兵

The Wuhan Coronavirus has taken the world by storm.  To a point where I asked Dad if we should still have our New Year's Dinner at a Chinese Buffet (full of Chinese ppl...and a not-so-clean environment).  His response was...  沒有關係， 不要草木皆兵.  So much wisdom... in 10 simple words.

Today... PAL asked us what we should do about CNY.  I apty replied... 草木皆兵.  HA!!!

Then I went off.... saying, in times of uncertainty and fear... the church needs to stand strong and be the light.  He didn't buy it.  He cancelled CNY.  I don't blame him.  That's the wise thing to do.

Oh btw... Dad ended up cancelling our dinner.  Pssssh.... all talk and nothing to back it up.  Weak sauce!!!

"I expected more...."

In 7th grade... our assignment was to write what happened to Ralph and Jack after the "Lord of the Flies."  I wrote about a paragraphs's worth....where Ralph became a General and Jack became a thief.  I got a "D" for that assignment with the comments, "I expected more from you." I was so ashamed.  Never got a D in my life.

I think back and realize.... I should have contested.  "Dude!!! You didn't give any guidelines!! I could've written a book had you asked!!!!"

Flash forward... I see a homework assignment for NN where she answered a question half-assed.  Her teacher gave her a similar comment, "You seem to have been in a hurry.  It's OK to have homework."

I didn't yell at NN.  I reflected on my incident umpteenth years ago and told NN.... you can do better.  It was a very quiet ride to school that morning.  Halfway through the ride... I told her to pull out her homework and re-write the answer.  You won't get any higher grade, but it's the right thing to do.  She started balling.... saying, "I'm under a lot of stress."  I didn't care.  It's the right thing to do.

After dropping her off.... I had to pull over and think.  "What did I just do?!?!?"  I didn't have an answer.

That night.... as I was putting her to bed.... she whispered, "Mrs. McKee won't change my grade, but she said thank you."  I hope she (and I) learned a lesson.

Two Popes

Finally watched the movie "The Two Popes" on Netflix - about the passing of the Papacy from Benedict XVI to Francis.  I'll say it again... once a Catholic, always a Catholic.  In spite of many differences with theology, we all love God and believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior. 

Not sure how much "Hollywood" was put into the movie... in humanizing the infallible bishop of Rome, or canonizing the cardinal bishop of Buenos Aires. Not once (I don't think) did they bring up the Virgin Mary... but in too many instances... they brought up the sex scandal, to where I found myself crying uncontrollably again. 

Two styles.  Two factions.  Two continents.  Two stories.  One God.  One church.  It all comes together.  And bless the director of the movie... as much as I find personal connection with the name Francis as my own patron saint... the director goes on great lengths to expose Pope Francis' love for football or futbol to be more exact.

And with that... my Niners are onto the Super Bowl as 1.5 points Dawgs.  Is this for real?!?!?  I don't think I can relieve 2013 all over again.  Please God... let this be the year.  And if my prayer is any thing like Prayer Meeting last week... no one will say "Amen." 

Good Samaritan

While exiting 17...  a car broke down and was causing traffic. Eventually made it to the culprit and it was a young couple. The wife was on the phone and the husband (like 90% of men) got out, popped the hood and pretended to know what to do by touching “this or that.” Heh. Was about to drive off when I remembered how a stranger helped BBDD when his car broke down. So I got out... Stopped traffic... and with the husband, pushed their SUV off the freeway offramp, across Hamilton and into a gas station.  The couple was so relieved. I said “Have a good day.”

Yes, I was late to lunch. But both kids were so happy hearing the story. Nn even said, “I want to grow up to be like Bah B.” I hope they grow up and be much more than me.

This generation

Read an article about the pending split of the Methodist church over the topic of same sex marriage and openly gay clergy.  The article points back to a split of the church back when slavery was the hot topic of discussion.  So sad.  My heart hurts so much.

Then I read an article about President Trump pushing for prayer in public schools - citing the protection of the 1st amendment.  I may disagree with a lot of his policies... his character... his ploy... but I do applaud him for some of the things he does. 

In times of storm and floods, God still reigns. 

Bang! Bang! Niner Gang

Bang! Bang! Niner Gang. 

Is this our year??  Went to my first ever Niner Playoff game against the Vikes.  Arrived on-time and it was eerie walking up Tasman.  Not a soul to be seen, not even the scalpers.  Turns out... everyone was in their seats already.  A sea of red with sprinkles of purple.  Amazing.

Last week... the team I thought had the most talent... were eliminated by the Vikes.
Last night... the team I feared most... the much loathed Ravens were eliminated by the 6th seed.
Tonight... the much hated Seahawks, who has our numbers, were finally outsed.  Good riddance... I never want to see DangeRuss Wilson in the 4th quarter no matter how big our lead. 

The Packers come back to Levi's after a trouncing earlier in the season.  All the experts say we have a more talented team... but on any given Sunday... (or Saturday, in this case), anything can happen.

But I'm really starting to think... this is our year???  Can this finally be happening???  Will I be talking myself out of a trip to Miami????  Do I pray about this..............????

