濕濕粹

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Being the 2nd child sucks sometimes... and being the 2nd child of a pair of cheap parents suck even more. After NN's 1st birthday... we vowed to not do another birthday party until they turned 10. For NN... she had her moment with her friends. An Escape Room... cake... song... presents. SW.... this was his year. And COVID is still lingering to a point... where we were gonna punt. Until Seth's mom asks, "Do you wanna do a joint birthday hang out?"

Birthday parties are still frowned upon. Parties with large groups of people from various bubbles are not allowed. Public places are still closed...sorta... and you won't be able to get a park or public venue without getting dirty looks.  Thank goodness Kristine thought of holding a birthday hangout after school on school grounds.

SW was so excited.... he was giddy the entire week when he found out.  We had a pinata... we had cake (individually wrapped cupcakes made by a caterer), we had candies, lots of it.  Toys. Games. Great friends. Great company.  SW... to say the least... finally had his day.  We had more people than we planned for... but Kristine.. in all her awesomeness... bought so much stuff, we coulda hosted a party for the entire school.  The way she spends for her son is jaw-dropping.  If it was us... we'd use the guest list and add 4-5 kids for margin.  She took the guest list... and multiplied it by 4-5 for margin.  

And I.... I got to organize another Amazing Race.  Heh.... and the kids were pissed.  A lot gave up.  One girl screamed, "Who does math at a party?!"  The parents loved it... "We have a new PE teacher!"  It was a little disheartening when only 2 teams played it through... and astoundingly... they were girls.  It broke my heart that no one tried to memorize 1 Cor 13 or the Preamble of the Constitution.  It was disappointing that no one got the math problem right.  But in the end... after we skipped all the "brain" competition and went with the "braun", the teams who gave up came back in. 

Couple of noteworthy moments.... when a dad said to me, "This is amazing... one of the first times we've done anything since COVID hit us a year ago."  And another moment... when SW was sitting with his friends counting their booties from the pinata.  

My baby. My little peanut.  My own flesh and blood.  I didn't think little dollar store toys and Oriental Trading junk would mean so much to a bunch of spoiled kids.  But amazingly it did.  The fact that the Heritage family can band together and form a day of joy and happiness... that was heart melting. 

The party ended.  We had a lot (A LOT) of leftover pizza...cupcakes...candy and food.  But it was allllllll good.  Cuz at the end of the day.... Siu Wah was sooooooooooooooo happy.  And when Siu Wah is happy.  Well... that makes mom and dad happy.

And tomorrow.... he will officially turn 10.  

Haiku

Once every decade

Decide to host a party

Best time of our lives

When the Impossible is Possible

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Buy one get one for $1.  You can't pass up a good deal... and I've been craving Burger King for a while.  Happened to be at work today.. so I pulled into the drive through to get my fix.  Hmmm... what is this Impossible Whopper? Is it a new promotion they're pushing? Whatever... I got my chicken sandwich and whopper.

Ohhhhh... chicken sandwich is amazing.  Best chicken sandwich in all of fast food restaurants.  The spiciness.  The tanginess of the sauce.  The fact that it's a long oval and not a circle.  Perfection.

Then I had the whopper.  Hmm... a little different.  A bit too tasty. Wonder why they piled on the lettuce and onions.  Alas... a whopper is a whopper.  Until... I find out.... from {{a friend}}.... that the impossible whopper is.... Beyond Beef!!!!!!!!!!!!! FAKE MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haiku

It's not what it seems

Try and hide the real thing

It's impossible

Benchmarking

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Been putting the kids through a semi-structured regime lately, trying to build up their physical strength and stamina. There's something called the Presidential Test... that JFK or LBJ came up with once upon a time... that states how many pushups, sit-ups, pull ups and how fast a mile should be ran for boys and girls growing up. Both of the kids are pretty far off from the 85 percentile.  So they're not naturally gifted... nothing some nurturing won't fix.  It will take a lot of commitment though.... especially the strength building part.  Pre-puberty kids simply don't have the body to perform some of these exercises... I guess.

