Misunderstood

Just found out tonight that there's been a misunderstanding.  Not just any misunderstanding... but one that's so deep, so intimate, so personal... yet... so oblivious to us. 

Four years now... it's been four years.  She thought one thing.  I thought another. 

I went back in time... I looked at history to find evidence.  And in the end... it doesn't matter.  Regardless of what the evidence says, I can't get those past four years back.  The thorn that's been lodged in this relationship for four years will forever leave a mark.  Never again, will it be the same. 

Am I glad I found out about this misunderstanding? I don't know... ignorance is bliss, right?

Makes me sick to the stomach...

Altar Boys...Altar Girls....Altar Servers

It's been years since I've stepped foot in a Catholic Church.  The last service I went to was Cathleya's baptism... and I think Nn may have just been born if not still in the womb.  The last full-up mass I remember going to was probably Chris and Mel's wedding (lo and behold...Cathleya's parents!)

A few weeks ago... Mark invited us to Gabriel's baptism.  I got there a bit early (actually...it was right on time per the invite) and the previous mass just ended.  As I stood in the baking sun waiting for the parishoners to depart so we can enter.... out streamed a marching band of neatly dressed, uniformed altar servers.  Being unbiased with agenda... they were all girls.  Each and everyone. 

A girl held the cross.  A bunch of girls followed with torches and candles.  Then a girl walked behind them holding a book.  Where were the boys?!? 

Knights of the Altar....as we referred to ourselves.  It was once a glory...and prestige...an honor to dawn the cassock and surplice.  For me, personally, I truly thought serving a priest was serving Jesus.  I genuinely felt that I was much closer to Jesus and the tabernacle....the bread and wine...than the common folks who sat in the pews. 

It's been around 18 years since the melo-dramatic departure of big bro and I from SSPP.  And throughout the years... I sometimes think back and realize... I was just a pawn in the whole chessmatch.  I was too young and naive to really have stance.  And without the passion or tendency... I didn't really fight one way or another.  It was just...the thing to do, to oppose authority.  But was it really worthed...was it really the correct thing to do? I think deep down... the answer is No...and Heck No.  I think I was mislead... misguided with my agenda misaligned.  It's not about us... it's not about this little fraternity.  It's about serving God, giving Him all the glory, and at the same time...being submissive to our ordained leaders. 

A lot has happened in 18 years.  The whole Catholic Priest sex scandal.... my own maturing and conversion to Evangelical Christianity (still can't bring myself to say I'm a protestant...HA!)... realization that tweenage girls actually are better suited for mass and serving... and the fact that nobody cares.....

If only time travel were real..... if only.....

UN-Happy Birthday!!!!

It was around 12:15AM.... I'm sitting in the living room couch reading and turning down when I hear Nui-nui's door open.  Then I see a pair of shimmering and sparkling eyes.... followed by an enormous moon-crescent grin.  "I see it..." Nui-nui whispers.... and she points with her tiny fingers at the princess bike sitting in the middle of the living room.  15 minutes into being 4 years old.... and she found her birthday present. 

Joyce was happily sleeping already...so she missed that moment.  And from that point on.... it was downhill from there. 

We both took the day off spend the day with Nn. 

But around 5:30AM.... Nn wakes up vomiting her dinner out.  It was all over her bed and her clothes.  We clean her up...and she felt good enough to down her breakfast.

So instead of San Francisco Zoo... we stay local and go to Happy Hollow.  The entire morning... the only thing Nn wanted to do was ride her new bike.  But we kept toying with her...trying to surprise her with Happy Hollow.  We finally got there and Nn was cordially surprised.  Maybe she's old enough to know it's polite to act surprise??

Her one favorite ride was broken.  I forced her onto a ride she got really scared of.  And she was tired from not sleeping well.  By 1130AM, we were done.  We left Happy Hollow and headed for lunch, but Nn fell asleep in the car.  Moments later... she threw up all over herself. 

We didn't have any extra clothes....except for one of Siu Wah's onesies.  So we cleaned her up... made her wear a onesie as a t-shirt and went to lunch. 

