Say something positive... please??

Was walking the streets of SF by mom and dad's homes when I saw a bunch of kids in jerseys coming out from the JCC.  From the looks of things... a boys basketball event just ended.  And as I'm pacing behind this Asian family... the dad wouldn't stop giving the poor kid pointers.  Telling him if someone goes one way... you go the other way!  The kicker is... the mom, who was pushing a stroller, also chimed in with her two cents.  All the while... the poor kid looked on the ground and took it all.  

Gwarsh I hope that's not a reflection of me.  

Back at it...

The past 6 months have been craaaaaazy.... from moving, to the holidays, to basketball... till now.  I'm back at it. I finally get a chance to spend two hours shopping... and then all of Saturday night cooking for mom and dad.  五餸一湯.  Mom will love it and cherish it.  Dad will push it back... just like I push back all the food he gives me.  So be it... it's the least I can do.  

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

End of the Season pizza party and we handed out awards to the girls.  NN was legitimately surprised when she got the Pride, Hustle and Desire (PhD) award - as voted by her teammates.  It wasn't a landslide... in fact... it was down to one vote. But it was well and much deserved.  To my disappointment, she did not win MVP... and based on stats and skills... it deservedly went to the Shark.  The Shark is gifted.  She is great.  When I asked the team to vote one person to shoot a free throw to end practice early... they all voted for the Shark.  She missed... barely... and they ended up running 7 more laps. But she is not a team player... nor a leader.  I don't think the girls realized that.  Some day.

Then as we were ready to wrap up... NN gets up and says, "Wait... wait.... wait.... we got one more award." I honestly thought I was going to hand the award out... but turns out, NN represented her team and presented to Coach Mike his signed basketball trophy along with a well thought out... deeply moving speech.  NN said she winged it.  She wasn't even prepared for it... until her teammates egged her on.  No... she is not the MVP... but she made her old man proud today (as she does every day). 

Selfish Desires

Snuck out early to pick up NN from volleyball practice and woe is me... watching them play.. my muscles and cells started twitching.  Ohhhh how I wanted in on some action.  Been so long since I've played.  I sorta kinda regret not volunteering to coach again.  Especially after finding out that there were too many players and not enough teams - which resulted in some of the girls being cut from a supposedly no cut situation.  

Got home and with Daylight Savings with the light out... NN asked if we can pepper a little.  "HECK YEAH!!", I said.  Ended up spending 45 minutes in the driveway working on some basics and fundamentals.  We used a speed bump as the net and I started drilling her.  Positioning. Using her legs. Move smart, not fast.  And lastly.... keep the ball off the net.  

I actually amazed myself with how accurate I still set.  Whether there was a net or not... in whatever position I'm in... my sets always ended up in the same spots.  Heh... you can take the man out of volleyball, but you can't take volleyball out of the man. 

Withdrawals... the worst kind

After 10 weeks of coaching basketball... I found myself lost today.  I was jones-ing to head back to school... to see my girls... to make them run laps... to hear them complain.  What I ended up getting was an empty basketball court.  Just the swirling plastic bag chasing the ghost of yesterday-year.  Not one soul to be seen or heard.  I was fighting a major bout of withdrawals. But from a distance... I heard sneakers squeaking.  I heard balls bouncing.  I heard whistles blowing.  I heard coaches yelling.

I was drawn to the main gym...where I saw the girl's volleyball tryouts.  Over 50 girls trying out.  You can automatically see they were separated by height, possibly by grade. That's one way of doing it... have the tall, medium, short separated out.  Then you determine the three skill levels within the three heights... and BAM... three teams!!  

At the end of try out day 1... NN was complaining.  She said, without even checking out her skills, she was put into Team C.  She hated it.  She hated the fact the tall girls hogged the balls.  She hated the fact that they're more aggressive and can show case themselves.  She hated the fact that she was following the rules... playing her zone... but when someone crashes into her zone... they get kudos, "Good hustle!" Most of all... she hates being on Team C.  

Sure... she's a bit more athletic than some.  But realistically... she has next to zero volleyball skills.  And here she is complaining that she's being overlooked.  

