Performance Review

Been asked to write performance reviews for a dozen colleagues. This is the first time I had so many to do. The first guy easily got all my attention, my diction and my praise. By the time I got to #12, I was seriously running out of things to say. A few of my buddies told me they recycle their writeups from previous years. That probably helps a whole lot - but doesn't that water down the genuinity of the appraisal? I hate to compromise anyone's performance due to my laziness. How much will my time spent on these writeups affect their compensation?


Mood: exhausted

Why was it ever a tough decision?

Last night, I was VPN-ing when Nui-nui started crying for no apparent reason. I ignored it for about 15 minutes, hoping she'll calm down and go back to sleep so I can get some work done. I got really annoyed when it continued and continued. Then it hit me.

I'm choosing to do work over holding my own daughter? How many more years do I have where I can actually hold my daughter in my own arms? And I'm about to give that up so I can work on some crap that isn't gonna get done anyways?

Come to think of it....why was it ever a tough decision to begin with?

Mood: disgraced

Inevitable

Nui-Nui has been exhibiting small signs of rebellion. She doesn't like to be held at times. And she fights off when we push her hand from her mouth. A very poignant moment in the Leung's household last night when Joyce lovingly whispered "Nui-nui...don't grow up so fast. Don't stop being my little baby."

How I dread the day she goes off to college... the day she walks down the aisle... the day she gets sworn in as the first Asian president of the United States.

Mood: dreadful

The back wave of the Yangtze

With a blink of an eye, it's already been 5 years since I started BSF. When I started, my first impression was, "Geez... everyone here is either retired, have grandkids, or retired with grandkids." I was easily one of the youngest in the entire class. Five years later, all these young college kids are creeping up and I'm the old hogie.

Mood: seasoned

Stay Away!!

Never call me on a Monday morning after the Niners lose. I will bite your head off and spit out your skull to be used as a car ornament!

Well, you can call me... just don't tick me off. Just don't lie to me. Just don't blame your incompetence on "lapse in communication."

I apologized to the guy... but who will apoloize to me for the Niners going from 3-0 to 2-1?

Mood: unstable

That was never suppose to happen...

I feel exhausted, numb. I can't breathe. I'm weak in all my limbs. I can feel my heart slowing down and down and down. All of a sudden, my bones weigh heavier than I can bear. All of a sudden the world is a deep dark hole. No one deserves to feel this pain. No one. Man was not created to bear this burden.

That ball was never suppose to have left his hands.
That ball was never supposed to have been caught.
That toe was never suppose to have touched the ground.
That victory was never suppose to go to them.
That 40 year old man was never suppose to do it to us...again and again and again.

Mood: despair

"I thirst"

"I thirst." Famous words whispered as my Savior was about to breathe his last on the cross. Just a couple of years ago... my Savior also said to a Samaritan woman, "whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again."

Jesus bore our sins, the world's sins, past, present and future. To a point where He was separated and forsaken by God the Father. "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" To a point where even his own living water has run dry. That's how far He went to save us.

Salvation is free - but not cheap. How much more do you love Jesus for what He's done for you? Have you accepted Jesus as your Savior yet? If not - then let this be the day...

Mood: blessed

First drops of rain...

Summer is officially gone and the sky is mourning by shedding teardrops of rain. There's nothing sweeter than the scent of the first rain of the fall. I love God's creation. I really do.

Mood: in love

The streak is over

After more than 8 years of avoiding the COPS, I finally got pulled over yesterday. Not for speeding, not for running a red, not for rolling past a stop-sign, not for changing lanes without signaling. All those things I may (or may not) have committed in my brief history on the road could not taint my record. I was pulled over for not having a front license plate. Luckily, it's an INFRACTION and not a MISDEMEANOR. The difference? Other than the latter being impossible to spell, is about $50-100. Just needa get this fixed, have some law enforcer sign a form and send it into the courthouse.

After yesterday morning's fateful encounter, I can't help by want to take pictures of all the cars that pass by without a front license plate, the sleek 330, the powerful Vettes, the agile S2000, and send all those pics to that same officer. Making him hand out tickets to everyone.

Hey man... when I go down, I'm taking someone with me. How righteous is that?

Mood: vengeful

The corner grocery store

Moving into suburbia, you lose the perk of having a local grocer in exchange for supermarket chains that require at least 5 minutes of driving. Luckily, I still have one of those mom-n-pop stores around the corner. It's a Persian grocery store so imagine an "Anglo", if you may, walking into Ranch 99. They're initally overwhelmed by all the foreign brands and the aquarium at the back. But after some exploration, the "Anglo" discovers all these treasures. Similarly, I'm finding out all these different types of food, beverages and spices that are sooooooooo exotic, I don't even dare to try them.

Nonetheless, anytime I've needed some ginger for my fish, or had a sudden craving for some white fuzzy peach I can always walk down my street and find that treasure lying at the end of the rainbow; my little corner grocery store.

Mood: blessed

"It's only a dollar..."

So there's a local sandwich place (which shall remain unnamed). I enjoy going here because they seem to be clean, they make semi-good wiches and it's relatively cheap when I go with my wife. We share a large sandwich with chips and a drink for under $10.

Thie other day I go by myself and order a regular. And for some reason, they charge me the price of a large. I didn't realize this until after I got back to the office. So afterwork, I went to get my dollar back. When I was pleading my case, one of the dudes whispered loud enough for me to hear, "It's only a dollar..."

I soooooooo wanted to scream at him, "YOU WANNA PAY THAT DOLLAR FOR ME?!?!"

I mean... c'mon!! If you guys are scamming people, a dollar here and a dollar there, the pot starts adding up! And it's not a matter of money - it's a matter of principles.

Mood: miffed