白頭人送黑頭人

Fewer pains can compare to a parent being at their own child's funeral.  And today... one of our family members held a memorial service for their 21 year old baby.

Matthew... or 信信, as he was better known.

I didn't know him well.  His parents weren't exactly in my circle of friends.  He went through Children's Ministry a little before I started serving.  And for some reason or another... he flew under the radar.  Matthew was Roy and Joyce's ring bearer... partially because Carisa was Joyce's "mentor."  But aside from that... I really didn't notice him.

Several memories do stand out though... 

The first one must've occurred 10-15 years ago.  I was pretty new to church and one Wednesday night, I found myself serving at Kids Prayer Club.  That night, we shared with the kids the origins of Halloween... and why we choose not to celebrate it.  We proceeded to make salvation bracelets and then Auntie Kin and I took turns blessing each of the children.  I didn't think much of it... until Auntie Kin forwarded me an email from a parent who commented, "I don't know who led KPC last night... but it really made a breakthrough  He's made salvation bracelets before, but after KPC, he was committed to not celebrate Halloween."  Auntie Kin told me... this is why we do, what we do.  That parent... was Matthew's dad.

Flash forward 10-15 years... and I'm organizing church's Chinese New Year celebration.  We held a carnival at church, with Night Market, Bounce House, carnival game and prizes... and a craft booth where you make butterflies out of red envelopes.  I was asking for volunteers to help lead that booth... and no one signed up.  No one... until Matthew showed up to help.  I looked at him for a good 3 seconds thinking... wow.... this teenager is willing to do a crafts booth?!?!?

At the memorial service today... the most moving speech was definitely when Samantha, his older sister, shared her memories about him.  About their fights.  Their sneaking around for snacks.  Their bike rides at the crack of dawn.  Their moments of sitting and not having to talk.  Ohhhh... how I wish I had a bigger sister that looked out for me.

At the end of the memorial service... we had a chance to survey Matthew's portfolio.  He had some amazing drawing, sketches and projects.  In particular... was a painting of a couple in front of Notre Dame that he painted as a birthday present.  And the other... was a plastic bin of Beyblades. I almost lost it.... 

Matthew Edison Lau.  you are now in the bosom of our Lord and Savior.  Your time on earth was difficult.  It was hard.  But... you left in indelible mark in all of us.  Till we meet again.... 

Get my money's worth…

One of the happiest moments in my life... was getting an All You Can Drink coffee mug at Great Wolf Lodge.  And in those 3 days... I drank to my blood was full of coffee.  But I got my money's worth!! And for this... I will get my money's worth too!! 

Top Gun: Maverick

First time since... forever... I took mom to a movie after brunch at Mel's.  We've taken her to watch animated features with the kids... especially on Christmas Day when there's nothing to do. This time... we picked a PG-13 movie.  But it's the perfect one.  Mom's criteria for movies... 冇色情.冇暴力. I use to "tsk-tsk" her for saying that.  But at my age... I agree. I just want a feel good movie that offers a few laughs. 

Mom loved it.  She was giddy about the new seats with the lazy-boy settings.  During the commercials and previews... she said, "The silver screen is very different." (compared to her iPad or 21" monitor). At the end of the movie... she gave her Roger Ebert stamp of approval "好睇."  

The Spectrum

Kicked off my annual Missions trip... a stint in Children's Ministry serving Kids Church.  I say Missions trip because this is totally against my nature. It's against my being. But I do it out of obedience... not out of passion. 

Of particular... was one child whose mom stuck with him.  Immediately.. I knew he was of special needs.  His mom had a little fidget device to help him focus (or distract).  Every now and then... he'll have random outbursts. His mom will use mechanisms like "On 3, you'll sit down... 3...2....1...." She stuck by him for the entire hour.  Always working. Always on edge. Always... always, always, always.

Toward the end of Kids Church, she came up to me... (for whatever reason) and said, her son is on the spectrum.  10 years ago... no one would've known what that meant.  How far we've come.  

I did not judge her. I did not judge her son. I simply smiled behind my mask and nodded.  She didn't need to explain or ask for a pardon.  It's all understood. 

And then... my Missions trip got bigger.  I told her... "Mom... how about next week... you leave your son to me.  I will watch him and take care of him.  You go to worship and enjoy the Lord's presence."  

She was so happy. So ecstatic.  She said... "If he's bad, tell him you'll call momma and we'll go home.  I'll give you the fidget device. I'll give you other tools to use." 

And I said, "Mom... it'll be alright.  Your son... will be alright."  

To which... I believe she had a smile behind her mask. 

(to be continued)

1-E-and-ah-2-E-and-ah....

