Knowing... but still hoping

Sat at the end of the table, surrounded by 2 Directors, 1 Senior Manager and HR.

I was interviewing for a Level 6 - Sr. Manager position.  I knew I wasn't going to get it.  Managers, especially Sr. Managers, are almost always pre-selected.  I was there... just so it can satisfy "HR Rules." Or as they have it in the NFL... the Rooney Rule, where teams MUST interview at least 1 minority coach for any vacant positions.

I already knew the type of questions that were coming.  I had prepared amazing stories to tell.  I knew I impressed all of them with my achievements to date... my leadership capacity... and the energy I bring to the table.

But as I walked out of that interview room.... I knew I wasn't getting the job. 

"To even be selected is an achievement!" my current boss told me.  True.  They must've seen something on my resume to consider me a valid contestant on this interview. 

Deep down, I knew I wasn't going to get it.  But deeper down... I was hoping I can get it. 
"I more than qualify" - I think.
"Who wouldn't want to hire me?" - I imagine. 
"They'll regret the day they turn me away" - I console myself.

Sigh.....

Art of Listening

While praying with Nui-nui the other night... I suddenly had an urge to listen instead of saying the same ol' same ol'. 

And when I suddenly fell silent, halfway through our normal prayer, Nui-nui asked, "Bah-BEE.... why are you quiet?" 

I said, "Shhhh.... I'm listening to Jesus." 

After a brief moment of silence, I told Nui-nui, "Jesus wants me to thank Him for blessing us with wonderful and healthy children."

So I started praying.... but Nui-nui said, "Shhhh... I'm listening to Jesus."

I respectfully stayed silent.

Moments later, she says, "I heard Jesus say He really loves me!"

(Hmm...... test of faith.  Do I believe a 4 year old? OF COURSE I DO!!!!)

Free stuff...

There was a time when I indulged in "free" stuff available online.  I would spend hours scouring the internet for free magazine subscriptions... free samples... free mugs... free shirts, etc... 

Then I got over it.  (Phew...) 

Too much work.  Too much effort.  Too little return.

Well today... Cheesecake Factory offered me a $10 Coupon for filling out a survey.  And it wasn't so much the $10 that attracted me. But I really wanted to offer up a nice suggestion.  When we order from the kids menu.... have the decency to ask, "Would you like to serve the kids first?"  That should be Waiting Tables 101. 

After filling out the survey and getting the eCoupon for $10.... that bug inside me is woken.  Now I wanna fill out a million surveys and get a million coupons! HAHAHAHHA.... FREE FREE FREE!!! Nothing in life that's better than..........FREE!!!

Odd man out...

Was at a random yogurt place, sitting and enjoying our yogurt and I couldn't take my eyes off of another family of four sitting next to us. 

Sitting along the window on a counter were a family of four.  An older gentlemen... maybe in his 50's.  His two teenage daughters.  18 and perhaps 16.  And at the end of the counter... his wife.

Throughout the entire time.... the two daughters spoke solely to the mom.  They laffed, giggled... shared their yogurts with one another.  Even their bodies were obviously turned towards mom, leaving out poor dad.  The entire time, dad longingly looked the three women... trying, wanting, begging to be let into the conversation.  But when they didn't give him a whim of time, he went back digging into his yogurt.  After a few spoonfuls, he'll look up again at the three loves of his life... listen attentively at what they're chatting about... waiting to jump in with a comment or two... only to give up and continue with this frozen dessert.  For a good 5 minutes.... this entire scene completely mesmerized me. 

Finally, after an eternity of waiting... the dad lets out the first words of the entire night, "Let's go."  The family dutifully got up and left.

Joyce turned to me and smile... aren't you glad you have a son?  And I thought to myself... "No, aren't you glad you have a daughter."  Cuz I will NEVER be that dad....

Annual Vacation - Happiest Place on Earth

Siu Wah turns three pretty soon...so we made our final trip to Disneyland before we have to pay for 4 people. It's amazing how much detail Nn remembers from our last trip two years ago.  Down to the name of the rides... the snack she ate... and some of the corners we took!

This year, we went very cheap.  Brought our rice cooker and made dinner twice in our room, on top of making the typical macaroni/Spam breakfast.  One night it was Ranch99 Roast Duck... and another night it was Costco $4.99 chicken.  The chicken became breakfast the next day... and also became chicken sandwiches for lunch.  A well lived chicken..... for $5.


