Shaws-HANK 2022 Day 7

 Andy: I understand you're a man that knows how to get things.

Red: I'm known to locate certain things, from time to time.

Depending on when you start to count "1", today is Day 7.  Or is it Day 8?  Does it even matter?  

Was scheduled to take a COVID test at the Wellness Center so I can get back to work.  But when I told the lady I failed an at home test... she said don't even bother coming in.  Now... I'm cleared to go back after the 10 day period.  Again.  When do you start with "1?" 

Moving the spotlight away from me during a depressing day... we focus on New York where Nita and Brandon are suffering, but in a different way.  They're battling a vicious cough where they've gotten zero rest.  Worst yet... they don't have any meds at home.  They don't have friends or neighbors nearby.  And they're reluctant to walk to their nearest drug store.  After being on the receiving end of so many care packages... it was time to pay it forward.  

It was a simple gesture, really.  As long as you're willing to pay a little.  Got on Target.com and had them deliver some meds, Pringles and Swedish Fish to their townhouse.  The price, indeed, was a little steep.  Probably 2x what you would pay in person.  But if there was ever an instance where you can feel joy seep through Whatsapp.... it was today.  

I don't have everything up my sleeve.  But I can locate certain things from time to time.

Shaws-HANK 2020 Day 6

Parole Board: "Please, sit down. Ellis Boyd Redding, your files say you've served 40 years of a life sentence. You feel you've been rehabilitated?"

Red: "Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means."

Day 6.  Finally slept through the night - with the help of a little Nyquil.  Not like I didn't take Nyquil the first few nights, but this time... I don't have to wake up to bouts of sweat or chills.  In fact... woke up to the familiar feeling of being over-medicated and not fully flushing the meds out of my system. 

Joyce shows up with a wooooooooonderful breakfast of instant noodles.  And what's even more wonderful is an Abbott Anti-gen Rapid Test.  This is it!!! 5 days since initially testing positive. My symptoms are clear.  I slept well.  Time for a negative test so I can be free from this life sentence. 

If it took a full 10 minutes for the line to come up on the first day.... this time, it took 10 seconds.  And the line was bold. And red. And bold.  My viral load is still off the books.  

Parole? DENIED!!!

Shaws-HANK 2022 - Day 5

“Zihuatanejo. It’s a little place in Mexico on the Pacific Ocean. Do you know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory. That’s where I want to live the rest of my life — a warm place with no memory.”

Day 5 of Quaratine.... It's like I'm in trapped in a heinous experiment... where some scientist is observing me and measuring my level of joy by turning on that light at the end of the tunnel... then shutting it off.  On.  Then off.  On.  Off. 

The Giants game started at 8:35AM PDT.... a day game in the East Coast.. sunrise game for us. Had you slept in... you woulda woken up to a no-hitter through 5.  After the game ended... after ended up streaming Sunday Service... I was stuck with the rest of the day with nothing to do.  So I jokingly... (unjokingly) try to test my memory by memorizing the Greek alphabets.

15 minutes.  It took me a whole 15 minutes to do it. COVID fog? Old age?  But I did it....

Then... for whatever reason... patriotism... memorial day... I felt like memorizing the New Colossus, the poem on the dedicated to the Statue of Liberty.   24 hours later.... I still don't have it.  Is that where I'm headed? Or am I at my destination... a place where I now have no memory.

 

Shaws-HANK 2022 - Day 4

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really: Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

Day 4 of Quarantine. Fever finally broke.. I think.  I scan myself every 15 minutes to see if it'll bounce back.  Holding steady at 97.  Yes - I run cold.  Maybe I'm a reptile - cold blooded. 

The day started out with a pleasant surprise.  One of my dearest friend IM'ed me to see how I was doing.  Now I get a glimpse of what a prisoner feels like to have a visitor... even if even through a glass wall.  To have some human contact. 

Then we find out... not only does B has it... but Nita finally succumbs to it too.  Now they're both quarantined.  But at least they can be in common areas together. 

