In commemoration of National Hug Day... I thought I'd throw together a Hug-o-pedia. Just a bunch of random thoughts I've collected over the years. (To be revised)
Merriam Webster Dictionary defines hug, first and foremost as a verb.
hug verb\ ˈhəg \
1: to press tightly especially in the arms
2a: CONGRATULATEb: to hold fast : CHERISH (hugged his miseries like a sulky child)
3: to stay close (to the road hugs the river)
While that's true... my hug-o-pedia uses it as a noun, preceded by an adjective to classify the hug. In general, hugs get less and less intimate as age progresses. And hugs tend to be more intimate if there is a woman involved. But two women hugging don't necessarily mean it's more intimate than a woman and a man. No no....
The Classic Hug - let's start with the baseline. A hug is when two parties spread out both of their arms, torso's come together to a point of physical contact and (in my experience) both parties right ears are close to each other; which means the left ear faces outside. Generally, the taller of the two has their arms around the shoulder of the shorter party, but not quite around their neck. And the shorter of the two will have their arms anywhere between the person's waist and armpits.
The Bro Hug - Two men, who want to show affection beyond a handshake, which is too formal. But aren't intimately involved where they want their torsos to come together. So it's a combination of a handshake, only it's NOT a handshake, but the hands are clasped like an arm wrestling match where only the thumbs are criss-crossed. This is very important because the linkage of the two hands serve as a medium of protection between the two bodies. Both parties pull each other close to one another and their arms now naturally fold like chicken wings, but also double duties as the barrier between the two torsos. Since we're a right hand dominant society, the right hands come together and the left hand and arm swings to the right shoulder blade of the opposite party.
The Man Hug - An evolution of the Bro Hug... only the crossed-hand barriers isn't quite necessary. You will find this at events like family gatherings or church gatherings where some sort of intimacy is allowed and not frowned up. Like the Classic Hug, both arms are free to wrap around the opposite party. Only, the signature of a Man Hug is the infamous pat. "1-2-3" Three slaps on the other person's back. This is a minor distraction from the hug... and it's a man's way of telling the other person, "I'm not 100% into just hugging alone. I need to do something else with my hands and let you physically know they're busy."
The Side Hug - Used in a lot of professional environments, especially with parties of the opposite gender. Or even in familial environments where it gets awkward to hug that 2nd cousin whom you rarely see, but is alas, your relative. This hug consists of one party standing strategically to the side of the other party, maybe not 180 degrees side by side... but perhaps forming a 160 to 120 obtuse angle. One party...probably the more extrovert of the two, will reach out ONE arm and stretch it to the back of the other party. The other party has no choice but to lean in and reciprocate such an action. However, angled line that has formed, is too wide for torsos to come together.
The Too Tall / Too Short Hug - Generally speaking this is a tall male, hugging a shorter female. But it can go both ways, especially if there is an age difference. The challenge of this hug is obviously the height difference, which by default, prevents any torso from being contacted. Due to the awkward body contour, a side hug is rarely used here, but more of a classic hug. The taller of the two will probably lean forward and bend down, but automatically pushes the torso away from the other party. And the shorter of the two will reach up, which also automatically stretches the body to a point where torso contact is minimized. Here, unlike the baseline, the arms can be completely opposite, where the shorter of the two will wrap their arms around the taller one. And the taller will their arms under the armpits and around the shoulder blades. This can all be negated by the taller body kneeling or genuflecting. Which can bring us back up to the classic hug.
The Bear Hug - This was first introduced to me when I started watching WWF wrestling and this was used by multiple wrestlers, most notably Hillbilly Jim. A bear hug, in wrestling terms, is when you wrap your arms around your opponent's rib cage and you squeeze the living daylights out of them. It exudes pain and it incapacitates you by preventing circulation of oxygen. Now, we all know wrestling is fake (I know... I know... have a seat.) So take away any and all mal-intent of the bear hug and replace it with genuine gratitude and/or exuberance and that's what you have. This is usually reserved for people that are larger or bigger - hence the name "bear." Smaller people can also have displays of the bear hug (see below), but in general, this is to describe someone who's larger than life, that can only be matched by his/her larger than life heart. And they want more than anything to give you their entire being with an outpouring of genuine, physical kindness. (while cracking a rib or two on the way).