We're slowly moving into the phase of parenthood where meeting the characters matter.   I'm sure next trip... we'll be those parents with autograph books and pins and what-not.  Sigh... hopefully we can skip that phase.  Or we can talk some sense into them!!

Highlight/lowlight of the trip has gotta be the night we promised Nn we'll let her stay up for fireworks... the same night I was running a fever.  Who gets sick during vacation?!  I could've thrown in the towel...could've disappointed my daughter... could've curled up in bed while she pouted or let out one of her heartbreaking "Awwwwwwwww...."  So I sucked it up.  Pulled a Michael Jordan in Game 5 against Jazz.... and took her to fireworks anyways.  Shivering, sweating, tired, miserable.... I warned her, I wasn't going to be able to hold her.  But when the lights shut off... music blared... and the first sparkle hit the flawless night.... I found this inner strength to carry Nn in my arms for the entire 15 minute show.

SW.... he was already snoring away in our hotel room. 

Disney does it right...

During one of the parades... we stood next to a young man with Down Syndrome.  He was connected to an Oxygen Tank and could only grunt - not talk.

But for each and every float that came out.... all the main characters all made a point to make eye contact with that young man.  Minnie pointed...then mimiced the young man's dance moves.  The princesses each showered him with kisses or made "heart" signs.  A bunch of other characters walked up and gave him high-5's.  One of the drummers... he stopped, gave the man his two drum sticks and the kid beat on his drums for a good 10 seconds.  

It was a great opportunity to give Nn a lesson on life.... This young man, born and stricken with an incurable disease... he may only find one glimpse of happiness in life.  And Disney made sure he got that glimpse of happiness. 

For all the things we criticize about Disney (evil... capitalistic pigs... moneymaking scoundrels....) or praise about Disney (clean... wholesome... great marketing... amazing crowd control)... this is something Disney definitely does right.  Now...$8 for a stinken Mickey Mouse balloon... EVIL!!!!

Like father, like daughter...

During dinner today... out of the blue... my dearest daughter lets out a "whoooooo"  and starts whistling.  HA!!  Thus it begins...

Where is your "Peaceful Place?"

Two weeks of pedal to the metal... needing to get through this major design review.  Working nights... evenings... weekends.  Dropping everything else.. waking up early to get to work early.  Leaving working late... get home late.  Skipping lunch.  Barely munching dinner. 

Two full weeks of nonstop tension.  And finally.... I find peace in the bible. 

Finally... had to stop... and spend 30 minutes preparing for tonight's bible study.  And there it is... where it's always been.  My peaceful place.  In His Word. 

Thank you Jesus.

Eden Revival? Eden Survival....

After two years of stabilization... where the mini-Edenites are old enough and healthy enough to allow their parents to come to fellowship on a consistent basis... here we go again.  Another round of new borns... and perhaps another year or two of "arrive late", "leave early", "flu season - stay away!"  Haven't had that consistency... the momentum... the rhythm of a true fellowship.  Maybe that's what young couple's fellowships are about.

Then all of a sudden... we have two new families join us.  And not just family... but FAMILY!!!!

A couple who's expecting in May.  And a couple...with two kids... their mom and dad... and the wife's younger brother.  WOW!!!  Our house isn't small.... but we were out of room.   We made plenty of food... but not enough to fill that many people.

Luckily... not all the regular Edenites showed up. Otherwise, we'll really be out of space.  I love a family environment.  I love having grandma and grandpa and uncles around.  Eden Fellowship is NOT just a young couple's fellowship.  But a fellowship for families.  Yet, no matter how welcoming I try to be... we simply can not have 5-10 toddlers running around the house. 

How will we ever survive....?

Why me?

This goes wrong..that goes wrong.. the whole world is against me.  And I ask God, "Why me?"

It wasn't a voice... but I felt Him say, "Why not you?"

The dreaded phone call..

"Hello sir, this is the hospital calling.  Your mom was admitted last night...but she is fine." 

Can't say this is totally unexpected.  You just never hope the next phone call to be THE phone call.  Fortunately, it wasn't THE phone call.  But it was A phone call. 

I kinda knew everything was fine when the on-call nurse gave me her direct line.  But geez... one of these days... the ending will be different.  It's unavoidable... inevitable.  It's just a matter of time.... and how we'll react and deal with it.