During lunch... before the food arrived... she made me run to the bathroom again... where she hurled all over the bathroom floor.  I ended up cleaning up the men's room bathroom floor.  Ewwwwww....... Thinking she was better, we gave her some porridge. 

We get home...Nn lies down in bed...and within minutes...she barfs all over herself again.  Emptying the porridge she just ate.  This goes on and on for about 3 more times.  We had it.... time to take her to her pediatrician.

And that's how Nn spends her 4th birthday.... drenched in her own vomit while sitting in a doctor's office.
The weird thing was...everything she threw up, she was as lively as any normal 4 year old.  So she wasn't exactly sick... she just couldn't keep down any solids.

Poor baby... she blew out the candles on her birthday cake.  But the cake went right back into the fridge.  What else does a kid look forward to other than cake???? sigh....

That night... Grandma...Grandpa...and surprisingly... Dai Bak came to visit.  I guess the night ended well on a high note.  But what an UN-Happy Birthday.

That's why I don't do Children Ministry...

I love children.  I totally respect teachers, care-givers, educators.  I see every child at our church as my own children... we are one family.  But I'm just not cut out to be a full time children ministry servant.  There was a time and there may be a time... but geez.... you give me a bunch of obnoxious brats and I will discipline them.

Hey... I've been there.  I know the joy of being class clown...to make everyone laugh to gain attention... to "have fun" on a Saturday night. Maybe on any other Saturday night.  But not when Teacher Henry has you for 30 minutes.

Driving home last night, I was wondering if the kids will complain to their parents who will complain to our administrators... And they'll dis-invite me from serving in the future.  I wonder....

Mind your own soy sauce!!

There are these unwritten rules in life... where common courtesy over-reaches into rudeness.


Don't look at my wife for more than 3 seconds. I know she's a hottie.. that's why she's my wife.

Don't add cream and sugar into my coffee.  Let me ruin my own cup of perfectly good java.

Don't pour soy sauce into my sushi dish.  When I eat sushi... I'm not dipping into soysauce, but rather a wasabi paste with a bit of soy sauce.  Ok... now if you so cordially pour a dish full of soy sauce for me... I'm left with eating "soy sauce fish...." or you just forced me to use up all the wasabi. So now I'm the one that looks rude.  C'mon....

Just a few nits....

Another one of those moments....

Last time... it was watching Nui-nui brush her teeth.... this time it was watching mommy give her a shower.  Why does it always happen in the bathroom?

As she's standing there....fighting to keep the water out of her eyes.... it suddenly hits me how tall she is now. 

And I say to her, "囡囡呀，可唔可以唔好大得咁快啊。可唔可以做我嘅小囡囡?"
She replies, "我大得咁快，因為我食好多野。我會好似你咁高！"

Can't argue there...  So I turn around and walk out...knowing full well my little princess will never be that precious child captured on my iPhone.  That's when I hear Nui-nui scream, "It's Ok Bah-Bee....  我大個咗都係你個小囡囡. 永遠都係你嘅小囡囡, Ok??"

唔知呢D係唔係安慰嘅說話，但兩行熱淚不知不覺係面上躺下。

Count your blessing... count your change Part II

So this time... I used the credit card, thinking there'll be no way there'll be a mistake!  Oh how naive I was....

At a particular Seattle based multi-franchised coffee shop... I swung by for a quick coffee and cake pop on my way up to the city.  They guy punched in the numbers, swiped my card.... but as he was handing it back to me, he readily admitted, "Oh sorry sir... I charged you for the wrong thing!  Lemme back it out." 

Well...the story goes, he caught his mistake, unlike the other lady.  But me...being in a hurry, asked, "What did you charge me for?"   "A Coffee cake."  "I'll take a coffee cake... just charge me again for the cake pop."

Wait a minute.... it was his mistake.... but here I am spending an extra $2.50?!?!? 

Rookie mistake on my part... hahaha.... Patience.  It's that one fruit of the HS that never seems to bear itself.

Count your blessings... Count your change

Went to Ranch 99 and bought a half Roast Duck. Decided to pay in cash for once. I like paying with credit card cuz it's easier on everyone.