Fourth day in a row... salty food still tastes bitter.  But citrus tastes fine.  The verdict on Orange Chicken is still out. 

Had the Giants game on the radio in the afternoon to keep me company. But after the game... it was back to my lonesome self.  Trapped.  In solitary confinement. In an asylum.  Desperate for some outside connection. Every 4-5 minutes, I would check Whatsapp to see if there is a new message. And just like 4-5 minutes ago... there will be none. Of course not. People have lives. They're busy working. They're busy living. While I'm busy dying.

Shaws-HANK 2022 - Day 3

“In prison, a man’ll do most anything to keep his mind occupied.”

Popped a couple of Nyquils and Zzzzz I went... for like an hour. Then I was covered in sweat. That's what happens when you're running a temp. Your body regulates and sweats thereby cooling the body down. Which in effect, is sheer torture because I'm dizzy from the meds... burning from within... yet freezing from the outs. I've lost track of how many undershirts I've gone through. 

The day actually started out pleasant.  Spent the first 1.5 hours recapping Obi Wan with a couple of buds.  Then found out B randomly came down with COVID (misery loves company, sorry).  And then.... OMG.... and then.... it was the closing arguments in the Amber Heard / Johnny Depp trial.  All morning... I was live streaming the trial on Youtube (while drifting in and out sleep).  I really couldn't keep my eyes open due to sleep deprivation. 

When the trial was officially over and jurors were sent to deliberate... I see a long list of complaints that my team isn't supportive.  Ugh.... the last person I want to piss off and there she is, irate.  So I login and hunt down my team.  Heh.  I wonder how long it'll take for them to know the source of their tattle. Then I realized I missed an important meeting this morning.  I quickly sent a note to apologize... (no apologies needed, really). 

The lowlight of the day... was probably getting pictures of SW's 5th grade promotion Luau.  In 2020, NN's luau was cancelled cuz of COVID.  In 2022... I missed SW's luau... cuz of COVID.  As if she knew the anguish I was going through in missing this event... NN knocks on my door and delivers me lunch.  Once again, I take the lonely walk from my dresser to my desk... when my phone rings.  It's a video call from NN.  She wants to have lunch via FaceTime. 

In the middle of the day... Joyce took the kids out to run some errands... so I snuck out of the room and walked around the house.  Goodness gracious, the house is a mess.  Books and clothes everywhere.  Homework and projects all over the place. Dishes overspilling the sink.  Garbage can is at its brim.  Then I peek inside SW's room and see that there's a camping mat on the floor.  Turns out all three of them have been sleeping in the same room together.  (Awwwww).  I guess in times of trouble and questions... you really do need some sort of reassurance and guarantee that you're not alone.  

Rest of the day was a haze.  I got so bored I started looking for random podcasts to listen to... a man'll do just about anything to keep his mind occupied.  I remember drifting in and out of consciousness.  At one point, I could've sworn I was on vacation on the Galapagos Island.  

Because I did absolutely nothing today... and because I "slept" throughout the day... I started to go to sleep at 8:30PM.  It's 12:30AM... and I'm still wide awake. 

Shaws-HANK 2022 - Day 2

“These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.”

Day 2 of quarantining. When you're held in a confide space against your will... every time you look up, the walls seem to inch closer and move in tighter.  I'm "locked" in a master bedroom suite in the Silicon Valley... I'm going stir-crazy.  It's indescribable how much hope and excitement I felt when I rolled up my blinds and opened the window for some fresh air.  No, I wasn't outside, but outside came within. 

My body continued to struggle... like Jordan in the 1998 Flu Game. Calling into all these meetings.. no one will know how I'm physically struggling.  But after every call ended... my body collapsed.  