And then... at the end of every workout session... I have them sprint a neighborhood block.  It's a nice long strip of flat land without driveways or incoming cars.  When I measured it on google maps... it turns out the length is about 290 feet...or roughly 90 meters... just shy of the standard 100 meter dash.

SW's been averaging about 11 seconds... a couple seconds shy of his age group. NN on the other hand... is hovering around 9.5 seconds.  Putting her at the upper echelon of her group.  After a few days of them doing it.. I finally timed myself.  Geez!!! 100 meters is long.  And when you're put on the spot to run... it gets all awkward and clumsy.  You're hypersensitive about everything.  From the arm motion... to the breathing rhythm.  To the step... do you run on the balls of your feet? Take long strides? When do you burst? When do you pace?  I guess that's why they have a track coach to teach you these things.

My first run was about 10.4 seconds.  After my initial run... I turned on the jet engine and came in around 9.0 seconds.  9.0 for 90 meters.... extrapolate that out... I'm probably at 9.5 for 100 meters.  Still pretty darn good!!  What's more exciting is... NN is just half a second behind me.  

Super proud of both of them.  Let's see how long it takes for her to out-run me.  And more importantly... give her the confidence, give both of them the confidence, that if they set their mind to it and work on something... they can accomplish almost anything.  

Haiku

Tortoise and the hare

Slow and steady wins the race

Race against  yourself

FOMO

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In this day and age... when slang, euphemisms and trends go by faster than... well... the latest trend, euphemism and slang... it's easy to miss out on what the younger generation are saying. Worst yet... there's the fear of not understanding them... the fear of not communicating with them... and the fear of missing out (FOMO).

As I'm authoring the next issue of a company newsletter... I took it upon myself to get extra and on fleek.  I wanted this article to slay... and be straight fire. I highkey wait for the response I'll get... at the very least... I can stay mittens. 

Heh... I started talking like that during dinner and it made NN cringe.  Partially... cuz she says, "When a parent starts saying it, it's no longer lit." Partially... cuz she's jealous that her old man is snatched.  What bothers me the most... is the fact that the terms they think are trendy and all that... were terms we used in the 90's!! This generation... Gen Z, perhaps.. are nothing but a bunch of copy cats!! Big yikes!!

Haiku

Words are not just words

They take on a new meaning

I am old, but dope. 

Minority Church

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Today... Pastor Ted preached on the topic "Minority Church." And how historically... it was in the midst of persecution and when the Christianity became a "minority", that the church actually flourished. He cited the story of Daniel and the exile of Israel to Babylon. But he easily could have mentioned the Jews in Mosaic times. Or the invasion of the Assyrians and Chaldean empires. Or even the Romans in 60A.D. when they dashed Acts 1:8 into Acts 8:1.

Ironically... today... it was announced that our church will be undergoing some mighty change with our scheduling and ministry approach.  In some ways.. I feel like CS is on the short end of the stick.  We are now... at SJCAC... the minority.  And why is that? Well... Chinese in the Bay Area is primarily Mandarin.  So MS speaks with a much louder voice.  As much as the church is grounded in Cantonese, ES takes a strong foothold because our Children and Youth ministries are all in English.  Cantonese in modern times... is a side show.  An ornament.  A carryover from yester-year.  We are the minorities in our church.

Joyce summarized it best... part of this is our own doing.  For some reason... all the CS families are not able to retain Cantonese in our next generation.  We've all succumbed to have our kids speak English.  MS...or any of the other ethnic churches... have their kids retain their original language and identity. 

In a way... I love being the minority... the underdog.  It's times like this where I flourish. But man... to be in a position of powerlessness... that sucks!!

Haiku

Where are the Cantos

If we don't do something now

Will be left behind

Nuh-Uh-Uhhhh....

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Pet Peeve #15 - Not returning your shopping carts.

I mean... if you're a senior citizen or a mom with young children on a rainy day... fine... prop it up on those cement planters so they don't roll away.  And push it deep into the planter so you don't block a prime parking spot.  