SSAT

Finally sat down with NN to take a practice SSAT test... not even a practice test... just some sample questions.  For math...she only got 5 out of 10.  Not disappointed, but still, disappointed.

I was pacing back and forth... sneaking a peek here and there.  To a point where she kicked me out of my room.  The test is hard!!! Of course... some emotional outbursts here and there, resulting me in today, going to the library and finding some books (what's left of them).

爸爸生日快樂

Unassuming Tuesday night... I drove out to SF by myself to have a Bday dinner with dad.  Originally, we were going to hit House of Prime Rib... without reservations... but by the time dad got there at 5, it was already a 2 hour wait.  I thought we could hit the bar and have a quiet dinner.  But the bar was packed... and everyone and their mothers were ordering dinner there.  Shucks.  So instead... we mozied over to Harris... which is amazingly still open!!! I thought they shut down years ago.  They sat us down right away... Dad looked at the menu and said, "You order."

It was a wonderful dinner... deep, meaningful conversations... pretty decent food... exceptional service.  And their gin martini... ohhhh soooo yummy.  We talked about this..and that... and everything else. He has so many stories.  New stories.  Lots of old stories.  Lots of 怨氣 that still bothers him.  He even admits that he's getting old and senile... and is becoming a grumpy old man.  So much drama.  So many old scars.  So much pettiness.  But you can see where his values lies.  And I can't fault the guy.  I just hope that he can learn to let go.

After dinner... we're walking to our car.  And he starts talking about the HK protests and his thoughts on Communism.  He loves his country... but he hates Communism.  Communism took away his chance for a college education.  Communism forced him to go be a farmer in the middle of nowhere.  Communism threw his dad into jail for 20 years - all because grandpa made a few jokes and some unfiltered comments. 

Then all of a sudden, dad stops.  He says.. for 20 years, when dad was in jail, never once did I cry.  The one time I cried, was when your 偉叔 told me his dad just took him to watch a Russian movie in a theater.  At that moment... I felt so lonely, so abandoned.  Dad started hyperventilating.  It wasn't from the cold... nor was it from the uphill walk.  He started to cry again.  Those years of pain and anguish was rushing back into his 70+ year old self.  I quickly put my arms around him... trying to embrace him... trying to let him know, "It's OK!!  You may not had a father... but you were a great father to me!!" 

He did not hug me back.  He's a man who never experienced love.  He's never felt another man's embrace.  He didn't know to reciprocate. To him... emotions are weak.  Tenderness are for sissies.

I had a most wonderful evening with my dad... my father.  Just the two of us.  How many more years do we have left to do this??? Geez..... I hate to even think about it.

Snake can't walk without a head

After 5 minute of online research... we ended up picking a church to visit on Sunday.  It was a beautiful church with a wonderful story of how it started as a bible study of 30 people and continued to multiply.  Driving into the parking lot and stepping into the lobby.. you immediately feel welcomed.  Things are organized, people are stationed at their booths.  There are greeters that say "Hi."  The worship team was angelic!!!!  The AV was superb.   But something didn't feel right. 

And after the pastor started preaching... and you heard some of his words here and there... you start putting one and one together.  We searched online some more afterwards to realize their lead pastor is on indefinite leave due to unforeseen circumstances.  I can't imagine how much pain this church is going through right now... this time of uncertainty... perhaps some feel betrayed??   Some feel lost?? Some feel like it's times of turmoil where we really need to lean on Christ (and not man).

I can't judge. I don't know what happened. I can only go by my feelings from being there for 1.5 hours.  Boy do we need to pray for our pastors and shepherds.  And with that... I bless my dear Pastor to find peace in his time of mourning. 

Promises Broken, Promises Kept

Ever since we watched Frozen 2 and saw the trailer to Little Women... I made a promise to NN that not only will I watch the movie with her, I will finish reading the book before watching the movie.  I tried... I really did.  I took that book wherever I went.  Carved through 1/3 of it at PCS.  But alas... I had to keep by promise by breaking my promise. 

We were at SLO this weekend and the only place showing this movie is the vintage Palm Theater situated in the original Chinatown. We lined up... old skool style... and waited for the box office to open 30 minutes before the movie started.  No advanced ticket sales.  There was one guy, sitting behind a 1.5' x 2.5' hole in the wall with a piece of glass, a circle in the middle and a little box in the bottom to exchange the money/tickets.  We ended up sharing a large popcorn and a medium Sprite (no ice). There was one popcorn machine, one fountain and the lettering on the menu were those black letters with a tab that pokes into the cushioning cream colored backing. The seats were circa 1975, designed for humans that were probably at most 5'10" at 175 lbs. 

The audience had a definite demographic - gender and age.  Overheard a few men who were there trying to figure out what was going on.  Overheard a few women giving compliments to strangers for scoring points by coming out.  As we were leaving the movie... my neighbor asked, "So does this mean she has to watch the Niners playoff game with you?"

Little does he know... I'm the one that's honored and blessed to go on this Father Daughter Date with my 囡囡豬.