But when I got  the change from the lady... I did some quick math in my head... Then made a quick glance at the coins. Something wasn't right.  Instead of $3.59.... I got back $3.19. Upon further study... She gave me three nickels, and 4 pennies instead of 2 quarters, a nickel and 4 pennies.

"Oh... Sorry sir."

Honest mistake??? Hrmmm... Why can't I shake the feeling that they've tried this honest mistake hundreds of times.

Call me petty... Just don't forget to count your daily blessings and ur daily change.  Or stick with plastic.

"There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things..."

"...isn't that kind of the point?"

After 9 years, the Office comes to an end. 

I remember hating the commericials for the show.  I thought the stars on the show were ugly.  The concept was stupid.  The setting was dumb. 

But a few years ago....when Nui-nui was first born... and we had Netflix and sleepless nights and days.... I decided to randomly give it a shot.  That got me hooked.  Then I caught the episodes of Pam and Jim's wedding.  Then it was over. I caught every sindicated show. I went online to watch every episode I can find.  (had to reformat a few laptops along the way... HA!!)

But I have to say...those final 3 seasons were hard to watch.  As Geoff would put it... "You'd watch it in hopes of catching that one funny moment." 

And in the end....it wasn't the funny moments that you take away.  But the tears...tears of joy.  Tears of separation.  Tears that you will never be able to find those 9 years again. 

There was nothing special about the show, really.  But as Pam puts it in her final swan-line, "There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things...isn't that kind of the point?"

A blessing in disguise

Last Saturday, a friend of from the East Coast came to California for an Awards Night Banquet.  He and I aren't really close... but we have gone through some "good times" together.  So we've bonded over the years.  He really wanted to bring his wife with him...and he received his award.  And as such, they wanted to fly their 4 month out with them.  He asked me via email if I knew of any babysitters who can watch their kid for them during the 3 hour dinner/banquet/award presentation.  I promptly said, "Yes... ME!!!!" 

So here I was....with a 4 month old.  She's on east coast time, so supposedly, she should be sleeping through the night.  Right....WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness..... she did well for the first 2 hours, but around 9PM, for no reason whatsover, she started bellowing and screaming and hollering.  Joyce tried to calm her down.  Didn't work.  All the techniques I used to quiet Nn and Sw down did NOT work.  After about 20 minutes of torture (for the entire family, and the infant), I was going to call my friend to come pick her up.  But his party ended at 10PM.  I needed to come through for my friend. "C'mon!!! I'm a professional parent!!!"

Out of desparation.... I buckled the baby into the car seat and started to swing the car seat - all 30+ pounds.  My arms ached.  My back hurt.  I was dripping in sweat.  But the only thing that mattered was.... she stopped crying!  Then slowly but surely, I laid down the car seat and started rocking her back to sleep.  She wasn't asleep, totally, but she was calm. 

Phew....... 

Around 9:50, I strapped her into my car and drove her to the Hyatt and dropped her off at my friend's hotel.  The only thing I told them was, "She woke up for a bit... I rocked her back to sleep." 

I got home.... and Joyce said, "Thank you.  Now I'm absolutely sure I do not want another one.  Good night." 

A parenting moment...

Had a wonderful and memorable parenting moment this evening... and I wasn't even involved in it.

I was watching from the hall....(more like spying)... on Nui-nui brush her teeth. There she stood, in her PJ's, on the IKEA stool, squeezing her tube of toothpaste.  Only... she squeezed a bit too hard and out squirts a blob of toothpaste dripping off and running down the side.

I could've walked up and yelled at her.  I could've gone up and cleaned it for her.  But I didn't feel like moving.  I continued observing... and I see Nn use her tooth brush to scoop up some of the overflowed gob of goop.  She carefully balances the the toothbrush on her cup of water.  Then stretches out and turns on the faucet.... and starts rinsing the mouth of the toothpaste.  Cleaning it.  Wiping it.  After the tip of the tube if spotless... she turns the faucet off.  Puts the cap back on.  And starts brushing her teeth.

She turns around.... sees me looking.... and says, "Bah-bee.  I cleaned it." 

And while wiping the tears away from my eyes... I can only say, "Good girl."

That's my girl.... she's 4.  But shes grown up now....she can clean her own mess.  And she'll even admit to it.