Seriously... if you want to be noticed and get picked... go practice with me.  Don't lie around on the couch and text all day.  You may have talent and skills... but those will get you NO WHERE in life.  If you don't work on it.. .you don't refine it... you don't build on it... then you're just handing Team A and Team B positions to those who hustle.  

And that's the bottom line.... cuz Stone Cold says so.... 

Still swallowing...

Been two whole days... and I'm still mulling over how that game ended.  Shoulda drawn a play where they tossed it in... so we can put up a jumpshot! So stupid!! At least get the ball in the air!! Over and over again, I'm re-running that scenario.  Shoulda called a 2nd timeout.  Shoulda had Ray in bound the ball.. she's a better passer.  Shoulda coached Eve to do a fake or two.  Shoulda... woulda... coulda..... ugh...

Then tonight... on Twitter, there was a tweet of a JH girl who shot her first basket... then ran to give her dad a hug.  Dad ran onto the court and play stopped.  Beautiful.  Absolutely beautiful.  Except... y'know what??? That was the exact play I should've drawn up!!! UGH!!!!!

I can't swallow it even if I wanted to...the universe won't let me!! 

Tough Pill to Swallow

Final score: 16 to 17.  

With 2:45 left in the game... up 16 to 15... I made the one speech I prepared all season, "They may out-dribble us.  They may out-rebound us.  They may even out-shoot us.  But they will NEVER, EVER, out run us.  The 17's... the liners... that's what we've trained for.  Now let's go get them!!" But at this level... basketball is a game of height.  They were simply too tall for us.  Not sure what the final numbers are... but I'm sure they outrebounded us 2:1.   And with their height... they were finally able to throw one up that hit the bottom of the net.  

I'm kicking myself.  I got out-coached.  I was inexperienced.

Last night... I was watching some game footage and thinking, "What if they run a full-court press??"  Then I shook that off and didn't think of a play to counter it.  And that's exactly what they did.  They nullified us in the last 3 minutes of each half.   

Odds were stacked against us.  My starting guard injured herself last week and wasn't able to play.  My "6th man" had a dentist appointment that she couldn't swap.  My 11th player injured her finger... not that it hurts us too much, but we could've needed the legs to sub in tired bodies. 

Throughout the week... I thought about running a play called "Snorlax" where we would rain down threes and whatever goes, goes.  But when it came down to the final two seconds... we were down by one and had the inbound... I couldn't think of what to do and just went with boring old Box-2, crowding the key.  

We practiced this exact scenario yesterday - pivot and shoot.  

We practiced this during warm-ups.

And I choked. I choked. My bad.  Myyyyyyy.... baaaaaaad.

Kicking myself... why didn't I draw up a new play???  Why didn't I call timeout again after seeing them set up their defense???  I could've opened up the court to at least get the pass in and launch hail mary. You can't win... if you don't score.  You don't score... if you don't shoot.  Basketball 101.  

I failed... I failed as a coach.  That was on me... to draw up the final play of a game, like in the movies, so a girl can hit the game winning shot and we walk off like champions. But today... we walk off having won zero games this season.  

There were some bright spots though.... 

I purposely named the starting 5, five players that never started.  All of our games, we always go with our "First Five" - aka the five best players.  But when I named the starting 5 being the "Second Five", they got so excited and so nervous.  What made it better.... our "First Five" clapped and was so happy for them.  

I got them to wipe their soles with their hands.  When I told them to do it during warmups... I got a lot of tweenage comments and complaints.  But halfway through the game... when NN slipped and fell and we called a timeout... first thing I said, "Clean your shoes!" and they all did it without questioning. 

There is a player who is soooo stoic.. soooo insouciant... sooo lethargic... you almost wonder if you is even awake.  Turns out... she really, really didn't want to be there today.  Every time NN passed her the ball... the ball goes right back to NN.  I pulled her due to her apathy.  But I had to put her in cuz we were running on fumes.  And in the 4th quarter... she came alive.  Her hands were flailing wildly.  She was sprinting up and down the court.  She had that look in her eye.  Today... we transformed a life.

And finally... NN.  All season long... she's been wanting to have a fast break and hit a lay-up.  There were several chances today... and after 8 long weeks... she finally did it.  She said she wanted to cry when that happened.  