Today at Costco... as I was turning the corner... I saw a lady joyfully push her cart and park it next to a cart that was next to a planter.  Not only was the cart a threat to roll away... it was now halfway into someone's parking spot.  I couldn't help myself.... I stared her down with my eagle eyes and shook my head.  I was wearing a cap... so the shaking was more prominent.  "Nuh-uh-uhhhh... C'mon lady!!! The parking stall is one row over!!!"  She must've seen me.... cuz she took a 180 degree turn, walked back to pick up the cart, and parked it in its rightful place of destination.  

In my parochial, legalistic, specious self... I did society some good today.  I will all asleep with a smile on my face.

Haiku
Go do what is right
Try being considerate
Walk those extra steps

Too long of a pause

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NN was oversharing today about her friend that's not doing so well in school. I asked if her friend told her parents. And she said, her dad has anger problems. I then asked... "Do I have anger problems?" She paused...

Later on... we were watching The Rookie on Disney+, a heart warming, real life story of a dad chasing his dream and also his son's dream because dad is his hero. I asked SW, "Who is your hero?"  Pause.... "Momma!"  

Hmm..... am I overthinking things? 

Haiku

The truth must be told

I have not been a good dad

Can I salvage this?

Lost and Found

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Peet Peeve #132 - Carelessly losing things.... and showing zero remorse! 

Why does it bother me so much when things are misplaced.  When the kids were younger... I would lose it and turn the house upside down (while scaring the bejeezus out of them) if they misplaced a library book.  How hard is it to keep track of your books??

Earlier tonight... NN owned up to losing the tip to her stylus. I was trying to keep my frustration in... but the fact that this stylus was bought to replace a previously lost stylus.  And it was a tiny, little tip that she unscrewed out of habit so she can play with it.  I was stunned that there was almost zero effort put into finding the tip... albeit, it's about the size of a booger.  I kept telling myself... it's only money.  Don't make a big deal out of it. I kept thinking... how would Ken and Hody handle this?  But the more I thought about it... the more frantically I searched in vain... the more worked up I got.  

Fine.  I'll buy replacement tips.  I'm sure it happens more often than not.  Only to find out... it's out of stock everywhere!! Might as well buy another stylus.  Geeeeeeez!!!  Keep your fidgety hands away from a teeny-tiny piece of thing-a-ma-bob and care about your stuff for once.  I bet if they had to pay for the replacement themselves... they'll learn that mom and dad won't always buy their way out of trouble.  

Ugggggghhhhh....

Haiku

Not about money

But it's about principle

How hard can it be?

Closure

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Back in 1996... when we first descended down Cuesta Ridge to San Luis Obispo... you'll see huge billboards of Kristin Smart, the college freshman that went missing after a college party. That sparked a Hardcopy, Unsolved Mystery, a True Crime Podcast just to name a few media venues that documented the murder case that has gone unsolved for nearly 25 years.  But today... the San Luis County sheriff held a press conference announcing the arrest of the prime suspect and his accessories.  25 years later... we might finally have closure.  This was just one year prior to my enrollment at Cal Poly... and eerily enough.. my freshman year... two more female students were mysteriously murdered, sparking a city wide alertness that continues to haunt me till today.  I really hope we can find Kristin (RIP) so the family can rest in peace. I really hope justice can be served and we can all have what we've sought after for over a quarter of a decade... closure.

Haiku

The fifth amendment

We can't simply go by feelings

Shadow of a doubt

Empty Nest

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Today officially marks the day that both kids returned to school in-person.  It was so sad to kiss them goodbye and see them off.  I knew I would miss the constant interruptions and the noise.  But I didn't realize it'll hit me this hard.... for the first time in forever... I had the house to myself since Joyce had to go into work today.  I was so despondent... I started cleaning the house... I even... dare I say... ironed my clothes.  Clothes that literally sat there for over a year since I haven't had a need to wear them.  Yes... ironing.  The chore above all chores.  I resorted to that to distract myself.  What will life be like when they go off to college?? 嗚.... 嗚.....