After two measly drum lessons... Chris invited me to take part in CS Worship practice.  I had a great time sitting there observing and learning.  Then at the very last moment... Chris wanted to do one more song... but me on the drums.  I was appalled. Taken aback. I have zero training. I only have 2 lessons under my belt. I can barely play the most basic of drum patterns.  I started with a shake... then accepted the invitation.  

That's what it's all about. To be in a family where they won't judge me. To be in the midst of experts who will mentor me. To be part of a worship team... who's sole purpose is to worship Him.

Social Etiquette

The past few months... I've been helping one of our church sister's with applying for low-income housing.  Not to overshare here... but this sister is definitely in need of a professional worker - not someone like me.  But... in this geo-political-economy... those walking saints are as rare as a Buffalo Nickel.  

I've learned so much during these days.  In time of a need... I turn to my parents for help (heh...).  And cuz they have more experience in this arena.  Dad coins it as... "僧多粥少."  Out of desperation.. I started randomly calling and applying to any place that advertised "senior housing" or "low-income housing."  Along the way... I met some angels of my own... giving me advice and hints of what to do.  As I'm filling out these forms... and making these phone calls... I can't help but pry into someone's private life.  Their birthday.  Their social security number. Their income.  Their bank accounts.  There's a certain level of vulnerability that is revealed... and a certain level of trust that is established.

But this level of trust is fuzzy... is confusing.  To a point where... I get 4-5 calls a day.  Some of these calls are simply asking, "Did you receive my text?"  On the worst day of the year... when I was tired... frustrated... sleep deprived... and I got a late night call... I had to sternly but gracefully lay down the law.  "Let's talk about it tomorrow."  Only to receive a call at 6:30AM.... and I was trying to sleep in.  "XXXX... can you not call me so early??"  

On the other end of the line... I hear sobbing.  Crying.  Defeated, then I ask, "How can I help you?"  To get a response of... "Nevermind." (Hung up)

What to do... what to do....??

不眠不休

Attended Siu Wah's Robotics Club Warehouse Competition yesterday.  After two weeks of Beginner's Robotics Camp... it was the final competition.  

I'm so proud of him.  He's shown so much grit and tenacity. He looks forward to going to camp.  He comes home and tells us about his code or his manipulator and chassis.  He was sad when he missed camp cuz of a doctor's appointment. He skipped the Warriors parade (thankfully) cuz he didn't want to miss any coding time.

Then on the last day... he wanted to get to camp early.  He said... none of his friends ate lunch.  They worked. None of them took their snack break.  They worked. 

On second thought... should I be proud??? Or scared that Silicon Valley is already getting its grip around their innocent little necks???? 

Roe v Wade

Never in my lifetime did I expect Roe v Wade to be overturned.  Never say never.

It was 5th grade when I was first introduced to abortion.  Sr. Celine told us about it.  Then showed us pictures of dead babies... body parts.  It made a lasting impression on how Catholics view abortion and I was a stalwart Pro-Lifer.

Then in high school... in the midst of liberal, public San Francisco education... I learned that my family members had abortions.  I clearly remember having that discussion with dad... where I said, "The baby is innocent."  And his response was, "Some times... you don't have a choice." 

Then in college... I was surrounded by more progressive thinkers and it was all about human rights and the right to choose. In English 114... one of our "essays" was to write to our congress-person stating our stance.  Our professor was clear in his direction... "You are Pro-Life or Pro-Choice.  I don't think there's anyone that's Pro-Abortion."  

And that's been my stance... my struggle.  This is about a woman's choice.  Her body.  As odd or as unfair as it sounds... it truly is a woman's body.  Do we take away the ability for her to make a choice?? Does the government have that right??  Does the government have the right to enforce... safety belts? It's my body.  Or to wear mask... it's my body.  Does the government allow one to self-mutilate? Or to put it more kindly... what if I wanted a tattoo? Or wanted to amputate my own arm? It's my body.  The arguments are endless. 

Well... to be clear... today...the Supreme Court did not take away any rights.  It merely says the Federal Government will leave it to the State Government to enforce. The SCOTUS has done that on numerous occasions - right, wrong, or indifferent. 

As a Christian... isn't that one of the most revered, sacred gifts we have... the grace to "choose."  We aren't robots.  We don't have to believe.  We don't have to follow.  We're given the choice.  And if God gave us the ability to choose....... 

(to be continued....)

Unintentional IT Support Comedy

All those years of IT support with mom has prepared me for this.  I was doing IT support over the phone with a tech-newbie..  I spent almost 10 minutes telling someone to hit the Home button on her iPad. I was having an impossible time describing how to hit that button - blind.  Then I tried to facetime or video call her... and she didn't know how to flip the phone's camera. She was at a point of yelling at me when she could NOT find the "circle" or the button.  Adamant that one doesn't exist.  It got to a point where I was making zero progress... I gave up.  We'll do it Sunday.  Bring your iPad to church.  Oh my... 