The I don't like you...but I'm polite Hug - There are a couple of scenarios that can be played out here. One - both parties know they don't like each other but will do it out of courtesy. This is where you see two people extend their arms AND elbows out like they're ballroom dancing creating a giant void or bubble. They come together, but only enough where their hands and perhaps their wrists are slightly around the other person's back and they give a gentle nudge of acknowledgement. Then, as fast as they moved in, they move out 10 times as fast. No harm no foul.
The other scenario is when one person THINKS they're going in for, perhaps, a Classic Hug. But the other party isn't so much interested. It's too late to turn to side-step for a side hug, and women generally don't do the crossing of the thumbs as a means of protection like the Bro Hug. In this, the party that's not so much interested will get into T-rex stance. T-rex, the king of the dinosaurs, are known for their massive jaw, gigantic tail and tiny little arms. So when you're in a situation where you don't want to return a hug... QUICK - T-rex stance!! Bring your elbows in and guard your body. This provides a level of protection for your torso and your arms are automatically in front of you. Now you have the option of keeping the arms up.... so you can place them strategically on the other party's shoulders/biceps. Or you can lay them low, put your hands around the person's luv-handles and lower ribs. Either way... you now have full leverage to push away! And with your elbows engaged to your own rib cage, if you're not strong enough to push THEM away, you will push yourself away and free both parties. "Awkward!!" Too late... What do you do?!? Nothing... there's nothing you CAN do. Just move on.
The Father / Daughter Hug - A daughter was, is and always will be Daddy's Little Girl and Daddy's Princess. Don't care how young or how old. That's just an age-old fact that will never change. From the first time I laid eyes on you, to your first word, to your first lost tooth, to your first day of school, to your first day biking without training wheels, to your first pair of earrings, to your first date, to your first B+, to your first heartbreak, to the day you're baptized, to your announcement that you've found "the right guy", to "Daddy please stop crying I need you to walk me down the aisle now", to "Daddy, you're going to be a grandfather", to repeating the cycle with HER little princess. A daughter will always be the most precious thing in a father's life. And the only way I hug my NN is with her arms over my shoulders, around my neck, and I'm hanging onto her like I held her the first day the nurse handed her to me. If it were possible.... I would never let go. =*(.
The Father / Son Hug - This one is tricky, because you ask any tweenage son and their dad about "hugs" and they'll give you puzzled look like you're speaking a foreign language. However... there are a few exceptions. Indeed... which is why this hug is strategically placed down here. I need some of the aforementioned hugs to reference. Father / Son's start out very much like Father / Daughter hugs. Then somewhere around 7-8, those hugs evolve into playful bear hugs. To a point where it's a competition who can out squeeze who. And within a blink of an eye... those playful bear hugs aren't as playful anymore. In fact, they're not cool anymore. You may get an occasional side hug. If you happen to be in the right position. But more often than not, you won't be. There will be years in between, where it'll be the No Hug, which is exactly like it sounds, no hugs. Then eventually, you do turn the corner and the side hug comes back into play. And with any luck, you may even evolve into the Man Hug (pat-pat-pat). Don't feel sad though. No-no. This is life. And it's also a fact one must accept. Cuz the other fact that is age-old is... at any Niners/Giants/Warriors/Shark game - anything I just wrote gets thrown out the window.
The {Placeholder} Hug -
A new hug that's work in progress... not sure how quite to describe it. But just to keep a placeholder for now.
The Perfect Hug - It is my belief, there is one and only one perfect hug for each person. For me...that person is my wife. Our hugs were not always perfect. Oh no... but over the years, as we lived together, grew together, morphed together.... I've found that our bodies are merging together. To a point where when we hug, we fit into each other like a jig-saw puzzle. Every little crevice, every little bump, every little odd shape part, was created so we can find each other and become one. There is no better feeling than to hold or be held by that perfect person.
The Hug Above All Hugs - The Return of the Prodigal Son (Rembrandt)
Mood: warm