Haiku

Everyone is gone

House is empty and quiet

Empty Nest begins

道低一尺

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Out of anger, emotions, over-reaction... we changed NN's passcode on her iPad as part of her grounding.  But when it came time to use it for Youth or Chinese School... she didn't have a problem unlocking it.  I thought it was because we didn't lock the screen... or maybe Joyce gave her the new passcode.  Turns out... NN uses TouchID to unlock her iPad.  I'm so obsolete...geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Haiku
Try to outsmart them
They are way ahead of you
I'm a dinosaur

Memories from Yester-Year

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It's been 20 years.  And yet.. here we are again - San Luis Obispo.  The place I called home for almost 5 years of my life.  The place where I met the love of my life... found my two best friends.... and long to retire at.  Every time I come back, I pick up a different piece of me and learn more about myself.

Our first stop on this trip after checking in was going to campus. I thought that since we've done so much hiking recently, we can climb the infamous Cal Poly P.  Might as well claim this on our hiking passport.  The hike took all but 30 minutes… aye… and it costed me $5 for parking!!!  (I made it up by parking miles away and walking for the rest of this trip... #BOOM).  If not for SW needing to go poop… and we headed back to the hotel… I would’ve milked that $5 for the rest of the day and take the kids on self-guided tours.  But standing on top of the mount – the Cal Poly P… looking at the campus… the different buildings… man… Cal Poly is a really ugly campus.  No soul.  No character.  Just years and years of different things being added on at different eras.  Yuck.  Why did I ever choose to come here????  

That first night… we were all a little tired.  So no one wanted to head out to dinner.  Ended up getting Thai food to go.  And as luck would have it… this placed wasn’t situated in downtown SLO… but all the way out in the boonies.  The path that google map took me… amazingly had me drive past Leff Street – my very first apartment.  I couldn’t help but think back of those days there.  And how amazingly situated it was…within 5 minutes waking to downtown.  And how stoopid I was… when they raised the rent on from $650 to $670. I said we’re moving!!! So stoopid!! Why didn’t anyone talk any sense into me???

 Yes… we found another place for $650.  But sheesh… the amount of time and energy needed to clean and move and to resituate was idiotic!!!  The Thai Restaurant, as it turns out, was just 2 minutes away from Bullock Lane, my 2nd apartment.  Why the heck did we move out here??? It was far, inconvenient, loud.  Sigh…. More memories came rushing back.  This was where I lived when I started dating Joyce.  The place where I invited my buds to come over for the Niners/Falcons NFC Championship game… but because Joyce and I got into a fight… I wasn’t even home to host it.  It was the place where I punched a hole in the wall.  It was the place where I got my first used PC… bought my first monitor… and spent 3 hours installing Netscape 4.32 and had my own internet.  I spent an entire summer here cuz my roommate didn’t want to stay.  That summer... changed my life. 

Then I started to head back to the hotel. Down Orcutt Drive, left on Laurel Lane and onto Johnson Ave.  I still remember driving up and down Johnson Ave that one time we got into a fight. I missed her so much but I knew she was at church on Sunday. And I wanted to find her. Not knowing which church she was at… I drove up and down Johnson Ave, trying to look for the distinguished blue Corolla.  Ha…. so stupid.  Never found her that morning.  Turns out her church wasn’t on Johnson Ave anyways.

It was amazing how Google Maps took me on those routes.  I don’t think I would’ve found those streets if not for that Thai Resturant, if not for Google Maps. Too serendipitous that it took me exactly to to the very streets where I lived.  

I can't help but re-think... what life would've been like had I gone to Cal... or more curiously... gone to UC Davis??  You can't live life like this.  But only through long drives, by yourself, with nothing... but your memories from yesteryear.  