Warriors Championship Parade

This can only happen once in a lifetime... but amazingly... it's happened 4x for the Warriors and 3x for the Giants. (When will the Niners get theirs?!?!?!)

Surprisingly... NN agreed to go out to the city with me and hang out with dad for the parade.  

I wanted it to be a perfect day... but that's exactly what it wasn't.  First off... do you take public transit (during COVID??) or drive and pay? I reserved a spot for $20.

Then it's finding a spot to hang out. We started out 2 layers deep (schucks) and ended up 5 layers deep by the time the parade started. 

Dunno what the City did or what the Warriors decided to do... but we got there at 9AM.... and stood until 12:40PM until a real float showed up. GEEZ LOUISE PUH-LEEZ!!!!  I felt so bad.... we shoulda stood at the front of the parade... so it's get in get out.  We ended up baking in the sun.  We were crowded. We sniffed marijuana and 2nd hand smoke for hours. And we endured hours of yelling and cussing.

More importantly... as we walked from our Hall of Justice parking to the parade... NN got to experience the "city."  Homelessness. Drunks. Mentally unstable. Loud traffic. They were all there.... to a point where I felt it was irresponsible to bring a teenage girl to the city.  But I aptly said... "I walked these streets all the time as a kid." And that wasn't a lie.

We missed lunch...and ended finding a hole in the wall, Chinese BBQ place in Portola Valley and we were famished.  Inhaled our food and then found a way to convince dad to let me drive him home.  That ended up being an hour detour.  It was so hard to drive in and out of the city.  And Google maps routed me through all these streets and neighborhoods I've never been.  The city is alive. 

After I got home… I regretted so many things. I regretted not bringing lawn chairs with us to sit. I regretted making NN endure what she endured. I regretted making dad stick with us for the 5 hours. And as I’m putting Nn to bed… she said “Forget the bad. Remember the good. This was a good day.”

Fathers Day 2022

A very happy Father's Day.  

The gifts was nothing of a surprise.  I picked out my Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man socks a few weeks ago.  And Joyce gave in... and got me some drum sticks. 

Got to church early and was able to help Siu Han with her iPad. 

NN, SW and the Yu's kid attended worship... as I walked in.. they "danced" to 神大愛。

I was once gifted the honor to translate the sermon... on Father's Day no less. And afterwards... Joyce even complimented me... which is as rarer than a blue moon. 

As I'm leaving church... I see an elderly gentleman at a bus stop.  He rarely comes to church cuz of his ailing health and public transit isn't comfortable.  Today... I was able to give him a ride home.

After church, we went to a filling, yummy lunch at Ming's Tasty.  Something I've been craving... but have avoided cuz of the cost.  It's hard to do business these days.

Came home after lunch and the MSG helped me nap a little. 

Around 3PM... we drove out to Thrive City. Thought about buying a Locker Room championship T-shirt... $45!!!!  Ended up taking pictures of us holding the shirt instead.  

Then headed over to dinner with dad... I was F1 racing through the streets of SF... cuz I told dad we'll be there at 5:30 and google maps said I'll be there at 5:32PM.  Grrrr... hate being late!!!

Sigh... but when we got to the pizzeria... dad said he already ate pizza for lunch, so he was gonna order spaghetti.  I didn't know.  So I offered to get Chinese instead.  Dad said... "好." But out of nowhere... SW screams, "唔好!!"  That was so unexpected.  So disrespectful.  I immediately roared at him, "What day is today?!?!?"  And he immediately started tearing up.  His teeth was chattering out of fear.  He knows he f-ed up.  

Dad quickly jumped in... told me to stop staring.  That everything is OK.  In my mind... I knew what the right thing to do was. But still... I couldn't stop myself from giving SW the Stare of Death.  Poor guy... he used all his strength to hold his tears in.  

We ended up staying.  We had a great time.  Great conversation.  And in the middle of dinner... dad lectured me in front of everyone.  "The kids... they have their own personalities. They're own thinking.  Don't hinder it with your anger.  Or they will never express it in front of you."  And I did... what I would want my son and daughter to do... I simply nodded. And accepted my father's rebuke. 

After dinner.... dad wanted to walk home.  We didn't try to stop him.  He's too free spirited.  And after a big dinner... he needed a smoke.  As for us... we drove back down home while listening to an audio book... and the entire family fell asleep. 

A wonderful... .WONDERFUL... Father's Day for me.