Blood.  Sweat.  Tears.  That's how we came together.  That's why we stay together.

This is a gonna be a tough pill to swallow for me.... just cuz it came so close. 

Like a house of cards

NN is strong... she is sure of herself.  She is an overachiever that knows..by hard work.. she can accomplish anything.  But there are some things that are simply out of our control.  We're not tall enough.  We're not big enough.  I can't control my male patterned baldness. We're simply not made to be like the next person.  

Such as the case last night... when SW unassumingly made a comment... "Wow... you have a lot of pimples." 

This isn't something NN can control. She spent the rest of the night mulling over that comment.  To a point where I was trying to put her to sleep... and she got up and hid in the bathroom for infinity.  Who knows what she was doing in there...or what she was going through.

When she came back into bed... she was balling.  "I tried everything. I clean my face. I wash my bed sheets. I can't help it!!!"  She was devastated. As strong as she is... she crumbled like a house of cards. To a point where I had to wake SW up... go over to NN's bed... and have him apologize.  He doesn't know any better.  He's just stating the obvious. But words hurt. Especially for a tweenager that can't wait to rid herself of this curse of pimples and zits.

I tried consoling her by sharing my experience.  Including the dreaded pimple on the tip of your nose.  Worse yet... is the time when there's a pimple on top of a pimple.  Double whammy. There was nothing I can say that could right the wrong.  And with the crumbled house of cards... we start rebuilding. 

Affection is learned

Recently... I've noticed that whenever I try to hug SW... his return hug would be a "man hug", where he would wrap you around the body...and tap you on the back three times. "Tap. Tap. Tap."  

While that's a legitimate hug... that is not gonna fly in the Leung family.  No. When we give hugs... they're bear hugs.  You go all in.  And you squeeze the other person like it's the last hug you'll give/receive on the face of this earth.

The last couple of days... I made it a point to give SW hugs.  Not just any hugs...but affectionate, bear hugs where I won't let go until he reciprocates. There is no shame in displaying affection. Especially to those whom you love. 

The Talk

You can dread it... but alas... it's ultimately YOUR responsibility to have The Talk with your children.  And that's what we did with NN today.

By the grace of God... we were prepped earlier this week by a talk on how to engage your child on Sex and Relationships.  Talk to them, like they're adults.  Don't say "wee-wee", say "penis."  Don't say "pussy", say "vagina."  Your child will think they know EVERYTHING.  But as we realized... as we learned on our wedding night (and many more nights after)... we actually know NOTHING.  

We had one of the tightest, closest, most spirit-filled conversation EVER.  And I look forward to many more. 

It's not what you say... it's how you say it.

Today was our best chance and possibly only chance at securing a Win.  We were up 3-0, and within an instant, it became 3-4.  The opposing team never looked back.  

We had more skills.  We had better plays.  On average, we had better players. But sometimes, you run across a team that's stacked with Shaq, Yao Ming, and Shawn Bradley.  They simply had more height and reach than us.  We weren't as sloppy as the last couple of games... but that could be because their defense wasn't to that level yet. 

NN missed 3 layups... she missed 3 free throws.  Can't fault her alone... but those were "gimmies" that would've altered the game.  So frustrating when you see the players dribbling and looking down at their feet.  Equally as frustrating is when we had some transitions with a player clearly ahead of the pack... but the ball handler hogged the ball and gave away a perfect scoring opportunity. Nobody moves. Everyone stands there expecting the ball to come to them...that hardly ever works.

The worst part of it... was when the opposing team had a player, clearly a newb... shoot free throws underhanded.  Thankfully everyone was wearing masks...but you can tell from body language and hear the snickers and laughter.  That is so unsportsmanlike. So rude. So.... non-TKA.  My heart sank out of disappointment.  We're better than that.  It didn't matter if we won or loss... that stained everything.

I took this loss just as, if not harder, than the girls.  I couldn't contain my emotions all night.  Tried my best to suppress my feelings... until NN came into the room and we talked through the game like we normally do.  She too, was angry at herself... frustrated with the outcome.  But when she started complaining about this and that... and complained about too much playing time... I lost it.  I asked her, straight up, "Do you want to play?? Do you want to win??" 

It's not what I said... it's how I said it.  The night was over.