My meals were delivered to me like a prisoner.  Joyce would open the door... leave a dish by the dresser... take the used plates and walk out.  I will happily go grab the dish.  But those 4-5 steps from picking up the plate to sitting down at my desk... is the loneliest walk known to man.  Yes, it's a warm meal... but it might as well be Lean Cuisine without being nuked... if I'm to eat another meal by myself.  That feeling of loneliness... of isolation... is more suffocating than COVID itself. 

Then here I am... complaining some more.  When almost all the people I know who are COVID stricken lose their sense of taste/smell... I can still enjoy my cup of brown water in the morning.  But last night's lasagna was so salty... it was downright bitter.  I wanted to hurl.  Hyper-sensitive tastebuds? Ultra-sensitive stomach? Or I'm just physically trying to revolt and rebel against this situation???  

The night ended someone more pleasant... as the sun started setting and the cool eastern winds chilled the air... I was able to listen (not watch, mind you) the Warriors close out the WCF.  And then... at 9PM PDT sharp... I was able to stream Parts I and II of Obi-Wan Kenobi on Disney+.  After that... popped a couple of Nyquils... and Zzzzzz I went.  

It’s a matter of when…

Past two days... been feeling icky.  I attributed it to high pollen.  And yet... as I was driving to work this morning, it took every fiber of my being to not hurl in the car.  Something was not right.  But I just tested negative last night.  

Instead of heading to work... I veered a right and came home for a quick 15 minute test.  

1 minute. 

2 minute. 

I kept staring at the white window of hope.  The "Control" line was dark and steady.  Then... I swear, my eyes are playing tricks on me.  That's not a line. No way!! I tested negative yesterday.  This is food poisoning!!  That line is the standard groove that's there... you'll see it under special lighting.  3 minutes.  3.5 minutes.... it was like the morning sky revealing itself from behind the some cotton tail clouds. 

Disbelief.  This happens to other people.  The careless. The anti-maskers. Not me! 

My moments of denial were strengthened by the whims of a false negative. So I grabbed another rapid-test.  And this time... the dual lines of death revealed themselves quicker than I can say, "KELLY CLARKSON!!" 

This is it... I got it.  Won the lotto.  Now I get to quarantine and plan for my cruise with all the other super-humans.

"Shhh!"

Yesterday... at SW's belated birthday hangout... we watched Dr. Strange 2.  And in the midst of the movie... there were a few noteworthy parts that required... shall we say... OVERREACTING!!!! I was the only one in the theater to audibly react.... and when I did... NN "Shhhh'ed" me!  

After the movie... she continued to chastise me for publicly reacting.  What say you??? If you saw, what I saw, in the movie... isn't that part of the movie going experience?!???! 

Eat Dead Cat

For the X times in a month... I've been on the losing end of eating a dead cat... which translates to... taking the fall or scapegoat.

It's not my fault.  Other people are delaying me. Other people don't include me.  Other people make decisions and execute without me knowing.  Yet... I'm the one held responsible.

It's easy to say that you're the hero and you'll take the fall, cuz it makes for a good story.  But in the heat of it... it sucks to be the fall guy... again.. I'm taking the blame for someone else's mistakes.  This gets old. Fast. 

Inflation

Was so hangry… I pulled into a gas station for a Snickers and when the cashier rang me up... $2.49!!!

WHAT?!?!  I turned it down... and walked out. Geeeeeez

Beautifully and Professionally done

Received an email from Symantec today that I just renewed anti-virus software for another 4 years and I was being charged $350.  My first thought... what did mom click on?? Or what did I subscribe 4 years ago... that led to this automatic subscription?

The email invoice was soooo professionally done.  The return email was a Symantec email. 

I started emailing and calling the number on the invoice to ask for a refund.  But the email bounced back... so I started calling.  But it was a "408" number and not a "877" or "800" number.  Hmm... Symantec is based in the South Bay.

So I called two times and it was "All circuits are busy now." I didn't think much of it.  But then... I called a third time and someone picked up!!  I was so surprised... I asked "Is this Symantec." The voice on the other end said "yes." I immediately went to put on my airpods... which I thought hung up the call.  

