90 years young

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 2

Today was Joyce's grandma's memorial service.  It's been nearly 3 months since that fateful night when I got a call at 2AM in the morning that "Bring her family now."  Who knew she would last till now? Who knew....

Oddly enough... it was my 3rd memorial service this year.  And it was NN and SW's 2nd one in less than a month.  Boy was I unprepared for this one.  The kids already have an aversion to death... but today... the ceremony was a traditional Chinese, Buddhist ceremony.  Incense, monks, chanting...  Oh the chanting.  It was actually spiritual warfare.

Throughout the entire 20 minute chanting... I tried to concentrate on Jesus.  I started reciting bible verses.  Failed. At times like this... my memory wasn't serving me well.  Or I just don't have a strong enough grasp of His word.  Then I started to sing worship songs.  Started with some recent ones. Failed.  The words just wouldn't come out.  Then I reached back and sang some of my favorite SOP songs... thinking I wouldn't forget them.  The chants kept wrecking my rhythm.  Failed. Then I went back to some of my favorite English worship songs like "Here I am to Worship."  Failed.  This was getting bad... so I fell back onto some of the purest and oversang worship songs... Christmas Carols.  They helped.... I got further along.  But the chanting was overpowering.  In the end... I had to go back to 80's TVB and Cantopop songs.  Just so I'm not entrapped with the chanting.  The chanting wasn't just from the monks.  A lot of the guests including family members were doing it too.  I was surrounded.   It finally ended.  And then it was time to view the person one last time.  I grabbed NN and paraded around the mortuary with everyone else with my arm around her.  The only word I can say were, "Jesus. Jesus."  I didn't know how else to shield my children from this.  I prayed for forgiveness.  For mercy.  The family was doing this to honor their parent.  The only way they knew how - though it is against the desires of God.  I bet I stood out like a sore thumb.  By refusing to offer incense.  By standing firm when everyone bowed.  I bet they think I'm odd, weird.... the black sheep of the family.

“If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life!  Whoever will not carry the cross that is given to them when they follow me cannot be my follower." Luke 14:26-27

It's tough.  It's real.  This is real.