Haiku
Didn't LOVE Cal Poly
Those years made me who I am
The place I call home

Spring Break 2021

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4/5

Upon arrival… our room wasn’t ready yet. So we headed over to Target to grab a jug of bleach. Got into the room and wiped down every last corner with disinfectant wipes. Ripped off all the linens and replaced it with the ones we were about to donate, but never made it to Goodwill. (We might do this for all future vacations, actually). Poured a quarter bottle of the bleach into the tub, turned on the water and ewwwwwwww…. It got so soapy!! The cleaning lady did NOT do a good job with scrubbing the tub. Good golly… how did we ever survive any of our previous trips??

4/6
Had Thai for dinner last night and couldn’t finish the food…. We reluctantly stashed some away in the fridge, thinking that maybe we can finish it another day. Yeah right…that never happens on vacation. But lo and behold… our hotel has a microwave at the lobby. And just as it was planned… the kids wanted Ramen to-go tonight…. Ended up getting two sides of brown rice ($3 each), and we were able to nuke our leftovers and polish off our food without wasting!! BOOM!

4/7
First couple of nights.. the kids shared a bed. Tonight… SW didn’t want to sleep with NN anymore and wanted to crash with me and Mah-mee. At around 12:30AM, after 3 round houses in the face and no signs of SW relenting, I had to get up and sneak over with NN. I even contemplated sleeping on the couch, but I took a chance that she wasn’t dreaming of a karate tournament. All night, I slept on the far edge of the bed with my hands cupped around my crotch for protection. (You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve got kicked there.) This can’t sustain. At somepoint… we either have to start sleeping on the floor… or… GASP…. Get two rooms!!!

4/8
For some reason, I have one eyebrow that’s like 3x the length of my other eyebrows. Made the decision to yank it out…. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh that hurt.

4/9
Fifth and last day of vacation… I wake up with a slight sore throat and sniffles. Uh oh… did I get something?? Baaaaahhh….

Overall… I would rate this as a below average vacation. I was 50/50 about this trip to begin with. The weather wasn’t too inviting. SLO is oddly still in the Red Tier. Wanted to go ATV-ing on the Sand Dunes but it’s closed due to COVID. Bowling? Closed. Looked into ziplining – that just reopened and it’s booked solid. Was looking for a drive-in movie!! But sadly… this weekend they replaced Raya with Godzilla and Kong. Wanted to have one meaningful hike up Bishop’s Peak but none of them were up for it. Then this morning… NN says, “This turned out to be a great vacation!! We thought we wouldn’t have anything to do. But turns out it was a lot of fun!!”

Haiku

Spring Break Vacation

Doesn't matter where you go

Family comes first

#$^%&@!

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Every time a "cuss" word comes up... the kids will naturally go "AYE" as if they're trying to bleep it out.  We've gone through 3 seasons of Fresh of the Boat... and they've been 90-95% consistent with the H-word, the D-words, the B-word, and the A-word.  That's impressive. 

I hate to take the spotlight off the show itself.  The show is amazing.  Has Joyce and me cracking up where our sides hurt.  Astonishingly the kids looooooove it.  Every single self-deprecating Asian stereotype you can think of is free game.  The producers did not shy away from sensitive topics. The actors are amazing in their own rights. I would not do it any justice by commenting on here.  Eventually... they kids will learn all these things.  I guess it's best they get exposed to it under our watch.  Not looking forward to the episode where the boys find their first Playboy on use the internet for naughty, naughty things.  Ugh....

Haiku

All stereotypes 

Take the good and take the bad

It's what makes us, us

Shame on me

COVID19 - School Closure - Day 157  School Reopens - Day 205

Was playing Super Smash Bros with SW and he was OP-ing me.... non-stop... to a point where I got mad and said, "Not playing any more.  You're too cheap." I literally scolded him for being good at a game.  SW was so shocked for being yelled at over a simple game... he started crying.  Sigh... What a massive loser I am.  Tried apologizing.  He forgave me.  But alas... I can't forgive myself.  Wearing it big time.

Haiku

Super Smash Brothers

You either win or you lose

Either way, I lost