A dilemma

COVID-19 - School Closure - Day 109

NN just turned 11.... and God bless me, she still lets me lie down next to her and tuck her in while putting her down [to sleep].  In the past.. I'll tell her one of my epic stories and she'll zonk out after a long day at school.  And then I'll use the next 30 minutes or so news-ing.  But since SIP, she's been staying up later and later.  To a point, where she'll talk to me.  

A few weeks ago... I realized that every time she starts to talk, I'll give her a one word answer and say, "Good night."  After a few tries, I'll get a little stern and say, "Time to sleep."  When will a daughter ever want to talk to her dad again...???  

Since that realization... I've had to force myself to to put the phone down and listen, and respond.  I'm tried.  I'm not up for small talk.  And half the time, I'm not even listening.  We'll talk for 2-3 minutes... and I'll want her to stop.  Cuz it IS getting late and she should sleep.  But do I want it to stop??  A few minutes of silence and I get to news again... and she'll turn around and ask me more questions and start small talk.  Ashamed to say it... I'll get annoyed.  But I've been pushing through it.  How I want to tell her to "Go to sleep" and be done with.  I know I'll regret it if I do that... even just one more time.  Cuz that one more time... could be the one last time.