往事只能回味

沒有雞尾包的日子，第8日。 晴天帶雲

Today was weird... extremely weird. I was exhausted, irritable, uneasy, on the verge of breakdown. What happened? The answer... Yesterday. That's what happened.

Yesterday... I had lunch and dinner with some of my long time friends. Friends who made a huge impact in my life... in my most formidable teenage/high school years. Friends who were once closer to me than family. 上刀山，落油鑊，兩協插刀. That's how close we were.

For one reason or another... some natural, some by selection, we drifted apart. At the end of our gatherings... we had the same sentiments, "Let's do this again!" But in reality... that was just the polite thing to say. We're not going to get back together. What we once had.. is in the past. 往事只能回味. We've all moved on... found new friends... established new lifestyles. Without the day to day interaction and sharing, without being involved in each other's lives... any relationship will simply die out.  Friendship, like many things, need cultivating and constant caring. How rare can you truly put nothing in, but get something in return? Hmmm.... And I guess the physical toils of the past two weeks and the emotional roller coaster finally caught up to me simultaneously.

Then something even weirder happened.  We had fellowship tonight and I was NOT into it. My mind was wandering... my heart was sunk... my soul lifeless.  After I got home... two sisters 不約而同 texted me saying, "You were very quiet tonight, are you OK?" Who are these two sisters...that know me so well (or well enuf?) to reach out to check up on me.  I was touched... deeply touched.  To which I sarcastically responded to their genuine concern, "So..... am I usually a loud mouth?!?!?"

Onto 2019...

Mood: Indifferent with a tad of hope