Looking back at 2019...

One of my favorite posts of the year... I thoroughly enjoyed this year's Looking Back post.  This year, I wrote a whopping 183 posts.  That's an average of 15.25 posts per month, 3.5 posts per week, or 0.5 posts a day.

2019... was a special year.  To 50% of the population, it marks the end of the decade, the decade that shall be known as the Naughts or the Tens.  It's actually NOT a prime number.  It was the year we embraced the end of the Skywalker Saga. A year where I can't find a list of top 10's for the year, but a bunch of videos.  A year where our USWNT took the nation by storm while Tiger roared back and dawned another Green Jacket. A year where I can't bear to see another child's blood shed.  A year of civil unrest and protests (Foreshadowing my Looking back at the 2010's post).  A year of natural disasters (Foreshadowing my Looking back at the 2010's post). And it was the year that we saw an impeachment. 

That was for the world... but as for me... here is my top 10 for 2019.  Starting selfishly with the Honorable Mentions - surely there will be, with 183 posts!!!

1. 溫婉嫻靜 - my Nui Nui Ju... as penned by her Chinese School teacher.  No compliments have come close to shadowing these four characters that I can't even fully comprehend. 
2. Nui nui woes - my heart aches as I type this knowing that it'll get worse before it gets better. 
3. Awana - 4 months into the program... I can barely recite one bible verse.  Both kids have it rolling off their tongues. 
4. Summer Nomads - week after week, we took the kids to a new camp.  They found new friends. Their normal...as simply chaos.  And in the midst of all that chaos... we had that one day at Lucky's where we had a beautiful scavenger hunt.

And without further ado... in reverse order....

1. Let's Proclaim 2.0 - yet, another 10 weeks of leading kids to question their faith and ultimately give a speech about why they believe in Christ. And I'm still at awe of how I was able to lead that one boy and teach him public speaking... in Mandarin.
2. Reconnecting 2019 - a promise I made to {{someone}} where I reconnected with the Fab-5, Nancy and my Coach.  I originally set out to reconnect with my ex'es... but in the end.... some hatchets are probably better left buried. 
3. LEAD Summit - Luminate.  Elevate.  Activate. Duplicate.  "Conversion comes after discipleship."  To be a pioneer of this effort... with zero experience... with even less expectations... in the end... it was my standout SJCAC moment of the year.  
4. Bed Bugs - "Good night.  Sleep tight."  OMG... Just when we thought we cleaned and tossed everything... Just when the exterminators nuked the house... Just when we thought we can buy everything we can buy...   
5. Project 21 - Of the 21 things... I may have accomplished 2-3 of them? And when I apologized to NN for not helping her accomplish her goal (running a 10 minute mile) and me failing on my 21 projects... she gladly offered up, "That's ok Bah-B, we can do it before the end of the SCHOOL year!"  BOOM... just extended Project 21 for 5 more months.
6. Family Fads - we come about 5 years late to these these fads, but boy did it transform our family.  
1. Beyblades - SW was so addicted, focused and dedicated, he designed multiple blades out of Lego, to a point where his blades were able to transform with just a few touches, so he can make instant upgrades.  He'll wake up and start tinkering.  Come home from school and modify it.  He'll spend hours designing, testing and enhancing his blades.  The opportunity finally presented itself culminating in our recent succumbing / spoiling of the starter kit... followed by a half dozen new blades for Christmas.  Rarely does a day go by where you don't hear "Let it RIP!!!!!!!!!!!" 
2. Pokemon Cards - SW got his first set of cards 2 years ago, not cuz he knew what they were, but because everyone else in school had it. 2 years later... we dive head first into the game.  And then the game exploded when we got the Costco expansion decks.  And started reading the graphic novel and watching the show on Netflix.  To this day, we still don't know how to play the game the real way... *shrug*
3. Pokemon Go - What started as a treat during a half-day resulted in days and nights where I Uber my family around looking for raids, gyms and poke-balls.  Mo liu?? Yes... very much so.  And these mo-liu moments will last forever in our family's memories.
7. The Shaw-HANK Redemption and Kintsugi - ever crawl through 5 football fields of sh!t smelling foulness? Ever repair the unrepairable? (Looking up to the heavens...and still wondering...)
8. PCS 2019 - haven't written a post about this yet.  The two biggest things out of this experience... is 1) I need to repair my relationship with mom and 2).....
9. Transformation Continues - A year where she led worship with me at Prayer Meeting... a year where she sacrificed her body (literally) for her daughter at camp... a year where she stepped into the hidden spotlight of translating a sermon... this was yet another year where I find myself in love, more than ever, with my wife.  
10. "Where dreams come true" - By itself... it already stood on the Mt. Rushmore of 2019.  But it came as a pair... how can the mouse ears not rule the year? A year where we not only go on a Disney Cruise, we also visit the "Most Magical Place on Earth."  In all honesty... I'm not a fan of either of these trips.  But when the love of your life has her dreams fulfilled.... and the kids echo saying "best vacation ever", you can only smile... nod... and not look back...