For the next two hours... I kept redialing that number to no avail.  I was under the impression that it was a real number... thinking that persistence will pay off.  After about 50 times of re-dialing... I started looking online for a customer service number.  Maybe I can get a hold of someone through the mainline and eventually get to Billing.

The website wasn't helpful.  I kept being led down dirt roads and chat bots.  Impossible to find help... get a hold of someone.  I finally found a chat window for Norton (not Symantec), that led to a 877 number.  I finally get connected, and in my conversation with the agent... he asked several questions that were so obvious that the email invoice was a Spam and Scam.  And I fell for it.

So sorry for the 408 number that I kept calling.  I'm hoping that person blocked me and wasn't getting 50 calls this afternoon. 

Socks

In a cultural, professional forum... a Senior VP from a Fortune 500 company commented on how he was once mentored to stop wearing white socks as all engineers do.  Dabble in designer socks or colored socks or off the cuff (hem?) socks.  Be different.  Break away from the norm.  That was a great awakening moment.

Prior to that..  I've always been an advocate of the wearing the same gold toe black socks from Costco.  If one has a hole in it... you put widowed sock in the sock drawer, cuz eventually, there will be another widower and you can marry the two together.  I've also blogged here and here on the woes of folding laundry.  If you have the same socks... you can mix.. but it'll always be a match!!

Fast forward to 2022.... we did two full loads of laundry... and as I'm folding the piles and piles of uncoordinated, systemically broken clothes... I end up with a mountain of socks.  Not just any mountain... but virtually every sock is different, where you're fishing and matching.  To a point where I was sweating and breathing heavily when I got done.  

Why make life so complicated??  Why can't it just simple, humdrum, Costco Gold-toed??? Why???

SURPRISE!!!

Got the most exciting and most scary of news today from a dear, DEAR, sister... that they are now expecting a third child. Their oldest will now be 9 years older than the coming child.  

Both of them are going to be 40+.... they must've given away all their baby things... and to have to start over.  What are they thinking?? What is going through their minds??  The sleepless nights... the crying... the diapers... the diaper training... the nursing... the EVERYTHING.  And by EVERYTHING... every single chance to correct the mistakes from the previous offsprings.

How I feel for them... how I'm jealous of them... What I wouldn't give to relive those years. 

May God bless you in every [waking] moment of the coming days. 

Wordle 319

 Wordle 319 1/6*

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eSports

Someone from TKA got a college scholarship for eSports.  That's right... playing video games.  SW is so jazzed now. 

Mid-Life Crisis-ing

The past few weeks have been rough... emotional and spiritual challenges.  The past few days... I realize that it's full blown mid-life crisis. 

Several things have recently occurred... 

First and foremost... my dear Sweet 小華 turned 11.  He's well past the halfway point of flying the nest.  NN is one year away from high school.  It's all happening too fast. 

Had a Zoom mentoring session with a SJSU freshman.  When I blatantly and honestly described my typical day... my answer was, "5 hours of recurring/standing meetings... 2-3 hours of emergency meetings... 2-3 hours of working." His response was... and I summarize... "Man... that's such a boring job!" 

More promotions. More job changes. More of my former peers excelling. More of my former direct reports being my equals.  What am I doing with my professional career??

I'm so behind the times.  There's so many things happening at work.. so many new technologies... so many new applications that are sunrising and sunsetting... and I'm completely oblivious to them.  I use to be that guy that was on top of all these fads.  Now... I try to hire ppl who can advise me on these fads. 

Then there's the lethargy and inertia.  I use to have so much energy... I can't sit still.  I'm always doing something.  Learning something. I can be using my "downtime" to work on ministry... or investing... or starting a second career.  But instead... I find myself watching Youtube videos.

Lastly... I'm doing an inventory check and trying to picture what the next 20 years will be like.  That... more than anything... is the sole reason for mid-life crisis-ing (MLC-ing).